Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 12

I shifted uneasily in my seat, my body feeling like it was on fire as my concentration was completely gone. I inhaled deeply, staring ahead at the presentation the professor had projected up onto the wall for everyone to see. It’s been two hours already, one hour left until it ended and I was free for the rest of the day. I could see her again.

I can’t believe I’m actually missing her... for real. I’ve never felt like this, I’ve never wanted to be with her so much like I do right now. I want to be with her, I want to be holding her, kissing her. I want to be laughing and mucking around like we do when she’s in that mood.

She’d come to class for about ten minutes before she got bored and tried convincing me to go with her but I didn’t, I knew better and I had to be here for the new assignments or whatever else the professor had in store for us. I do wish I had gone with her but I also know it was a good thing I didn’t.

I can’t be distracted from my studies. My career is important and I have to concentrate on it all more than her. My love life and my education has to stay separate... but how do I manage that when she’s here with me at college and in my head twenty-four-seven?

I sat back, my eyes closing as I scratched my fingertips over my nose and then eyebrow. I suddenly jumped when hands braced my shoulders, making me look back to find Jacob, Harvey and the other guys sitting behind me.

“A bit restless are we?” Jacob smirked, his eyes narrowing as he searched mine. I rolled my shoulders and turned back around, not wanting to spill anything to them because they’d just go ahead and tell everyone else.

“Obviously, something happened,” Harvey put in next, leaning forward and towards me too. My mind flashed back to before, the sex, the love, the chemistry. I bit the inside of my cheek hard to keep my smile hidden while the sparks ignited in my gut and chest.

“Come on, man. Don’t leave us in the dark,” Jacob said, tapping my chest lightly. I clenched my jaw and pushed his hand away as I heard Harvey buzz in my ear like a bee.

“Fuck off, guys,” I growled, sitting up properly.

“I see how she’s rubbing off on you,” Jacob said, amused but they were kind of pissing me off now. I didn’t mean to swear but I knew they were right. She was rubbing off on me and now I’m some swearing lunatic too.

I don’t know why it’s happening now but maybe because we’re more than friends now. Maybe we’re becoming one...

“Sweet, sweet pleasure,” Harvey murmured and cackled lowly as he shoved my head forward, making me grunt because it kind of hurt. “Wanna do something for us?”

“Depends,” I muttered back, sitting against the chair again and not giving them much attention.

“We’re all gonna meet up with a few others tonight in my dorm. Come along with your girl,” Jacob said on my other side, making me turn my head in his direction slightly. That’s twice now that he’s invited me to something... telling me to bring Ellicia too.

“You got something on her?” I gritted back, turning to look at him as he gave a short look to Harvey.

“Just asking, bro,” Harvey replied but I saw the look they shared. “You don’t have to.”

“Good because I’ve got better things I could be doing,” I muttered back, facing the front again, my mind going over it. Did Jacob have a thing for her? If so, he should well know to stay away from her unless he wants to get on my nerves. I try not to get too angry because with my training, what I’ve learned from Ellicia, I don’t lose the fights anymore. And I try not to fight aggressively but sometimes if I’m just too angry, I can’t help it... no one could.

“Jeez, man. What’s up with you today?” Harvey asked, making me sigh as I realised how rude I probably was acting.

“I’m sorry. I’m just tired,” I told them and took another breath to calm myself down and clear my head from it all. “And I’m trying to focus,” I added, now wanting to focus on the presentation.

“All good, Rupe. Just head over if you change your mind, you’re always welcome,” Jacob clapped my shoulder and I nodded softly, to which he sat back at and they finally left me alone.

***

I was walking outside, following one of the paths to the residence when my eyes caught sight to blonde hair and black leather. I changed direction and headed over to her as she sat on a bench, her eyes closed and her face up at the sun, earphones in her ears and her elbows resting over her knees.

“Hey,” I greeted and when she didn’t answer, I gently pulled her earphones out, making her look at me in a snappy kind of way. She kept a mean look on me as she took her plugs back and put them back in.

“What did I do?” I asked as she sat back and closed her eyes again. I sighed softly and sat next to her, moving my arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. She stayed still and quiet and after a while, I pulled one of her earplugs out again.

“What’s wrong?”

“The fact you told Jacob about the sex,” she replied, giving me a look as I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t tell anyone anything. They were guessing crap in class, invited us over for a dorm party,” I said and her look lightened as she searched my face quickly.

She looked away and down, getting her phone. I looked down too, watching as she got test messages up on her phone to show me.

“Sounds like you give it good. When can I get a hit of you?” I read first because it had been the first text he’d ever sent to her. She hadn’t replied so the rest of the screen was blank.

“I knew it,” I muttered, shaking my head slightly as she leaned her shoulder against mine, picking her leg up onto the bench as I took her phone. “What’s something you would say?”

“A fight won’t change a dirty prick from wanting a taste of heaven,” she said, her tone calm as her eyes gave off dancing flames of amusement. She took her phone back and I let her because she was right. A fight wouldn’t do anything but hurt someone and I don’t want to have to do that.

“Let’s make it known,” I touched my fingertips along her jaw and leaned in to kiss her softly. “You’re my angel and my angel only.”

She smiled and touched her lips to mine again as I felt for her hand, taking hold of it. I kissed her back for the short time before the kiss ended and she looked down at her phone as she got up her Snapchat. My eyes widened at the number of snaps she had yet to open.

“How do you have so many people snapping you? And why are most of them guys?”

“Just guys from around,” she answered, shrugging as I felt an itch crawl over my heart a little. She glanced at me quickly and then back down, opening a few but they were just random things, no texts.

I raised my hand to her head, brushing my fingers down through her hair as I slid my other hand under her jacket and shirt, keeping it against her side. Her skin was so warm and soft, I wanted to feel more of it.

Shit, I thought when my head went back to before. It’d only been a few hours yet it was like I was addicted, craving for more right now.

“Dammit it, woman,” I muttered, taking her hand to press it to my dick as it grew hard quickly. “You see what you’ve done?”

“No, I don’t see. I feel it though,” she replied, giving me an amused look as she took her hand back. I groaned a little and leaned in, kissed her lips softly. She hummed softly before she pulled away and looked up, her eyes glancing around as I frowned softly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replied, looking back to her phone as I glanced around too. Was it the people around? Was she ashamed to be seen with me?

“I see,” I muttered, my eyes falling as I got my bag and stood up to walk away. As I walked away, I wanted to hear her call my name or try to catch up to me but when I reached the doors, I gave up on hope.

I took a deep breath in and out, starting on the stairs but then slowing when a few people were coming down.

“Rupe, hey,” Maddy smiled, stopping with them as I stopped too.

“Hey,” I replied politely to them all.

“So... you and Ellicia are together now,” Maddy said, bringing her hands together in front of her awkwardly as I nodded. “I hope she treats you right, you deserve nothing less than the best.”

“Thanks,” I murmured, thinking about how she said that. The best? Ellicia wasn’t perfect and definitely not the best out there but then who was? Maybe she was just the best for me... just right for me. Maybe... maybe not.

“If you ever have any issues or wanna talk, I’m always here. You can talk to me about anything,” she smiled and I nodded, taking her word for it but also getting a bad feeling deep in my stomach. “I’ll let you go but-.”

“Yes you will,” a grumpy voice said, coming to us. Maddy gave Ellicia a frightened look as Ellicia gave her a death glare, grabbing my arm to pull after her.

“Sorry,” I mouthed to Maddy and she gave me a small smile and nod before I turned back around, walking upstairs with Ellicia. “Lighten up, Angel. It was nothing.”

“Sure, sure,” she muttered back and I growled playfully, fastening to wrap my arms around her neck, trying to change her attitude. “Fuck off, Rupert.”

“No can do,” I replied, pulling her into my room and then kicking the door closed when Col wasn’t in. I locked it, keeping my arm around her tightly as she did nothing to fight me.

“You’re pissing me off,” she said blankly, giving me a look as I poked my tongue out a little. She growled when I licked her nose before I grunted when she pinched my arm hard with her nails. I took my arm back and watched her walk away.

“You were already pissed off,” I muttered in response, following her only to put my bag onto my desk. “I can’t talk to girls now?”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Mhmm,” I hummed bitterly, not turning to her because now I was kind of pissed too. I can’t talk to other girls? Why? It’s not like I see them as anything else than friends... people I don’t know at all, yet I still know them from around campus.

“You know you’re the only girl I know here. No other girl interests me so here we have it,” I turned to her now, waving my hand in her direction. “The only girl in my life. The most important girl to me and the biggest bitch I know.”

“Then why the fuck is Maddy giving you flirtatious looks and all that shit?” She hissed back, raising her hand, aiming it towards the door to indicate to Maddy.

“She wasn’t flirting. She was being nice and saying that she hopes all goes well with us.”

“Sarcasm,” she mumbled as I stopped in front of her, taking her cheeks to pull her face up to look at me.

“Just kindness,” I replied, caressing her cheeks softly before I leaned down and kissed her. A gentle peck to her lips and then away again. “All good now?”

“Fuck,” she muttered but to herself as she pushed my hands away. I sighed and took them back, sat down next to her to circle an arm behind her. “I really am a bitch.”

“Ahh... yeah,” I replied and she gave me a dark look. I just smiled back before my attention went to my phone as it went off with an email notification. I got up and walked to my bag to retrieve it, opened it only to widen my eyes when it was an email from one of my professors.

“Shit, shit, shit-.”

“What?” Ellicia asked, cutting me off as I read through the small email. I’m missing a whole assignment from the end of last week. I had an essay overdue and I didn’t even know.

“I have to get an essay done,” I replied, sitting at my desk to take out my laptop and things for the class. I heard her groan behind me before her hands touched my shoulders and slid down my chest as I got up the class’ website to see what exactly the essay was supposed to be on.

“Elle, this is serious,” I told her sternly, pushing her hands up when she dug them under my shirt and over my chest, her nails grazing over my skin.

“Let me loosen you up a bit-.”

“Can’t right now,” I said, taking her hand for a second just to hold. I kissed the back of it before I started typing in the essay question, the date, the class and my name.

I took a deep breath when she just shut the screen when I opened up my book for my notes.

“Go take a hit with Leroy. We can hang tonight.”

“I want a hit of you though,” she whispered back, closing the screen again when I went to open it. I clenched my jaw and looked up at her as she came over my lap, her lips finding mine for a powerful kiss.

I closed my eyes, touched my hands to her hips but pulled away from the kiss, remembering back to the before when I told myself my love life and education was to stay completely separate.

“Okay, we need to talk about something,” I rolled my chair back so she wasn’t squished into my desk. She gave me a light look but nodded. “I take my education and courses very seriously, you know that and I can’t have you distracting me too much. Today, I couldn’t concentrate at all, whatsoever all because I had you and the sex in my head. It’s a distraction to my learning and now this? I need to work, I need to get this handed in so I don’t fail.”

“It’s one stupid essay-.”

“It’s not just the essay, Angel,” I murmured, raising my hand to her cheek, her hair bunching up a little against it. “You and I, our relationship is very new and very different, it’s distracting so can we please take it down a notch? Can we go slow, not spend so much time together so I’m not completely blown over in class?”

“What’s more important to you?” She asked, her tone now dull as she touched her fingertips to herself. “Me or your courses?”

“If I want a career, courses.”

“If you want a future?” She tilted her head and I gave her a look as she glared back darkly but it was really scary how serious she looked. I swallowed a lump, feeling my heart increase in speed as a pit grew. This was harder than I thought and she’s definitely not taking this lightly.

“All I’m asking is some alone time for a few hours a day where I can get my work done. Some days will be longer than others but when I am free, I’ll spend every second I can with you.”

“You can spend every second of the day with me, yet you choose to go to class and do your stupid homework,” she whispered back, her tongue clicking in a pissed kind of way. I took a deep breath, averting my eyes because she wasn’t getting the point.

“I can’t fail-.”

“Would it honestly kill you?” She bit back, getting off me.

“Are you honestly that selfish?” I asked, getting up to turn to her.

“Selfish?!” She shrieked, turning back just before she reached the door, “how is that being selfish?”

“Wow, Ell, just wow. You’re kicking at my heels all because I want you to back off so I can do some work? It’s important to me-.”

“Only two minutes ago you were saying how I was the most important girl!”

“Because you are. The most important girl in my life, I’d do anything for you but when it comes to my schooling, a line is drawn. Stop being selfish because I can’t be there for you twenty-four-seven,” I replied angrily, my fists clenching before I took a seat again. “Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I made a mistake.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged and I looked at her for a while, nodded.

“I shouldn’t have distractions while I’m here, Ell. I need to focus on my courses so I can have a career and a future with a job that’s worth keeping,” I said while she raised her hands to pull her hair out from the messy bun, her hair falling over her shoulders in thick bunches, curls and knots. “If we take a break for a little bit, let me get my mind back-Ellicia,” I growled when she pulled off her jacket, dropped it to the ground before she pulled off her tank top and sports bra in the one go. “Stop fucking undressing. I’m talking serious,” I told her, unable to take my eyes off her now.

She hummed in response, kicking off her shoes before I sat back in my seat, spun around so I couldn’t see her and she couldn’t tempt me. I swallowed hard, the image now glued to my head. Her body... her breasts. Her hair.

Fuck me, I thought, raising a hand up and over my eyes before I got up.

“If you don’t start to take this, me, us seriously then I’m out,” I told her sternly, stopping in front of her to stare into her eyes darkly. “Get on with your nudie rudie run to your room or whatever you were planning and leave me alone.”

“Leave you alone?” She questioned, whispered as she poked my chest to grip my shirt and pull me against her. I clenched my jaw, my hands going to her hips by reflex as she looked up into my eyes deeply.

“Yes,” I told her but she just rolled her eyes, looked down again as she gripped my shorts. I grabbed her hands, seething because she wasn’t understanding one bit of this. “Fucking get dressed and leave me alone, Ellicia. Just one night, you’ll survive. I need to get this essay done.”

“You’re a fucking ass!” She shoved me back and I fell back a few steps before I just moved back to my desk when she started getting dressed again.

“I’m not like the other guys, Ell. You can’t tempt me like that because it’s not just the sex I’m after. I’m sorry to disappoint,” I muttered and then hissed when she came in to smash her fist to my cheek. I stumbled back and down, landing on my side and elbow as I blinked, my cheek aching immediately.

“Don’t hit me,” I told her, getting back to my feet as she shoved on her jacket and pulled her hair out from under it.

“Go die in a hole,” she muttered back, grabbing her phone and plugs from the floor as I clenched my jaw tightly, watched her walk out and slam the door closed behind her.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back Ellicia Walker.

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