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Through his eyes

Xavier’s POV

I spotted her the moment she entered our school three years ago. It was hard not to when she was grinning so brightly as if nothing can get to her.

To say that annoyed me would be putting it mildly.

It got under my skin that she could laugh so freely without a care in the world while I struggled to be simply not sad.

Earning the popular title didn’t take much effort. Our group got the most attention and despite it seeming cliche, high school students just need something to make a fuss about.

And even then, Cole always got the most attention because of his charm. Flynn’s goofy personality makes everyone want to be friends with him and Jason has that cool vibe about him that everyone loves.

Then there’s me. I don’t have any labels. I’m just someone who’s tagging along with them.

And when Thea arrived, she didn’t need to try. Even if she doesn’t see it, she’s noticed. She can’t be ignored. Her presence demands attention.

And I despised it.

Even more annoying was the fact that I was one of those people. I couldn’t hate her even if I wanted to. I was simply jealous. So, I turned that emotion into loathing.

Over time, I almost convinced myself.

Until, that day at the party. In the middle of a very embarrassing breakdown, her voice found its way to me. It soothed me and I was terrified.

I knew once I let her in, there’s no going back. So, I kept my distance.

Despite itching to give in, I couldn’t. Not after what happened to her.

I can’t bear to lose any more than I already have.

Thea’s anything but subtle. Her head-on approach unnerved me, more than I admitted. She didn’t fear my rejection, in fact, she was prepared for it. And here I was, hiding from her like a coward.

It took every single cell in my being to keep myself from touching her; from kissing her senseless; from holding her to me.

Those soft lips of hers never fail to catch my eyes and like an idiot, I turn away. I couldn’t fight my attraction for her long enough—especially when she made it her life’s mission to be around me.

But then the girl who always smiled crumbled in front of me and I felt my heart twist so painfully, I found myself wishing for that annoying smile to make its way back. The tears in her eyes nearly made me drop to my knees—and the anger towards the reason that made her cry is something I’ve never felt so intensely.

All I wanted was to take her pain away.

I broke. When I saw her in my t-shirt, I got a glimpse of what I can have— we can have— if I just accepted my feelings. For a moment there, I lost it.

I kissed her.

A simple kiss had never meant so overwhelming before her. Her touch, her breathless moan, the look in her eyes when she watched me and to think it was because of...me. Everything was too much.

Truth be told, I was looking for an excuse, any excuse to rightfully deny her. I found my opportunity when she told me about my brother.

The mention of his name had always touched a nerve but coming from her, I focused more on the negative part to get her away from me. Surely, a person so beautiful can’t actually want to be with me.

My insecurities got the best of me. Stupid life didn’t leave any opportunity to fuck me over and I blew the only good thing I found.

Jason understood the moment he walked in and glanced at my miserable state. After smacking me over the head, he indulged me in an hour-long lecture before sighing like a disappointed parent.

Even Flynn happened to get worked up over this situation. The only one who remained passive was Cole but he didn’t tell me I was right in doing what I did. He simply kept quiet and his silence spoke a thousand words.

Come hell or high water, these people have been my family more than my actual family. So, I finally mustered the courage to talk to Lucas.

When he opened the door to be greeted by my face, he stumbled back in shock and almost knocked out the nearby table.

“Tell me everything.”

That’s all I said. The rest was explained by him as I sat there, stone-faced, not moving a muscle.

In the end, I left the room without another word uttered. Looking back it probably gave off the wrong idea.

But for the first time, I feel like we can start building our sibling relationship that was ruined by our parents.

Ever since Thea has stumbled into my life, I have done the most unexpected things. I actually let someone spend my birthday with me.

After what happened with her on that day, I shut out everyone...except Thea wormed her way there.

I actually talked to Lucas—although it was mostly him talking—and this time it didn’t end with a screaming match.

Ever since Thea’s here, things took a turn for the better...before I ruined it.

Jason’s words never left my mind. ”Either you accept your feelings or you lose her forever. That’s a choice. And it’s up to you.”

Watching her at the party reminded me of our time through everything and at that moment, all I wanted to do was worship her as she deserves.

And I did exactly that.

I gave in.

It was only a matter of time.

No hesitation. No second thoughts. No regrets.

The feel of her body under mine, the way she responds to my touch, her soft flesh molding into mine, breathy moans whispering my name while writhing under me because of the pleasure I caused her...

Now that I know how she feels in my arms, I know I can’t let go even if I try. I’m falling for her...faster than I thought.


Here’s a little bonus for anyone wanting to know Xavier’s thoughts. He’s been through a little too much...

Anyway, if you liked this one, let me know if you want another POV from him in the future.

And it would mean the world to me if you could check out my new book ‘HIM’. You can find it in my profile.

Thank you so much for reading!

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