Logan - Five years later...
“Can I give you some advice?” Shauna got out of bed, her naked backside showed her voluptuous ass and I started to stir down below again. Unfortunately, if we fucked again it would give her the wrong idea that this was more than a one-time fling. If you gave them more of you, they wanted more of you. They got clingy and I didn’t want clingy.
“Can I stop you?” I countered, the answer clipped and short. Now that she fulfilled my needs, I wanted her to leave. I had it all wrong in the past, thinking JJ was an asshole all those many years ago, but now I understood him. Treat women like shit, and they wouldn’t expect anything from you.
“No, I guess you can’t, so I will give it anyway. Your skills in bed are well worth the shitty attitude. I haven’t climaxed that hard in a long time, but it helps the girls you are fucking if you would look at them. Maybe tell them some tender words not just grunt in their ear.”
“You weren’t complaining when you were screaming my name.” She smirked and flicked her blond hair over her shoulders knowing I was right.
Shauna graduated basic training with me and made it no secret she wanted me. I got the feeling she craved more than a quick fuck, so I held out. I didn’t do relationships. All they were ever good for was heartache. Having been through it once already prevented any disillusion for it to ever happen again. Screw the commitment to one girl. She never appreciated it anyway. Marriage and children weren’t a dream of mine anymore. My commitment was to the army and only the army. At least it had afforded me all the pussy I could ever want, and I didn’t need to do anyone’s dirty laundry in the process.
Standing and facing me now, I watched her large breasts slightly sway in front of me and her nipples perk up. She was lovely and well worth the wait but if she continued to stand there naked, I would get hard again and want to fuck her breaking my rule. Our one night of sex was over. Looking down on the floor, I scooped up her shirt and threw it at her.
“So, this is it then? What they said about you is true. You are a one and done?” She planted her hands on her hips and looked at me pointedly.
“If you knew that before fucking me, then you must be okay with it, right?” Not getting sucked into the bullshit, I called her on it. She wanted to fuck me, and I wanted to fuck her. That was it.
“You better expand your sights then a little. You managed to fuck most of the single women in your unit. Well, with the exception of Kelly. She wanted to fuck you for a long time now and most of the base is after her too. What’s up with that?”
“She isn’t my type.” Kelly had long jet black hair and caramel eyes. The combination was too familiar preventing me from partaking in her beauty. I kept to the others. Blond, brunette, redheads. It didn’t matter as long as they didn’t look like... her.
“Every guy in the unit wants to fuck her, and she isn’t your type? Whatever.” Getting the hint when I threw her the underwear at my feet, she started to dress. I watched from my position leaning against the headboard, although I enjoyed the show, my dick shrank some with our choice in conversation topics. No, women were better when you fucked them once. Get them out of your system and go on to the next one.
“So where are you going for R&R?”
Hoping she didn’t ask as a way of an invitation, I remained vague. “Thought I would take a train ride across France. Haven’t seen much of the countryside yet and would like to look at the land.”
Hiking up her brow at me, she inquired, “France? Heard talk of more terrorist activity going on there. The Police Nationale is said to be on high alert.”
I shrugged, “Since when does it matter? We are stuck here in the desert on high alert all the time. One small train ride across France doesn’t make a difference to me.”
Her smile turned seductive, “Looking for a friend to go on the way?”
Somehow I knew she wanted to tag along. Not going to happen, so I thought of what would drive her away, “No, but if you want you can blow me before you leave.”
It worked. The look of scorn on her face portrayed her disapproval. Grabbing her boots and jacket she turned away from me. “Fuck you, Logan.” The door slammed creating a calming silence in the room alerting me to the fact I was free of her.
But the calming silence could be a bitter enemy as well. Too much time alone stirred up memories. The person I was versus the person I had become. In a way, my life worked out better than I had hoped. Women became easier for me. No longer did I look for the sweet, demure type. My passion lied in whores. The ones who understood the physical pleasure and left out the emotional shit. It was too hard enduring the ups and downs of a relationship. What I shared with Rea had left me scarred.
Rea. I could still picture her in my mind. The way she looked five years ago when we met. The black silkiness of her hair and the high cheekbones holding up her incredibly large brown eyes. Her eyes. The color of melted caramel making believe I could fall into them.
The way her figure moved. So seductive, even though she wasn’t trying. My hands still remembered the way I would caress her. The way her body softened into mine when we made love. The smell of her peach soap. Her hair as it draped over my skin when she laid on top of me.
And her tender heart. How she would worry about people because she cared. Well, cared about everyone except for me. We had a fling. She had a fling. I found the love of my life, she didn’t. I should have known I couldn’t keep her. She needed a man to satisfy her, not a small-town boy as all I wanted to do was cherish her.
Well, not anymore. If life taught me anything, it taught me to be selfish. No more boy scout. No more caring what women felt towards me. Remembering how JJ would treat his women, I took notice of them during sex. No, I couldn’t be like JJ. Not entirely. I wanted to please them but realized what got chicks off was to show your alpha. Not be a wuss. And ever since then my sex life had been fantastic. A new woman every night and a reputation for making them scream, so I didn’t need to look far for the next one. Funny really. Who needed to be a rock star to get the groupies?
Getting out of my bed, I tossed on my civilian clothes, what little I had. I didn’t want to be pegged an army man while on vacation, so I bypassed the fatigues preferring the guise of a tourist to enjoy the countryside. Take my time during my little break from the army. Contemplate my life goals and where to go from here. Yes, I finally made it to where I wanted.
But why do I still feel so lost?
Sitting in the lounge section as the train departed the station, the scenery captivated me as it passed by but it still wasn’t enough to tame my wandering mind. Having hours to kill, I hated the fact my mind always somehow returned to Rea hoping the years that passed were enough to drown her image. So instead of ruminating on what I couldn’t have, I concentrated on what brought me to Europe.
Why was I still in the Army? I thought by now I would have transitioned into police work, even looked at becoming an MP but my desire to be the hero fizzled out when I left basic training. The dream escaped me, making me question why I wanted it in the first place.
The army wasn’t what I envisioned. It was intended on being an expressway to becoming a man, a hero, someone who people would look up to, but instead, bureaucratic bullshit gummed up the system. Stuck in a desert and learning tactical drills waiting for a chance to save someone when most of the people here didn’t want to be saved. Maybe I shouldn’t have put all my hopes on someone else making me into a man. Maybe I should have looked more into the police academy at the time. Yes, it would be hard and yes it would be expensive, but people with far less do it all the time.
But I knew the answer. I ran away.
Not at first. No, I thought the army was the answer to my prayers but then after Rea’s rejection it turned into my safe haven. Running away from her only landed me into the arms of the military, and they accepted me. The armed forces were my family now. It afforded me all the luxuries I could ever want. Then why was I so unhappy?
It may not be my dream anymore, but it was comfortable, predictable in its unpredictability. No longer did I look at a regular life with a wife and children when the prospect of being moved to another country at a moment’s notice would disrupt their lives. I watched other soldiers in this predicament. Married people were split up and forced to go long times apart. Children missed their parents. It was a hard way to raise a child or nurture a marriage and only the toughest survived. This was the best my life could get, so I would deal with what life handed me and be grateful.
A passenger three seats down and across the aisle caught my attention. Sitting in a seat facing my direction gave me a clear view of her appeal. Brown short hair cropped just below the chin. A little too much makeup accentuated big pouty lips that were the fashion for whatever reason. She looked like a model with too thin of a body. Not my usual type but there doesn’t seem to be anyone else who held any interest for me in this cabin, so I shouldn’t be too choosy. The way she smiled alerted me to the possibility of potential fun to be had. Another diversion to relieve my thought-provoking mind at the moment. When I smiled back, her lips curled into a sexy smirk. It had been a couple of days since I was dick deep in someone, so I decided to move closer to the open seat opposite her just to strike up a conversation, and see how willing she would be for a train ride on a train ride.
Standing up and moving down the aisle, I made my way over to where she sat...
An ear-splitting explosion shook the ground underneath me, tossing me over the seats to fall against the side of the train. An unexpected silence followed. Not complete silence. This silence occurred when your eardrum lost its function causing a muffling of sounds. Heat radiated from the front and knocked me back against the unforgiving seats as the second bomb went off close by. Pain ripped through my leg and my chest felt as though an elephant pushed down on it making air exchange a crucial function.
Debris rained down on me as I noticed the sky. Why would I see the sky while lying in the isle of the train? It didn’t make sense but nothing made sense right now. Muted screams were all around me and I could see blood but couldn’t tell if it was mine.
It took all my energy to lift my head up and it produced the most excruciating pain, but I knew from my training I had to react. Looking at the front of the cabin, I saw the woman, the same woman who held my interest not too long ago if only for a moment. And her head was gone.
My mind grew dizzy and before I laid my head back down, I saw the source of the red liquid pooling around me. My leg laid mangled and bleeding. Acting purposely, I drew on my ingrained skills and quickly removed my belt from my pants. Twinges of unconsciousness lay at the edges of my vision doubling my efforts and made it go slower than I had hoped. Once I freed the strap, I reached down and tied it around my leg.
People were moving around me, but no one touched me forcing me to save myself. Tightening the belt, I held it strong wondering what the hell happened. As my consciousness came into question I looked around in the smoke and fog and saw a woman. As I lost control of conscious thought, I watched the woman turn to me and smile and recognized my past love. Beckoning me to follow her, Rea nodded to the back of the train and suddenly the darkness overtook me.