JASMINE

Most girls in my high school had a boyfriend by the time they were 17 years old. But not me.

Weighing 210 pounds and sloppy as a soup sandwich, who would want to be seen with me?

I always wanted a boyfriend though. I looked at my friends having lunch with their lovers. Call it covetousness, but somehow, I always felt jealous of the way they showed love and affection to each other.

I would make up stories about fake boyfriends who lived in places that never existed just to fit in. Islands like Guadeloupe that were only a dot on the map. Yes, it was that bad!

One summer, I even paid my cousin who visited from Vancouver a few dollars to pretend that he was my boyfriend.

I remember Vaughn. He was the first boy who showed an interest in me. Well, . . . forced interest if you want to call it that.

Vaughn Moore was in one class higher than I. He was extremely handsome. His skin was tanned and he had a great physique.

He was of average height. No exaggeration, but Vaughn was by far, the best-looking boy in Goodwill High. Well, that’s in my opinion.

One day in March, I wrote Vaughn a letter telling him that he was my biggest crush and I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms every night. How pathetic.

I handed him the letter and disappeared like fart in the wind. I never waited for him to even say a word.

But to my surprise, he wasted no time. During lunch that very said day, Vaughn approached me. He asked if I wanted to hang out at his house that afternoon and I said yes. I mean who wouldn’t say yes? He was only the God of the girls.

Nothing made me more excited. I had it all planned in my mind. Vaughn and Me. My name is Jasmine by the way. Jasmine Scotland.

I imagined us having lunch together, sharing food. Studying together. Walking home holding hands. Taking walks in the park. The whole works.

Oh yes, I had it all figured out in my puny thoughts. Our story was expected to be the best love affair in school. No... scrap that - the entire world.

I didn’t go to Vaughn’s house straight after school that afternoon. I had to go home to take a shower and get rid of that all-day perspiration.

I spent almost an hour in the bathroom, ensuring every part of my body was cleaned.

I had no intentions of “doing anything” with Vaughn, but I knew we would at least kiss each other.

I walked with Mentos. Spearmint. Breath fresheners. I was ready and excited to start a new life with this adorable, handsome, popular guy that everybody wanted.

I never asked myself why he picked me. I didn’t care about that. It didn’t even cross my mind to analyze the situation properly. All I wanted was Vaughn.

Getting ready was easy. My wardrobe wasn’t anything much but I wore something that made me look slimmer (of course, that was just in my head).

Anyway, I took a taxi and made my way to Vaughn’s house, heart beating, hands sweating, soul shaking, I knocked on his door.

For a guy who was seemingly upscale, his home was quite simple. But my attention was focused on Vaughn and not on what his parents owned.

When he opened to let me in, he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I will never forget that day as long as I live, for more reasons than one.

Vaughn said that his parents were at work. I noticed two guys in his living room playing some Nintendo or PlayStation games. The one’s where you literally go to war with a remote.

It was Michael and J’son. I remembered them from school. Stuck-up and so arrogant. But the fact that I was here with Vaughn told me he wasn’t like them.

Besides, when I become his girl, they will have no choice but to respect me.

I said hello to them as Vaughn quickly pulled me into his room.

I didn’t mind really because I never wanted to be in the company of those boys.

Vaughn’s room was typical. Posters of women on the wall. A small bed and a bookshelf.

There were no chairs so we sat on his bed talking. I don’t remember what Vaughn and I spoke about, but it didn’t take much time before he started touching me in all kinds of place.

I wanted a boyfriend but this was not what I expected. I asked him to stop.

“I want to get to know you before we can do stuff like that,” I said.

“Babe it’s ok. We have all the time in the world,” he replied, ignoring the fact that I kept squeezing my thighs together real tight.

He used all his might, trying really hard to part my legs. There was a constant struggle. He became rough and I began to cry.

“I am a virgin, Vaughn,” I said and he quickly pulled back.

He let out a big sigh and he had a disappointed look on his face.

“Ok. Let’s just lay down a bit,” he said.

He pulled me towards his chest and I laid there shaking. The sound of his heartbeat calmed me down as he stroked my back.

My anxiety was slowly disappearing when someone busted the door open. It was Michael and J’son.

“Aye, Vaughn are you done? We are ready for our turn,” one of them said.

“Come and take what you want,” Vaughn replied quickly.

Surely, those boys could not have been speaking about me, but they were.

One of them grabbed me and pinned me down. I yelled and screamed. Vaughn laid there looking at what was going down.

He had shame written all over his face and I could tell that he was uncomfortable.

Michael ripped my blouse while J’son unzipped his pants. I saw his private part. Stiff and ready to violate me.

I was devastated. I was in and out of consciousness. My body shut down to protect me from having a heart attack. I felt pressure in my chest and at the back of my neck.

It was like a vein was ready to pop.

Just as J’son was reaching for my underwear, Vaughn stopped him.

“Ok, ok guys! This was a bad plan. Let’s end it. She’s a virgin and I don’t want us to get into trouble,” he said.

They weren’t listening. These rebels kept trying relentlessly to get what they wanted.

After making several verbal attempts to get them off me, Vaughn jumped them, tossing them on the floor, leaving me on the bare mattress, shivering.

All three of them left the room. I couldn’t believe what was happening. It was a nightmare.

I looked at my torn blouse. How was I going to take the bus home looking like that?

I didn’t notice how hard I resisted until I saw the white flimsy sheet on Vaughn’s bed was torn.

I cried and shook and gasped for breath. How could I have been so silly?

Clearly Vaughn had no real interest in me. He wanted to have sex with me and have his friends enjoy it too.

What kind of person was Vaughn? What a foolish girl I was to believe that the most popular guy in school could have real interest in me?

When Vaughn returned to the bedroom, he saw me on the floor crying. He sat next to me, trying to comfort me.

“Get your dirty, stinking hands off me. Rapist…,” I screamed, using my hands to secure my ripped blouse. I ran furiously to the door.

I didn’t notice the other rapists there. They weren’t on the couch.

“I’m calling the police” I yelled as I turned the knob, yanking his door open.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say, as his voice cracked.

I couldn’t take the bus. I was too devastated and too much of a mess. I walked the entire 6 miles back home.

Finding a way to enter the house without my parents noticing my state was another battle that I had to fight.