Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Wamakai would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Confessions of a Philophobic Hopeless Romantic

By Wamakai All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Romance

Chapter 1

"I can't believe it's happening! It's finally here! Just think, in like... three hours! Is it really three hours? I'll be married in three hours!"

Alice Kamau has been running around like a headless chicken for the last six months trying to get her wedding together. As her best friend, I have naturally elected to help her with whatever it is she needs. It's the last steps to the wedding and she seemed alright... up until two hours ago when her mother came to wake us so we could get ready.

Her older sister, Hope, watches on and smiles serenely in that special big-sister way and rolls her eyes at me. She knows what it's like to have those jitters but she's very happy for her sister. Thankfully, she's the Maid of Honour and not me. I'd be just as frazzled as Alice if that was the case.

"Oh my God! I'm going to be late, aren't I? What if someone says they object to the wedding? Oh my God, Oh my God! I think I'll just die if that happens. I mean, what if the church burns down? Or something happens to the priest?"

I cross my arms and shake my head.

"Maybe a lemon-cart will fall in front of the president's entourage forcing everything to a standstill and cause a massive traffic jam from here to Nakuru." Alice manages a smile at that.

"Or maybe it will hail and a large one will fall on the pope's head forcing every clergyman to postpone all services on account of emotional distress," says Hope stepping in.

"Or a meteor could hit the earth and we could all die in like... three minutes!" I can't help but add."Or, I could be heading into a cage of hungry lions to feed them..." chimes in Alice, now jovial as I have always known her to be.

"Or everything could go just fine. Better than fine. This is your big day Lulu," says Hope kissing her sister's cheek and giving her a squeeze, "it's going to be fine."

Alice beams at her and then turns her glassy-eyed gaze to me.

"You're right. David will be at the altar waiting for me. In three hours, I will be Mrs. David Faulu and nothing is going to stop me... save divine intervention."

"We've all said our prayers Alice. Relax."

"Easy for you to say," she says with a chuckle.

This has been the trend for the last few days. First she's happy, then she's sad, then she's scared, then she's frustrated that things don't work out and then she's eager to get this wedding over with.

I for one am glad I'm not the one standing up there.

I love romance as much as the next hopeless romantic. I love watching people fall in love and find their happily-ever-after. I love the idea of a love that lasts forever. I gush at all those mushy movies and I cry every time the hero and heroine finally find each other and then he gives cute little speech and then goes down on one knee... it's pure magic every time.

Until it happens to me.

The last time I had to contend with a potential love-interest is one of the most cringe-worthy moments I have ever had to face. Note, one of.

James was a great guy. He was sweet and he was cute. He was raised well which you could see by the gentlemanly way he acted towards everyone. Even outright jerks like my workmate, Kevin, were no match for his awesomeness.

And then he had to go and ask me out.

I have never been more embarrassed by anything in my life... almost. And I am the queen of embarrassing moments in my circle of friends. That particular experience has basically guaranteed that I will never see him again.

Poor guy.

To be fair, he did have a bit of a temper. I only threw up on him a little... and I might have said some awful things before that that I don't remember on account of my being drunk at the time.

Okay, yes, I had been drinking rather heavily. I had it on good authority that liquid courage was good for such situations. Leave it to me to be that awkward drunk woman in the middle of the day while following this sage advice. And I had been all too sober of the fact that our meeting was imminent.

At least he had the decency to drop me off at my place. Needless to say we have never met again. I don't think that's such a big loss given the situation. It's something we could laugh about but not, you know, with each other. Alice still won't let me live it down.

That is a sneak-peek into my romantic life. It is barren and riddled with pitfalls. I don't dare to venture there if I can help it at all.

Of course, I do envy girls like Alice who get her Prince Charming and get to do all those fun things that go along with being truly, madly, deeply in love with someone. I'm not even sure that's possible...

A car-horn beeps from somewhere outside Alice's window and she dashes over to it. Introspection time over.

"It's my dress! And I think that's the hairdresser. It's almost time! Wah, I can't wait!"

She does a silly little happy dance and runs out of the room to greet her guests.

I truly am happy for Alice and I wish her well. David is an amazing guy and I just know they'll be happy together. I may not have my Prince Charming and the thought of even meeting him may make me want to throw up, I'm so nervous, but as long as I can live vicariously through my friends, that's good enough for me.
Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Wamakai
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

263Adder: Okay so I adore this story. I only knocked one star off plot for historical inaccuracies because I'm a bit of a stickler for that. The ending broke my heart though, considering you already changed history couldn't you (SPOILER) change it a bit more and have them together!!!! I want an alternative...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

MelanyFrey: This story is just so realistic and so amazingly written that I felt I was a part of it. It starts off completely ordinary, describing the lives of three young brothers, then slowly shifting the focus on one of them, putting him into the spotlight and following him into this unusual, but yet so r...

Animeviewer: It is one of the best stories I've ever read. This story will have you riding a roller coaster of emotions and nearly dying to know what happens next.You will get very attached to the characters and in my case I relate well with some of their very traumatic or emotional experiences, Just Juliet f...

Sandra Estrada: I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...

LouiseJ2: I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...

Jordan Young: *ALERT FOR POSSIBLE SPOILERS* Where to start? I don't know how to sum up this review, this story was absolutely sensational. Brilliant. Flawless. I loved every single bit of this story, it is truly amazing. I read this story in fifteen hours, it is magnificent. I loved everything about it, the p...

Jenn Deering: This is a go-to story for when you're needing a little happiness in your life. It's well-crafted, and characters are true to their show-selves. The pace is right, there are minimal grammatical errors, and the plot is fresh.

MavisMcQueen: "To Live Again" is a well crafted, highly engaging, heart vibrating tale surrounding our favorite Elven King. The author will keep you engrossed until the very end and by that time you will feel so strongly for Clara and the other characters that you will never want it to end...like ever. Thrandu...

More Recommendations

catd69: Karim is a very talented writer. When I started reading his journey it took me into the book and I was in the story till the end. I've never felt this way with any other writers stories. If you want to read a gripping adventure, this will be the one book I would suggest you pick.

sambolie: Couldn't stop reading this!! Beautifully engaging story & I love the richness of the characters. I hope to see the next volume soon! I can't wait to see how the girls carry on to Invasion Day with all that happened.

Hudson: Your story was fantastic Erin! The Rising Sun was one of the first stories I read on Inkitt, and I have to say I don't regret the three to four days I spent pouring through the story.Probably the biggest strength I see in your writing is your characterisation of Eliana, Oriens, and the rest of th...

colt: i love your books! all of them! i am so happy for you! when i first read your book i thought "this seems really interesting" and i just got hooked had to have more, i wondered if you had a sequel to the first one, and you did, i was so excited that i had to start reading it. your series left me t...

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!
King's Lament

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!
Spectra

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."