Hi guys, thank you for your interest in my book (s). This one is for all the insecure teenagers that have or had hard times once a while. I was also one of those when I was younger.
My self-esteem has been growing over the years, so I know that there are better days to come. This is a romantic love story for sensitive folks. I’ll think for adults, it’s going to be a mind opener.
Please know English isn’t my birth language, so I’m doing the best I can to write proper English, and I’ve to admit it’s tough 😉
Please enjoy your reading time and let your imagination flow through the chapters.
I look out of my bedroom window, an enormous sigh escaping me. Tomorrow I have a huge test from miss Gretchen. Sometimes I think she dislikes me. She always smiles at Sidney, the popular girl, encouraging her to ask questions, and when I want to ask something she dismisses it by attempting to avoid my gaze. I’m so relieved to know she won’t be teaching us next year.
I’ve to pull myself together for another two years and then I’m out, taking a new tremendous step to college. I want to go to Columbia high. My dream job would insist on helping other people. Becoming some counselor would be awesome. First, I need to gain more confidence about who I am. As a small, skinny teen, it’s sometimes hard that people notices me. Boys never watch me. Even miss Gretchen ignores me.
I hope my body will grow more feminine because I hate my body as it is right now. Skinny, fragile Sofia Santos, a total nobody.
I’m smart, but not the smartest at all. That title would go to my best friend, Miley. She’s a natural in languages. I’m more the nerdy type. Math is one of my favorite ones. Or history, that’s great too. My phone lights up with another text from Miley.
OMG, I have some tremendous news. Tom Carity has invited me over to his place. They are throwing a gigantic party at his parents’ place this Saturday. Guess what, Michael Davis will be there !!!
I roll with my eyes. Miley has a huge crush on the most popular guy from school. Who doesn’t? Michael Davis is tall, well-build for his age. Not to mention his perfect white teeth and astonishing light blue eyes. His black, curly hair always wild on his forehead.
He’s very sexy for sure. I can’t blame Miley though. When he enters the room, all the girls watch him as a hawk would do with its prey. I think he’s gorgeous, but I’m more of a realist. I know he won’t ever date one of the plain girls at school.
Yesterday Sidney was sitting on his lap like a puppy. It makes me sick looking at them sometimes. I sigh again, letting myself fall flat on the mattress.
Sometimes I think I was born in another century. I can’t understand my fellow peers. Partying, drinking, having random sex, like there isn’t anything else in life that’s important. Even Miley wants to party now.
I pick my phone beside me, thinking about a suitable response to Miley’s cheerful text.
Great for you Miles!
I answer her shortly. After two seconds, I received another text.
You’re coming with me, Sofia. I asked Tom and you could come too, isn’t that awesome!!!!
Great...!!! Not... I really don’t want to go. I love to dance, but not with those people. They are rich, always looking down on others. They would probably laugh at my cheap clothing.
Sorry, can’t come. I have to look after Cody...
I quickly text her, knowing she won’t back off when she’s got the opportunity of a lifetime for her. She’s always dreaming about him or stalking him through Facebook or Instagram. It’s a little sad, knowing he won’t even notice her nor talk to her.
You’re not bailing on me, Sofia! Your parents don’t go out on a Saturday. You can’t play me with this excuse!!!
I sigh and rub my eyes, feeling tired instantly. She won’t let this go for sure. No matter what excuse I’ll come up with, it’s hopeless with a friend like Miley.
Alright, I’ll come with you only this time, Okay?
I already regret my answer. My therapist says it would be a good thing to surround myself more with classmates, so she will be proud of me.
Mom and dad thought it would be better to go to a therapist with me because of my lack of confidence and communication skills. I always had to make lots of efforts to fit in, to be one of them. I’m on the verge of being happy with the small number of people in my life. Getting to know people I don’t know stays difficult for me. I only have opened up my heart to let Miley in. She knows the real me. I grow quiet in crowded spaces, but when I’m alone, I can be loose and fun. She’s the only one who understands me and tries to push me when it’s needed. She’s great and such a beautiful, smart girl. I always thought she could date everyone she wants, but she has such high standards. Miley doesn’t see how Tom always eyes her, she only notices Micheal.
Suddenly my phone buzzes with an incoming text.
Oh god, I love you. Thanks, Sofia! See ya in the morning!
I quickly text her a few emojis back. It’s our secret code to communicate with each other. When we were thirteen, we thought it would be cool to create a code that only the both of us could understand. Sometimes we use it, but now we’re older we don’t use it that often anymore.
I glance at my textbook and then look outside, seeing it has already turned dark. I’m so tired, feeling my body relax a little more after crawling under the sheets. I pick up my book and look through it one last time before tossing it on the ground.
Miss Gretchen be nice for once and ask the things I studied the hardest.
The next day I had to make breakfast for me and my brother. Mom and dad were already off for work. I’m used to it by now. When I was younger, I couldn’t understand why other parents make a nice breakfast for their kids, eating at the same table as you see in the movies. Now, I know my parents would do anything to have such moments with us. They need to work hard for the money and now they know I want to go to college they are working late to get a better paycheck.
Sometimes I feel guilty about it, but my therapist insists it’s an excellent choice. You need to follow your dreams and your parents will help you with the money because that’s what parents do for their children. The rest is up to you, she always explained to me.
Mom already made our lunchboxes like she always does. The only thing I need to do is make sure Cody takes the bus on time and that’s the most hard part, unfortunately.
“Cody!!!” I yell in the kitchen. “The bus leaves in fifteen minutes!!!” I add. “You don’t need to shout every morning, Sofia. I have ears, you know!” He hisses after a few minutes while seating himself in front of me. “If you had listened the first time, I didn’t need to shout again and again,” I tell him in annoyance. He eyes me and shakes his head in disbelief. Taking a huge bite of my sandwich, I see Cody texting a little too rough with his thumbs on the screen. “Something wrong?” I question him after I swallowed a large piece at once. “No,” He answers shortly. I brush it off and make my way back to the bathroom for a quick look at my teeth.
I always brush my teeth before breakfast, not wanting to forget to brush them. I need to check if there’s nothing between them and I would make fun of myself at school. Cody hasn’t eaten his two sandwiches that I’ve made, and I knit my eyebrows in confusion. Cody can eat like an adult, and he just loves food. Now he’s in his puberty he only eats more and more. “Don’t Sofia, I wasn’t hungry that’s all.” He says firmly before I could say a thing about it. I quickly toss the leftovers in the dumpster, placing the plates in the sink, and put on my thin coat. I always get too warm on the bike and I don’t want to smell like a pig in class, so a thinner coat will be perfect to wear today.
“Cody, are you ready, so I can close the door?” I question him. “Yes,” he replies, hurrying out of the door with his backpack on its back. “See you later, sis.” He tells me before heading off in the bus's direction. “Strange boy,” I murmur to myself while taking my bike out of the garage.
Cody goes to the same school as me, but almost all his friends take the bus, so that’s the reason he wants to be lazy than to go on his bike. I take a good, comfortable rhythm and make my way to school. My thoughts going crazy about the test. I need to succeed this test or I’ll feel like a total failure.