I found her. She was sitting on the roof of the building. It took a little while but when she wasn’t in her room, I gave up trying and just used Find My Phone, which let me up to the roof. The cold waved shivers down my spine as I walked towards her where she sat on the edge, my nerves going crazy when she had her legs hanging down.
“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” I told her but she didn’t reply, just kept her eyes forward as she smoked another cigarette. Much to my discomfort, I pushed myself to sit down next to her, my shoulder against hers because if I was going to fall, I was going to drag her down with me… kidding. There’s just no way that I can sit here, five stories high and not have her close for comfort.
“I’m sorry if I did anything,” I said, looking away from over the campus and to her as she continued to just stare out.
“I thought you’d go to the party.”
“I’d rather hang with you… literally,” I muttered, looking down at my hanging feet before I screamed out when she shoved me forward. She grabbed my shirt and yanked me back, laughing as I scooted away from the edge and her.
“You’re the devil, Ellicia. I don’t know why I’m even here,” I said, falling onto my back to look up at all the stars in the sky.
“I thought the devil was a man?” She questioned and I grunted when she fell back too, her head landing on my stomach to make it ache slightly for a second.
“Maybe you’re possessed by a demon,” I replied, feeling as my anger and fear drained away and I relaxed and watched the stars sparkle. “How are you doing though? Truly?” I asked, looking back down to her as she stared up at the sky.
“I don’t really know,” she whispered in response, turned her head before her eyes met mine, light and wide. I took a small breath and looked away to sit up, looked back at her when she groaned, her head now on my knees.
“Are you happy?” I asked next, touching my fingers softly to her forehead where her hair started. She stared back at me, her eyes dark and clouded so I knew she was holding something back. “I’m your best friend, Elle. I don’t want you keeping things from me, especially things that are bothering or hurting you,” I told her and looked over her in concern when she swallowed hard, her eyes tearing up.
Ellicia Walker crying? When did that happen? Never, she never cried. Something was wrong, something bad had happened. She’s hurt, she’s in pain. I panicked as I helped her up enough so I could hug her into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her petite body, felt it shaking against my own as my heart suddenly ached for her.
If she was crying, I was hurting and begging to know why.
“Fuck,” she muttered, her cries quietening as she sniffed and stopped herself from any more.
“It’s okay,” I replied, tilting her head up so I could meet her eyes. They were sleepy and sad, a few final tears falling out to which I wiped my thumbs across her cheeks to clean them up for her. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It-It’s nothing you should have to worry about… trust me,” she added with a mutter as I looked at her softly because I wanted to know. No. I needed to know. She was my best friend and for the first time ever, I held her as she cried. Something big was wrong and I had to know.
“You can’t keep this from me. Not when it’s hurting you. I know you have secrets, you’ll always have secrets you’ll never tell me and I accepted that a long time ago but this, this is different. I need to know why it has you crying, Ell. You,” I whispered, wiping her cheeks again just because I could, felt that there had been another tear running down the side. I took it away for her as I searched her face, her eyes and expression.
She looked sad about it. Her eyes were a mix of depression and rage as her expression gave off vibrant sparks that she appreciated what I’d just told her.
“There’s this stupid guy,” she muttered, taking my hands with hers to lower them down. I felt my heart drop at the word ‘guy’. So, some guy’s hurt her? I’ll have to deal with him, won’t I? “He’s given me his all,” she continued, making my heart skip a beat. Okay, maybe I won’t go and deal with him. Maybe he’s a decent guy?
“But?” I asked, figuring by her shaky voice and sad expression again that there was a ‘but’.
“But I’m a bitch,” she replied, giving me a sad smile that literally tore my soul to pieces. She gave me that smile when she knew she’d destroyed something she should have saved.
“If he’s worth it, he’ll forgive you for whatever you did,” I told her, returning a small smile as I let go of her hands. “I didn’t even know you were dating anyone. Is it that biker? From yesterday?”
“Sure,” she said, her voice blank again as she glanced away. “The guy’s stupid to even still be around.”
“That makes two of us guys then,” I smirked, leaning back against my hands as I threw my head back and took in the stars again. “Ellicia Walker, crying over a guy.”
“Shut up,” she growled, hitting me as I chuckled lowly, touched my hand to where she punched me. “He’s a good guy. Maybe I don’t deserve him.”
“You deserve the world, Ell. And that’s why I need to meet him, I need to make sure he’s in it for the long ride. I know some might think it’s impossible to stay with you but look at you and I,” I smirked, tapping her arm gently as she gave me her own smirk back. “Nothing’s gonna break us for a long time,” I told her, more like a promise just as my head wondered if this guy would get in between us. I kept my smile up so she didn’t suspect anything but on the inside, my spirits died down in thought.
What if he took her from me? How would I live with that? What happens if she ever preferred him more than me? Or what if he hurt her so much, all the walls she let down with me went back up and she pushed me away?
“You hate him already, don’t you?” She said, making me blink and look back at her as she just smiled softly. “You have nothing to worry about, Rubie. You’re the best guy in my life, I wouldn’t change that for the world.”
“Aww, aren’t you being all sweet?” I teased, making her roll her eyes as I smirked and glanced back over campus, so quiet and empty that it was hard to think that we were in the same place.