Unconditionally Heartless

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Chap. 8

“Col, scat,” Ellicia barked when I followed her into my dorm, finding Col on his bed, looking at his phone. He looked at her but with the look she was giving him, he held his hands up in surrender as he got up.

“Hurry up,” she ordered.

“What’s up your knickers?” He asked, grabbing his bag and making her scowl. I sighed, stepping back as she pushed him out and closed the door. She always got what she wanted, I thought as I put my bag down and quickly changed my shirt for a dry one.

“What do you need to hear?” Ellicia asked, kicking off her shoes to jump up onto my bed, standing on it as I looked back at her.

“Tell me you’re serious,” I replied, looking down to kick off my shoes too, pull off my socks. “Tell me you want to be with me like this and more. Not just for sex.”

“You’re kidding, right?” She asked, her voice cracking in a way that made me look up, thinking she was crying. Her expression was blue as she shifted and sat down on my bed simply. “Of course you’d think that though,” she muttered, shrugging and looking down sadly. I looked over, realised that I’d made her sad now. I sighed softly, kneeling on my bed to shift and sit down, moving my legs on either side of her as I pulled her into me.

“You’re the first girl I’ve ever kissed. You will be my first girlfriend, the first girl I’ll have.”

“Good,” she said, her tone demanding now as she sat up and looked back at me with a hard look. “You’re all mine then.”

“All yours,” I murmured, smirking because it wasn’t like there were other girls wanting me. Not that I think anyway. I watched her stern expression lighten as she tried to hide her smile but I still caught it.

I touched my hand up to her jaw, turning her face to me as I looked into her eyes sternly.

“That means you’re all mine too. No one else’s. Just mine,” I told her, watching nothing change in her eyes as she just smirked back. I grunted when she grabbed me into a tackle.

“Crap,” I yelped when I was falling off. I caught myself on my hands before I fell to the floor the rest of the way, hearing her laugh above me on my bed. I took a breath and sat up, watching as she got up and walked to me, stood over my waist as I looked up at her.

“Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” I asked because I was honestly still slightly confused.

“Nothing any less,” she smirked back, dropping onto my waist to move her arms around my neck in the one action. I took a small breath, shifting to sit up and return my arms around her. I smiled when her smirk continued to grow. I felt my gut light up before I looked at her weirdly when she just started laughing.

“What?” I chuckled, laughing softly with her but I didn’t know why. I tightened my arms around her, looking at her brightly as she calmed down enough to speak. “What’s funny?”

“What’s funny is,” she stopped to laugh again, poking my chest. “After nineteen years, you’re losing your virginity to the girl you used to hate.”

“Ha. So funny,” I said blankly, making her laugh a little again. “And I don’t hate you.”

“You used to.”

“Maybe because you were mean and making me do things I didn’t want. Like, run five miles every day with you... I hate running with you, by the way.”

“I know,” she smirked back and shifted to get up. “I hate running with you too. You’re too slow,” she replied, making me grumble and get to my feet again. I caught the look in her eyes then and I knew I’d just stepped into her trap, whatever that was.

I looked at her for a while, wondering what she was going to do and just when I thought she was going to give it up, she came in and captured my lips with hers, a harsh kiss as her hands cupped my neck.

I moved into it, tilting my head down for her as I kissed her back, touching my hands to her hips before I felt her undoing my shorts. I groaned, taking her hands as she sucked in a breath between my lips.

“Let me do this,” she whispered against my lips. I opened my eyes to meet hers as she brushed her lips over mine softly, twisting her hands out of my grip. I hesitated before I let her continue, butterflies erupting in my stomach as I cupped her jaw in my hands, closing my eyes again.

My heart was on a roller coaster ride with my head, my body wanting to pull back but my conscious not letting it because maybe this was what I truly wanted.

Was this going too fast? Was this right? I thought as I kissed her harder, my whole body reacting differently as my shorts loosened and her hand was around me within the moment. She pulled from the kiss, looking down as I became exposed and she was touching me, pumping me. I swallowed hard, my gut fluttering as I watched her before I felt my body wave over hard, making me groan as I leaned into her, burying my face into her shoulder.

“That… wow, you were really telling the truth,” she muttered as I took a deep breath to calm my body down.

“Why would I lie?”

“I don’t know!” She exclaimed, laughing a little as she suddenly pushed me back. I collapsed onto my bed, my heart racing fast as I stared up at the ceiling. I let my hands fall down to pull my shorts and underpants back up, did my shorts up with shaky hands.

“Look at you,” Ellicia laughed, crawling over me to slap my hands a little. “You’re shaking, that’s hilarious,” she grinned and I looked at her when she came into my sight. “You okay, big boy?”

“Yeah,” I breathed and glanced down as she lightly touched her hand under my shirt, her fingertips running across my stomach, tickling me slightly.

“Want to keep going?” She asked, her eyes giving off sparks as she lowered and touched her lips to where my shirt was no more. I sucked in my tummy a little by reflex as I moved my arm over my eyes. All I saw was darkness, yet all I felt was her and all I thought was her.

After a while, she pushed my shirt up higher, trailing her kisses up and then jumping to my neck. Her hand pushed my arm back, her hand taking mine as her fingers interlinked with mine. I opened my eyes to look at her as she hovered her face over mine.

“Not today,” I whispered, knowing we should stop because anyone could just walk in. Col could just walk in on us and I’m sure he and I wouldn’t like that. I’m sure Ellicia wouldn’t have cared but I also didn’t want to go too fast just in case everything comes crashing down straight away.

“Okay. Can I take you out tonight?” She asked and pecked my lips as I just stared at her. “Don’t look at me like that,” she mumbled and I took a moment to process what just happened. She asked me out.

“Like a date?”

“I feel like steak. And vodka,” she pecked my lips again, cutting me off from my chuckle. I moaned and kissed her back, moving my hands up to hold her face.

“I’d love that but don’t wear anything too slutty or dark,” I whispered, shifting to sit up as she curled her lips together, moving up onto her knees.

“Maybe,” she replied, holding her hands to the back of her heels as she leaned back, sitting over my legs. I slapped her legs hard in response, making her whine and fall forward to cradle them.

“They were good slaps too!” I laughed, touching her head before she sat back up and grabbed me to put me in a headlock. I grunted when my head suddenly expanded, heating up too as I pushed her down but she only moved around me, pushing my face into the blankets.

“I-I can’t breathe!” I informed her, grumbling it and then gasping in a breath when she let me go.

“Don’t go dying on me,” she said sternly, pushing me onto my back as I groaned and continued to roll. I fell off the bed, catching myself on my hands and feet before I got up and walked away, to the kitchen.

“Want a cuppa?”

“Hell yeah,” she replied as I put the jug on and got two mugs for us. We both hated coffee so tea it was since there was nothing else. I knew how she liked it, one teaspoon of sugar and milk while I liked mine straight and black.

“Hey, you okay for the tavern down the road?”

“Sure am,” I smirked to myself because I relatively liked that place. The outside setting was unreal, a band playing some times as firepits burned hot to keep everyone in the night warm. Inside was nice too but not as entertaining as outside unless you include the pool table. I love pool.

“Hey, I would like to make a booking for tonight,” I heard her say, making me guess she was on the phone. “Yep, sounds good. Outside for two,” she said next as the jug finished and I picked it up. “Just under Ellicia. With an E,” she added quickly, making me smirk because she hated it when people wrote her name wrong. I remember the first time I ever wrote it, I went along the lines of Alycia and I didn’t end up too good when she realised. It wasn’t really my fault but she made sure I never made that mistake again.

“That’s set for six,” she said to me as I added milk into her drink before I put the milk back into the mini-fridge, threw the tea bags into the bin and picked up the mugs.

I walked to her, “for one Ellicia with an E,” I smirked, catching her smile as she took it and sipped it immediately. She gulped, making a noise and making me guess it was a little too hot still.

“Hot,” I pointed out and she gave me a dark look as she put her drink onto my bedside table.

“No shit,” she muttered as I sat next to her and put mine on the table too.

“I like it when you’re happy and loose,” I told her, leaning in to kiss her cheek softly as she groaned a little. “It’s okay to have fun and be alive. And it’s also okay to not be okay occasionally too but if anything happens, I want you to talk to me about it. You usually do great but you still close off a lot so-.”

“So shut up,” she cut me off, moving to punch my chest lightly. “I’m okay today. I’m happy. I’m alive. Let’s see how long this lasts,” she smirked as she laid down, her hands tugging my shirt. “I’m also in that cuddly mood so come spoon with me,” she said softly and I looked at her happily because she really was happy. So happy by the looks of things. She would never be like this with me and now I’m seeing this whole new side of her and it’s magnificent. It makes me so happy too, proud that she’s getting more comfortable with me to open up more.

I smiled as I moved to her and laid down, moving my arms around her as she turned to lean her back to my front.

“What made you come out anyway?” I asked her, drawing my fingers on her arm randomly. “Why now?”

“Instagram,” she shrugged, making me frown in confusion, my fingers stopping for a minute. “I follow this user with couple pictures and quotes and all that. It got me thinking properly. I can’t keep wasting my life with different guys, I don’t want that anymore. I want someone I can keep hold to, one person I can trust and be with. Who I can muck around with still and someone who loves me for who I am… not just for sex.”

Wow, I thought because I didn’t expect her to go so deep into that. I continued moving my fingers against her skin, pressing my lips to her shoulder as I leaned up on my elbow and looked at her.

“I love you for who you are. I’ve always accepted you, I used to hate you but you can’t hate anything forever. I’m glad we overcame that.”

“Me too,” she smirked and looked back at me as I smiled at her. “You’re such a freak,” she muttered, pushing my head back down into the pillow as she turned back around, laughing softly as I groaned. I just told her I loved her and she can’t even say it bad? Maybe I was expecting that.

But did I mean it for real? I don’t know yet.

Love is a big thing, to love someone… I didn’t have to lie about what Ellicia was to me. She was the first girl in my life, my first everything basically so, of course, I love her. But was I meaning it in my words?

“Tell me more about what’s on Instagram,” I whispered to her, wanting to know what else she’d been looking at.

“I see a video or picture of a couple and I want that,” she murmured back, shifting to turn to me. “Or I read about what worthless guys do and it matches up to all the other boys I’ve been with and I think, I always choose the bad ones. So what if I go a little good,” she waved her hand, indicating to me with a cheeky grin. “Who’s more good than you? But it’s not just that.”

“I was about to say,” I exclaimed and she smirked, put her hand against my chest.

“It’s the fact that whenever I push you away, you don’t give up on me. You give me all your attention, all your time when you know I need it most. And you know who I am, you know how to handle with me,” she whispered and I closed my eyes when she pecked my lips for a kiss, moving her hand up to play with my hair. “There’s no one like you.”

“And there’s no one like you,” I put in, giving her a crazy look which made her chuckle softly as she twirled her finger in my hair. “Hey, can we just do this forever?” I whispered, closing my eyes when it felt so nice. Just laying here with her, talking easily and there’s no problems and no arguments, we’re just us and it’s good. It’s perfect actually.

“That’d be nice,” she murmured, her thumb caressing my cheek lightly as the corners of my mouth quirked up to a smile. I peeked my eyes open and grinned when she was watching me. “What was that?” She laughed as I shifted to sit up but reach over her.

“Nothing,” I replied, getting my drink and sitting back against the bedhead. “I have class at three. What’s the time?”

“I don’t know,” she grumbled, turning to get my phone from the bedside table. “Twenty to.”

“I should get going soon,” I muttered, sipping my tea but then gulping it down since it wasn’t too hot anymore. I reached over her again to put the empty mug down, glanced down when she buried her head into my side.

“Have a nap while I’m gone.”

“Trust me, you’ll need the nap more,” she murmured back, making my stomach turn as I looked down at her.

“We’ll see,” I replied and she just closed her eyes, relaxing into me as I touched my hand to her head, brushing my fingers through her hair gently, over and over.

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