Chapter 29 - Melody
Just like that, all the pieces fell in place together again. All those lonely months were erased. Every single tear I’d cried, felt worth it, to feel like this again.
That feeling of dread was gone. The unfamiliarity from earlier that day had evaporated. We were Angel and Snow again and we took off again right where we left things before he moved half a world away.
And deep inside of me I knew that no matter how far we were apart, we’d be able to survive, if he wanted us to. What we had, felt like a stronger force than time or distance, despite the fact that Knox was reluctant as hell to admit it.
It was late that afternoon that we stumbled back into my hotel room. The whole day we’d been stealing little touches, which turned into little kisses, which turned into unstoppable kisses. We’d been kissing our way down the corridor, and the moment that door opened, our hands were unable to get enough of each other, quickly enough. We were a thunderstorm about to be unleashed, that pressure was building in the atmosphere. Lightning bolt after lightning bolt shot right through my body, I was electrified.
I tasted him on my lips, felt him with my fingertips. I’d been craving him for way too long, I was on the verge of combusting. His eyes were wolfish and dark, his movements calculated and filled with intent. He was kissing me so hard that I was staggering backward, we were both absolutely famished for this unfolding inferno.
He attacked my tongue with his, again and again. We were almost-frantic with need. His lips, his forehead, his nose were all crushed against mine, our kiss was getting messier and dirtier by the second, faster, faster again.
He pushed me onto the bed, grabbed me by the hips and positioned himself right over me. It was madness, it was compulsion, lust burned between us unrestrained and with hellish intensity.
His hand moved to my ass and he rubbed himself against me, his erection digging into my groin. I moaned as I fisted his hair. We were both grinding now, clothes, way too many clothes, creating a frustrating barrier between us.
I reached for the hem of his shirt, tugging at it, then impatiently slipped my hands underneath instead, needing to feel him, not fabric. His head moved downward, kissing a hot, messy trail down my neck and collarbone, then I felt his teeth scrape against my skin as he groaned, his hand finding my cleavage through my shirt.
Shivers exploded all over my skin, I arched my back to move closer into him. We were going to destroy each other if we kept going like this.
I yanked off his shirt, and he nearly ripped mine at the seams as he pulled it forcefully over my head.
His mouth immediately found my cleavage over the lace of my bra, his tongue swirling hot and determined, evoking a reaction out of me that was both intense and torturous. My nipples strained against the fabric, almost painfully, and even more so when he tugged lightly with his teeth. I slid my hands up and down his back, his skin burned against mine like a chemical-fuelled fire. There was so much heat between us, so many flames dancing all around us.
“I’m going to fucking devour you, Snow, it’s been way too long,” he groaned out a threat, and shivers coursed over my spine again.
His abdominals spasmed against my hand when I ran my fingertips over it, then lower to unfasten his pants.
“We’re going to have to move faster, Snow,” he tugged down his pants, then impatiently pulled at my skirt.
“I’ll give you a hand,” I teased, tangling my legs across his waist as I bucked my hips and reached for my lower back, undoing the zipper.
“Fuck, of all the places to put a fastener - right where you can’t see it,” he unceremoniously wrestled me out of my skirt and underwear in half-a-second flat.
As aroused as I was, I started to giggle at his impatience, but his mouth came down on mine hot and hard again a moment later, stifling the sound, and a second later I was panting, instead of laughing again because he slipped his tongue inside my mouth again, rolling it around, driving me to insanity as he started teasing my entrance - up, down, angling his pelvis to dig deeper into me. He was thick and hard and I craved for him to put me out of my misery and make love to me just like we used to.
He rubbed against me, lifting up my hands, pinning them above my head, intertwining our fingers, every pore on my bare skin dripping with anticipation, my heart slamming wildly inside my chest to a beat far faster than his tongue.
I let out a long, husky moan as he entered me at last. The friction - God the friction between us was molten fire. He moved in and out slowly, until I took his full length, adjusting my hips to accommodate more of him, and for a second it almost felt too tight, but then he started moving again and I sighed because it felt even better than what I remembered.
He gasped for air, ripping his mouth from mine as he suddenly stopped.
“Condom - fuck...”
“Emergency contraception afterward,” I countered, my body burning with need. The last thing on earth I wanted was to stop right now.
“If you’re okay with that...”
“Yes, keep going Knox,” I almost-pleaded, not wanting to give up the liquid heat between us.
Slowly he picked up pace again, then lifted my leg so it rested over his shoulder. My chest heaved against his, what was happening between us, was better, and so much more intense than any of the previous times. The room started spinning around me, I had to close my eyes as I swear I was getting vertigo. Each stroke was hard and solid, and I writhed underneath him as he hit that sweet spot over and over again at maximum impact.
“I need you Snow. So much more than you know,” he whispered against my mouth, but I could only respond with a guttural moan until I inhaled another breath into my oxygen-starved lungs.
“Need you too,” I admitted, wanting to say so much damn more than just that.
Our lips slammed together hungrily again and we were existing inside our own universe, and we were hanging some more stars on the canopy of the sinfully dark galaxy that we created ourselves.
I cried out his name and it felt like the world was ending again, but in the best way, because the orgasm that ripped right through me was like a black hole, sucking every last drop of energy right out of me. And Knox had been right, because I could’ve sworn that I was inside a deep, dark tunnel of stars, seeing every single constellation known to man and possibly a few more as well.
And that pushed him over the edge as well, because his fingers tightened around mine, and his body shattered and pulsed madly against mine, releasing his liquid heat, while he sucked my bottom lip and let out the deepest guttural moan.
We were frozen for a few moments like that, just desperately clinging onto each other, chasing air back into our lungs, too depleted to move.
“That was worth every single sleepless night I’ve had since I got here,” he finally broke the silence, still breathing heavily, and I smiled against his lips as he pressed another kiss onto mine as he withdrew.
“Still having dreams?” I asked with a little frown, suddenly realizing what he was probably referring to.
Our limbs tangled again immediately, and we were lying in an intimate embrace.
“Yeah, but it has changed. It’s not as frequent as it used to be, but still...” he said vaguely. “Are you still having dreams, Snow?”
I nodded. “It got worse right after you left,” I admitted softly, hearing him inhale sharply and feeling his muscles contract underneath me. “But it’s less frequent now.”
“I wish I could take it away, Snow,” he placed a kiss onto my forehead, and I smiled, because I felt so happy and content in his arms. I wasn’t drowning anymore - in loneliness, in heartache, in desperation, because I had everything I wanted right in my arms.
“I’m willing to bet I won’t have another dream tonight,” I sighed and he adjusted our positions so that my head rested on his chest.
I listened to the steady beat of his heart as we chased our breath again. His fingers ran through my hair, and it was as though neither of us had words again, but for a completely different reason this time.
“Why didn’t you tell Ron about me?” The question that had been playing on my mind slipped out.
“What?” His body went rigid underneath mine.
“Nevermind, that’s a stupid question,” I tried to backpedal, remembering that there were no promises between us.
He sighed. “I... this is hard to explain, but I’ll try to, because I know what you must be thinking right now.”
I lay motionlessly in his arms, biting my bottom lip, hoping this wasn’t going to make my heart hurt again.
“I told you that I wanted to start over, in a place where no-one knew me or what had happened. Where people didn’t look at me and felt pity. Where I was just another, ordinary guy without a chequered past. And I suppose... I’ve been quite vague about my past - all of it - because I wanted that fresh start. And... we left things between us as friends, so I couldn’t well tell Ron that I had... a girl.”
“Okay...” I said, feeling wounded, but realizing that he was exactly right - when he left, he expressly said that we left each other as friends. What was wrong with me for even asking that?
“But it doesn’t mean that I don’t... feel anything for you, Snow,” he said, and the air whooshed out of my lungs again. Because it felt as though I was right on the verge of getting my heart broken again.
“Because... I do...”
My heart was slamming wildly inside my ribcage.
“What do you feel, Knox?” I asked softly, wanting so badly to hear him say that he was in love with me too.
“A lot more than what I should be feeling towards someone who is a friend,” he admitted, and I felt my lips curl upwards into an involuntary smile, even though he didn’t’ say what I was really hoping he would.
“I tried to forget you, Snow. I’ve been trying to fight it, especially since you said you’d be coming to visit. Because the truth is, you wield power over me, and it hurt so much to walk away from you the first time. I think... perhaps I was trying to protect myself - us both.”
And just then it felt like the most honest conversation we’ve ever had.
‘I love you, Knox Vaughn. With every single breath I take.’
“I have feelings for you too, Knox. Feelings that are too big to contain inside my heart sometimes,” I admitted, wondering how much I should say.
“We have a week, Snow,” he sighed, and my heart sank into my shoes, because he was talking about me leaving again. About us ending again.
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” I barely-whispered back, and I knew he heard me because I heard his heart contracting faster again.
“We live worlds apart, Snow. For at least another year, until you finish your studies. The last thing I want for us both is the pressure of trying to keep a long-distance relationship alive. Because it is pressure, Snow. And it is hard - a lot harder than what it might sound.” He paused to let those words sink in before he spoke again.
“But let’s not think about that now. We have a week. A week of just being you and me, without any of the other problems in the world weighing on our shoulders. Let’s not spoil the time that we do have by talking about us ending again.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Are you okay with that? With us being together again while you’re here?”
“Yes,” I whispered, but it was a lie. Because my heart craved nothing more than a promise, right then.
And that was how I ended up sleeping in Knox Vaughn’s arms for the fourth time. I asked him to stay that night, and he did without a moment’s hesitation. Because as much as his words told me that he didn’t want a relationship with me right now, somehow when we were just together without saying anything, it felt more real than any of the words that came out of his mouth.