~ 16 ~
It’s Saturday night and I am driving over to my parents house with Trey for dinner. I haven’t heard anything from Miles since he walked away from my apartment a few days ago. I’m nervous about seeing him tonight.
Trey’s laughter bellows through the car and he has tears running down his cheeks.
“Are you serious?” he manages to get out.
“Yes!” I tell him.
“So, you should be trying to stop thinking about Miles in a sexual way and now you tell me you think you both need to sleep with each other in order to do that?”
“It makes sense.” I yell.
“To your pussy, it might. But to the brain, baby, no way!”
“Shut up, Trey.” I slap him on the arm as I turn the corner into my parent’s street.
“Sorry, okay, okay. Give me second.” He holds up his forefinger in an attempt to calm down. “I guess I can kinda see where you’re coming from. It will either work and you will both know that it was pure attraction and the whole forbidden desire situation and once you’ve had your night of passion you will go your separate ways, your father none the wiser. Or….”
“Don’t say it.” I tell him sternly.
“Or it will backfire completely, and you will both be up shits creek. But at least you will be together, right?”
“Ahhhhh!!! It’s too complicated.” I wail pulling into the driveway.
“Life is complicated, babycakes.” Trey says before getting out of the car and coming around to open my door for me.
“Ever the gentleman.”
“You know it. Now keep it in your pants tonight.” He tells me while stifling a giggle.
“Shut up! I’m not going to sleep with him here! I don’t know if I will anyway. I’ll just try to avoid him for now.”
“Yeah right.” Trey rolls his eyes at me as he opens the front door, letting me in first.
“Avoiding him is going to be hard for you.” He leans in and whispers in my ear.
He’s right. Avoiding Miles is going to be near impossible. He’s standing right there in the hallway staring at me. I rake my eyes over his body and shiver in delight at the sight of him. He’s wearing jeans and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled halfway up his arms. I can see the muscles in his forearms, and I can feel myself get hot. Fuck.
“Hey Miles, good to see you again.” Trey extends his hand and I snap out of my daydream as the two shake hands.
“Yeah, you too man.” Miles smiles.
“I’ll ah, just go and find Claudia.” Trey says and leaves Miles and I alone in the hallway.
“Beth, you look stunning.” Miles tell me.
“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.”
We are staring at each other, neither one of us speaking. We seem to be lost in an intense battle. Both looking into each other’s eyes. Miles steps forward and grabs my hand, opening the front door he leads me outside and around to the side of the house. My heart is pounding. He stops abruptly and backs me into the brick wall placing his arms next to my head. In seconds his lips are on mine, his tongue in my mouth. Yes! Kissing Miles is fast becoming my favourite thing. He kisses me with an urgent need and I kiss him back with just as much need. He puts his knee in between my legs, forcing them to open. I moan into his mouth and wrap my arms around his waist to pull him in closer.
Suddenly, he pulls away and I open my eyes, confused.
“Fuck!” he whisper shouts, running his hands through his hair.
“Sorry.” I apologise, but I’m not sure why.
“Don’t be. I grabbed you. I told myself not to be alone with you tonight.”
“I had a similar plan.” I laugh.
“The second you walked in, I just couldn’t control myself.”
I don’t reply to him because I don’t really know what to say. Is now the right time to tell him what Courtney said about getting it out of our system? I don’t know. I’ve never had to have this conversation with someone before. Miles rests his forehead on mine, and I squeeze him tighter.
“We should go back in before your parents notice we are missing.” He says, pulling away and adjusting his groin.
Smirking, I agree and push myself off the wall, following him back in the house.
“Beth, where did you go?” my dad asks as we enter the house.
“Um, I just needed Miles to have a look at something on my car.”
“Oh, Miles is not really mechanically minded darling, I can book it in to the mechanics for you if you like?”
“Thanks dad, that would be great.” It needs a service anyway and if dad’s offering to pay, why not?
“Come on, your mums waiting for you. Her and Trey are comparing nail polish colours.” Dad rolls his eyes and I laugh; of course they are.
After dinner, we all decide to take our drinks out to the pool deck. It’s a beautiful, balmy evening and I as I lie on the recliner by the pool, I can see the twinkling of many stars in the sky. It’s really beautiful. I don’t often take the time to appreciate this, I’m usually working indoors. I close my eyes and listen to the conversations going on around me. Mum and Dad are talking about where they are going on holidays this year. Mum wants to stay at the beach and dad wants to venture into the mountains. It’s a discussion they have every year and they always end up at the beach. My ears prick up at the mention of my name and I strain to hear what is being said. It’s Trey talking to Miles about me.
“Dude, you’re playing a dangerous game. I promised myself I wouldn’t say anything. But I can’t sit and watch this shit storm unravel. This family is far too important to me.” I can just make out what Trey says.
“I appreciate the concern Trey, but I don’t think we should be discussing this here.” Comes Miles’ reply.
“Fine. I’m just giving you some friendly advice.” Trey says before standing up. “Anyone for a refill?”
“Yeah, I’ll come with you.” I say before standing up and walking inside.
“What the fuck, Trey?” I give him an angry look once we reach the kitchen.
“Woah, what do you mean?”
“What are you playing at? Warning Miles off me?”
“Bethany, are you serious? If you and Miles get together, it’s going to tear apart your dad’s relationship with both his best friend and his only daughter.”
“I don’t see why you’re getting so worked up by this.” I state, folding my arms over my chest.
“Because for the past five years, this has been my family too. I came from a shitty childhood and was forced to hide who I really am. The only time I have ever felt like I belonged is when I’m with your family. Your mum welcomed me in, she embraced me and my lifestyle. Your dad treats me a thousand times better than my own so-called parents. Fuck Bethany, think about it! If you do this, I don’t know where that leaves me. Where does my best friend go?” Trey is shouting now.
“It’s not always about you, Trey. This is my life and my choices. I’m not sure I want to throw away a chance at love anymore.”
“Love! Are you fucking serious? You’ve only gotten close in the last few weeks. You’ve lost your mind.”
“Fuck you Trey!” I shout back.
“Are you listening to yourself? Beth!”
“I’m done with you. I can’t. How am I supposed to know how deep my feelings might go if I push him away before it’s really begun?”
“You know what, I don’t give a shit. Go fuck him, but I won’t be there to pick up the pieces.”
“Hey, hey! What is going on?” my mums voice rings out and I realise we must have been shouting really loud. I look away from Trey and notice all eyes are on us. Mum looks really concerned, Dad looks lost and Miles looks guilty. I wonder how much they actually heard. Neither Trey or I used Miles’ name so they won’t know who we were talking about. I feel my eyes begin to water and I know I need to get out of here.
“I need to go home. Mum can you drive Trey home later? I need some space.”
“Of course. I’m not sure you should be driving in such a state.” Mum says coming to stand in front of me.
“I’ll be fine. Thanks for dinner guys. Sorry you had to hear that.” I kiss mum on the cheek and smile at Dad before walking out of the house.
At home I’ve showered and put on my comfiest pair of pj’s. I climb into bed and turn on some music to try and relax. I’m so mad at Trey for getting involved but apart of me understands why. My phone pings with a text message. It’s from mum.
Mum: Are you okay darling? Trey didn’t elaborate on whatever your argument was about but I gather there is a guy involved. I’m here for you when you want to talk. Love Mum.
Me: Love you mum.
I can’t talk to mum about this. Another reason why Trey is probably right. I can’t start anything with Miles. I’d be stupid to think otherwise. Tomorrow I will go over and apologise to Trey.
I must doze off because I startle when my phone rings beside me in bed.
“Miles, hi.” I say warily.
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to answer.”
“I’m more mature than that.”
“Ha, I know. So, ah I’m outside. You can tell me to fuck off if you want, but I’d really like to see you.”
“I’m not going to tell you to fuck off. You can come in.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. I’m on my way up.”
I hang up and get out of bed to unlock the front door then I get back in bed. Mile’s can let himself in which he does a few minutes later.
“I’m in the bedroom.” I say loudly.
Miles stops in the doorway and smiles sadly at me.
“I think we are both on the same page, aren’t we?” I mumble.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Miles nods his head regrettably.
“I was the cause of your fight with Trey and I’d hate to see that happen again only with your dad next time.”
“What happened when I left?” I ask.
“Well, no matter how hard your mum tried to get the details off Trey, he didn’t say a word. She knows there’s a guy, but she doesn’t know it’s me. Trey was pretty upset though; I could tell he was trying really hard not to cry.”
“Yeah, I was too hard on him. I know that. He’s just trying to protect our family.”
“He’s a good guy.” Miles states and I nod my head.
Minutes pass and neither of us speaks.
“Ok, well not to be rude but I need some space. Some time to get over you.”
“I understand. I’m truly sorry for how this has turned out.” Miles stands up.
“Me too. Though I don’t regret any of it.” I sound happier than I feel.
“Beth, you are an incredible young woman, and, in another lifetime, I would have loved experiencing life with you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.” And with those parting words, Miles is gone.
It doesn’t take long for the tears to start. I know we weren’t actually together but somehow this feels like a breakup.