Ardor

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Chapter 2: Rubies aren't always rare

February 20th, 2017

TW: Abuse aspects.

Gabriel

It’s just any other day. She comes home from work angry for some reason... and takes it out on me. She tells me that It’s my fault she goes to work angry, why her day is bad. She tells me that I’m the worst fucking thing that has ever happened to her. She calls me a pussy and tells me to leave her myself.

She tells me these muscles I have are worth nothing if I don’t know how to use them.

Kyle tells me that I need to leave her. It’s not a want to him anymore. He tells me that if I don’t leave her I’m going to end up killing myself. He’s seen the bruises and scars. I tell him what she does. He’s the only one that listens.

I tried calling abuse hotlines. They either tell me that I’m the man and I need to do it myself, that it can’t be that hard leaving her. They ask me my height and weight and hers and laugh. They tell me that I’m probably the abusive one in the relationship.

Maybe it is me.

I couldn’t help but let out a sob as she pounded harder on the bathroom door. The door was locked and boarded up with a chair, but I was still scared she was going to find a way to get in. Last time she kicked down the door with a lot of kicks and screams, but that time I didn’t have the chair against the door.

″HEY GABE! OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR OR I’LL FUCKING KICK IT DOWN MYSELF!″ Ruby screamed as she pounded her fists on the door.

″FUCK OFF! JUST BECAUSE YOUR BOSS FUCKING MADE YOU DO SOME SHIT AROUND THE STORE DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!″ I screamed back at her, my vision getting blurry because of the tears. I don’t care if she fucking beats me up anymore. I don’t care if she fucking kills me.

She’s making me go insane.

She stayed silent at my words. The pounding on the doors immediately stopped as I pulled myself off the bathroom floor, my bones aching with every movement I made. The bruises she inflicted on me have been getting worse every fucking day...

″Open this door and fight me yourself, pussy. Come on Gabe, you think you’re big and scary? Open the door.″ She hissed at me.

After months of abuse from this woman, constantly living in fear of her hitting me or even fucking killing me... I don’t care if I go to jail. I don’t care if they don’t believe me. I don’t care.

″I can’t wait until I tell everyone how you’re such a pussy. You give off a scary-ass impression to everyone, make everyone hate you with your goth look and chains... let me tell you something, baby... you’re NOTHING.″

I pulled the chair off of the door, unlocking the door and immediately bringing my boot to the door, kicking it down and sending Ruby down to the ground with a crash. Her eyes widened as I reached down, grasping onto her shirt and pulling her up off of the ground. Her teeth grinded as the growl escaped my throat before I spoke.

″You want me to fight you? You want me to fucking tear you to shreds so you could cover up what you’ve done to me? What do you think they are gonna do when they see the old bruises on my arms? See the fucking nail marks in my NECK?″ I screamed in her face, throwing her down on the couch in front of me.

″Men like you need fucking pushing around. You’re nothing, Gabriel. YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?″ She said to me, grasping onto my hair and pulling me down to her level. She was breathing heavy, her body shaking with every breath she took. Her eyes looked murderous.

I don’t want to leave her. I really don’t. The sweet times we had together in the past were too hard to let go. She’s the first person I’ve ever fell in love with. Yeah, I’ve had girlfriends or boyfriends or other partners the past... but I love her. I don’t know why I love her so much... How could I find someone who puts up with me as much as she does?

″Ruby, please... I can’t keep going like this, I don’t want to lose you Ruby...″ I couldn’t help but sob out. The confidence immediately left my body as I cried. I couldn’t see her through the tears that welled up in my eyes as I begged her to stop.

What was I begging her to stop doing? I don’t know at this point. Stop hitting me, stop abusing me... stop calling me names. I begged her to stay. I begged her to love me like she used to.

The punch she sent across my face knocked me down on the ground. I quickly wiped my eyes as I pushed myself back into the wall as she loomed over me, her eyes twisted with a sense of power.

″Fucking cowering pussy.″

She sent another punch across my face.

″You mean nothing to me.″

A kick to the stomach.

″I fucking hate your guts.″

She grasped onto my hair, her nails digging deep into my head as she slammed my head repeatedly into the wall. I couldn’t move anything. My whole body felt numb as she continuously threw my head against the wall.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to leave her.

-------------------------------

″Honey... why do you let her do this to you?″ Auntie Charlotte murmured to me as I sobbed out against her, feeling as she pressed the rag onto my head. She said that my head was bleeding pretty badly... but it was nothing too serious where I needed to take a big trip to the hospital.

″I love her, auntie Charlotte... I don’t know why she doesn’t love me the same.″ I sniffled against her. She ran a comforting hand up and down my back, holding me close to her as I cried heavily.

″Some people like to see the destruction of good-hearted people.″ She said to me.

″She was so sweet in the beginning...she would come to the church with me, remember? She’d help me plan events for the church, she’d even come to some services... she’d bake me stuff, she’d spend time with me.. I just don’t know-″

″Gabriel, that’s called being a good person. That doesn’t mean she’s someone who you could spend the rest of your life with...″ She whispered to me.

″She’s not good anymore...″ I mumbled.

She pulled me up from her chest, bringing a thumb to my cheek and wiping the tears that flowed from my eyes away.

″I remember how your mother and father used to be. They were the most beautiful couple I had ever seen... They took care of each other, regardless of how different they were. He was a quiet man who kept to himself, while she was an outspoken jumpy girl. She kept him in line while he kept her safe... Gabriel, I want you to find someone like that.″

″I-I don’t think I can, I don’t think I ever will-″

″You’re young, honey... you will.″ She whispered to me, leaning over and placing a kiss on my forehead. She ran a comforting hand up and down my back once more.

″You’re going to find someone who loves you for you... someone who will take care of you. You deserve it... just fight through this, okay? you could do this.″

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