Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 13

After four days and two hours, I finally had the stupid essay done. Two thousand words of a whole lot of crap I really wasn’t in the mood for writing but I got it done… at two o’clock on Monday morning.

I hadn’t seen Ellicia since that day but it wasn’t like I’d tried to go see her. Maybe she really packed up and left this time? Maybe that’d be best for both of us.

I’d rather she be gone so I can focus on my courses instead of living in a toxic relationship with her… but I also did have to admit that it’s not all toxic. We’ve had our good moments, moments of happiness and love. Memorable moments that didn’t leave my head so easily.

I missed her, I couldn’t deny that. I missed her heaps and I’d been worried but I’m always the one who goes running back.

When I told Col about it, he just told me to wait and see if she came back. If she was desperate enough then she’d come back when she was all cool again. I took his advice and hadn’t called or gone to see her, instead, I’ve been waiting for her to come to me this time.

I took a quiet breath as I sent my essay off to my professor before I started shutting everything down and packing up roughly. As I pulled off my headphones, I tensed suddenly when cold hands covered my eyes slightly.

My heart jumped to my throat from the fright but as soon as her perfume hit my nose, I relaxed a bit.

“I won’t leave you ever again like that. I promise.”

Ellicia Walker making promises? When did that happen? I thought as I stayed still, kept my eyes closed as she put her chin on my head.

“Come to the roof?”

“I need to get some sleep,” I whispered back, taking another minute before I got up and turned my lamp off. I quietly moved to the window that was open, closed it gently because I didn’t want to wake Col up.

“I have alcohol,” she put in, following me to bed as I pulled off my shirt and sweatpants, got under the blankets. I turned my back to her, closed my eyes because I really wasn’t up for spending time with her. Especially on that roof where we could fall and die… it could be a trap.

“Yeah, make me drunk and push me off the roof so I die,” I muttered back and then sighed a little when she walked around and got in with me.

“I like you alive,” she whispered back before I felt her lips peck my cheek softly. “I hope we can get over this and be happy again.”

“Maybe after you tell me what you’ve been up to,” I mumbled but I really wasn’t up for it tonight. I sighed as I turned around and away from her, felt her hand come to my back before her nails were drawing over it.

“I’m sorry,” I felt first, making my eyes open because this was the closest thing to an apology she’s ever given. She took her hand back and when I didn’t feel or hear anything for a few moments, I closed my eyes again in best hope that I’d fall asleep without a hassle.

***

“Col, shut the fuck up!” I heard, awaking me before I grunted a little when a body fell down onto mine, soft groans in my ear.

“The hell?” I muttered angrily, pushing Ellicia off me only to have her back on, her head on my chest as I heard Col grumble something on the other side.

“How the fuck do you sleep through that?” She exclaimed, turning her head to look at me as I tried waking up a bit more to handle the current events. I frowned at her sleepily, trying to remember how she got into my bed after four days no show.

I took a minute to remember last night. I finally got the essay finished and then she magically popped out of nowhere… her usual way of appearing.

I never see her coming.

“Hi,” I whispered to her, touching my hand to her cheek, felt as her hair brushed down and over it as she put up a small smile.

“Hi,” she whispered back, leaning in to touch her lips to mine. I breathed in deeply through my nose, groaning a little as I kissed her back but after a short moment, I knew I had to pull back.

“You can’t just show up, Elle,” I told her, getting out of bed and away from her before I was caught up in something I couldn’t easily escape. “I need answers. Where have you been? What have you been up to? Why didn’t you come sooner?”

“Why didn’t you come at all? Why are you making me do all the hard work?”

“So hard, Elle,” I muttered back sarcastically, throwing on a shirt before I grunted, clenched my jaw when she hit her fist to my gut. Light enough for me to know she was mucking around but hard enough that it still packed a punch.

“It doesn’t even matter now though. We’re back together, things are chill.”

“Oh are we? Are they?” I questioned, getting pissed off because she was making both our minds up without even considering what I was thinking and feeling. “Maybe we shouldn’t be together,” I said just to see what she’d do.

“You don’t wanna play that card, trust me,” she replied, brushing back her hair and making me look over her because it was different. It was shorter now and dyed in a few places lighter, like it was bleached. I narrowed my eyes, wondering why she changed it because I liked it long and natural.

“Your hair looks shit.”

“You look shit,” she hissed back and I turned around, shaking out my jeans before I put them on. I did them up and grabbed my belt, glancing back only to slow everything down, regret filling my soul because she looked upset. Her eyes down, her head on her hand, her elbow on her knee and her hair not looking as shit as I made it out to be.

Truth is, it suited her but I don’t know why it’s ticked me off so much.

I swallowed and looked down as I slipped on my belt, did it up before I swiftly tugged my shirt over it so it wasn’t tucked in anywhere.

“I just needed a new look,” she said, breaking the silence after a while.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean what I said, I actually like it and it looks good,” I sighed, moving to sit next to her to put on my socks and shoes. “Hope you can forgive me,” I murmured, bending forward to tie my laces up before I felt her nails brush the small of my back, slipping under my shirt.

“I can,” she wrote.

I finished off and looked back at her, brushing my hand up and to her cheek before I moved it around and tugged her hair. She hissed when she fell back while I smirked and got up.

“Col!” Ellicia suddenly shrieked, making me chuckle lowly because he wasn’t even snoring his worst. It was soft purrs which told me he’d only managed to get back to sleep a few minutes ago.

“He’s not even that loud,” I told her, getting my bag and things together before I grabbed my phone just as my alarm started going off. I turned it off and looked back at her when she grabbed my free arm and pulled me back to her.

“I’ll show him what loud is,” she grumbled, her hands touching the side of my face and then sliding back and through my hair roughly. I closed my eyes when she pulled me in, crashing her lips to mine as she pulled me down with her.

I groaned, raising a hand and press a few fingers to her mouth, stopping her.

“I’m hungry. You hungry?”

“For you,” she answered, pushing my hand away to kiss me again. I pulled back and turned away to get my bag, closing my eyes tightly because now my head hurt from decisions and thoughts.

I wanted more than anything to get on her now and make loud noises but I knew that wasn’t the best idea. For Col’s sake, in particular, he doesn’t want to see or hear us like that.

“Rubie, can I kill him?”

“What? No,” I replied, turning to her to see her put on a devilish grin.

“I think I might kill him,” she leaned back on her hands and I took a deep breath, looked to Col as he slept and snored away.

“Not now or here at least,” I told her, moving passed with my things. “Coming for breakfast or staying?”

“The fuck you mean staying?” She growled, grabbing her bag and shoes before she rushed passed me and out. I clicked my tongue to the roof of my mouth before I followed and closed the door behind us.

“Jesus, Ell,” I hissed when she was having a swing at a bottle of tequila. I snatched it down and off her, giving her a crazy look. “It’s seven in the morning.”

“Let’s make it happy hour,” she shrugged, moving in to take it back and just smirked when I held it away. “I’m happy, Rubes. I deserve a drink since I never last night.”

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early,” she whispered, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss me softly. The taste of the tequila hit, making me pull back because to me, it definitely was too early.

“No,” I told her sternly, pulling it away when she reached for it again.

“The fuck are you? My mother?” She growled, shoving me back but I passed it to my other hand quickly and walked away. I held it up quickly when her hand slipped around it, making her take in a deep and angered breath.

“I’m your best friend. I’m here to look out for you and starting at seven in the morning will do no one good.”

“It’ll do me good,” she shoved my back, making me stumble forward. I caught my footing and turned back to her.

“And why’s that? How will it do you good?” I asked, moving back to her to catch her look, the look she gave when she knew she messed up something. “Why’d you ever start drinking anyway?” I asked, moving an arm around her neck as I let her take the bottle back. She looked down at it sadly before her expression changed completely but I knew she was just faking her appearance now.

“Because it’s fucking good stuff,” she said it as if I was dumb, making me roll my eyes and look away when she took a big sip, closing her eyes.

I leaned forward, touched my lips to her ear. “I know you’re lying.”

“And that’s all you’ll ever know,” she whispered back, her eyes dangerously dark now as I pulled my arm back.

“Why? Don’t you trust me with your secrets? I’ve told you all mine.”

“Your secrets are petty. Pathetic,” she spat back and I just shoved her off me and walked away because I wasn’t up for this side of her.

“Get yourself wasted. Go fuck some sicko. Don’t come back complaining to me,” I called to her as I started down the stairs.

“The only sicko I wanna fuck is you so see you later, honey,” she yelled back and I just grabbed my headphones and put them on to block it all out with my music.

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