Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 11

I watched her twirl in the sunlight, glowing like an angel as she raised her hands into the air, her smile wide with joy, her eyes sparkling with love and happiness. As the sun crossed over her face, a rainbow flickered passed before she was out of the light, her back to me now as she ran down the corridor.

I followed her, watching her as she disappeared into her room, closing it behind her gently. I ran after her, my chest tingling with joy too. But I continued to run and I wasn’t getting any closer to the door. I ran and ran, the worry rushing over me as I watched it only move further away.

I reached a hand out, unable to grab the handle and before I knew it, the door was gone, lost.

She was lost.

I was lost...

My eyes opened from my dream, the feeling of falling hitting hard as I braced myself, grabbing the sheets tightly in my hands. I stared up at the ceiling, my breathing heavy as I swallowed hard, realising I was in Ellicia’s room. In her bed but not with her.

I glanced around, sitting up and then looking at her as she sat by the window, drawing in her sketchbook. At my movement, her eyes glanced up and at me for a second before she looked back down. When I knew she was still here and okay, I laid back down, my dream replaying in my head.

I don’t usually dream so that was definitely something weird to experience. Everything was so perfect, we were so happy and then suddenly, it was all gone.

Was it a warning? Was it a message? Or just my brain scaring me a little?

I’m scared, I don’t think I’ll never not be scared to lose her so I’m definitely afraid at the moment because of this dream.

“What are you drawing?” I asked sleepily, moving my hands up to rub my eyes.

“Nothing,” she replied, making me sigh because it was obviously something. I took another few moments to wake up more, my arms over my face but I knew I had to get up soon because I had class.

“I gotta get up,” I murmured when I felt her come over me, straddling my waist before she curled her arms in and laid against my chest. I moved my arms down and around her, her hair on my face and tickling just under my nose. I shifted to rub it before I brushed her hair back down, continued running my hand down her back, slipping it under her tank top.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I whispered and she groaned a little, shifted to sit up again.

“Yeah, whatever,” she replied, getting off me and walking off to get her jacket. I sighed softly because I guessed she was back to her usual self. I got up too, finding my clothes and dressing into them as she packed up her book and pencils, put them into her bag.

“I finish late today,” I told her but she didn’t give me any attention, making me wonder if she was mad at me about last night. “Ell, what’s wrong?”


“Is this about last night?”

“No,” she sighed, giving me a warning look as I pulled on my socks and shoes. “You did nothing wrong. And I did everything wrong,” she gave me a small, sad smile as she walked back.

“Elle,” I said, moving to follow.

“I’ll catch you later,” she told me before she disappeared through the door. I stopped when I reached it, touched my hand to the dark green door and closed my eyes, looking back into my dream. She’d walked through the door like she just did and she’d disappeared for good. If I opened this door, would she still be there? I wondered but I couldn’t open it. Not right now.

I took a big breath and moved back to roughly make her bed and open the curtains. I grabbed my jacket and things before I left the room, looked down the corridor but she was already gone.


I watched as Jacob and Harvey came straight up to me without a second thought when they first saw me after class. It was early afternoon and I was honestly missing and concerned about Ellicia. She was pissed about something this morning, nothing I did yet it was everything she did. What did she do?

“How’s the BFF?” Jacob asked, smirking as he swung his arm to catch my shoulders, making me sigh softly because I truly didn’t know how she was doing. I’d been texting and calling all day but she hasn’t gotten back to me, telling me she was either out doing bad or she was ignoring me.

“I don’t know, man. Girls are confusing as sometimes,” I shook my head softly as they both nodded in agreement.

“What’s happened now?” Harvey asked, raising his hand through his blonde hair, his hazel eyes on me while Jacob looked down to the ground with his blue eyes, his brown hair long enough to fall in front of his eyes.

“I snapped last night and this morning she’s all quiet and pissed. But apparently, I did nothing and she did everything,” I shrugged and they just looked at each other in confusion, Jacob taking his arm back.

“You two were together last night?” He questioned and I nodded, “what did you get up to?”

“Went out for dinner, it was chill.”

“So, you had sex?” Harvey asked next, making me look at him for a moment before I looked back to Jacob, his expression blank yet I knew he was biting the surface of his skin for details too.


“Ahh, why the hell not?” Jacob asked, tapping my chest with the back of his hand. “Did you guys even kiss? Or are you honestly-.”

“We kiss,” I cut him off angrily, moving my arms over my chest. “We were gonna... it’s not really any of your business but things were heading there. Then things turned upside down and I ruined it. Some things were said and it didn’t happen.”

“Shit, man. That’s why you don’t talk,” Harvey pinched his lips with his fingers, making me sigh softly because that was good advice. Our talking ruined last night, resulting in me in ruining it even more with my little fears of losing her and her hurting me.

“Hope all goes well and when you do get it done, keep us updated. We’re bros after all. Don’t keep us in the dark,” Jacob smiled at me simply and fist-bumped my fist before I bumped Harvey’s and watched them walk away together.

They don’t care about you, my head whispered and I totally agreed. They didn’t care about me or my relationship, they were just trying to get the good stuff, thinking I’d tell them as a price for their friendship, to be their ‘bro’.

I sighed deeply, starting towards the residential building where the dorms were.

The walk to my dorm was boring and long. When I finally walked inside, I was ready to just collapse on my bed and Ellicia...

I passed and dropped my bag on the ground before I froze. Ellicia?

I looked back and she was there, laying on my bed on her front with earphones plugged in as she drew in her sketchbook.

I frowned at her for a while and then looked up to see if Col was here too but he wasn’t, making me wonder how she got in since the door was locked.

I kicked off my shoes and made my way over, moving one leg over her to lay down on her, moving my arms around her, under her arms.

“I’m not in the mood. Get off me,” she said bossily. I took a moment, breathing in her perfume before I got off her because I didn’t want to make her even more pissed.

“How was your day?”

“Shit,” she muttered back, pulling out her earplugs and closing the book onto her phone before she put it all onto the ground.

“Oh,” I murmured, touching my hand to her back as I laid next to her on my front too. “Are you okay?” I asked her genially and gave her a soft look when she looked back darkly.

“When’s your next class?” She asked instead, making me sigh and put my head down onto her shoulder.

“At three. Finishes at six so it’s going to be long and probably boring.”

“Psychology?” She questioned and I nodded. “I’ll come,” she shrugged and I paused before I nodded again because I wouldn’t mind her with me again. “It’s actually kinda interesting.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, putting my head down onto my arms. “What have you been doing?”

“Just chilling. Went for a run this morning. Got back and met with Leroy for some exclusive shit,” she smirked at that as I gave her a look. “Came here after a little fun.”

"Fun?" I gritted and she smirked again.

“I climbed from my window to yours without falling and dying. My kind of fun."

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” I yelled, getting up because that wasn’t something to laugh at and that definitely wasn’t even close to fun. I walked to my window, now only realising that it was open and pushing in the warm spring breeze.

“Chill your frill, Romeo. Can’t save us all,” she muttered and I moved back to rough her up a bit because she really didn’t understand what exactly she meant to me and what I’d be if she was to die doing the stupid things she did. I’d be torn apart without her... there’s no words for what I would become.

She made a noise when I pulled her off my bed and onto the ground, holding her throat loosely enough to not hurt her but tightly enough that she knew I was now the one who was pissed.

“What if you fell?” I asked angrily as she just glared at me. “What if you got hurt or worse? What if no one found you after several days later? How would I cope?! How would I live if you went ahead and died because you were climbing along a building?! You’re stupid, Ellicia! Stupid!” I yelled, shaking her as the anger increased inside.

“Okay! I get it.”

“No, you don’t,” I whispered, sniffing my tears as I let her go and got up, my body feeling like it was ready to give up. I sat on my bed, staring at the open window, “you’ll never get it. You’ll never learn the lesson. And one day, you’re going to get hurt. One day, you’ll leave me.”

“The fuck you on about?” She growled back, getting up as I remembered back to my dream. How it was all perfect before it was all gone. It was all lost. “I’m not going anywhere, Rubes. I’m right here,” she said softly, coming in front of me to take my cheeks.

“But one day-.”

“Shh,” she pressed her finger to my lips and I looked up into her eyes, the emerald gem vibrant mixed with the jade green her eyes had. I closed my eyes softly when she leaned forward. The feel of her lips on mine came shortly after, the kiss gentle and slow... meaningful.

I took a minute to come back from my depressed state and started kissing her back when I felt her hands undo my shorts in a rush and pull them down enough to bring out my member.

I sucked in a small breath, pulling back from the kiss to glance down before I closed my eyes as she pumped it, touching her cheek to mine. I groaned lowly, her free hand running through my hair as I felt my body suddenly relax from the anger and sadness, coming to a bliss of excitement.

“Fuck,” I muttered after a small moan, holding her hips slightly tighter for a second as I felt my gut turn sickly with an amazing feeling.

“I think my swearing’s rubbing off on you,” she murmured in my ear, making me groan again because I hadn’t realised. I hardly swore, I didn’t like it and neither did my mum so I always tried to stay clean. But maybe I’ve been spending too much time with Ellicia... but that’s okay. It’s not like it’s going to kill me, I’ll just have to be careful when I’m around my mum.

I swallowed hard, opening my eyes when her cheek left mine. I took in a short breath when she replaced her hand with her mouth, my body flaming up instantly at the new feeling, new experience.

“Holy...” I started, moaning as I touched my hand to her head, felt as she sucked slowly while she touched her tongue around my length. I leaned forward slightly, biting my tongue hard as I told myself not to swear. “Cow,” I finished, my butt cheeks clenching as my gut flipped.

I brushed her hair back from her face as I felt wave after wave of ecstasy roll over inside me. I closed my eyes from it, the sound of her moaning coming as she pulled away after a while.

I looked back at her, the back of her hand wiping her closed mouth before I watched her swallow a lump, making my eyes go wide before I grimaced.

Did she...? She didn’t.


“Is that was people honestly do?” I asked in disgust, making her burst out in laughter.

“I cannot believe you just said that. Where have you been? My god,” she exclaimed, getting up to set a big, fat kiss of my lips. She tasted bitter yet plain at the same time, different from what she tasted like before she sucked me off.

“Yes. A majority of people these days suck dicks and swallow. Just like others eat their girl out.”

“I’m confused.”

“You’re honestly the dumbest virgin ever,” she muttered, smacking her hand to my forehead, making me blink and cut my staring. “But that’s cute. Good thing I dig for you.”

“Dig for me?” I smirked, kinda liking the sound of that just as she touched her lips to mine, straddling over my lap. I took her neck in my hand, kissing her back hard as I touched my other hand to the small of her back.

“Fuck, so much,” she replied, suddenly breathless as she pushed my shoulders back. I laid back, feeling as she got off. I looked back towards her, chuckled lowly when she searched through Col’s cupboards. I heard her mutter something but I saw how her expression suddenly lit up.

Fuck, I thought, moving my arms over my eyes as she moved to lock the door and rushed back over. I didn’t feel anything until I felt her shirt suddenly fall passed my foot, then I felt her bare legs against my own.

This was really going to happen. For real this time. No talking, I told myself, moving my arms off my face to look down as she took my cock, her thumbs pressed against my tip before she easily rolled on the condom. It felt tight and uncomfortable, rubber-like against my skin.

I stared down at her bare front, hesitated before I touched my hand to her thigh, letting my thumb run down her clit just to feel her. She touched her hand over mine, leaning forward as she put her free hand by my head, leaning on it.

I felt my body swim with different emotions, my eyes widening when she took my hand to direct it in between her legs more so slowly, it was almost daunting.

“You just,” she stopped when I met her eyes and they gave me everything I needed as I felt her finger run along with mine, leading in passed her folds. I felt the moisture surround my finger as I pressed it deeper within her, another following when it was still too loose. I didn’t know much but I knew some things about this and that.

“And you just,” she murmured, giving me a look of wide eyes, indicating something I totally understood because I knew her. I moved my fingers inside her, watching her eyes light up positively before her walls clenched and I felt my mind blow up. As my erection grew harder against her, I felt her grow wetter and when I pulled my hand back, it was as if I unblocked a drain because more than I expected leaked.

“Yeah,” she breathed, moving forward slightly as she touched her hands to my chest, her fingertips running down slowly. I felt myself flinch wherever it tickled, putting a small smile to her lips as I touched my hands to her hips. As she moved forward move, I knew she was reaching the tip of my laying dick under her. When she reached it, I inhaled deeply because I felt the warmth and moisture consume the tip before more, slowly crawling further into her as her walls suddenly clamped in too.

“Holy shit, Rubie,” her eyes went wide before she laughed and I looked at her, half in confusion and half in amusement because I felt how big her hole was, yet it was clamming in now.

“Oh my... okay,” I breathed after a little moan when she moved back and forth. It’s happening.

It’s really, truly, magnificently happening.

I swallowed hard, watching from the base as she moved back and forth, her pace quickening with every rock as the pressure around my cock increased but it felt so damn good.

Fuck... she was right. It’s been worth my while and perhaps I will want to bang her every second of every day after this. If it feels this amazing now, wait until I know more, am more experienced.

“Practice makes perfect,” I told her cheekily, making her laugh as she brushed her hand through her hair. I groaned when my body suddenly waved over in exhaustion, making me complain a little because that was way too short.

I wanted more, no point in denying that.

“My baby’s all grown up,” Ellicia pouted and smirked as she got off me, falling down next to me as she laid on my arm. “But fuck, that was pretty decent.”


“Yeah,” she smirked back, making my lips quirk up too as I got up. I looked down and pulled off the condom trickly before I got the hang of it. I threw it in the bin, pierced my lips and wondered what Col would think if he saw it. I sighed and moved some clean stuff over it before I walked back to put my boxers again.

“Shit,” I muttered, catching her look in her eyes as she touched her finger to her lips, laying effortlessly but like that on purpose to get to me. She had her legs together, her body half turned so she was partly on her side, her breasts against each other, loosely in the cups of her bra.

“I know you’re not as strong as you look but get another and come back,” she purred, the corner of her mouth quirking up as she bit her fingertip in a sexy kind of way.

I scowled a little but walked over to Col’s side, finding the box easily because she kept the draw open. I grabbed one, stopped and grabbed two more just to keep for myself before I walked back. I put two into my bag quickly and then opened the third as she gracefully sat back up and snatched it.

“Jeez Louise, calm your farm,” I told her and hissed when she yanked me closer, pumping away hard and fast as I pressed a leg onto my bed. My hands itched suddenly and I hesitated before I led them back and unclipped her bra. I pulled the straps off her shoulders, looking at her breasts as they became exposed. So full... big... perfect.

“No way these are natural,” I said and she gave me a look, finishing rolling on the condom. “They’re not real, are they?”

“The fuck you think?” She hissed back, pulling me down with her. I smirked at her, my eyes going back to her breasts. “Fuck off, they’re mine, jerk,” she muttered, hitting my chin so I looked up again.

“No way,” I continued and she rolled her eyes at my reaction. “Ell, they’re fucking beautiful. You’re fucking beautiful.”

“Are you’re fucking useless. Are you going or not?” She replied and I hummed a little, setting my kiss on her lips as I felt her hand line me up as she opened her legs wide.

“Do I just?” I started and closed one eye as I pushed in slowly.

“What are you doing?” She asked, slapping my cheek slightly with a small laugh. I grinned in response, opening my eye again to watch her reaction as I took the word ‘bang’ and banged into her. She gasped, giving me wide eyes and a stunned look.

“Shit. Alright then,” she breathed as I glanced down, watching as I slammed into her again. Then again, getting the hang of things to work my way in deep, my pace fastening as I felt her nails start to dig into my bag. I rolled my shoulder blades, looking back at her to see her eyes closed. She looked like she was sleeping with a bad dream, wincing and grunting yet moaning and groaning at the same time.

“Fuck,” she moaned suddenly, touching her hand to my chest, panting along with me as our bodies moved against each other. “That’s it. Go faster.”

“Faster?” I questioned, making her laugh as she looked down, moving her legs around my waist. I groaned against her lips as I took them with my own, kissing her hard as I disobeyed and went slower, making hard but slow and fluent thrusts.

“We making love or fucking? Go faster.”

“I’m making love. You do you,” I replied, smirked against her lips when she groaned, tugging my hair gently but in a way that she was debating on letting me keep my hair or pulling it out. “Making love to my number one girl,” I whispered, moving from her lips to her neck.

“Number one girl, hey?” She breathed and I only had a few seconds before I had to stop, my strength completely gone now. It’s utterly the worst and best feeling at the same time, it’s insane trying to get my head wrapped around it.

I pulled out as I felt her hand wrap around my neck softly, her head turning to kiss me softly.

“Making love’s not so bad,” she whispered, her eyes falling down for a second before a smile cracked open and she kissed me again before the constant rings of my alarm was going for me to head back to class so I wasn’t late.

“Shit, I got to get ready,” I jumped up and started getting ready for my psychology class as she just changed and waited for me to hurry up.

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