His hands are all over me, exploring uncovered skin underneath my shirt. There is anincontestable heat coursing through my body, which starts from down between my legs. His lips are crushed against mine, his tongue slithering in and out of my mouth like a vicious snake, searching desperately for something to tame. His hair is soft underneath my fingertips as I run through them, clinging to every strand in utter desire. He rolls over and settles me on top of him. I straddle his waist with my thighs and lean down to kiss his succulent lips, my hair falling around us like a curtain. A small groan escapes from the back of his throat, attacking my lips. His hands course their way underneath my shirt, as if my skin is a map, and the sensation is wonderful.
We roll back over and he’s fully on top of me, his lips sucking at the hollow of my neck, his hand wandering down the outer part of my thigh. As his hand progresses back up my leg, it stops between my legs and he grips me there, hard, while he’s pushing my face farther down into the pillow with an anticipated force.
I have to stop there, because all of a sudden I feel anxious and hot and I can’t breathe.
I put my hands to his chest and tear apart our lust-filled embrace. “Cole wait – I can’t.” I sigh and close my eyes. “I’m not really ready yet.” The last part comes out in a whisper, and it doesn’t even sound like me who’s speaking. It’s another person with another voice in my body saying these things, even though I myself mean them wholly. I try to catch my breath, all the while avoiding his gaze. My eyes are still closed and I feel him glaring at me. I’m not sure whether or not his glare is sympathetic or hateful; I don’t want to know. I feel terrible for leading him on, but I only did because for a moment I felt as if I really did want to go further, but there’s a part of me, a very small part, that tells me I should wait. “I thought I was, but I’m not…”
“Okay,” he says, his voice coming out in a whisper. He seems understanding, and I’m relieved that he isn’t yelling at me. I don’t think he would ever do that, but I’m never sure. The longer we date, the more unpredictable Cole seems to get. I can see him breaking out of his shy shell, becoming comfortable with the idea of a serious relationship. “It’s okay. We can wait.”
“Thank you.” I give him a small smile and wiggle out from under him, sitting up and flattening my hair. Cole tugs in his shirt and smooths out the wrinkles. He smiles at me kisses my temple, his lips warm against my skin. “Sorry if I got you too excited,” I say finally. “I didn’t mean to lead you on, I just… I don’t know. I thought I was going to be ready.”
“I’m not going to force you, okay?” he says, pointing a slender finger at his chest. “We don’t ever have to do it if you don’t want to. It’s okay. I just love you.”
I smile at him again, unsure of what to say.
Cole isn’t very happy when he finds out that Christian is staying at my house now, but he didn’t blow up like I thought he would. I noticed the tremor in his veins as he tightened his jaw, gritted his teeth. Christian had this smug look on his face as if he accomplished the impossible and is receiving an infinite amount of praise for his accomplishments. Cole took me aside and we had a talk that almost turned into a yelling match. He was so angry and I was so afraid and I felt as if I had broken an unspoken commitment that we had made. No Christian. I’m still not sure why Cole hates him so much; he’s never explained himself, but I’m guessing it’s for the same reason everyone else is uncomfortable with Christian: he’s just a kid that’s up to no good; that he has a bad agenda set in front of him. Fate has something awful planned for him and for everyone that enters his life.
Cole did his best in trying to persuade me to just let Christian go, but I wouldn’t let up. I stood my ground, telling him that Christian has nowhere else to go. That’s not really true, because he has those friends he keeps talking about and I’m not sure why he didn’t just go to them for help, but I didn’t mention that to Cole. Christian seemed genuine when he said he couldn’t go to them and that I was his last resort. How can I turn down a friend? Even Kelsey said that I should be a Good Samaritan and let him stay at my house.
When Cole started yelling, I shut up. I hadn’t seen him so angry. His face was burning red with anger, as if he were a volcano that was on the peak of bursting with its hot flames. Eventually I just told him to leave and he storming out, rudely bumping into Christian in the hallway. All Christian did was smile stupidly at the door for a few seconds after Cole slammed it.
“What is going on with all that noise?” my mother says, descending the stairs. She’s carrying a laundry basket full of dirty clothes under her left arm, the base of the basket perched on her massive hip.
“Nothing. Just a little disagreement,” Christian says. “Do you need help with that?” He strides over to my mom and takes the laundry basket out from under her arm. Ever since he’s been staying here, he’s acted like he’s some kind of angel child, but it’s gotten my mom to like him and her OCD to be less crazy, so I haven’t said anything to him about it. It’s better than him just free-loading and being a lazy couch potato.
My mom guides Christian to the laundry room, which is also the garage, and I go upstairs to my room and plop down onto my bed face first. My head hurts from all the fighting I’ve had to do the past few days. As good as my relationship with Cole seems to be on the surface, I feel as if it isn’t as great underneath anymore. The water is beginning to boil and I can’t shut off the burner. I feel tears well in my eyes, a dam waiting to be broken through, when there’s a knock on my door.
“Is everything okay, sweetie?” my mom says. I fell the bed sag as she sits down beside me. She puts her hand on my back and gives little scratches in between my shoulder blades. She does that when she’s trying to comfort me but doesn’t really know how. I actually miss having her scratch my back; she hasn’t tried to comfort me since I was twelve or so. “I’ve never seen you and Cole fight before. What’s going on?”
I roll over and sit up to look at her when I know the tears are gone. I don’t want her worrying more than she needs to. “He’s not too happy that Christian is staying here. He doesn’t like him at all.”
“Well why is that? Did Christian do something to you that he wasn’t okay with?”
“I think he just doesn’t like the fact that he exists.”
That gets a small smile out of my mom. “Boys are silly, aren’t they?”
I nod in agreement.