Bràthair - Brother
leannan - Sweetheart
mo luran - my pretty boy
ghràdh - Love
M'eudail - My Dear/My Darling
Bòidheach - Beautiful
Friday, the day after my date with Lewis, is distracting. I can't focus on orders and daydream about Lewis in between customers, CeCe had teased me at first and gave me knowing stares, but that promptly transformed into annoyance when I failed to assist her when the lunch rush finally arrived. Not to say I didn't try, I did. It wasn't as fast and efficient as I would typically be - but I tried.
It says something about myself that a single date has me this distracted, that a day where I'm the sole focus of a man has me to the point I'm imagining what my life with him could be like. It's frankly ridiculous. Yet it feels incredibly pleasant to be able to do, I have someone to be distracted over and fantasize about. Actions and words to remember being said to me, promises I know will be held to look forward to. I have someone.
That someone is the only reason I'm happy today, why I had been happy since yesterday. Lewis is all I had hoped he would be and I'm afraid I'm already in love, even a little - or it could be I love the situation I'm finding myself in with all the attention he gives me. Yesterday was the best date I had ever been on, it wasn't dinner or movies like my ex and William, it was simply a walk and coffee while talking. It wasn't anything special, but it was.
Lewis had paid attention and showed me he was able to pick up on small changes in my mood the longer we stayed together, he subtlety dominated me, he made sure I was comfortable; that I ate and drank. Lewis had taken the time to allow me to get relaxed around him, for me to see he wouldn't harm me. He was charming and funny, let me set the pace while also guiding me gently. It was wonderful.
We never did bridge the topic of kinks or fetishes, 'Let's wait a bit to go into stuff like that. Know each other more. Ya already had a stressful time, shouldn't go and give ya a panic attack.'
I appreciated that he wanted to wait for me to be ready because I was not ready yesterday, I had been stressed over my wondering if it was a date and if he was a dominant or not. I could've made it through a whole conversation about my kinks, even if I know it will inevitably happen. These kinks of mine are things that I've been ashamed of before and some I've never experienced; I've mainly masturbated to porn of them.
I'd hate if Lewis decided it wasn't for him and left me, I would understand. Some of my more taboo kinks are exactly that, taboo. They make people uncomfortable, look at you weird and overall just judge you harshly. It's why I've been ashamed of some of them, especially one in specific. People compared it to something horrible on the internet, even if both adults are both completely consenting, and it made me feel terrible.
Other ones people find gross, and I guess I could understand that. If it wasn't coming from a person that swallows after giving a blow job, that is. I find that's hypocritical, seeing as we're doing the same thing just in different forms. They swallowed instantly, I don't and like to do something a little extra. A Virgin or vanilla, a person liking normal boring sex, coming to me and judging, I understand- it's taboo for them.
Lewis doesn't strike me as a guy to judge harshly, by the stories he told of himself in Scotland and Ireland, he's willing to get dirty and try new things. That's why he's a dominant at all, he saw Seán with a submissive and was interested in what he was doing. He may want to try certain kinks to see if he would enjoy them as well, self discovering is a good thing after all.
Per-agreement, kinks is another topic for another day. That isn't what has me all distracted, though. It's how the date yesterday ended, shortly after our deal to wait to do BDSM scenes or anything related, Lewis had to leave for work. We had digressed into less serious topics after that conversation, back to childhood stories and jokes, to my art and Lewis's construction job.
Lewis is easy to speak with, even after the anxiety I gathered from that whole conversation, especially after. Without the barrier I had built up, it was remarkably easy to let myself out more and let my personality shine. I'm still awkward and shy, yet I had allowed a part of myself I mainly show around CeCe out and Lewis genuinely seemed pleased with that.
Freely laughing, talking without filtering my words, or overthinking them was liberating. It's one of the things I enjoyed about the date as other times I've been on a date, I couldn't do that. I'd filter myself, overthink and be anxious about everything I did. Lewis's presence is relaxing, which is surprising because he is a large man and could very easily be signed off on the most intimidating in the world list. He's got a safe aura about him, in my personal opinion, I know he wouldn't hurt me despite only knowing him for a short time. Granted, I've been wrong before, but I don't think I am this time.
In the middle of a story, he had been telling me of when he and Seán had been attempting to herd a group of sheep into a paddock to shave the wool off them. They were on horses, Seáns family is an old fashioned group of people, do things by tradition and how the elders where raised. Lewis was reciting how his horse had got spooked by a long stick that one of the sheep kicked in front of them, Lewis got thrown off and the horse, named Chilly for his love of Chili, ran off.
Directly in the middle of his sentence, a long string of swear words and colorful language, his phone rang. I was invested in the story, Lewis has a way of drawing me in and hanging on his every word- probably my voice kink zag play. He scowled at the phone but given me an explanation that it was Seán calling, asked if I minded.
He was upset, he didn't want to be interrupted and I figure Seán got the message and didn't care. 'I'm busy, Bràthair.'
He had to leave, it was already close to five and he had to pick Seán up. Lewis walked me home to my apartment building door, never followed me in but made sure I made it home safely. He finished his story on the walk over and we laughed over stupid things on the way.
It was the moment we stopped at the door to the building that I keep replaying over and over. Lewis turned me to him, the hand that was resting on my shoulder had softly glided to caress the junction of my neck and shoulder. He was looking down on me with intense green eyes and when he spoke it was with that stern tone I had dubbed as his dominant voice.
'I want you to go in and text me you're okay, a lot could happen between now and to your door. Your gonna fix something ta eat, ask me if you want. Then your gonna take a nice, warm, shower. Paint and before bed, eat something else. Call me when you lay down. Understand?'
I listened to every word and order he told me. I texted him when I entered my apartment, got permission to eat chicken parmesan, took a shower, and painted. I texted him whenever I completed what he told me to do and every time I got praised, he didn't dismiss me - 'good boy!', 'I'm proud, thank you!'.
We texted when Lewis had small breaks, sometimes he couldn't reply as fast as he did the other night. The minute he could, he made sure to apologize for making me wait and tell me he couldn't wait to get off work and talk to me. I felt appreciated and cared for.
At eleven at night, I called him. It took a bit longer for him to answer, I figured he was still hung up with work or doing something important. Then he answered, and I could hear someone in the background, Lewis had to growl at them to shut up.
'Hey, Tommy Boy. I'm with Seán, so any stupidity you hear, it's him.'
Seán stayed quiet while Lewis told me how proud he was that I did what I was told to do, giving me praises and making me blush and giggle. He heard me yawn ten minutes into the call, laughed fondly, and told me to get comfortable. On speaker from the pillow, Lewis asked, 'Ya want me to hum again, leannan?'
I fell asleep to him humming for the second time, then woke up sometime later, maybe twenty minutes hearing Lewis and Seáns conversation. They were whispering, mumbling even if they were in a car- I could hear the sounds of the vehicle. Whenever Seán accidentally got too loud, Lewis would scold him. 'Ah, quiet down. Boys sleepin.'
To my shock, Seán seemed fine with the situation. Whispering, ''pologies, Bràthair. He'll sleep all nice now, I'll be quiet.'
It made me feel special, knowing they'd lower the volume of their voices for me to be able to sleep even over the phone. No one had done this, stayed on the phone for me to sleep better. I only listened for a few minutes, hearing how Lewis likes my eyes and thinks I'm adorable. I fell back asleep soon, letting the deep voices surround me.
It's not only what happened last night, but this morning too. Lewis called me and woke me up, chuckling at the whine I gave when I answered. 'Get up, boy. Time for work. Pick out some clothes, and take a shower.'
I had whined and acted like a teenager would do when told to go go to school, but still dragged myself over to the dresser and started digging through it. My half-asleep brain didn't realize I was voicing my struggle to find something I liked or wanted to wear, it wasn't until Lewis piped up.
'Get out two pairs of pants and tops lay them on the bed, and take a picture for me. I'll pick while you get a shower.'
I'm unsure if he heard my sigh of relief or not, but I quickly did as told. This is why I'm wearing black skinny jeans, a big red sweater, and my converse shoes. I'm cleaned with a full stomach, and I was on time for work. Lewis had asked for my schedule to make sure I was up, ready, and at work on time. I don't regret it, especially after seeing Miss Parrys surprised smile while I walked in.
CeCe teased me, saying I was a real adult now. She wants to meet Lewis again, I safely assume to threaten him if he hurts me, but she may just want a single friend of his. I had told her what happened and she gave me a rare, sincere smile at seeing me happy.
"Tomboy, I'm going to slap you if you don't pay attention. You already spilled three coffees, don't make me get physical." CeCe growls, frustration winning out.
Sheepishly, I smile. Hoping if I am cute she'll have mercy on me. "Sorry, CeCe. I'm just so happy today, I can't focus."
My friend rolls her eyes, tone sarcastic and mocking, "And I'll be so happy when I hit you in the head."
Perhaps it's childish to stick my tongue out at her, but I do so anyway. Nothing, not even CeCe's bad attitude, will ruin my good mood. I understand she's aggravated, I would be too, and I'm doing my best. I'm happy though and I can't always control where my mind goes, I just want to revel in my memories of what had happened.
I can't though because Lewis promised to come to the shop and get coffee for his worker friends, I don't want to disappoint him by getting lost in my head and spilling coffee everywhere. That would appear like I hadn't gotten sleep and he would probably think I've been lying to him about the phone calls working. I want him to see me hyper and wake and cheerful, exactly as I feel.
He never told me a time he would be in, saying that they don't always pay attention to the time while working. He just said that he'd most likely be here towards the end of the lunch scramble. It's going on one-thirty, and I'm bouncing around the counter area watching the door.
CeCe has taken to making comments from the corner of the counter, staring at me with a smirk and amused neon red eyes. She compared me to a pet waiting for the owner to return, then changed her mind midway through the sentence and simply stated, 'Actually. You're like an omega waiting for the alpha to come back and fuck you. Which makes sense, you are.'
I never understood her love for alpha omega dynamics, to a certain extent, yes. The dominant-submissive power play, I completely appreciate. The play on Alphas and Omegas, like wolves, I do not. That's her kink, what she's into if it is a kink. She claims she's an Alpha, the dominant one depending on who's she's with.
I've seen her with her ex-boyfriend to know it isn't just a quirk she has or something she picked up on from reading, she called her boyfriend Alpha and he called her Omega. I finally understood how people who see or hear me call someone Master feels, confused, and slightly concerned. She never explained it, just shrugged and, 'It's my thing. Like you have Masters and slaves or chains and whips. I have Alpha and omega.'
When she phrased it like that, I figured it could be related to Pet Play, another branch off Bdsm. She denied it. I have given up on figuring it out.
I ignore her sassy remarks, checking my phone just as I hear the door open. Instantly, my eyes snap up to see who entered, and a wide smile appears on my lips when Lewis walks in with Seán. Both men are dirty, beards and hair having dirt dust clinging to them and their clothes wet with sweat even in the cool air.
Lewis is in an outfit similar to yesterday's, worn-out blue jeans and a gray tank top with his boots. He has to kick the doorway on the outside to knock off clumps of dirt or mud, Seán also doing it not to track a mess inside. Lewis has his hair up in another bun, but this time I catch sight of a small braid on the side of his head above his ear. It disappears into the bun, but his normally dirty blonde hair has a dark strand tied in with the braid.
Seán is in nearly the exact clothes as Lewis, dark gray jeans that have seen a better day and a white tank top with a black zip-up hoodie over it. He doesn't appear annoyed today, smiling at something Lewis had said and giving his friend a rough pat on his shoulder. Lewis playfully shoves him while rolling his eyes, moving towards the counter.
Lewis grins at me and leans on the surface separating us, Seán stands next to him like last time offering me a soft smile. It's odd to know that the Irishman knows that Lewis calls me to help me sleep and stays on the line all night, and doesn't judge me. He had acted casual when I heard them speaking last night as if it wasn't weird at all.
"Hey, mo luran! How's work goin?" Lewis greets me, energetically.
I open my mouth to answer, wanting to tell him I'm much better with all sleep I'm getting now and not being late, but CeCe beats me to it. She appears next to me, pointing at Lewis with a sharp black nail that has him leaning away.
Her voice annoyed yet also primarily teasing, "You! You need to tell him to focus! He's been all in his head thinking about you I might I as well be working by myself! If I clean more spilled coffee, you won't have a date anymore!"
Seán covers his mouth while fighting a smirk and a laugh, eyes flicking between CeCe, Lewis, and I. Lewis blinks, green eyes slightly crossed eyed at the nail in his face before looking at CeCe then me. I, quite frankly, am horrified. My eyes are wide and cheek red as I turn and start slapping CeCe's arm in retaliation.
"CeCe!! I'll kill you!" She merely laughs as she dances out of my reach to deal with a woman on the other side of the counter.
Lewis has a smirk on his face and Seán seems just as amused as before. Lewis leans forward again, asking, "That true, Tommy Boy? Been distracted?"
I debate lying, saying CeCe was playing around but decide I shouldn't. Not liking the idea of starting a relationship with a lie already, and we need trust and honesty. Even if it's embarrassing. Shyly, I nod. "Yea...I'm just really happy and hyper, I can't always focus."
Lewis nods and Seán backs off to give us a bit of space, even if he only moves a few feet away and pretends he's not listening. "That's okay, I get that. I'm like that too, one of the reasons Seán almost dies by my hand."
My eyebrows furrow and I blink, not expecting that. Lewis shrugs at me like it's not a big deal, then suddenly gets serious. "Ya gotta focus though, boy. Do one thing at a time, get into work headspace."
I sigh, I know I should listen to that advice yet it's harder than it sounds. "But.."
"Hard, I know. Tell ya what, I'll reward you if you don't spill anything else. Anythin you want, it's yours, as long as you don't spill anythin. You do, I'll punish you, non-sexual."
I'm curious and apprehensive, wondering what he'll do as a punishment. I love that he's doing what we agreed on, him dominating me and guiding me to be better. "What kind of punishment?"
Lewis smirks, evilly. "No painting, or drawing, until I say so."
A gasp leaves my throat, unbelievably, "You wouldn't."
"I will. Don't spill a drop, or ya know, a cup. Got that, ghràdh?" He raises an eyebrow at me and I suppress the urge to answer with, 'yes, Master.'
I haven't spilled any more coffee after Lewis and Seán left hours ago. I'm proud of myself for managing to concentrate, I listened to Lewis's advice and I blanked my mind of everything besides the order I was given. It was frustrating at first because I couldn't do it, but the more I tried the more it worked.
Having Lewis threaten to punish me worked like a charm, getting a punishment this soon would be horrible. It implies I disappointed Lewis because he believed in my ability to concentrate, I don't want him to think I'm going to need punishments every day or I can't do something as simple as this. Being punished is a good way to ground me and I like them, but having one only a few days into the start of a possible relationship is too soon in my opinion.
Lewis had told me to text him when I got off work to update him on what happened and if I do need to be punished, I had sent a message as I left the coffee shop. I wasn't expecting a reply right away, I figured he would be at work still, as I keep forgetting to ask if he has a regular schedule or just goes when called.
Hence why I'm a bit shocked when my phone buzzes with an incoming call, the screen displaying 'Lewis', with a heart emoji because I was lonely and it seemed like a good idea.
It's embarrassing how fast I tapped the answer button, putting the phone to my ear just in time to hear Lewis speak. Voice rough and husky, "Tommy Boy, Ya been good?"
A pleasant full-body shiver goes through me as I walk the path to my apartment, enjoying the question much more than I should. My answer is enthusiastic, ignoring my reaction. "Yeah! I didn't spill anything! And I actually helped CeCe, she still hit my head though.."
CeCe had just said I deserved the slap to the back of my head for making her clean my mess, I wasn't hurt and I understand. I would've wanted to slap me too, she just dares to do it. I assume it's how she shows her affection for people, gently punching an arm or softly slapping the back of a person's head. Not everyone hugs or kisses cheeks, depends on the person.
Lewis laughs at my energetic tone that had veered to confused at the end of my sentence. "Good boy, M'eudail! I'm proud of you! I'm glad I don't need to take away your painting, I'm looking forward to seeing it when it's finished."
My cheeks flush at the praise, sheepishly looking at the ground even if he can't see me. "I'm happy too...getting a punishment over this would've sucked."
He makes a sound, a faint click of his tongue or a tsk. "Ah, naw. It's not bad, Tommy Boy. Sometimes ya need a punishment, no matter what over. Getting grounded helps, especially over something small like this."
Of course, Lewis is correct. Getting grounded does help immensely, even with something as needing to focus more. Encourages me to find a solution or way to make myself focus while having the knowledge that I have someone there to guide me, someone that will take control when I get overwhelmed by myself or give up. Punishments aren't always necessarily punishments, they can be but with something like this, it's mainly to get me to a place where I can control my mind.
"Yea, I know..." I won't deny I'm pouting, because I know I am and Lewis can hear it from the chuckle I get.
"I'll reward you tomorrow, bòidheach. Call me when you wake up and I'll pick you up, we'll do whatever you want."
"Whatever I want? I'm not good at deciding things, and I don't want to make you spend money on me." I'm biting my lip when I walk into my apartment building.
Lewis hums, "Then I'll surprise you." A pause, then, "You're not making me do anythin. I want to spoil you, give you things and take you places because I think you'd like it and deserve it. I wanna make you happy, let me do that."
Smiling, I feel my stomach flutter and a warmth spread throughout my body. Unbelievably happy that he wants to do these things for me, even if hadn't been on more than one date. I find it sweet, although maybe others would find it odd.
"Oh..thank you then." Is all I can come up with to say.
He laughs at the shy tone I have, "don't thank me, it's nothin. Are you home?"
Closing my apartment door behind me, I answer while setting my keys down. "Yeah."
"Good. Take a shower, eat something, and relax. Work on that painting of yours before bed. I'll be here when you need company."