Finale Part 1
December 31st 7:23am
“It’s nearly 2022 guys, new year, new us.” Chase said.
Phoenix and Storm were at Ryder’s parents’ house, the four of us had wanted to spend some time out of the house before the New Years Party. Rather than go to all the usual teen hang out places, like shopping malls, cinemas or cafes, we’d chosen school.
Not inside school, just the small green area opposite it, with a brick wall that was usually crowded with children in the mornings, a mixture of Blackthorns and Ravenwoods. It wasn’t a particularly nice day either, no bright sun or blooming flowers or crystal clear skies. It was kind of cold to be honest, misty, like a British TV show- slightly morbid.
“You know what? I’m actually kind of loving pregnancy.” Wild said.
“Yeah, it’s great.” Ryder said rubbing his eyes tiredly.
Strangely enough, Wild seemed to be glowing, radiating positive energy and happiness, constant smiling, her skin was as flawless as ever, and hair shiny and curled. Ryder on the other hand seemed to be constantly sleep-deprived and looked permanently sort of half-dead.
“I still can’t believe you two are going to be parents.” I said unwrapping the bright blue lollipop Chase had bought me earlier.
“Why not? You and Chase basically are.” Wild said.
“I guess.” I shrugged, “You know what else? They finished remodelling Blackthorn.”
Which meant this term, I wouldn’t be going back to Ravenwood. Because of how dangerous it was, Wild’s parents had insisted that she remain at Ravenwood for the sake of keeping her baby safe and out of a stressful environment. They’d offered to pay for me to go to Ravenwood as well, but I’d refused, I didn’t want to take charity, I was fine by myself.
Besides, now that Chase was no longer talking to his parents, his school tuition had stopped as well. And whilst Ryder’s parents too had offered to pay for him, he’d said no. His reasoning was that he wanted a change in his life, but I’d heard him talking to Ryder about the real reason, he didn’t want me to go alone.
“We’re not going to see each other as often now.” Ryder said, “And with the baby coming, in a few months we’re rarely going to meet up even after school.”
“What happens then? We can’t lose touch.” Chase added.
Wild and I looked at each other, rolling our eyes at their dramatics.
“Chase, you are Blaze literally live down the road from us. You’re going to end up as the godparents of our baby and in what world are we going to not see each other?” Wild grinned.
“Plus, when Wild and I were in Year 7, we didn’t have any classes together whatsoever because the girls used to be kept separate from the boys. We still made time, bearing in mind that this was round the time Mum was pregnant with Phoenix, I still found a way to balance stuff. We’re going to be fine. And Chase, you live with me anyways.”
He nodded before realising what I’d said.
“Wait, what do you mean? We’re both going to Blackthorn as well Blaze, remember?” Chase said.
“Actually Chase, I think you should stay at Ravenwood.” I said looking away from him.
“I just, I know why you’re moving, I heard you talking to Ryder, that you’re only changing schools for me, to protect me. You’re doing well at Ravenwood, really well, we have two years left of school before university and these years are important, I can’t let you risk your entire future for me.”
Ryder and Wild exchanged glances and Wild made some excuse about a pregnancy craving for a cheeseburger with gummy bears and dragged Ryder off with her. The fact that there were no burger places around here for miles didn’t seem to cross her mind.
“What are you talking about Blaze?”
“I’m talking about your future Caylex.”
“Caylex? Am I in trouble?”
“Chase, stop messing around, I’m being serious. Blackthorn is hard, really hard, it takes kids years to get used to it there, why else do you think Wild and I are so fucked up? Things fucking suck there, you have the opportunity to stay at Ravenwood, so take it.”
“But I love you…”
“I know, but what if we don’t last? What if we…”
“You think we’re going to break up…”
“No I didn’t…”
“Then why are we even doing this Blaze if…”
“Chase for God’s sake will you…”
“No, tell me, do you think we’re going to last…”
“Listen to me!” I shouted finally jumping off the wall, “I love you so fucking much Caylex Hazel-Legacy Lopez. But I don’t know how much longer you’re going to want to stay with me, okay? Because Mum’s boyfriends never stuck around much. So I want us to last, I really do, but I’m not going to kid myself into thinking that there’s no chance that someday, you’ll find someone better than me. And I don’t want you to hate me for the rest of your life because I made you leave a school you loved!”
Chase stopped looking angry for a few seconds, his face softened and he jumped off the wall as well.
“Do you know what?” I shouted finally, “Maybe we should break up.”
Words had never before physically hurt me. But as I said that last sentence, a sharp pain shot through my chest and a dull throb ached in my brain.
“I’m not going to hold you back Chase.” I said finally taking a few steps back, “I’m sorry.”
Just like that, I walked away before Wild or Ryder could come out form wherever they were eavesdropping and stop me. Just like that I walked away from the most perfect boy on this planet. Just like that, I walked away from one of the only good things I had in my life.
I could tell myself it was because I didn’t want him to risk sacrificing his future for me. Which was, I suppose, a part of it.
But in reality I knew that wasn’t the full truth.
I knew, that Chase making that decision meant he was committed to me. That he cared about me. And that he loved me. And that scared me.