Feisty Francesca

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#40 Who knew Joshua had a smirk?

He’s not a cute little puppy anymore and I’m not sure if he’ll ever go back to that now that I’ve felt that small spark inside of me, that unexpected reaction to being so close to him, seeing him almost naked, feeling his hand brush my ass…

No, Joshua definitely doesn’t look like a puppy when he opens the door in his jeans and a simple black T-shirt, using one crutch to get around on his sprained ankle. I follow him inside, surprised to find that I’m checking out his ass as he walks away from me. It’s tight as fuck.

“You should be using both of your crutches,” I tell him, watching him struggle with just the one. “Your sprain will take longer to heal if you’re not careful.”

“Are you here as my nurse or my friend?” Joshua asks, his voice having an unexpected hard edge to it.

“She’s one and the same person.” I sit down on my usual spot on the edge of the loveseat and he lowers himself onto the couch, wincing while he lifts his foot onto the coffee table to elevate his ankle. “It’s actually better to put it on the couch with you and prop some pillows under it,” I advise him, moving closer and checking how he’s healing. “It’s swollen, probably from elevating it wrong and moving around too much. You should put some ice on it.”

“Fran, I really don’t want to talk about my ankle right now,” he says with a sigh. “If I want someone fretting over me, all I have to do is call my mother. I want to talk about what happened.”

“Right.” It’s impossible to stop worrying about what he’s doing to his ankle, though. I don’t know if it’s my nursing training or my nurturing side, but I have to get up and check his freezes for ice. I can’t help myself.

“Seriously?” Joshua laughs when I come back with a bag of peas.

“It’s all you’ve got. I will pick you up a brace and some proper ice packs later today,” I promise him. I wrap the peas in a towel and make him shift so he’s sitting sideways on the couch. I prop some pillows under his ankle and then carefully put the ice towel on it. “Thirty minutes,” I murmur to myself, setting the timer on my phone.

“You’re real piece of work, nurse Berger,” Joshua says, looking up at me with a little smile.

“You’re a horrible patient, Mr. Chambers,” I retort, returning his smile a little nervously. “Now that I’ve done my duties as your primary caregiver, I guess we can have that dreaded talk.”

He nods and his eyes follow me while I go back to the loveseat and take off my shoes so I can pull my legs under me. “Start by telling me what happened,” he says, cocking his head to the side. “You rambled a lot about James and my cock and something about my hair, but I didn’t fully grasp what I did to make you freak out like that.”

“You didn’t do anything,” I assure him, my cheeks heating up already. “Simply put, I fell asleep in your bed and we ended up snuggling while we were asleep. When I woke up, I tried to get away from you without waking you up, and while I tried to roll away I felt your erection pressed up against my leg, but I wasn’t completely sure if that’s what it was, so I lifted the blanket to see if I was right.”

“And you were,” Joshua adds, looking a little embarrassed. Good. At least I’m not the only one feeling awkward.

“Yeah, I was.” I giggle from the nerves and he smiles at that, his gaze shifting to my lips. “So, anyway, while I was looking down there, you moved your hand to my ass and then you woke up and asked me why I was staring at your cock.”

Joshua shakes his head. “That’s not exactly what happened.”

What is he talking about? I remain silent, looking at him while he struggles to find the right words. After a while, he gives up on putting proper sentences together and just rushes out what he was holding back.

“I woke up before that, when you ran your hand though my hair.”

“W-what?” I ask, leaning back, like my body wants to put move distance between us even though I’m already pretty far away. “You woke up before I even lifted the blanket?”

He nods, looking down at the floor. “You just felt so good against me, so warm, so… right. And I was scared that if I moved that you might feel my morning wood against your leg, so I tried to keep still and think about ice and my grandmother and car crashes and stuff, but the damn thing wouldn’t go down.”

“You think about your grandmother when you try to get your cock to be a good boy?” I ask, giggling again. God, I’m so nervous it’s ridiculous.

“It usually works,” he mumbles. “Just not with you that close to me, I guess.”

We’re both silent, not looking at each other. Destiny’s advice to just put things out there and be honest comes back to me, and it worked well with James, so I might as well be completely real with Joshua as well, right?

“Does that mean you’re attracted to me?” I ask so quietly I’m not sure he heard me.

“Do you really need to ask me that?” Joshua counters. “Obviously I am. I’ve been since our first conversation on the phone.”

My heart does a little flip at that, the stupid treacherous bitch. There is something so nice about not being told that it was a phone conversation that ignited the spark for him. Not my looks, but just my voice, or what I said to him.

“So… you saw me staring down at you the entire time?” I go on to ask, cringing internally.

“Yeah, every second of it.” He looks up at the same time I do, our eyes meeting briefly before glancing away again. “You took your time.”

I shrug. “I liked what I saw.”

Oh my fucking God, Francesca, what the fuck did you just say?

This is so not what I was planning on telling him. I was going to say that I’m completely committed to James, that there is nothing going on between us, and that if he has a thing for me that he needs to shove it where the sun don’t shine. Not in those exact words, but that was the gist of it. Instead, I tell him I liked looking at his cock. Great. Good job, Fran.

“What does that mean?” Joshua asks, sounding unsure. “You’re still with James, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And does he know…?”

“I told him everything.”

Our eyes meet again and this time we don’t chicken out. His eyes are lighter than James’ eyes, but blue as well, and right now they are a little misty. Joshua pushes his curls out of his face and gives me a small smile, trying to break the tension.

“I guess that means that you’re here to tell me that nothing can ever happen between us, huh?” He nods when he sees the answer in my eyes. “Telling me that you like the way my cock looked in my shorts isn’t really the best move then, Fran.”

“I know,” I grunt. “I just get all word-vomity when I’m nervous.”

“I noticed, it’s really cute.” Joshua is smiling fondly at me.

“Wait – wait!” I exclaim suddenly. “If you were awake the whole time… Oh. My. God. Josh!”

“What?” he asks, smirking a little, already knowing what I’m going to say.

“You grabbed my ass!”

“Please, I just rested my hand there ever so slightly,” he argues with an eyeroll. He looks smug and it’s oddly sexy.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” I tell him, getting a little angry now. He did it on purpose. That’s so… well, I don’t know what it is. I want to say it’s wrong, but I’m actually surprised at how bold he was with that one single move. In a good way. I’m getting to know a side of Josh that I didn’t even know existed.

“You liked it,” Joshua says, still sounding uncharacteristically sure of himself. “I could feel the shiver going through your body and your nipples got hard against my side.”

Well fuck me. Of their own accord, my nipples grow hard right now, just from hearing him say that. What the fuck is wrong with me? I cross my arms over my chest to make sure he won’t see my reaction, but of course that only draws his attention down to my boobs.

“Ah,” Joshua says with a twinkle in his eyes. “Good to know.”

“Shut up,” I bite out. “This isn’t funny. I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“And yet you told me you think I’m hot,” he reminds me of my nervous ramble that morning after waking up wrapped around him. “And… something about my hairs. I didn’t quite understand that part.” He runs his hands through his blonde hair with a smile. “I guess you like curls, huh?”

“I wasn’t talking about those hairs.” What the hell, I’m already fucking up royally. Might as well just put it all on the table, right? “I was talking about your… your happy trail, snail trail, garden path, stairway to heaven, whatever you want to call it.”

He looks down at himself even though he’s wearing a shirt and there’s nothing on show. “Oh, okay. And you think that’s hot?”

“Yeah. It’s a lot darker than your blonde hair. Made me wonder about the color of your pubic hair.”

Oh my God, Fran, stop talking! Abort mission, abort abort abort!

Joshua doesn’t mind my nervous word-vomit at all. He’s smiling brighter than he has this entire conversation. “Do you want to see? Just say the word.”

“Stop it!” I grab a pillow from behind me and chuck it at his face, hitting him a little harder than I meant to. Still, it’s just a pillow, so his smile is still in place when the pillow bounces off and lands on the floor.

“Just for the record, I was dreaming about you that night, so that erection wasn’t just random.” His eyes are still on me, a small smile playing around his lips when he sees that I’m crossing my arms over my chest again. “I’ve been dreaming about you quite a lot lately.”

Okay, we’re not getting anywhere if we just keep telling each other how hot we are for each other. Plus, I’m not. Not really. I don’t want to jump his bones like I want to do with James. I’m not being fair to Joshua by making him feel like he’s got a shot.

“Look, I’m with James, and I love him,” I state bluntly. “Sure, I think you’re hot, but I don’t want to be with you.”

His smile falters and he has to work to keep the sadness in his eyes from taking over his entire expression. “I figured. That’s why I never said anything. You’re always talking to me about your relationship issues, ruffling my hair and calling me a cute little puppy. I can take a hint, Franny. I’m not so dense that I though those were signals of you coming onto me. You just got my head a little scrambled when I woke up with you wrapped around my body and your eyes trained on my cock. And this conversation hasn’t exactly helped either.”

“Sorry.” He’s right, I’m being totally unfair to him.

“It’s okay, I knew that we’d be nothing more than friends from the start.” He shrugs, but then he freezes and panic becomes evident in his face. “We’re still friends, right? Or is the talk where you tell me that because I have a few tiny little inklings of feelings for you, you can’t hang out with me anymore? Did James tell you to stop seeing me? He did, didn’t he? Of course he did, you told me about his jealousy issues. Fuck. This is it then, huh?”

“No,” I say quickly. “No, this isn’t it. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little weird now, but I still want to be your friend. I also wanna stay in the band, if you’re okay with that.”

“Of course, it wasn’t even a real band before you showed up,” he says with a grin. “It was just me and Yord drinking beers and jamming. Is James okay with us hanging out after what happened?”

“Sort of,” I say, grimacing. “He’s obviously not thrilled, but he knows what music means to me and how much you’ve helped me rediscover my passion for it. I can stay in the band, and we can hang out as a group, but you and me alone, watching movies on the couch… I think it would be better for the both of us if we stopped doing that.”

Joshua nods. “You don’t want to lead me on. I get it.” He studies my face and that small sexy smirk pops back up, making me wonder how I never noticed how hot he is. “Or maybe you’re also a little scared you’ll get carried away and kiss me? Hmm. Interesting.”

“No, that’s not it at all.”

We both know I’m lying, so I just huff and lean back in my seat, putting my arms around my knees.

“Now what?” I ask with a sigh.

“Now we know that I’ve got the hots for you and was hoping you were single again. And we know that while you think I’m hot and I can get your nipples hard just by talking to you, you’re in love with your boyfriend and trying to make things work with him.” Joshua laughs when I throw another pillow at his head. “We go back to being friends, make music together, and I go back on the dating apps.”

“Oh, okay, good for you.” I sound a little mean when I say that, even though I don’t mean to. I just didn’t expect him to say that.

“I’m not going to pine after you for three years like Thomas did, Fran,” Josh states. “I’m not a complete idiot. If you change your mind, feel free to come back over here to tell me how hot the hairs on my stomach are or snuggle up to me in bed. Don’t wait too long, though, because I’ve been ready to find myself a girlfriend for a while now, and if you’re not interested, I plan on finding someone who is.”

I don’t know how to answer that, so I just nod. That’s a really healthy way of looking at things, and a lot more mature than I expected from someone who’s only 22. Then again, this whole conversation was nothing like what I thought it would be.

My phone beeps loudly and I realize I need to take his ice pack off. I put the peas back in the freezer and hang the wet towel over the back of a stool.

“I guess I’ll go back home,” I say stupidly, looking down at him. Normally I would hug him goodbye, but he’s stretched out on the couch so much that I’d basically be throwing myself on top of him, and that wouldn’t be all that smart. Besides, my nipples are still betraying me and it’s bad enough that he can see that – he doesn’t also need to feel that. I need to buy some bras with more padding if this is going to become a regular occurrence around him.

“Bye, Fran,” Josh says, raising his hand in a lame wave. “Say hi to James for me.”

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