Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 6

“Rubie,” I heard Ellicia whisper, making me groan as my bed shifted and my doonas were brought up to let in cold air.

“What. Are. You doing?” I grumbled, my eyes opening slightly as I frowned at her before I felt her legs touch to mine and she shuffled close, put her head on my pillow in front of mine.

“I’m in a cuddly mood,” she whispered back with a small smirk as I raised a brow and looked over to Col but he wasn’t here and the sunshine was shining in, lighting the room up.

“Crap, what’s the time?” I muttered to myself, turning around to get my phone but it was two minutes until my alarm. I sighed, unlocking my phone to turn the alarm off since I was already awake and didn’t need it anymore. I put my phone down and frowned back at my best friend as she draped her arm over my stomach, her fingers drawing softly on my side.

“Did you hit your head or something when you got up?” I whispered, my heart starting to race when she slipped her bare leg between mine, turning her body against mine as I looked deeply into her eyes. “You have a boyfriend, don’t you? Isn’t this classified as cheating?” I asked, moving back as she groaned a little

“You’re so dumb, it’s cute,” she murmured, making me frown in confusion and wondered if I took that as an insult or compliment.

“Ah, thanks?” I replied and she chuckled lowly, touching her hand up to my face and making my nerves react weirdly. “You’re acting really weird. Please stop touching me like that,” I told her as I pushed her hand away and got out of bed, finding my jeans from last night to put on quickly over my underpants.

“Shit, you’re loaded, aren’t you?” She muttered in amusement, making me growl and give her a look in response. She smirked back in a cheeky way, mischief dancing in her eyes like wildfire with the orange sunshine over her gem green eyes.

“Don’t be a bitch to this guy, okay?” I told her and she pierced her lips together before she fell back down onto her back and pulled the covers over her. I frowned at her childish behaviour, figuring she must have slept well after last night. I enjoyed just being with her again, it’d been a while since we could be together, alone for a while and just talk about whatever we wanted to where she wasn’t so closed off and grumpy too.

“He’s not real,” she yelled under the covers so they were muffled. I frowned again and looked at her as she threw the covers down and off her face. “I lied.”

“Half of me says thank god,” I breathed out in relief, throwing on my shirt as I moved to sit on my bed opposite her. “Why did you lie?”

“Okay, I didn’t completely lie. I just bent the truth. There is a guy but it’s not the biker and it’s not anyone you think because you’re stupid like that,” she rambled, her eyes shining as her body language gave me everything to tell me she was extremely happy and open for just about anything today. Even telling the truth after she lied to me.

“Oh. Okay,” I replied slowly as she took a breath, her hands coming together as she twisted her fingers and played with them. “Who’s the guy?” I asked and she shrugged, her eyes leaving my face in a cheeky way again. “Ell, who’s the guy?” I asked, moving forward to take her hands since my brain couldn’t continue watching her fingers move like they were.

She looked back at me and then before I could even blink, she touched her lips to mine in a peck and then stared at me. I felt my cheeks warm up quickly when I realised what she’d just done. She kissed me. Lip to lip kissed me. It was quick and very poor… especially for my first kiss but my best friend just kissed me.

Kissed me.

She really did it.

What do I do? I thought as I just stared at her widely in shock because I was in frozen in place. She’d never kissed me before, I know there’s been times when she’s wanted to but I never let her and now she was talking about this guy giving her the world… Was she talking about me? She couldn’t have been talking about me. I’m just me. I’m too good for her, she doesn’t like me like that. This is probably just a trick to hurt me some more or something.

“Okay, don’t freak out,” she told me, holding my arms but I think I was already panicking, just passed through confusion. She bit her bottom lip adorably next, her hands squeezing my biceps for a moment. And then the colour from her face faded and she let me go because I was speechless, frozen still and staring. “Okay... fuck, um. You should know I like you, I have liked you more than a friend for a while now but maybe I shouldn’t have done that,” she pierced her lips tightly, looking at me as I took a deep breath when I realised I’d been holding my breath.

She likes me? Since when did that happen? I wondered as she looked over me once more but then got up.

“You know what, just forget it,” she muttered, getting her phone and then walking back as I felt my body heat up again from its frozen state.

“Elle, wait,” I called but then heard the door slam shut, making me mentally curse myself because that would have been really hard for her. She’s so closed off and so distant when it comes to her feelings but last night she had the guts to cry in front of me for the first time ever and mention that there was this guy she liked… Me. Now she confessed just now and I did nothing but stare at her.

That would have hurt her hard, I thought as I got up to get my socks and shoes, put them on quickly before I rushed to grab my work and things and pack my bag. I grabbed my phone and dorm key before I was running out, not bothering to lock the door behind me.

She likes me. She’s liked me for a while. This is news, crazy and big news to me. I’m still trying to get it wrapped around my head but I know what I what I’m doing.

I’ve never had anyone. Never had a girlfriend. Never done anything sexually because I’ve been waiting for the right girl. What if the right girl was just in front of me and had been for two years straight? What if Ellicia was the right girl for me?

It’s a risk I’m playing because I know how she works but I also don’t want her to be hurt by this. She takes things delicately sometimes and she can struggle too. She’s human, just like me and just like everyone else. She has her own feelings, her own issues and struggles.

Just as I got to the right corridor, my phone was ringing with Ebony’s name on the screen. I sighed softly, declining it only because Ebony walked out of the door, seeing me with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I know. My fault. I’m sorry,” I told her, passing her to knock on the door quickly before I slipped in, looked at Ellicia as she was bent down, packing her things into her duffel bag, sniffing tears.

“Leave me alone,” she growled at me, getting up and moving to her cupboard for more clothes to put in her bag. I took a small breath and closed the door behind me before I moved over to her.

“So, there’s this girl,” I started, kneeling down opposite her to start unpacking her bag again because she wasn’t leaving me on my watch. “She’s very strong but sometimes she can be delicate too. I met her a few years ago but every day, I seem to learn more about her. She’s miraculous.”

“Miraculous,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she hit my hands away and put the clothes I took out back in. I sighed softly and took them back out when she got up for more from her cupboards.

“When I least expected her to let her walls fall down a little, she told me one of her secrets,” I whispered when she came back down onto the floor, growled at how I had unpacked her bag again. “I was shocked, I really wasn’t expecting it, Ell. Please forgive me.”

“Whatever,” she muttered and as she went to get up, I moved quick enough to grab her and pull her to the ground. She made a noise, moving her arms to fight against me but I grabbed them and held them down, making her seethe and close her eyes tightly, angrily.

“I’m not letting you go until you say you forgive me,” I told her and she growled, turning her head to glare at me. She suddenly pulled at her arms but I held them tighter, putting them back to the ground as I sat over her waist so she couldn’t kick me or do anything with her legs.

“Three simple words, that’s it,” I whispered but she just relaxed and closed her eyes, telling me wasn’t going to say it easily. I bit my tongue hard, looking over how beautiful she looked, the sunshine going across her face in a line while her freckles showed, her face naked from makeup. She was naturally beautiful, I loved her freckles, I never knew why she hid it all and made herself look different with the makeup. She made herself look dark, slutty yet she was naturally sexy and pretty. She didn’t need to hide anything, not from me anyway.

As I leaned down against her, I shifted back and closed my eyes tight as I pecked her lips in the way she had kissed me before.

“The fuck was that?” She hissed and I hummed, shrugging softly as I laid on her, knowing I was too heavy for her to push off or get away from. She groaned lightly, her hands picking up my head when I let her arms go.

I felt my cheeks blush when she pulled my face to look back at her, my cheeks squishing in her hands slightly. I shifted over her, looking into her eyes deeply as she stared back into mine and I felt my gut and chest give of weird, warm tingles.

I inhaled sharply when she ran her hand around my neck and up against my head, in my hair as she pulled me down. When her lips touched mine, she kissed me softly as I pulled back by reflex.

“So, there’s this girl,” I swallowed, staring at her as she looked over me quickly. “And I want to kiss her but… but I don’t know… how,” I said slowly, averting my eyes as she pierced her lips and leaned up on her elbows.

“Little innocent Rupert,” she clicked her tongue to the top of her mouth and smirked softly as I clenched my jaw and got to my feet. I grabbed her bag and put it on her bed to unpack her things and put them away while she got up too.

“Where would you have gone?”

“Does it matter now?” She asked, her tone happy and light as I tensed when she moved her arms around my stomach from behind. I looked down and took a breath before I turned to her, grunted when she pulled me against her.

“You know how I am with this,” I mumbled, pushing her arms off me as I sat down on her bed.

“Right,” she muttered, pressed her hands to my cheeks, leaning in to push her lips to mine again. I didn’t know how to kiss her back so I just pulled away and looked down, ashamed because I’m nineteen years old and I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never been with anyone, I’m still a virgin and I’ve got no experience with love or whatever the hell I have with her.

She chuckled lowly, pulling my face back up. “Just do you,” she whispered as she kissed me again. I held my breath, feeling her lips kiss over mine before I told myself to go for it. I pressed my lips to hers in return, moving them to copy her, moisture and warmth coming from her lips onto my own.

My heart raced as my head became blank, my eyes closing the more we kissed. I felt her press against me, her hands touching my face and through my hair as I put my hands to her hips.

When I couldn’t keep holding my breath, I reluctantly pulled back but kept my forehead on hers as I took a deep breath, opening my eyes to see hers.

I swallowed, breathing from my noise hard as she dropped her hands from my head to under my shirt, her hands touching me in a way that made me uncomfortable.

I groaned and pushed her hands down again just as she kissed me again, my chest aching from my beating heart. I kissed her back how I had just before and then pulled away because she was touching me again and things were going too fast for me.

“Come on, Rubie. Don’t be such a party pooper.”

“I’m not comfortably like this. You know that,” I told her, passing her to go to my bag as she stayed quiet. “I have to get to class. I guess I’ll see you later to talk… about all this.”

“Fine,” she muttered and I looked back at her, sighed softly before I went back to her. She looked up at me as I held her arms with a grip and kissed her softly like one of those goodbye kisses I’ve read in books and seen in movies.

“I don’t want you keeping things from me. You don’t have to,” I told her softly, caressing her cheeks gently as she gave me her happy smile, small but better than nothing.

“Then we have a bit to talk about later. And I forgive you,” she whispered and I looked at her in surprise before I smiled because I really wasn’t expecting her to say it, even though I told her to.

“I forgive you too.”

“The fuck did I do?” She growled now, folding her arms over her chest as I gave her an obvious look but didn’t respond on that topic.

“I’ll see you,” I told her, giving her a small wave as I made my way out quickly since I was running late now but what just happened, what we just did, it was all worth it.

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