Epilogue: The End?
~Four Months Later~
It’s amazing what four months can do for any relationship. The amount of trust and understanding that can be built still blows me away. When I first talked to Dave about the living arrangements he was furious and expressed his displeasure with the situation greatly. I could see that he was struggling with his little monster not to go and attack Phoenix. A part of me felt like that was what they both wanted though.
Dave needed to release the last bit of his aggression and Phoenix was itching to press charges. A part of me felt like I had been reading it wrong, but another part knew I wasn’t. Their hate for each other was not something that would easily be stopped. It was deeply rooted for good reasons. However, Phoenix and I seemed to grow closer over time. I ended up seeing something more than the guy I walked all over, or the asshole from my backyard.
Living with him opened me up to a new understanding. He had night terrors where he would spend hours screaming ‘stop hurting my sister’. I’d run in trying to wake him and he would just be a sweaty shell of himself. He would sit up in bed and just stare at the wall for the rest of the night. Since I would already be up I’d just join him. I knew how much something like that could affect you more if you were alone, and although I knew he wouldn’t ask, no one wanted to be alone after a night terror.
After a few weeks of doing so we began to have conversations. We really got to know each other then. I explained my situation to him and how Dave played a part in helping me better myself after it all. I explained why I ran away from him and how in the end I couldn’t deny what I felt for him. I explained, in a better way, that I couldn’t believe the rumors about him because he never believed them about me and that was all I wanted from someone. Dave provided me with a safe solitude that I hadn’t known I needed until it was given.
Yeah we were kind of toxic towards each other in the sense that we hated sharing. I wanted to be his whole world and he wanted to be mines.
Then we talked about Phoenix and what he said made me shiver straight from my soul. It didn’t help that he made sure to point out that dealing with me at the time only made the situation worse.
“I don’t know if you know, or if you ever had the chance to talk to her, but my sister is my world. She has been since what happened with Dave. It was the first time that I realized she wouldn’t always be there. I had to protect her, but when college came around I wanted to go away and she didn’t. There were rumors, little whispers that something was going to happen to her. Two years later, after everyone knew what happened to her, and people believe she was still in contact with him. They wanted to know where he was. They wanted to burn Dave at the stake.” he sighed trying to rub the sleep away from his eyes. “I’m no fool. I know someone was behind it. It was then that I started to see what Penelope was talking about. Those people just wanted a scapegoat whether it was true or not. I overheard a conversation between the girl’s parents and how they really wanted to move, but they couldn’t leave without Dave knowing that he wasn’t at fault. No one had seen Dave for two years at that point, but he was still on everyone’s mind.”
I gasped realizing that during all those ‘family trips back home’ Dave had been lying to me. It made me wonder what they were really doing for all that time.
“I almost felt bad for the dude, but then Penelope was hurt because of him again. Around this time last year, right before going on Christmas vacation, a video had been floating around. In the video was my sister looking completely out of it and tied to the bed. Those assholes had drugged her. They were hitting her demanding to know where Dave was. It didn’t take a genius to realize that she didn’t even know her own name in the moment. The assholes didn’t even bother to hide their faces. It was like they enjoyed teaming up on a poor girl.” His olive skin had gone pale and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened.
“Oh no.” I gasped.
“Yeah, she didn’t have anyone there to save her.” he spat as I flinched. I knew he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt.
“You know being saved by someone just for them to turn around and try to do it again, doesn’t make you feel saved. It doesn’t change the fact that I was drugged and yeah while the actual sex didn’t happen, I was still fondled and played with without my consent and very much so unaware.” I snapped rolling my eyes as I got up to walk away. “I’m sorry that you had to see your sister being abused and I’m even more sorry that she was in a position where her trust was misplaced, but her heartache doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole. Before you say ‘he was your boyfriend’, it wasn’t him who found me first. It’s the only part of that night that I do remember. Some strangers hands and mouth all over me telling me that he was only warming me up for Jace and not being able to do a damn thing about it. To make it worse the voice sounds familiar, but I still can’t place a face. Knowing I was that intimate with someone against my will and still not having a clue who it was, but knowing that I know him doesn’t make me feel saved. So fuck off.”
That next morning he seemed to be trying a little harder to be friends. I understood his hatred for Dave a bit more, but I still felt it was unfair to blame him.
I also was having a hard time of my own. Sophomore year was harder than either of us had expected. We were so busy that we hardly had time to talk to each other. I was missing him like crazy and itching to do something that I knew would end us for good; but I wasn’t that person anymore. At least I was trying not to be. I wouldn’t cheat because I couldn’t get what I wanted from him. Or because I just needed a distraction because the memories wouldn’t stop. Besides, trading emails back and forth had been the most romantic thing ever. We talked but it was the physical him that I wanted.
When our first break came around I wasn’t shocked to realize he wasn’t coming. My dad had gone out of town for the holidays on business so there was no point in going home, but his mom needed him home so he couldn’t come to me. However, it was the first time we were able to really talk and hear each other’s voices. I actually cried because of it. Still, I had to make do. In that week I got closer to Peresphone who’d come up for a visit and we both got to meet the girlfriend Nix wouldn’t shut up about.
Amaryllis was just as beautiful as the flower she was named after. She stood at my height with a perfect hourglass figure and her voice was melodious. Her hair was a gorgeous dyed strawberry blonde with a shadow effect at her roots. Her smile lit up the room and she hugged us with each greeting. I loved her instantly and even more so when she pulled out her books for the road. The three of us bonded so much in such a short time that it made no sense. I was excited to finally have true girlfriends. We even traded secrets one night.
She talked about this boy she’d grown up with that she called Scar and how she wished they hadn’t lost contact. She wished she could tell him that she was okay now and apologize for hurting him. Persephone talked about her Pumpkin and how she hoped he would stop blaming himself for things neither of them could control. I talked about my Mickey and how I hoped for things to be better.
Today was the beginning of Christmas vacation though and I couldn’t wait to see my boyfriend. As I drove home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the last four months. Everything was finally out in the open and we’d talk about all that we could. All bridges were fixed and there was nothing left to make amends towards. This vacation was bound to be nothing but perfect. What could really go wrong?