Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 4

I walked into my dorm as dusk started to cloud over only to stop short when my side was a complete mess. I clenched my jaw hard, looking over my bed, the sheets half off as the doona laid in a heap on the floor, my pillows elsewhere. My cupboards had a few things knocked over while my desk had things over it as if someone was very eagerly looking for her cocaine.

I inhaled deeply, turning to close the door calmly as I told myself it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. My anxiety started jumping as I turned back around because I had all my things in the best places. I had my work and everything on my desk organised. I liked my bed clean and neat and I never keep my clothes on the floor like the brat I know.

Forgive and forget, I told myself, taking another breath as I moved over to pick up my clothes first, folding them all neatly back into my cupboards. I made my bed next and then put everything back into place on my desk and shelves.

It took only about half an hour to get it all back to how I liked. When I looked over everything, I nodded in approval and then walked back to my cupboards for clothes to change into. It was a party in the park so I knew it’d be cold but no doubt they’ll get a fire of something going… if that’s even allowed or not I’m not too sure.

I knew Rocks Creek was a National Park so I didn’t really know how we were going to get away with this. Maybe I shouldn’t go? I have plenty of work I can do here, have an early bed and have no problems, I thought as I changed my shorts for navy jeans. I reached behind me and pulled my shirt off before I put it on my bed.

I looked up when thudding suddenly came to the door, making me head over because obviously someone was desperate to thud and not knock.

I opened the door and took a breath when Ellicia pushed passed, her blonde hair a mess and her voice angered as she muttered, “we need to talk.”

“Yes. We. Do,” I replied bitterly and closed the door. I turned to her as she sat on my bed to kick off her black heeled boots, her makeup dark around her eyes and on her lips like usual, her hair half up in a messy bun while she looked like she just got hit by a train.

“Did you get into a fight?” I asked her, moving my arms across my chest as she groaned, shifting and touching her hand to the bleeding cuts on her cheek.

“The bitch had nails,” she gave me a look as I sighed because she always came to me to clean her up when she should be going to the nurse. I’m training to be a teacher, not a doctor, I’d tell her but she’d just reply with that I’m the only person she trusts, which I understood.

“What was it about?” I asked and growled a little when she pulled out a cigarette. I stomped over, making her chuckle as she held it away from me.

“Rubie, come on,” she told me, hand on my chest as she leaned back while I tried reaching for it. When she fell down onto her back, I got over her to take her wrist in one hand to pull it closer.

I hated it when she smoked. Especially around me and so I did everything to make her not. If it turned into a war or not, I didn’t care. Just as long as she didn’t smoke around me, I could bear her decisions.

“Give it to me.”

“No,” she laughed softly, shifting to pull her arm out of my grip before I swallowed hard, realising what exactly I was laying against. Her. Her body. I tensed a little, looking down at her as she gave me those light, happy eyes I liked to see. I stared into them, warmth spreading through my chest before I flinched when she touched her cold hand to my side, making me realise I was shirtless in this situation too.

My eyes widened and I growled a little, moving to snatch the cigarette from her and making her laugh before she turned her body against mine, pushing me off only to get on me and take it back.

“Elle,” I warned, giving her a look as she smirked, put it between her lips as she held my arms down, pinned against my body with her legs as she sat over my waist.

“It’s cute how hard you try to save me from these little things,” she mumbled back, raising her lighter to light it up as I put my head back and gave up. It was always useless fighting against her with anything, she was much more experienced and she was a patient fighter, meaning she let me take the cigarette so she could pin me down like this and take it back to get what she wanted.

“Want to get off me now?” I asked, looking back to watch her glance down over me with those seducing green eyes before they locked with mine as she put the cigarette to her lips again. I saw the desire race in them as my stomach turned in a way to say, ‘no thank you.’

“Alright, get off me,” I told her, getting uncomfortable because I wasn’t one for this kind of thing. Even staring at me with her beasty eyes was making me feel weird. I wasn’t one for sexual tension, heck, I hadn’t even done the deed.

“Why you so crabby?” She frowned, slipping off me to cross her legs as I sat up, my jaw clenched because now I was pissed off and uncomfortable. I glanced down at myself, my body nothing to what it was. I used to be so skinny and small, now I was the average size with muscle, abs that Ellicia pushed me to because apparently, I wouldn’t look too good without them. I agreed and I was glad she pushed me as hard as she did because I’m happy with my results and who I am because of her.

“I’m not,” I replied, getting up to put on the shirt I was going to put on before she came banging on the door. She hummed lowly in response as I buttoned up the black blouse and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows.

“You’re going to the party then,” she stated quietly, looking down into her lap as she brushed out her leggings.

“You aren’t?”

“Maybe later,” she shrugged as I sat down to put on my socks and shoes. I nodded in return before I moved over to my toiletries and put on deodorant, cologne and brushed my hair out with my fingers.

I looked at myself in the mirror, staring at my sharp jaw, my narrow face and cheekbones, my dark chocolate eyes and thin lips. My hair was starting to get the curls again, in need of a cut soon to how I liked it, most of it short but the top a few centimetres longer to keep spiked up slightly for the style. My skin was toned and naturally lightly golden.

“Actually, I’ll go with you,” Ellicia said and I looked away from myself and to her, realising she still needed to be helped and cleaned up. I walked over to the small sink and kitchen at the side of the room, getting a clean tea towel to damp it under the tap.

“Not looking like that,” I replied, walking back to her as she smiled back softly and sincerely. I knelt down before her, touched the towel to her cheek to get the blood of easily. “Does it hurt?”

“I’m no pussy,” she muttered back and I tilted my head with a sigh because she’d never admit if she was in pain or not. “We need to talk about how you keep taking my stuff without asking and then hiding it from me.”

“We also need to talk about how you destroyed my room,” I replied, sighing softly as she winced slightly when the cuts were clean but still open, luckily not deep but they were still fresh and delicate so I’m sure they stung. “Sorry,” I murmured, touching my other hand to her jaw to keep her head still when she pulled it back a little.

I felt her hair brush down over my fingers, tickling the back of my hand slightly as I moved the towel to wipe the small sparkles of blood on her chin. She took a small breath in and out, her breath hitting my face welcomingly, minty yet smoky. I swallowed, my eyes moving from her chin, her lips and to her eyes to realise she was staring back at me.

“What?” I asked, my throat clogged up suddenly and making me cough to clear it.

“You’re being extremely gentle,” she whispered, narrowing her eyes to me as I looked back down, noticed that there was no more blood she needed to be cleaned off. I put the towel down and looked back up into her emerald eyes.

“I’m a gentleman.”

“Ha,” she said blankly, slipping down from the bed and onto her knees in front of me. I watched her shift on her knees, her knuckles on the ground as her hair fell in front of her face. I had the urge to push it back but I kept my hands to myself because she did it herself as she raised her hands to take out her bun too.

“Back to destroying my room,” I swallowed and shifted back to get up, heard her groan angrily next. “Don’t ruin my room next time. Use your words.”

“Words? Like you listen to them,” she growled back, jumping to her feet to catch my hand tightly. I looked back at her from over my shoulder, her eyes wide with a look I didn’t know, I’d never seen it on her before. It was almost like she was begging without any words, just her eyes. They looked sad yet her expression looked like it was focused and deep in thought.

She pulled my hand, making me turn my body to hers as she touched her free hand to my shoulder, her hand shaking slightly as she moved it from my shoulder to my neck. It was warm now, matched the heat my own skin had where she touched me while she stepped closer. Then closer.

“There’s,” she started but then stopped, her jaw clenching suddenly as her eyes darkened again as if her brain had registered exactly what was happening. She was touching me the way a girl would touch her boyfriend or the way she would touch another guy she wanted to seduce. “Wow, there was something I wanted to say,” she told me, letting me go and stepping back as she touched her own hand to the side of her neck, glanced at me with a joyful look. “But I’ve forgotten.”

“You’ve forgotten or you don’t want to tell me?” I asked gently, not wanting to push the line because I hardly get this side of her. When she’s happy and she’s gentle and occasionally kind too, like now. “Elle,” I stepped forward but she fell back, making me stop because she moved so fast like she was afraid of me.

I stared at her in shock because she never showed fear yet she was here, running away from me. Why was she afraid of me? I’m her best friend, I would never hurt her.

“You’re acting strangely. Are you okay?” I asked and she nodded but didn’t reply with anything as she put her hands in her pockets and walked backwards until she was close to the door. And then she disappeared through it as I stood alone in the now dark room, knowing I had a party I was expected to be at but I also had a best friend to take care of too.

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