She was staring at me with the blankest look I’ve ever seen anyone master.
My chest thudded from my racing heart and my hands started to sweat due to nerves.
I can do this, I told myself over and over again as I avoided her glaring eyes, dropping my bag from my shoulder to sit next to her. My breathing was hard so I stopped that all together so she didn’t think I was panting from walking from my lonely table to her, which was only a few metres away.
I can’t do this.
The thought flashed through my head just as she clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth in a pissed way.
What if she thought I was a freak? Or if she really just liked being alone? And maybe this was a bad idea? I should go before she punches me or something, my head rambled on as I bit my tongue hard, staring out in front of me as I felt her eyes burn into the side of my face.
“Kill me,” she muttered, getting up and walking away as I moved my eyes away from my usually seating spot to watch her leave.
She was Ellicia Walker, the girl who always sat alone but the girl with the biggest and baddest reputation here. The thing is, I always sit alone too so I’ve been wondering for a few days if maybe she wanted company. My company but obviously she didn’t. Maybe she was just having a bad day?
I’ll give it a go tomorrow again if I see her, I thought, a smile coming now because I was really proud of myself. I left my table, I walked over here and actually sat next to her. I took off like a rocket, out of my comfort zone and I pressed the buttons and pushed myself to go to these lengths.
Next time, I’ll try to talk to her.
“You have to be fucking kidding,” I heard Ellicia mutter as she closed her eyes and I felt comfortable to sit with her, no issues coming to me today. I gave her a genuine smile, watching as she inhaled deeply and closed her sketching book to get up.
“Hi,” I greeted, surprising myself. My eyes widened as she looked back at me, her jaw clenched in anger as I took in her forest green eyes, her messy dirty blonde hair and narrow face, makeup thin to slightly cover up some freckles on her forehead, cheeks and nose.
I never knew she had freckles. Why does she try to hide them? I’m sure she’d look really pretty with them… well, prettier than she already is.
I started to feel nervous as she looked me up and down, her eyes closing again as she turned away to get up. I watched her walk away without another word or look, making me pierce my lips together because that really wasn’t enough.
Next time, let’s have a conversation.
“What!” Ellicia yelled at me, turning sharply to make me stop before I crashed into her. A squeal escaped as she shoved me into the lockers, her eyes dark and dangerous as she held me tight, her hands fisting in my shirt. “Is your deal?” She finished as I stared at her.
“I know you’re a loner,” I started, my voice squeaky from nerves and making her face scrunch up angrily as I gulped and continued. “I’m a loner too and so I was wondering, you don’t have to but, um, I’d like you to and so, well, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to be friends?” I asked very quickly, maybe too quickly? I wonder if she caught it all because I don’t think I’d stay conscious enough to go through that again. I felt my heartbeat in my throat as my face flamed up in embarrassment and nervousness.
“Friends? With you?” She snickered, shoving me back hard into the lockers again. I yelped at contact before I landed hard on my bum, wincing from the shot of pain that ran through my body. “Die in a hole, freak.”
We’re having a conversation, I thought as a smile ripped through me somehow and I pushed myself up to my feet.
“I’m not the only freak,” I told her and sucked in a harsh breath when she swung her fist to my face but stopped and dropped her fist, her other hand tight in my shirt again.
“I’m not your kind of freak,” she replied bitterly but giving me a weird look I didn’t know. I frowned at her in confusion as she touched my hair, which was fluffy and dark. I was supposed to have a cut a few weeks ago but I never got around to it so my curls had gone out of control.
“Let’s be freaks together?” I suggested, looking at her strangely as she bit her bottom lip, her eyes giving me that weird look again. “Ah, um, you like math?” I asked, trying to start a conversation to make her stop looking at me like that. It was uncomfortable and my body was reacting differently, I didn’t like it.
“You are so cute,” she murmured, her eyes falling down my skinny body covered in jeans, a Transformer T-shirt and black flannel shirt that was open, my headphones around my neck and my backpack over my shoulders.
I smiled at her, my chest giving off unique tingles as my gut twisted too, “ha, um, r-really?” I asked, nerves coming in to make me stutter. I took a small breath to calm down as I touched my hand to my other arm, watching as she nodded, twisting her body slightly from her toes on one foot, tipped down to the floor as her knee pressed to my leg gentle each time she turned to the right angle.
“You’re cute too,” I replied to her, not wanting to be rude.
“The fuck kind of name is Rupert?” Ellicia growled at me. It’d been two days since I saw her, the day we actually made conversation for the first time. She hadn’t been at school so when I saw her, coming out of the cafeteria, I thought it would be best to introduce myself now that we were something of ‘friends’.
I glance down at my wrapped-up sandwich in my hand before I shuffled closer to sit next to her, a nervous feeling crawling up my back to shoot my neck. I flinched slightly at it before I looked over the sketchbook in her hands, open with shades of grey through it. Before I could figure out what it was, she snapped it closed and turned to me for my answer I’d yet to tell her.
“Um,” I mumbled, looking from her to my sandwich before I started unwrapping it. “It’s a European name which means fame. Or Bright. Or glory,” I informed but she just stared at me like I was nothing. I cowered and looked back to my sandwich, lifted it up to take a small nibble, my anxiety hitting the roof while she watched me.
“You’re none of those,” she replied, making me feel worse as I swallowed my little bite down when my throat started to feel a little dry. “The name’s Ellicia.”
“I know,” I said before I caught her look, making me look back down. “I mean, I know your name already because we have math together and I hear it a lot on the PA,” I explained and she gave me an interesting smirk for half a second before it was gone and I had her back to look at. “What hobbies do you like? You like drawing, I’ve seen that,” I said and she sat back, a cigarette lit in between her lips.
I stared at it for a moment before I glanced around, seeing the no-smoking sign on the wall of the cafeteria but it was also the fact she was too young.
“I don’t think you can smoke.”
“Well, I am.”
“No, I mean, you’re not allowed to,” I told her and she gave a dark look as she took the cigarette with her fingers.
“Well, I am,” she repeated slowly, smoke leaving her mouth in puffs of grey with each word. “Yes, I like drawing,” she said, making me look at her with joy and surprise.
She was actually listening to me? I thought happily as she gave an amused glance back, putting the cigarette back to her lips as the smell started to consume me disgustingly.
“What do you draw?” I asked in curiosity, watching as she took the cigarette back and blew out a long line of smoke that spread out above her before it all disappeared.
“I like music and boxing too,” she said, ignoring my question but making me even more curious.
I’ve never known a girl to like boxing… I’ve never really known any girls though. Do girls usually like boxing? It’s not something that comes up over social media and YouTube. I get that a lot of girls fancy all kinds of music, so do I. Music and video games were my top two favourite things, excluding my family.
“You do? I love music too. I don’t know about boxing though, I’m not really into the hard stuff.”
“I could tell,” she muttered mostly to herself but I still caught it. I looked away from her, my spirits dying as I continued to nibble my salami salad sandwich. “Can’t believe I’m even saying this but you seem genuine but you’re too scrawny,” she muttered, to which I looked up at because she was going to suggest something or say something or offer something. I don’t know but I want to know so I’ll keep my mouth shut and let her speak.
Her eyes searched my face as she took in the cigarette yet again but it was shrinking, not much to go which I was glad about because I didn’t want to go home smelling like cigarette smoke. My mum would definitely not be too pleased with me.
“Let me build you up,” Ellicia finally said, making my eyes widen in surprise because I wasn’t expecting that. “I’ll train you, get you some muscle and fat, the good stuff,” her nose twitched cutely as I continued to stare at her. “I’ll make you better.”
“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?” She asked, frowning slightly as I felt my heart beat a little faster.
“I have asthma and allergies. And I can’t run or do push-ups, I’m weak and little and delicate,” I told her and pouted slightly, giving her soft eyes when I knew that wasn’t going to get me out of it. “Please don’t break me.”
“Allergies is your mother’s fault for not feeding you peanuts when you were a baby and asthma is your fault for not being active enough during childhood. Now you’re in high school and you can man up, am I clear? You’ll get over your allergies in time and your asthma can go fuck itself after I’m done with you,” she said sternly, finishing off her cigarette. I gulped because she really was serious about what she’d said.
What if I have an attack and don’t get my puffer in time? What if I die with this idea? What if she kills me? She couldn’t handle that, she might be bad but I’m sure she couldn’t handle my death on her hands.
“How about I think about it?” I asked, thinking up of a way to move city and get away from her before it was too late and I was dead from my asthma attacks.
“We start tomorrow,” she said, ignoring me and her voice bossy and serious still. I looked at her for a while but the longer I looked at her, the more I felt trapped and knew I wasn’t going to get out of this friendship anytime soon.
Hope you enjoyed the start :)
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Thanks so much and hope you continue on with my story
~ Sexual Content
~ Mature content
~ Mature Language
~ Slow/weekly updates
~ Full story in Rupert's point of view