I still remember her fragrance when she used to spend time in my villa with Lisa. I still remember the beauty of her face. She was light. A light emerging from the dullness I was trapped in. She was fresh, alluring, and so gorgeous. She was that kind of light I was searching for, for a long time, now. A new dimension of life I wanted to discover. A new adventure to go through.
It was summer. I have always had all the things I wanted in my life. I was in my late forties at that time...I’ve got a family: a loving wife Carla, two sons: Jason, 24, George 13, and a daughter Lisa, 20. I love my children. They’ve always been my source of inspiration. They like me, too. I guess that I’ve always been there for them and I always tried to do my best to provide them with what they really needed.
My wife is a designer. She likes fashion. She’s worked with many famous people, tailoring clothes for big ceremonies, anniversaries, parties, and other festivities.I was twenty-two years old when I met Carla. Our parents were business partners. We soon became friends, and with time our relationship became intensified and we couldn’t resist falling in love with each other. I liked the way she was. The way she used to be. The way she used to care about me. The way she used to love me. I liked those moments we spent together.
I must say that at that time all I wanted is to become like my father, a wealthy business man. I wanted to have a big house, a nice car, and a good wife ... and I could finally get what I wanted, what I always dreamt of having.Those years spent with my family made me realize how lucky I am to have a wife who loved me and who was devoted to me heart and soul. To be surrounded by my own children. Those babies whom I cared about from the first day they were born.I guess I was a fulfilled husband and father. I liked that sensation. I liked that time when I used to feel so ... but with time, there are a lot of things which come, somehow, to a change. Maybe to an end. I do not know. I am still searching for answers.
The love of my children was and will be always the same. I miss spending time with them. Jason left home after high school and went to study in another state other than California. He tries to come in every Christmas and every summer to spend time with us. Lisa and George, on the other hand, still live with Carla and I. Despite this, we meet only at night and sometimes during the weekend.We live in the same house. We don’t meet though. That’s sad, depressing and outrageous. This is how life goes. I got busy with work. It happened that I don’t get home for a couple of weeks. All I did was to work, and work .... and work, without realizing that it was a way for me to escape loneliness, emptiness and shallowness. I thought that I really loved her and that she was meant for me. We were meant for each other.I woke up one day and I realized that my heart was beating for someone else. For someone special. For someone that I’ve never imagined myself falling in love with because of this difference that separates us. Because we didn’t belong to the same world. We were mysteriously attracted to each other though. I have tried, and tried tirelessly to find explanations to what I could not allow myself from feeling, from what I shouldn’t feel for her ... but I couldn’t. It was over me, overwhelming me with a sense of revival. A sense of getting over sadness and monotony.I couldn’t get rid of her. Couldn’t get rid of her image, her face, even her body out of my head. Her silhouette was inscribed forcefully deep down my soul. She mesmerizes me in every unimaginable way.
Another summer has come. I had in mind to invite as usual some relatives and friends over, organize some barbecue dinners, play golf, talk about politics, and spend some time for business meetings at home in my office.In the summer, I like switching to zen mode and work at home. I don’t want to spend much time in my company. I sometimes go to work and attend meetings when necessary. Most of the time, I am at my office working the whole day. When they need me, we skype.This is how I like to work during summertime. I know that my assistants Phil, Jonathan, and Maria will do their best to keep me posted with everything going on within the company.
That summer was special ... for many years now. That summer, Jason came with his girlfriend Zoe and her sister Tiffany to spend some time at home.Lisa turned twenty that summer. She is no longer that little girl I used to put on my legs and sing songs to. She is no longer that little girl to whom I liked to lull and cuddle. She became a young adult. She claimed her independence. Her mother and I wanted her to stay with us until she finishes college, then she can go by herself and settle down in a place for her own.
But I had to prepare myself. As a father, I cared a lot about my daughter and I wanted to keep protecting her. Even though she’s become a woman, she remained that little girl that I used to have in my arms. She remained that hot-headed little girl with whom I liked to play hide and seek in the closet. I like to remember those memories of my daughter and me.That summer George was not with us. He travelled to Europe on a linguistic trip to France. He was accompanied by some friends and teachers. He went to spend a couple of weeks there visiting many places in France.
There were some rooms ready for Jason’s girlfriend and her sister. Carla was happy to welcome the girls at our house. She was excited to meet Jason’s girlfriend. I knew that the girls would have fun. They had access to the swimming pool. The beach was about a few miles from home.As usual, I planned to keep on working on future projects with my assistants and co-workers. I decided as well to buy a telescope to gaze at the stars from my office. I’ve always liked astronomy. The cosmos. I wanted to improve my skills and buy a new one to be able to enjoy myself more when gazing at the magic of the stars.
Carla was on a big project during that period. She had appointments to go to and clients to meet. We didn’t often meet. I must say that I missed my wife. I missed being with her. I missed spending time with her. I didn’t want to think about that; I had other stuff to focus on. I had to work hard.That early morning, I remember, I wanted to feel her inside of me. I came closer and I hugged her. She turned to me and said as usual, for some time now, she had to get prepared for work. I missed my wife. I wanted to make love to her. She resisted, but I insisted. She resigned. I felt she didn’t want to love me in return, but when we started fucking, she was very responsive to my touches and kisses. I was proudly rewarded. Of course, I was.I was inside her for the umpteenth time and it always felt magical, except for that time. I felt I was different. She was the same with me, but I wasn’t. It was mechanical. It was something that I am accustomed to do. I no longer question myself why do I feel this need to do it. Is it because she is my wife? Is it because she is the mother of my children? Or is it because she is a woman and I desire being inside her?I do not know ... I cannot answer .... I do not have an answer and that frustrated me a lot. I was a lost man. I had needs, certain needs to fill. I had a wife whom I loved. But when we come closer, I no longer feel that passion I use to feel for her.I didn’t have time for overthinking. No time to try to analyze my feelings, the origins of such emotions expressed during love time with my wife in bed. I had my work, my world, and my business partners. I had to get up and start work.This is what I did. We got up at the same time from bed. She headed to the bathroom to have a speedy shower and get prepared while I went to my closet to try on some new clothes. I waited for her to go out and then I went to shower. From the corridor, the sound of rhythmic music could be lively heard. I came in the kitchen and there were Jason and the girls preparing breakfast. I smiled and said hi to them. They asked me if I wanted to join them for a breakfast. I told them I was going to have one at my office, but they insisted on me having breakfast with them in the garden next to the pool. I couldn’t decline. I wanted to spend some time with my son and get to know his girlfriend.We sat and started to eat. The girls kept asking me questions about the world of business. About work. About responsibility. Many questions related to the Adult’s world.I was having a pleasant conversation. We were talking when I heard Lisa asking where we were. Jason replied indicating where we were sitting. There she comes. My girl. My daughter. She waved towards our direction then she turned back to someone and whispered a few words. Then turned back another time towards us and said “My friend is here. I’m not alone”.
- “Let her in. Join us”, Jason said.
- “Sure, she’s welcome. Where is she?” I said.
There, she is. Her name was Amy Morgan. Amy.The first thing I liked about her was her freshness. She seemed to be so reserved. The kind of person you couldn’t reach easily. Amy was slim. She had a nice silhouette. Blond. Her hair was long. Her eyes were hazel. She was adorable.My daughter seemed to be close to her. Lisa had some friends. Amy was new among her list. I’ve never met her before.I let the girls sit then I apologized to leave them so soon. I had a video conference in about fifteen minutes. I smiled at them. Then I left.It was her fragrance...yes it was her fragrance that draw my attention. A fruity perfume that I keep in my mind each time I remember her. Amy.I spent three successive hours working in my office. I started to get hungry. I wanted to go downstairs and see what miss Douglas prepared for lunch.Mrs. Douglas was our housemaid. An old lady of a certain age. She has been working in my house for over ten years now.I found them sitting around the table, already eating and chatting.
- “You’ve already started without waiting for the big boss !” I said teasingly, which made them laugh. Jason invited me to sit with them, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to leave them alone. I went to Mrs. Douglas and told her to bring me a plate next to the pool. I decided to swim some laps before lunch.It was hot and I needed to cool my body down.I plunged in the water. I liked swimming. I swam for some time. Then, I got out from the pool, went to sit down on the deck chair and started eating my lunch. I noticed that Kyle, Jason’s friend, came over. It was nice seeing the house filled up with positive vibes. I couldn’t restrain myself from looking at her. At Amy. She was so pretty in her white short dress. I didn’t know why I kept looking at her. I felt a need to. That lady bewitched some part of my soul. She was my daughter’s age. I was mysteriously attracted to her, without even understanding the reason why. I liked looking at her from time to time. She had a natural beauty. This is what I liked the most about her.I was informed by Lisa that Amy came to spend some time at our house. She lived in the neighborhood. I told Lisa that her friend was welcome and that she can come whenever she wants. That I didn’t have any problem with that. I wanted my daughter to have a summer training in my associate’s company. She liked the idea, but she wanted to start next month. She needed to rest for some time.It’s been already four days, that she’s been here. Without realizing I started to get used to her presence, her laughter, her smiles, and her voice. I started to appreciate her.A good ambiance was set at home. All the kids were together spending their days swimming, playing video games, going out, going to the beach, and watching T.V. Carla wasn’t much present those days with us. I miss George. I felt I was by my own working the whole day, even though I was surrounded by my children and their friends.That night, I decided to listen to some music in my balcony. I missed my wife and wanted to spend some time with her. She promised to come back before midnight. I sat and pressed play. Frank Sinatra was singing all along the room. I was standing in the balcony watching the stars. From my balcony, I had a view on the swimming pool.That night the kids decided to swim some laps and have dinner by the pool. Jason and his girlfriend were sitting near the pool making out. It made me remember the old times with Carla. Tiffany was swimming on the other side and talking to Lisa, who was swimming, too. What about Amy?Where was she?There she was ... sitting on the deck chair. She wasn’t alone. Kyle was talking to her. Unconsciously, I felt somehow an uneasiness watching them talking. He seemed to flirt with her. She seemed not interested by him.I didn’t like the way he looked at her. This way he has to try to get closer to her. It made me uncomfortable.I stayed there looking at them. She was wearing a bikini. She had a nice body. I couldn’t stop looking at every inch of her body. I tried to scan every angle of it. Every shape of it. I contemplated it as if I was tasting a piece of a delicious cake. Yeah she was irresistibly delicious in that reddish bikini. All of a sudden, I wanted to be him next to her. I wanted to be able to just speak to her, even for a minute. I wanted to have her eyes on mine, and mine on hers. I wanted to plunge into the depth of her eyes. But I couldn’t.I couldn’t allow myself of doing such a thing because I was her friend’s father. I could be her father’s age. I could not allow myself to have such lusty thoughts about her. I couldn’t and I shouldn’t. But I liked it. I liked it so much. I decided to turn around and go to lay on my bed waiting for my wife to come back home. I started daydreaming when I heard her voice coming. She was here. Carla’s arrived. We kissed. Then she went to have a shower. She kept telling me how tired she was. How she spent her day. Who she met. What she did. But I wasn’t listening. I was just hearing her voice. I wasn’t listening to what she was telling me. My mind was on someone else. It was on her. On Amy.When I heard the sound of water, I felt the need to go straightforward to the bathroom. This is what I did. I headed there. I took off my pants and T-shirt and joined her. She was surprised to see me next to her. We haven’t had sex in the bathroom for ages now. I wanted to have sex with my wife. I don’t know what happened to me. I told her not to shout and to let me take the lead. And she did so.All the time I was inside her, I was thinking of Amy. I was imagining myself touching her waist, holding her in my arms, embracing her body, and going through her. I wanted that. Hopefully, I could do that with my wife that night.Nevertheless, that feeling of craziness has not stopped erupting from all the parts of my body. I felt an excitement. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to get closer to her. I wanted her. It was not conceivable. I shouldn’t say that. I mustn’t think this way. This is not possible at all. I am married with three children. She’s my daughter’s friend. She is so young. I could be her father.She is just twenty, but so beautiful. At that stage, age doesn’t count for me. What counts was how I was going to get closer to her. To Amy.That night, after making love to my wife, I woke up in the dawn. I was hungry. I decided to go to the kitchen to eat a snack.The light was dim in the hall. I entered in the kitchen. Suddenly, I saw a silhouette in the dark. I decided not to make a move and to tip-toe until I reach the person standing there in the other side of the kitchen.I started approaching him till I reach his position. When I decided to grab him, the person turned all of a sudden as if he felt my presence behind him. And then I realized it was her: Amy. She got scared by my presence so that she was about to scream, when I quickly placed the palm of my hand on her mouth as an attempt to tell her not to make a noise.I realized for a moment that my left hand was surrounding her waist while my other hand was on her mouth. She kept looking at me in terror. I let my hand off her and apologized.
- “I haven’t recognized you. I’ve just thought you were ...”
- “a thief !” she said angrily.
- “ It is not what I was about to say Ms. Morgan ” I smiled teasingly.
- “I came here to drink some water sir. I didn’t mean to bother you”
- “You don’t bother me ... Amy. Would you like me to get you some water?” I said that realizing that I have softened my voice on purpose.She didn’t expect me to reply in such a way. She kept looking at me for a few seconds then finally could utter those words.
- “If you please ... I’d appreciate that”
She sat on the chair. I brought her a glass of water and apologized again for scaring her. She thanked me and started drinking. She seemed thirsty. While she was drinking water, I couldn’t restrain myself from looking at her hair in the dimness of the night. I liked that reflection in the light of the dawn. She stared at me curiously, so I stopped immediately so as not to let her think of me as admiring her beauty secretively.It was high time I showed another facet of myself. I had to show that she doesn’t mean anything to me. That she doesn’t interest me.I turned my back on her and headed to the fridge. I took what I needed then decided to leave the kitchen without saying a word. Even good night !I wanted her to perceive me as a harsh person. That night when I held her for a few seconds in my arms, my hand on her mouth. I felt a connection between us. I felt the look on her eyes when our eyes met. And there is something in the air. A crush, maybe.That is why it is better to pretend to be someone else as a way to protect myself from her and to get her far from me.I left the kitchen leaving her there by herself. I came back to my room. Carla was sleeping. I ate what I could then I slept.The moment my head was on the pillow, I’ve realized how fragile she was in my arms ; how beautiful she was to me ; I started realizing that I liked this girl more than I should.