Chapter 1: Sweet Everlasting Memories
I stood still while looking at myself in the mirror. My wedding dress was to die for. Any woman would fight to be in my shoes. After all not only was I wearing a one of a kind wedding dress but I was marrying the nations most charming Bachelor. Wasn't I lucky? Shouldn't I be happy?
No matter how much I tried to think positively about what I was getting myself into. I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Every tender touch every lovely word every sweet gesture I couldn't erase it from my mind. If only it was possible to one day wake up and forget the person you devoted yourself too so dearly. However each passing day only reminded me about those sweet loving memories I spent by his side.
If I can wake up from this nightmare and see his face one more time. I would hold onto him and never let go. Though destiny had different plans for us Landon Roman will forever be the only man I ever love. Even if Cedric Wesley is finally making me his Wife. He will NEVER own my heart.
*THREE YEARS EARLIER*
"Will ya stop moving! I'm almost done!"
"You said that a while ago! I don't know how I let you convince me to do this"
"Because you looooveee meee!"
"Ha..I won't argue with that"
"There all finished! Now you can open your eyes my love"
I tried so hard not to laugh as I watched his face turn redder than a tomato. I was bored watching him play his stupid video game all afternoon. So I decided to have a little fun and waited for my turn to come. As soon as he put his control down and gave his attention to me. I decided to force him into letting me do whatever I wanted to his face as punishment.
Feeling guilty that he had basically ignored me all day he agreed. Which was a huge mistake from his part but a sweet vengeful victory from mine. "Oh so you think you're funny?" He said with a grin forming on his face. I knew what he was thinking of doing so I quickly hopped out of bed and made a run towards the door. He launched himself at me and with his body being two times bigger than mine he managed to pull my body down with him.
We fell on-top of each other as he kissed me all over my neck and cheeks. I couldn't prevent him from leaving dark red lipstick marks all over me. After all I had it coming after making him look like a complete clown with my make up. "Stop it Landon! If my parents see me this way they'll think I turned lesbian!". He laughed out-loud while pinning my arms down so I wouldn't be able to move.
"Jade Carter..You're the most sexiest lesbian I have ever seen" he said right before leaning in for a kiss. I felt his grip loosen so after he let go I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued to kiss his sweet lips.
Gosh how I loved moments like these they were always the sweetest. Until his hothead friend shows up and ruins it.
"Ah..Not again..Get a room will ya?"
Deven Lorenzo his former best-friend almost brother. Him and I go way back actually. His brother and I use to date. Until he passed away due to a tragic car accident. We never really talk about it. Heck we barely even cross words with each other. He never confirms my suspicion but I am almost certain that he blames me for his brothers death.
That night was the worst I had ever lived. I can't forget or forgive myself for what happened either. Though I never tell him since he can barely look at me. I too blame myself for the accident and I never really moved on from it. Even when Deven thinks I did by hooking up with Landon two years later.
How could I fully move on from a three year relationship with someone who was an extraordinary sweet loving soul? Darian Lorenzo was my first crush my first love and my very first kiss. Each passing day by his side were full of goofy laughter sweet kisses and unforgettable moments.
Until one fateful night where my life changed forever. If I hadn't asked him for a kiss while we drove back from a movie. If only I had waited for a red light..I would've felt his lips on mine every single day and night. Instead I was left with one last kiss from his sweet tender lips before he crashed onto another car and lost his life. I killed the love of my life. I was responsible and Deven never made me forget it.
It wasn't until College when I met Landon. We became partners for a project and even though we couldn't really stand each other at first. We began to feel a strange urge of wanting to see one another constantly. Until we ran out of excuses and decided to become friends. Well it didn't last long. Playful shoves turned into sexy pin-downs. What began as friendly smiles soon after turned into flirtation.
We became addicted to each other and it was until then I was able to smile again. With Landon I felt alive and that old me that thought love would never come knock on my door again..Well I buried her. Landon taught me to forgive myself and move on. He was my anchor and my motive to continue with my life. Yet my happiness was short lived again one late evening.
We both had gotten invited to a party a friend of his was throwing. Everything was going by smoothly. We danced made out and danced some more. I felt like a free bird ready to spread her wings and fly. Until Landon introduced me to his best friend. Our relationship was put to the test after that night.
Seeing Deven once again was like looking at Darian. They both looked a like so much that it crushed me. I lost control of my senses again and depression hit me all over. Just when I thought I had finally moved on I felt like a complete wreck again. Even in my worst times Landon never once left my side. No matter how many times I wanted him out of my life. He was stuck on me like glue and I learned to love that about him.
"We are inside a room dumbass"
"Yeah well this is our room remember?..Go get a hotel or something"
I quickly stood up and fixed my hair. Giving Landon a look with my eyes for us to leave he decided to instead hold me tight as he spoke. "Have I said how lucky I am to have the sexiest most loving girlfriend and a friend that is like a brother to me that I love to death?". I raised my head to look at Deven who was surprisingly smiling back at Landon. However he quickly frowned once he noticed I was staring.
"I'm serious..If you both want to get freaky do it elsewhere" Hearing his annoyed tone made me instantly grab my things and walk out. Still standing near the door I was able to overhear Landon question Deven.
"Bro why are you such a dick when she's around?"
"You know how I feel about her alright?"
"I get it..But I live here too so I don't want her feeling uncomfortable because of you"
"So you want me to move out!?"
"No! I just want you to cool it down when Jade is around..I love both of you man..Just take it easy on her will you? She did her time of feeling like shit..Don't make it harder for her"
"Yeah well that's not gonna bring my brother back is it?"
"Well blaming the entire world sure isn't either..He's gone but you're still here..Don't beat yourself down when you know he would want you to live your life to the fullest no exceptions"
"It's not as easy as you're making it out to be"
"It never will be..But blaming Jade for his death will only make it impossible for you to move on..Give her a chance and you'll see that's the key you need to find your peace"
Silent tears ran down my face as I heard them talk. I couldn't blame Deven for feeling that type of way towards me. Even when I tell Landon I have forgiven myself..I really haven't. Deep down I still feel responsible for causing Darians death and that is something I will never move on from. No matter what.