Chapter 58: Grace Is Depressed
I drank my coffee and poured another cup before carrying it up the back stairway to our room. I opened the bedroom door and closed and locked it behind me. I put on sweatpants and a tee shirt. I walked over and sat down in the chair and looked out the window.
I have been home all day and not once has Blade come to find me or talk to me. I shouldn't be the one to go find him. I felt the tears falling again. I heard a member in the hallway talking to another.
"Grace has been home today and not once has Blade gone to talk to her."
" No wonder she feels like he made a mistake in marrying her."
"In the bar Hawk and Rain asked where I was?"
Blade looked at them and said "he didn't know."
" What do you mean you don't know?"
" Is she here or isn't she?"
" She is not talking to me."
" We heard what happened."
" She is not going to come to you Blade."
" You will have to go to her."
"If you really love her don't wait to long."
" Blade I talked to Grace today."
" What did she say Cookie?"
" She said that if you think you made a mistake in claiming and marry her she won't fight a divorce if that is what you want."
" And if you don't want her here she will move back to her house."
I looked at Cookie as if he lost his mind.
"What the hell are you talking about Cookie?"
" Grace thinks you don't love her and you decided you made a mistake in claiming her and marrying her."
" She thinks you want a divorce."
" Or you fucking crazy?"
"I don't want a divorce and I do still love her."
" Then why have you not gone to talk to her or welcome her back home?"
" I have not seen her that's why."
" Really, because she was in the bedroom when you closed the garage today."
"Blade if you don't go talk to her you are making a big mistake."
" Why do I have to go and talk to her. She is the one avoiding me."
" Is she the one who yelled at you in front of two presidents and a bitch who wanted you to claim her baby?"
"Is she the one that made you feel as if she did not have a right to tell you supper was ready?"
" Is she the one who didn't introduce you as her husband?"
" No she is not."
" No wonder she thinks that you don't love her anymore and that she thinks that you decided you made a mistake in marrying her."
"I am not the one who handed a prospect a note telling me that she was going on a business trip for five days now am I?"
" Have it your way Blade."
" But if she moves back to her house it is on you."
" I walked down the stairs and called Blades name."
" You decide to finally come down and want to talk to me?"
" Never mind Blade."
We all watched as she turned and walked back down the hallway. I walked into the bedroom and grabbed my car keys and wallet along with my phone.
I walked down the back stairs and out the back door and over to the garage where I got into my car and started it. I backed out of the garage and drove out of the gate. I drove back to my house and drove into the garage closing the door behind me.
I got out of my car and walked into the house. I walked ups the stairs and lay on my bed. He yelled at me again. I guess he does wish he had never married me. I finally fell asleep around midnight. I woke up around noon.
I got up and walked over to the chair and looked out the window at the water. I didn't feel like eating. I was not hungry. I just sat there. I reached for my phone and turned it off. I took the battery out of it.
"I used the land line and called Raylan."
" I told her I was going to have my phone off for awhile."
" That I needed time to think. I told her I thought that Blade decided he made a mistake in marrying me."
" I told her not to worry about me. I would be just fine."
I then hung the phone up and unplug it from the wall.
I walked down the stairs and unplugged the one in the kitchen, my office, and the living room. I then walked outside and turned the electric to the garage off. After that I locked the front and back doors and put the dead bolts in place.
I walked to the basement where I pushed the button and opened the panel to the secret room that Raylan didn't even know about. I walked down the stairs and to the living area there. I had left my phone upstairs in the bedroom.
This is my secret place. I had a whole suite down here. Bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room. My small apartment. I was safe here. I walked over and lay down on the couch. I needed time to think. I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I don't like to be yelled at.
I am only strong when someone hurts me, lies to me or cheat on me. Otherwise I don't like conflict. And right now I feel so unloved. I looked at the calendar on the wall. I will start my period in a few days. I hate that because I get cramps so bad.
I found the heating pad and the modal. I wanted it ready for when I start. I took aspirin for my headache and lay down and covered up with the blanket. I know that Raylan will worry but she also knows when I feel like this I go into hiding.