{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Wamakai would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Confessions of a Philophobic Hopeless Romantic

By Wamakai All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Romance

Chapter 1

"I can't believe it's happening! It's finally here! Just think, in like... three hours! Is it really three hours? I'll be married in three hours!"

Alice Kamau has been running around like a headless chicken for the last six months trying to get her wedding together. As her best friend, I have naturally elected to help her with whatever it is she needs. It's the last steps to the wedding and she seemed alright... up until two hours ago when her mother came to wake us so we could get ready.

Her older sister, Hope, watches on and smiles serenely in that special big-sister way and rolls her eyes at me. She knows what it's like to have those jitters but she's very happy for her sister. Thankfully, she's the Maid of Honour and not me. I'd be just as frazzled as Alice if that was the case.

"Oh my God! I'm going to be late, aren't I? What if someone says they object to the wedding? Oh my God, Oh my God! I think I'll just die if that happens. I mean, what if the church burns down? Or something happens to the priest?"

I cross my arms and shake my head.

"Maybe a lemon-cart will fall in front of the president's entourage forcing everything to a standstill and cause a massive traffic jam from here to Nakuru." Alice manages a smile at that.

"Or maybe it will hail and a large one will fall on the pope's head forcing every clergyman to postpone all services on account of emotional distress," says Hope stepping in.

"Or a meteor could hit the earth and we could all die in like... three minutes!" I can't help but add."Or, I could be heading into a cage of hungry lions to feed them..." chimes in Alice, now jovial as I have always known her to be.

"Or everything could go just fine. Better than fine. This is your big day Lulu," says Hope kissing her sister's cheek and giving her a squeeze, "it's going to be fine."

Alice beams at her and then turns her glassy-eyed gaze to me.

"You're right. David will be at the altar waiting for me. In three hours, I will be Mrs. David Faulu and nothing is going to stop me... save divine intervention."

"We've all said our prayers Alice. Relax."

"Easy for you to say," she says with a chuckle.

This has been the trend for the last few days. First she's happy, then she's sad, then she's scared, then she's frustrated that things don't work out and then she's eager to get this wedding over with.

I for one am glad I'm not the one standing up there.

I love romance as much as the next hopeless romantic. I love watching people fall in love and find their happily-ever-after. I love the idea of a love that lasts forever. I gush at all those mushy movies and I cry every time the hero and heroine finally find each other and then he gives cute little speech and then goes down on one knee... it's pure magic every time.

Until it happens to me.

The last time I had to contend with a potential love-interest is one of the most cringe-worthy moments I have ever had to face. Note, one of.

James was a great guy. He was sweet and he was cute. He was raised well which you could see by the gentlemanly way he acted towards everyone. Even outright jerks like my workmate, Kevin, were no match for his awesomeness.

And then he had to go and ask me out.

I have never been more embarrassed by anything in my life... almost. And I am the queen of embarrassing moments in my circle of friends. That particular experience has basically guaranteed that I will never see him again.

Poor guy.

To be fair, he did have a bit of a temper. I only threw up on him a little... and I might have said some awful things before that that I don't remember on account of my being drunk at the time.

Okay, yes, I had been drinking rather heavily. I had it on good authority that liquid courage was good for such situations. Leave it to me to be that awkward drunk woman in the middle of the day while following this sage advice. And I had been all too sober of the fact that our meeting was imminent.

At least he had the decency to drop me off at my place. Needless to say we have never met again. I don't think that's such a big loss given the situation. It's something we could laugh about but not, you know, with each other. Alice still won't let me live it down.

That is a sneak-peek into my romantic life. It is barren and riddled with pitfalls. I don't dare to venture there if I can help it at all.

Of course, I do envy girls like Alice who get her Prince Charming and get to do all those fun things that go along with being truly, madly, deeply in love with someone. I'm not even sure that's possible...

A car-horn beeps from somewhere outside Alice's window and she dashes over to it. Introspection time over.

"It's my dress! And I think that's the hairdresser. It's almost time! Wah, I can't wait!"

She does a silly little happy dance and runs out of the room to greet her guests.

I truly am happy for Alice and I wish her well. David is an amazing guy and I just know they'll be happy together. I may not have my Prince Charming and the thought of even meeting him may make me want to throw up, I'm so nervous, but as long as I can live vicariously through my friends, that's good enough for me.
Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Wamakai
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Samantha Speed: There were several punctuation, grammar, and missing word problems but it did not detract from the story. This story was very well done, enjoyable, and had an interesting enough plot. It took a while to finish. This story is not complete. I love it, but I want to see another book or have more cha...

Sandra Estrada: I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...

brettylee: The narrative is slick yet punchy. Life, Family and Friends I believe is the core message so it’s easy to relate to. It’s surprisingly action packed. The author does a good job at keeping you guessing. Just when you think all is right, whack, the unexpected happens. The dialogue is energetic and ...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

zoheusher20: What more can I say? The writing style and little details drew me into the book and for the entirety of the story I was Juliet. I felt her turmoil and emotions and every trouble or triumph as they arrived. This story was very different and had quite a few little but unexpected twists that made it...

minallie: One word, brilliant

JONANNA: As an avid reader it is not often I say that about a book. The plot is what was different and the twists where unexpected. This book is defiantly a page turner and enjoyable read. I can't wait to reread this novel after a little editing to finish off the shine on this wonderful novel.

jessica12301990: One of the best books I have read in a while. Could not put it down, loved the characters and how real they felt. Read from start to finish without putting it down. Really hope this gets published and when it does I will be first in line to pick it up.

Marimar Amieva: I just can't believe the story! I absolutely loved it, all of it. The characters and their chemistry between them, and the fact that they are relatable. The story also has some sick plot twists, which I never saw coming. I loved the fact that it is an adorable love story but has its mystery touc...

More Recommendations

Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...

Alani Foreigner: I absolutely loved how you created this story. It isn't like the other cliché stories I've ever read. I had just started reading it yesterday and just had to finish it. The main characters are grotesquely awesome and I fell in love with them. If you're into fantasy and stuff I can guarantee that ...

Dessie Williams: loved the book. the plot the characters all just great.I think it's a must read. once you start this book it's hard to put down. hope it gets published....I think this book is a must read.great job!!!!

Giuliana Cassetta: My face is full of tears, I never cried like now with a book or even a movie. I loved every single chapter. I truly don't know what to say, I'm out of words and my eyes hurt from crying. Such an bittersweet story, it's so wonderful. One of my favorites for sure. Keep it up!

rudyoxborough46: An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these c...

Alkira Joan: Great story, I found it hard to read especially the dialogue. You just need to fix up some spelling errors and the gramma .I enjoyed this book. was a little hard to get though.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.,, , , , ,.,, , , , , , , ,., ,,.,,,,,

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.