Esperanza: When the Blue meets the Hazel

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Chapter 8

MARVIN

It was such a bliss to share a moment with her.
We were in my car heading to Philip’s company. She seemed to be stressed a little bit. She kept looking at my fingers on the steering wheel while I was looking at her slim legs. She was wearing a navy dress that morning.
It was one of the rarest moment when we could be together; When we could spend some time in private. We had to spend about twenty minutes alone on the road. It was the perfect occasion to get to know her better. She was quiet all along the road. I had to make her feel more comfortable. I knew she was feeling at ease whenever I was around, but now it was different.

After what happened yesterday after we came back home, I guess it was the way she was feeling so.
- “I’ve never had the chance to ask you about your hometown. Tell me more about you ... where do you come from?”

- “I was raised in Summerland with my mom and grandparents. They were bakers. My grandparents passed away a few years ago.”

- “Sorry to hear that. You were so close to them I suppose.”

- ” Yes I was.”

- “What about your mother ?”

- “My mother lives in Phoenix, in Arizona. She is a doctor.”

- “I see. So you live with her there ?”

- “No, I don’t live with her. She lives with her husband. I don’t want to be with them...I like to have a place for myself”

- “Why not ?”

- “I don’t want to live with them that’s all.” she said exasperated.

- “Sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.”

- “I’m not upset. I just don’t want to talk much about my mother.”

I didn’t mean to seem very insistent on the matter, but I felt that there was something fishy turning around.
I looked back at her and said “What about your father? You haven’t mentioned him while speaking about your family...”

- “I’ve never known my biological father ... I mean all I know about him is that he lives in the state of California.”

- “I dont’t want to seem intrusive, Amy, but if you ever feel the need to search for your dad one day, I will help you find him. I promise Amy, I will.”

She didn’t realize what I was saying to her. I didn’t want to go into details about the reasons why her mother didn’t tell her the truth about her father. I didn’t want to be intrusive. That was very personal. I had to keep the conversation on though. I liked to listen to her soft voice speaking.
- “I heard from Lisa that you are good at accounting.”

- “Yes I like the accounting domain. I’ve always liked numbers since my childhood.”

- “I like the way you are Amy. You’re ambitious. I like ambitious and committed people.”

She blushed and thanked me before turning her head toward the window.
- “So I guess you dream of becoming an accountant?”

- “Yes I wanna work for big companies.”

- “I would be pleased to have you in my company ... I mean once you finish your studies.”

- “It’s as if you want to keep an eye on me Mr. Richardson. Am I right?”

She liked to challenge and provoke me. I liked it. I liked the way she tested me.
- “Why wouldn’t I?” I said in an evasive tone.

- “It was just an impression. This is what seemed to me.”

- “Should I consider that as a yes answer?”

- “Did I mention something like yes?”

I kept looking at her astonished at how, somehow, dared to decline such a job offer. She seemed to have a strong personality though she seemed young and inexperienced. She knew what she wanted. I was sure that she wouldn’t decline such an offer.
After all my company was among the best in California and other states in the United States. She seemed very challenging. I liked her more. I liked challenges. Still I’ve always wanted to be the winner and never the loser.

Amy and I were playing the game of catch me if you can. I liked playing that game where you have red limits and you feel the desire to transgress them, but you stop yourself from doing so because it is forbidden. She was my red limit. She was my challenge. I pulled over the car in front of the building, then went outside the car. I opened the car door for her.
- “Thank you so much Mr. Richardson for this ride ! I really appreciate it.”

- “Call me Marvin, Amy ! I’m not that old, aren’t I?” I teased her.

She laughed then said “I will think about it for next time”
she winked at me and smiled.
I smiled back at her and saw her heading toward the entrance.

She was such a lovely young woman. Surprising. Fresh. Irresistible.
She was provoking me in a subtle way. I liked how she seduced me. She’s started to driving me crazy. I liked being with her. I felt myself young and limitless, but I had always to remember that I cannot go forward. There were red limits. I was married. I’ve got children. I was responsible for my family. I was older than her.

All these reasons prevented me from being closer to Amy. Still there was something which always drove me to her despite all those constraints; it was the way I was attracted to her. I couldn’t resist her. That was uncontrollable. I couldn’t stop myself from getting closer to her. I couldn’t stop myself from floating in the wild wind.


It was late afternoon when I received a call from Lisa informing me that I had to come immediately to Philip’s company. Amy fainted and fell on her desk. This was all what she told me.
I canceled my appointments and hurried to where they were. I realized that I was driving fast from my office till Philip’s company. I was really worried about her. I kept blaming myself for not being stricter with her.

I shouldn’t have let her leave my house this morning. I should have obliged her to stay at home and get some rest.
I arrived ten minutes later and headed directly to the accounting department. I was welcomed by some employees. The moment they saw me they stepped back and left some space for me to walk till the front office. I opened the door and entered. In the office, there was Lisa and a middle-aged man. Amy was lying on the couch. She seemed very tired and dizzy.
- “Is she alright? What happened to her?” I said worringly.

- “Dad ! Hopefully you’re here ! I don’t know she was fine the whole day then she didn’t feel herself well and fainted earlier !”

- “Mr. Richardson, I’m Quentin Russel, the Accounting manager’s assistant.”

- “Hello! ”

- “I was with Lisa and Amy when all this happened. Just to tell you that the doctor’s just left. They told us that she had to rest for three days and gave her this prescription. She had to do a medical check-up”

- “Thank you. I see. Yes we will take care of her. That’s thoughtful of you, Quentin”

- “I got to go now. Get well Amy. See you later Lisa. Goodbye Mr. Richardson”
The man said and left the room.

- “Dad, I am really worried about her.”

- “Lisa, darling, everything will be fine. She will be fine. It’s just fatigue, I guess. I will take her back home.”

- “Okay dad. Thanks.”

I will call Thomas to come here in case you need to be driven back home.

Thomas was my personal chauffeur. Actually, he drives Carla to work every day. I didn’t need him to drive me to my work or other places, because I liked driving cars. So he was more Carla’s driver and sometimes Lisa’s than mine.

- “No dad, no need for Thomas to come here. I can drive back home alone. I will be fine, don’t worry about me. It’s just that I got really worried for her.”

- “As you wish sweetheart.”

Lisa kneeled and whispered something in Amy’s ear.

I came closer and carried Amy in my arms. She couldn’t walk by herself. She was so weak. Her face was very pale. She looked at me hazily.

Her hazel eyes were half open. She placed her arms around my neck and closed her eyes. Lisa opened the door for me. I left the room and headed till the elevator. I got help from one security guard to lead the way till my car. I put her on the back seat then drove back home.

I called Carla to check up on her and informed her about Amy. She got worried and told me that we should inform her mother.
I didn’t reply in the first place. Then I told her that we should first call the doctor, Mrs. Jenna O’Brian to come and check her up. She agreed.
I pulled over the car in front of the garage. I called Mrs. Douglas and informed her to open Amy’s bedroom’s door. I went back to Amy and carried her another time. She was once again in my arms. She was so feeble and powerless. I felt I had to protect her and not to leave her by her own. I came in the house and headed directly to her room where I placed her on her bed. Mrs. Douglas took care of her.

I left her room and went to the living room to call Jenna. Jenna was the family doctor.
Carla’s sister, Helen was married to Jacob O’Brian. Jenna was Jacob’s sister. She was a doctor. Jenna came after about thirty minutes. During that time, Carla went back home. She was really worried about Amy. So was I.

We were waiting in the living her while Jenna was in Amy’s bedroom checking up on her. Carla kept telling me that we should inform her mother.

- “Let’s see first what Jenna will tell us about her health. Maybe it is just a flu.”

- “Marvin ! She’s under our responsibility. We have to call her mother.”

- ” I don’t know .... We shouldn’t be rushing over calling her mother”

- “What ? You’re acring weird! What’s the deal if we call her !?”

- “It’s no big deal. But I just thought we shouldn’t worry her mother. She lives far from here, I guess.”

- “Yeah I know. She lives in Phoenix. She is her mother though and she should know. Amy is her daughter !”

- “You’re right Carla ... do you have her phone number?”

- “No, I don’t, but Lisa does. We’ve got to wait for her to come back first.”

We were talking about informing Amy’s mother when Jenna came into the room. We stood up at the same time to listen to what she was about to tell us.
- “Is she feeling better?” Carla asked.

- “Well, she needs to rest. She really needs to take days off and rest a lot.”

- “Does this have anything to do with work ?”

- “Partly yes ... what you should know is that Amy has anorexic symptoms ... she might be anorexic.”

- “Oh god ! Poor girl !” Carla said in a low voice.

I was feeling lost to know that. It was true, she didn’t eat much those days.
- “She is not feeding herself as she should be. So those days, she needs to get some healthy food, otherwise I had to get her to the hospital !” Jenna said.

- “What causes anorexia ? I mean she is a cheerful young woman.”

- “There are many factors. I think it has more to do with something traumatizing that she had lived some time ago. Do you know her parents?”

- “No, we don’t” Carla said looking at me.

- “I advise you to call her mother as soon as possible. I think she misses her mother.” Jenna said, concerned.

- “Yes, we will.”

- “Her mother is a doctor.” I said.

- “How do you know that?” Carla looked at me, surprised and said.

- “Good to know. I really need to see her and know about Amy’s health.” Jenna said in relief.

I didn’t reply to Carla. It wasn’t the time. We thanked Jenna for coming. She told us she will come tomorrow to check up on her.

- “How do you know that Amy’s mother is a doctor?” she said again, but this time with a suspiscious look.

- “She told me this morning when I asked her about her parents.”

- “I see. Poor girl. What Lisa told me is that she hasn’t seen her mother for one year now.”

I was surprised to know that. I thought the last time she saw her mother was about a few months ago ... but one year. It meant that they weren’t getting along with each other. We waited till Lisa came back home. Carla asked her to give her the phone number of Amy’s mother. She did so even though she was hesitant at the beginning, which made me feel more suspicious about what might be going on in Amy’s family. I couldn’t ask my daughter why, she wouldn’t tell me. It was her friend after all.

Carla called Amy’s mother, and informed her about Amy’s health. I was standing right next to her.
- “She informed me she will come as soon as she can.” she told me after hanging up the phone.

- “We will wait for her then.”

- “She seemed really worried !”

- “That’s perfectly understandable she is her mother ! All we can do for now is to take care of Amy and wait for her mother to come !”

That evening, Carla and Lisa took care of Amy. They made her some vegetable soup. She barely ate. She said she couldn’t swallow anything. She wanted to sleep. I was worried, really worried about her. I couldn’t go to her room. I had to wait for the night to come to go and check up on her.

Amy’s mother called Lisa and informed her that she would come tomorrow morning to our house and check up on Amy.

I called Philip and informed him about Amy’s health and that she was going to be absent for about a week. At about eleven, everyone went to his room. We really got worried about Amy. Everyone was tired. I told Carla I had to finish working on some files for tomorrow morning and that I was going to be in my office. I went to my office and started to work on some files for about half an hour, then I got really tired and needed to go to sleep. I thought I had to check up on her before going upstairs.
I opened her door and she was sleeping.
I came closer to her. Something was pushing me to get closer to her, watching her as she was sleeping, and finally let my hand caress her sandy hair. She was still sleeping. She was mumbling some words in her sleep... all I could grasp was my name “Marvin ...”
She was dreaming of me...I smiled, then kissed her forehead and left the room.

That morning, Carla and Lisa stayed near Amy. I canceled my morning appointments. Carla wanted to wait for Amy’s mother to come and Jenna arrived after some time to check up on Amy.

After about half an hour, Mrs. Douglas informed us that two visitors were waiting for us in the living room. We welcomed them warmly. There was a brunette woman holding a baby girl in her arms and there was a man with her. I guessed he was Amy’s step-father. Then we all went to Amy’s room. Amy was lying on the bed. Lisa was sitting on the bed talking to her when we entered. I saw joy and hope in Amy’s eyes when she saw her mother. She missed her so much. Lisa took the baby girl. Mona and Amy hugged each other. They were crying out of joy. The man didn’t move further. He just said hi to her. I could feel fear and disgust in Amy’s eyes when he talked to her. She wasn’t feeling comfortable when seeing him as was my daughter.

Amy was happy to see her baby-sister. It seemed to me that it was the first time she saw her. The baby smiled back at her.

After a while, Mona Morgan asked us to leave the room so that Jenna and she could talk to Amy in private about her health. We all left the room. Lisa was holding the baby in her arms. We headed then to the living room. I wanted to know more about Amy’s step-father, Jim. Why was Amy afraid of him? What did he do to her? What happened exactly? We were talking in the living room when Kyle arrived. He was really worried about Amy. Lisa stood up and informed him about Amy’s health. She told him not to go to her room because the doctor and Amy’s mother were there. There was something in her step-father’s eyes telling me that he didn’t treat her well. That Jim was a mysterious man with multiple facets. I could feel that. I wanted to know what really happened. Why was she afraid of him?

There was something that Amy wasn’t telling me, hiding from me and I needed to know what it was. After that came Jenna and Mona Morgan to the living room. Mona informed us that Jenna was right. Amy could be anorexic because she has been losing weight and was thinner than before. That it could be the cause of many factors, she might be having a hyperthyroïdie. Yet since she didn’t want to eat much that period, Amy needed to do some tests to be sure what she was having. She told us that it was preferable to get Amy back to Phoenix where she could take care of her daughter.

I just saw in Lisa’s eyes panic and concern. She didn’t like the idea at all. She gave the baby girl to Carla, then went to Amy’s room. Kyle was stuck with us in the living room. He wished to go but couldn’t leave.

I had to know what was going on. I told Carla that I had to check something in the office then come back. My office was near the guest part. I went directly to Amy’s room. The door was closed. I eavsdropped on the girls talking.
I must admit that I couldn’t prevent myself from eavesdropping on them.
“Please Lisa, don’t let them take me. I don’t want to go to Phoenix.” That was Amy’s voice.
She was crying. I got more worried and more concerned.

I decided to knock on the door when Lisa showed up in front of me. She looked surprised at first, and I felt that I wasn’t welcome to come in. Surely, she didn’t want me to see Amy sobbing.

- “Is Amy alright ? I just came to check up on her !”

- “Dad, please ... can you help us!” she said, concerned and embarassed at the same time.

- “Let him in, Lisa !” I could hear her voice from inside the room.

- “What’s going on Lisa?”

- “She doesn’t want to go back to Phoenix !”

- “But her mother told us that she had to take care of her !”

- “I know that her health is in danger. She wants to stay here with us.”

- “I will help you Lisa ! I will try to do what I can to keep Amy with us. But I need to know why. Why doesn’t Amy want to come back to her mother’s house? ”

I looked at Lisa, then at Amy to try to unravel the hidden mystery, but none of them answered. They remained silent.

Amy wanted to stay with us. With me. She couldn’t bear being far from us. From me. I had to do what I could to keep her with us. With me.
When I came into the room she was crying. I didn’t understand why she was crying. It was maybe in relation with her stepfather or another thing that I didn’t know.

- ” Dad can you stay with her for a while, going to bring Kyle in here. He wants to see her.”
Lisa begged me, and knew I wouldn’t be asking her again about the reason why Amy didn’t want to come back to Phoenix.

- “Yes, go. I’m with Amy.” I said in a calm tone.

She closed the door and left the room. We were another time alone. In her bedroom this time.

- “Amy, look at me ! I won’t let them take you ! you listen to me...” I said trying to comfort her.

- “But they will. I don’t want to come back to Phoenix!”

- “Why Amy? What happened in Phoenix ?” I ask again, this time trying to get her answer my question; as a second attempt to understand what is really going on

- “I cannot take it anymore ... I cannot tell you !” she shakes her face, and hides it between her hands.

- “Trust me Amy ! I can help you if I just know what happened !”

- “No you can’t !”

- “Okay... Please just calm down. No one is going to take you back to Phoenix. ” I said in a low voice, trying to comfort her.

- “Marvin .... Please don’t let them take me away from you ... I don’t want to go away”

It was the very first time she uttered my first name “Marvin”. Maybe because of panic ... I don’t know. I was surprised, but at the same time happy. I couldn’t let them take her away from me.

She grabbed my hands. She didn’t stop crying and saying “Please Marvin...help me !”

I sat on the edge of the bed next to her, and held her in my arms “it’s okay Amy ...I won’t let them take you ... I promise ... look at me ... Amy ... look at me ...”

For a short moment, she stopped crying and looked at me.
- “I said I promise I won’t let them take you ... I don’t want you to leave me either ... Amy ... I need you .... baby”

The words came accidentally out of my mouth, naturally ... spontaneously ... I didn’t realize what I was saying to her ... how I called her “baby”.
We kept looking at each other for a brief moment, then our lips met through a soft kiss. I was kissing her lips. She was kissing mine. We were kissing each other without realizing what was happening to us at that very moment.
At the beginning it was a soft kiss, then it became passionate. I held her neck in my right hand and pulled her closer to me.
I was lost, so lost kissing her... so lost in her, I couldn’t understand what was happening to me ... to us ... at that moment.
Was it the fact that we were both vulnerable at that moment?

For her part, it was because she didn’t want to leave my house; As for my part, well... it was because I didn’t want her to go away.

I could feel her burning desire while she was kissing me. It was clear that she desired me the way I desired her, but I desired her more than she did.

I really did.The kiss was becoming more and more passionate when I let my tongue softly yet unexpectedly into her mouth. Her tongue met mine. And we were rolling our tongues in a soft, then a hard, then a soft, then a hard dance. She was following the movement of my tongue enrolled with hers. I was guiding her through a sensual dance.
I wanted her. Yes I wanted that woman. I wanted her so bad.

This time I transgressed the red limit and I didn’t feel bad about it. On the contrary, I enjoyed what I was living. Our souls were travelling throughout the passion of this deliberate kiss when we heard Lisa’s and Kyle’s voices approaching the room.
I stood up immediately and stepped back from her when they came in.

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