The house is dark when I arrive home. My parents are asleep. I can hear the settling of the house, the way that it breathes when all is quiet. The family photos are shadowed over; I can’t see any one of our faces.
I open the door to my room, shut it behind me. I lean against it and close my eyes for a second to gather myself, then move to the closet to get a warm set of pajamas. My jeans and sweater are still wet, making me shiver over and over. I unzip my sweater and pull my shirt over my head, dropping both garments onto the floor.
There’s a rustling coming from my bed and I turn, seeing a slender outline. I clap my hand over my mouth, holding back a sharp cry. I squint and step closer, trying to get a better look at the figure on my bed. “Christian?” I whisper. “What are you doing here?”
He stands, stepping close to me, and all of a sudden I feel self-conscious standing here in only jeans and my white bra. I hug myself and feel my cheeks heat up. I can’t look at him. I can’t even tell if he’s looking at me at all. “I thought it was time that I come back.”
“Why did you leave in the first place? You were gone for two weeks. Where the heck did you go?”
“I went home, but then I realized I don’t belong there anymore, so I went to my friend’s house. He let me crash there until now.”
“Why did you leave?” I pull my arms tighter around my chest, shielding myself from him and from the cold.
“I thought you hated me because I kissed you.”
I look up at him. “I thought my opinion doesn’t matter to you.”
He shrugs his shoulders, and I can barely make out the turn up of his lips. “Where have you been? You’re soaking wet.” He looks down at my sweater and picks it up, fondling it between both his hands and then dropping it back down, as if it were something infected and it disgusted him. “You’re gonna get sick. Where were you?”
He gives me a look, hardly menacing at all, and steps closer. I’m pressed up against the wall now, nowhere else to go. I’m still in my bra. “Where were you?” His voice comes out hard and concerned.
“Cole broke up with me, and I was worried about you and I thought I was going crazy so… so I pulled onto the side of the road to cry and I ended up falling asleep.”
He chuckles. “You are something else.” His smile fades. “Why did he break up with you?”
I shrug a bit. “He just said he needs time to think about things. So technically it’s a break but… he’s not going to come back.”
There’s silence now, and I start to feel antsy and awkward. I start to turn and rummage around in the closet for a warm shirt, but then Christian grabs me and pins me back against the wall. His hands are warm around my forearms. I look up at him, and I can feel his breath hot on my chin.
“Please don’t get mad again…” he whispers hoarsely. He clears his throat and leans in slowly, almost hesitantly, waiting for me to reject him. I surprise the both of us when I close the remaining distance between us, crushing my lips to his and leaning into his embrace. His arms circle around my waist and pulls me tightly to him, his palms flat against the small of my back.
He breathes heavily as our lips move in sync. His tongue slithers in and out of my mouth gently, but it grows more and more desperate as the seconds pass by. I cup his face in my hands and run my tongue over his. He starts backing up and I find myself resisting because I know where this could go if I didn’t stop now.
I pull my face away and he follows, getting in a few more kisses onto my lower lip and my chin. “What’s wrong?” he asks, searching my eyes. I can see them clearly now that they’re this close. They shine as brightly as the stars do and I can note the desire that is held in them. Desire for me.
“Nothing. I’m just…not ready for that yet.”
“Didn’t you do it with Cole? You two seemed pretty hot for each other.”
I shake my head.
He smiles. “You mean to tell me that you’re still a virgin?” he asks teasingly.
“Well yeah, aren’t you?”
He chuckles, his shoulders rising and falling. He unwraps his arms leans into the closet to grab a shirt. “You’re too cute sometimes. C’mon, Coconut. Let’s get you to bed.”