Esperanza: When the Blue meets the Hazel

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Chapter 7

Amy

There he was ... looking at me ... I didn’t know what to do. I was naked. Completely naked and masturbating myself in front of that man. I looked toward the door ... then got up of the bed. I stepped toward it and opened the door. The idea of him looking at me masturbating excited me more and more. I didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted to be closer to him no matter what. I opened the door. There he was. He was looking at me with big eyes, not realizing what was happening ...We stood for a long moment looking at each other without uttering a word. He was looking at me from head to toe and same for me, too.

Then, he held my hand into his and directed it toward his chest. I was trembling. It was clear now that this man wanted me the way I wanted him. He desired me, I desired him as well. He was attracted to me. I was attracted to him as well. Our eyes were connected. He didn’t take off his eyes on me. Neither did I. He felt my trembling hand on his chest, so he directed it to his lips. I didn’t realize that Mr. Richardson was in front of me ... that I was naked ... that he was seeing me naked and masturbating ... that I was in front of him ... my hand in his ...What were we doing ? What happened to me?

His tongue was in one of my fingers. He was rolling it over and over my fingers which made me more excited.
- “Touch me” I said without realizing that I just said it.Without taking his eyes off me, he placed his other hand on my shoulder to my breasts, caressing them gently, then to my stomach, waving his hand sometime on the right side, sometime on the left side. He kept sucking gently my fingers with his tongue. My eyes were half closed. Then , I felt his two fingers thrusting into this part of mine between my legs. At that moment , I was getting hotter and wetter. I wanted him to take me to bed and make love to me. He held my hand and place it on his sex. I started making a hand job while he was busy getting me more and more excited. Suddenly, from the hall we heard footsteps. With his eyes, he let me know not to make any noise. He came into my room and we closed softly the door behind us. I was afraid. I didn’t know who she was. He held me in his arms.

- “don’t worry Amy ! I’m here ! Nothing can happen to us !”
I was leaning on his chest for the first time. I was hearing his heart beating over my ears. I was feeling warmer. I looked up at him. His eyes were desiring me. I could see that. He wanted me entirely.

- ” Mr. Richardson I .... don’t know what to say ...”

- “Say nothing ... You’re so ... beautiful Amy”

I blushed when he told me so. I couldn’t look more at him, so I headed down. He grabbed my chin and let me look at him once again

- “I want you Amy ... I really do !”

The moment our eyes met, I felt myself frozen, as if my limbs were unable to move; I felt so embarrassed...the thought of him catching me masturbating made me realize that he saw me naked, totally naked; For a moment U didn’t know what to think. Why did he do that? Why was he standing on my door, just watching me...but on a second thought, knowing that he was there made me smile, as I got convinced that this man was really into me. But wait, how come? How come a man of this age married to a woman like Mrs. Richardson would have such intentions towards me!?

Poor me ! yeah poor Amy ... that was my imagination. That was the way I imagined myself in that scene. That was the way I imagined him in that particular moment. I thought it would be so. I thought we would come along and kiss. I thought he would hug me that night. I thought he would kiss me passionately. I thought ... I just thought of many things that night. I shouldn’t have looked at him that night. I shouldn’t have turned my head toward the door .... I shouldn’t have ...
He got destabilized by me looking at him and turned around. He left. Maybe, he just didn’t realize I could catch him looking at me at my door. But I did and I shouldn’t have. That night, I was sad and somehow hopeful. Leaving me made me feel sad. I wanted him to stay and come in my room. We could have kissed, hugged and made love till the light of the dawn.
Seeing him watching me masturbating on my bed made me realize that he was, definitely, attracted by me. It was obvious now that he wanted me the way I wanted him and maybe more than I did, and knowing that made me so proud of myself, and so happy to know that he desired me so much to come to my own room and spend some time watching me. Was it the first time though? Or maybe the second or third? I did not know.
I wish I knew. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that I saw him watching me that night. I put on my underwear then slept tight. I just closed my eyes and started dreaming such a little girl.

I woke up the next morning as usual, dressed up, then headed to the bathroom for some light make up. I was excited to see him that morning. I thought it would be like all the other days.

After about a few minutes I was in the kitchen. Tiffany was there with Lisa waiting for me to have breakfast. There was no sign of Mrs. Richardson and no sign of Mr. Richardson. I couldn’t ask Lisa about her parents, that would be impolite and unacceptable.
So I focused only on eating my omelet and drinking my tea before heading to work.
I worked hard ... really hard that day. It was my first meeting with the whole team. I was really excited and I wanted to learn much from them. At noon, I decided to go to the vending machine to buy a snack because I was getting hungry and I had to wait another hour for eating my lunch. I got to the vending machine. There was a man standing in front of me. I had to wait for him to get what he wanted. Then came my turn. I was about to move when he turned around. It was Mr. Richardson. He was just in front of me.

- “Mr. Richardson !!” I said surprised. I started to blush more and more.

- “Amy ! Nice to see you ...” he said as our eyes met.

- “Thanks !”

We were stuck in front of the vending machine unable to have a normal conversation, maybe, because of what happened yesterday at night. It was awkward. He kept looking at me, smiling and not moving forward. I smiled too shyly.
But I had to keep on talking to him. I don’t know why. I could have just bought something from the vending machine and say goodbye, but I didn’t do that though. I was pleased to see him and so was he. It was obvious he was appreciating this moment between us.
His eyes were glimmering out of joy.

- “So what brings you at Philip’s ?”

It may seem as a silly question, but this was the only idea which came to my head. I didn’t know what to ask him, actually. I was really stuck and out of ideas. He laughed then said

“Actually I have a meeting. But with the big boss, Philip.” he smiled.

- “Ah you have a meeting with Mr. Johnson ! Sorry I shouldn’t have asked you that ! of course you’re on business !”

- ” It’s no big deal Amy ... I like when you engage a conversation with me ... I like talking to you”

He smiled at me again, then put his hand on my left arm as a gesture of reassurance.
I looked at him surprised, but at the same time I was feeling comfortable to know what he just told me and how he told me so.
- “Thank you sir”

- “You can call me Marvin ...” he teased.

I didn’t reply to what he just say. I cannot call him by his first name. That was impossible.
I cannot do so. He was older than me. He is Lisa’s father.
I was blushing more and more. He made me blush each time we met.

- “Okay Amy I got to go now. It was nice seeing you.”

- “Same here !”

- “Have a nice day !”

- “You, too”

- “Bye !”

- “Bye !” Then he left.

I stood looking at him heading to the elevator, looking at how much he was handsome, at the way he was walking, at how well-shaped his masculine body was.
It was Lisa’s voice which made me jump.

- “I was searching for you. Where have you been ?” she said worryingly.
- “I am here !”

- “What are you doing ?”

- “I just came to buy a snack from the vending machine !”

- “I don’t see anything in your hand !”

- “I... as you know I am... I am always indecisive.”

- “Amy, they need us over there ! Okay get something quick and come !”

- “Sure ! I’m on my way .... !”

Hopefully, Lisa didn’t see me with her father. I didn’t want her to see me alone with him. She was my friend and she could read through my eyes. It was clear that I was having a crush on Mr. Richardson. I blushed every time he came closer to me, every time he touches me, every time he looked deeply at me, every time he spoke to me ....
Oh God, why did I have a crush on my friend’s father? Why not Kyle? Kyle is older than me....he was the kind of guy I should be hanging out with and fall in love with. But I wasn’t falling for.
I was falling for Mr. Richardson.
What have I just said!?
He’s married Jeez! Okay, now I need really to go back to work. I cannot think much of that!


Late in the evening, Jason and Zoe came back from New Port Beach. I liked them. They were so cute together. They seemed in love ... totally in love.
Mrs. Richardson was preparing dinner. They decided to have dinner by the pool. The night was cool. We helped her preparing the dinner. Jason was outside speaking with Marvin.
I just decided that I would call him as well Marvin from time to time as he instructed ... whenever I wanted ...
I liked his name.
I was wearing a whitish dress with flip-flops. I was happy to be surrounded by such wonderful people ... happier because he was there.
We just prepared everything and had a sit when Kyle joined us. It was good to have him around. He sat next to me and kissed me on the cheek, whispering “I missed you baby”.
I smiled back at him and replied the same. I didn’t know why I told him so, but I felt I had to tell him so. We had fun eating and talking for about one hour. Mr. Richardson was looking at us, from time to time. I felt that he was uncomfortable seeing Kyle next to me. He was my boyfriend after all and I haven’t to justify this to anybody.
I had to move on with my life despite everything.
That was normal after what I went through. I needed to feel someone who really cared about me. Kyle was the perfect boyfriend, always texting me and checking up on me. I liked the way he took care of me ... for now. He was really into me. For my part, less than him. I liked him. No more.
After finishing dinner, Mrs. Richardson started cleaning up the dishes. We were about to help her, when Mr. Richardson told us he was going to.
From where we sat, we could watch the kitchen. We remained seated. We were having a pleasant conversation when Zoe pointed toward the kitchen and said “look at them ! how cute they are !”

All of us turned to the place she indicated and looked. Mr. and Mrs. Richardson were kissing in the kitchen. She was holding his face in her arms and kissing him.

- “They seem so in love !” Zoe said.

- “They are adorable !” Tiffany said.

- “Of course they are” Jason said proudly.

- “They’ve been married for more than twenty years and still so in love with each other ... that’s rare !” Zoe said.

Actually I couldn’t follow the whole conversation because I was away for a moment. I was thoughtful. I didn’t like what I was seeing. I didn’t like the way she was holding him and kissing him. I know she has all the rights to do that, but I didn’t like it. I know she was his wife. I was uncomfortable for sole reason.
I felt myself somehow disappointed and a little bit jealous.
Was he playing with me?
Coming to my room whenever he wanted, watching me secretively and then kissing her the way he should be doing it with me. Not her. I felt I was unimportant to him. That he didn’t care at all. Why did he tell me to call him by his first name this afternoon, then kissing his wife later?
Was he playing with me? What was he up to? It made me feel to some point upset and lost.
I had to hide what I felt. Kyle was sitting just next to me. I was with my friends and enjoying the time we were spending, but I was getting tenser.
Kyle looked at me worried and whispered in my ear
“is everything alright Amy?”

- “Yes ! I am fine, why wouldn’t I be? It’s just a busy day I feel somehow exhausted, that’s all !”

Deep down I didn’t like the grasp that Marvin had on me. I had to keep some distance from that man. Everything I did was the opposite. I needed to be near him. To feel him.
I needed to know that he would be nearby. It made me feel serene. I started not liking the way I am driven to this man. He makes me feel weaker.

After what I had just been seeing, I no longer wanted to be around him. I wanted him to leave me alone. I was getting jealous of Mrs. Carla Richardson even though I know she is his wife by law. All what was happening was getting on my nerves. I didn’t want him to mess with me. I was not a toy. His toy.

Whenever he wanted to get excited, he had just to come and watch me masturbate in my room. No.
I was an attractive young lady. I was a gorgeous girl desired by a few guys. Yes I was.
I was proud of who I was.
I refused to be manipulated.

Late at night we went out except Mr. and Mrs. Richardson. We went partying. I liked to dance. It made me feel free and joyful. The way I let my body sway on the rhythm of the vivid music.

This was what I did that night. It was Thursday. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to feel desired. Kyle was dancing in front of me. We were kissing each other as we danced. He embraced my hips with his arms. I liked the way he took care of me. We came late home that night. I had to sleep only for about four hours before going to the training. I was worn out. I went to my room, undressed myself, put on my nightly underwear and went to bed.

It was the sound of my alarm clock which made me awaken all of a sudden. The weekend was near. My first weekend in Santa Barbara.
Mr. Richardson was having his breakfast when I came in the kitchen. Mrs. Richardson wasn’t around. Maybe she was still asleep. Guess they had an unforgettable night yesterday with fireworks and lots of love.

I didn’t even want to think about it. Tiffany and Lisa were still preparing themselves.
- “Good Morning sir !” I said quietly.

- ” Amy ! Good morning !” he said enthusiastically. He just smiled at me. I smiled shyly back at him.
I wanted to drink a cup of coffee that morning. I needed to. Really needed to wake up.

- “Long night yesterday, huh?”

- “Yes. We had much fun.”

- “Glad to know you’re enjoying yourself”

- “It is a big town here. I really like it !”

- “What do you like about Santa Barbara?”

- “How people are. The atmosphere is cool and festive. I like that !”

- ” Are you still coming with us to Philip’s party in the coming days?”

- ” I don’t know sir ...”

- “I thought you were coming Amy?”

I remained silent. I didn’t reply.
- “I don’t know if I can come or not !” I finally replied.

- “Why are you saying that?”

- “He’s your friend. You will be going with all your family members. I am not ...”

- “You will go with us.”

- “But ...”

- “I want you to come. I want you to be with us ...”

For a moment, I didn’t want to believe him. But I did because he was speaking genuinely.
- “I...I will do my best sir !”

- “You will. I want you to come with all of us. It’s a party.” He insisted.

I smiled at him because he was insisting on my coming to the party with them. The party was to be thrown after more than a week. He seemed to be impatient to have me with them. I then started drinking coffee. Lisa and Tiffany came to the kitchen, greeted us and sat to eat pancakes with strawberry jam.

- “You want some?” Lisa asked.

- ” Just coffee for now !”

- “You don’t eat those days Amy !”

I rolled my eyes, I really don’t like how Lisa sometimes acts as if she was my own mother.
Nevertheless, she’s right. I don’t eat much. I eat whenever I got really hungry which happened sometime this week.

- “Are you alright Amy?” Mr. Richardson asked in a worried tone.

- “Yes, everything is fine sir. Thanks for asking.”

He just smiled, but looked worried about me. He left us and went upstairs. I decided to leave the girls and go to the restroom. I needed to brush my teeth another time before going to work.

I stood up in front of the mirror and kept looking at my face. I had a pale face that morning. I didn’t feel myself energetic. I had to go to work though. I washed my face two times then did a light make up.
I found the girls waiting for me in the big hall. We had only about twenty minutes to be at work.

- “Let’s go. She’s here” Tiffany said.

I was about to go out with them when I felt my head spinning. I felt a little bit dizzy and I needed to sit fo a short moment.

- ” Don’t wait for me girls. Just go. Will catch up later.”

- “Is everything okay with you? You seem pale?” Lisa asked.

- “I am fine. Don’t worry.”

I was feeling myself tired. I slept for about four hours. The girls seemed tired, too. I was more tired than them though.
- “How will you come? Gonna catch a cab?” Tiffany asked.

- “Yes. Go now you will be late”

- “Are you sure you can come by yourself?” Lisa asked.

- “Yes, I can. See you later girls.”

- “See you later Amy” Tiffany said.

- “Take care of yourself. See you later”.

They left. I was sitting on the sofa when Mrs. Douglas came to check up on me.
- “Ms. Morgan are you okay?”

- “Yes, I am fine. Don’t worry. I had to sit for a few minutes. My head is spinning a little bit. ”

- “Would you like a glass of water?”

- “It’s okay!”

- “Please do bring a glass of water to Amy, Mrs. Douglas.” he instructs.

His voice came from nowhere. He kneeled in front of me and placed his hand on my forehead to check up my temperature. I was fine. Nothing to worry about... Just a little bit tired. I wasn’t feeling myself sick. It is just fatigue that’s all. I needed to rest.

- “Amy you’d better go and lie on your bed. You look pale.” he said worryingly.

- “I am okay sir. I just need to rest for a few minutes that’s all.”

- ” You’re going to go to work later?”

- “Yes, I cannot miss work !”

- “I will call Philip and inform him that ...”
He was about to finish his sentence when I interrupted him saying

-“No, please don’t do that for me. I don’t want to miss work.”

I stood up suddenly. I felt myself a bit dizzy, but I was fine. Mrs. Douglas came back with the glass of water. She stood next to me. She was worried about me, too.

- “Thank you Mrs. Douglas. It’s kind of you” I said before she gave me the glass of water.

- “Get well miss”, she said then left immediately.

- “You’re still insisting to go to work this morning?”

- ” Yes I am. I have to.”

- “You’re really stubborn, aren’t you?”

I smiled and said
-“You don’t know how much I could be so obstinate when it comes to work!”

- “Okay...but I will let you go to work on one condition, though”

- “A condition? Which one?”

- “Let me give you a ride. Otherwise you won’t go to work today!” he commands.

- “I think I don’t have the choice ... so yes !” I gave him a weak smile.

- “Good. I will be outside in just two minutes.”

- “Thank you sir”

He headed to the kitchen to inform Mrs. Douglas that he was about to leave. I drank water then headed outside.

He was waiting for me in front of the car. As I just approached the door, he opened it for me and I came in. It was going to be the second time for us.
Alone ... in his car this time.
I felt he didn’t leave me any alternative to say no.

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