His tongue parted my lips as I snaked my arms around him, pulling him closer to me as he hovered over my body; which was pale in comparison to his in the moonlight.
I kissed him back, rougher. Harder.
He groaned when I started to suck on his tongue, trailing his kisses down to my neck. Soft at first, then nipping and biting harder.
I was nervous to the point I was almost shaking and when he popped the button on my jeans, his rough fingers trailing along my panties, tugging them down, my fingernails dug into his back.
The voices in my head were arguing with each other.
Just tell him.
He’s seventeen, he knows what he’s doing. Don’t be a baby and ruin it.
Against his lean, hardened muscle, I pushed back lightly.
“I uhm...I’m a virgin.” It was almost a whisper, and I turned my face to hide underneath my black hair.
He pulled back, looking at me.
“You’ve...you’ve never been touched by a guy before?”
I shook my head.
“Fuck me.” He muttered, before pulling my panties down, and more gently with his fingers this time- touched me.
Between my legs.
Where no other guy had been.
I gasped when they brushed against my soft, wet skin.
He nudged my legs open, splaying around him as he settled in between them.
My heart was beating so fast I wondered if he could hear it.
Pressing a kiss to my forehead, and then slid inside me.
My mouth popped open at the stinging sensation and I gripped onto his arms.
“You okay, baby?” He asked, pulling back.
His rhythm got easier and smoother and soon enough I felt my muscles tensing and clenching around him.
I looked up at him, my sun and stars-one of the most notorious drug dealers, holding me in his arms.
“I love you.” I murmured into his chest.
He was bad- a gang member, a hitman, a drug dealer. The sane part of my brain told me to run, but this was the hood. For once in my left, in his arms I felt safe.
Even if it was just for a moment.
One year later...
“Please don’t go.” It was a sharp cry that came from my mouth, tears spilling down my cheeks.
He shook his head, unable to meet my eyes. “I have to. This won’t work. I can’t be with you.”
“Please, please don’t leave me.” I tried to move, but I couldn’t. My body was paralyzed and my throat burned when I tried to speak. “I love you.”
“I’m sorry.” He shrugged, cold and emotionless. “I can’t do this. I’m no good, you shouldn’t be in this lifestyle. I won’t ever let you become like this. Selling drugs, pulling guns. I can’t- you don’t belong here.”
It was an empty apology as he turned his back and walked away from me; as I felt the ground shift underneath my feet.
My hand gripped at my chest, like he had ripped it out and taken it with him, leaving me as nothing but a corpse. A broken promise of what could have been.
“Please don’t leave me.” I cried, falling to the ground.