Chapter 5: Mickey&Minnie
My heart sunk as I watched the scene before me. The way she laughed. How she slowly tilted her head to right with her eyes locked dead on his. The way she gently placed her hand on his chest as if whatever he said was so funny she lost all motor skills. I’ve seen it too many times not to notice. She was making her move. She wanted the new guy simply because he’d shown interest in me.
The first friend I’d managed to make since she’d stolen them all away from me, and she wanted him too. It wasn’t enough to leave me one friend. One person that I could talk to and learn to smile again. She wanted him too. By now she was probably telling him everything; both truth and rumors. She knew more than she let on, but we were no longer friends. Besides, she was part of the crowd to have started the rumors.
She was probably telling him how I got drunk at the party and let two brothers go to town on me. It was a lie though. I was examined and the doctors ensured me that I was still a virgin and that nothing had been entered into my anal cavity.
She was probably telling him how I became a bitch and made everyone hate me. That’s probably true. I had a temper issue and often couldn’t control my mouth, but I don’t think that I’ve ever said or done anything to make someone hate me so much they’d start those horrible rumors about me.
She was probably telling him how I made guys run off. How I wasn’t as innocent as everyone believed. How I was both a virgin and a slut. She was going to make me lose him when I had just started to feel better again. She caught me staring from across the lot and smirked at me. I frowned.
I hated her.
She was once my best-friend, but now I hated her. Her and everyone that was in the crowd I’d been a part of once upon a time. I rolled my eyes and sighed as I began walking away. He’d get a ride from one of them and be one of the popular kids. I’d once again be alone. I’d managed to make it through one time, I could do it again.
Holding my head down so I won’t have to be humiliated as I walked passed them, I struggled to keep my anger in check. It wasn’t fair for me to be living like this, but I couldn’t take all of them down. I’d rather it be me they did this too than some poor unsuspecting girl who had no idea who they were.
“Maria, wait up!” he called and I gasped instinctively, turning to face him. It felt like time stopped as everyone watched him abruptly ignore Clarissa calling for him to come back and head towards me. “You weren’t going to leave without me, where you?” he asked, his tone teasing as he smirked.
“I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation.” I said shyly, still in disbelief.
“Well next time please do, I need someone to save me every now and then.” he smirked again as I shook my head laughing.
“Me too.” was all I said as we began the walk home. A part of me knew he was going to ask what I meant and this time I would answer honestly. We were friends now and losing him to them terrified me. I didn’t want to be alone again.
I couldn’t wrap my head around any of this. It was all too much and my head was starting to hurt. There’s no doubt in my mind or heart that Dave had told me the truth, but some of the things that Nix had said seemed true. Some of them seemed to fill in the blanks I was desperate to fill in. The excuse I would need to push him away instead of letting him get emotionally too close to me again.
Had Dave been obsessed with Natalie? Was he trying to build up the courage to tell her he was in love with her and just waited until it was too late? Had the choice to confess been taken away from him because she’d chosen someone else? Had he used basketball to keep himself busy and not think about her? I mean he did tell me that I reminded him of her a few times. Is that why he’s been trying to convince me incessantly that I was his? It made sense, it was all the same things he’d done to me.
Does he only want me because I remind him of her? Is he only claiming me as his because he missed out on his chance to claim her?
My head was killing me and my heart was starting to hurt. I needed to find some way to make sense of it all. It felt like I had no one to talk to, but I was willing to take the chance. Trying hard to maintain composure I drove around until I couldn’t take it anymore and finally pulled into a random, mostly empty parking lot, pulling out my phone.
It rang for what felt like forever before his voice finally came through the phone and I broke.
“Daddy I’m so sorry I’m not your perfect little girl anymore and I hate that I ran away from you. You have always been everything for me and I just ran when I couldn’t handle disappointing you anymore. My head has been all jumbled up for the last two years and the only thing that was making it better is now making things worse. I don’t know what to do anymore and I… I just need you right now.” I cried, heaving sobs leaving me as a panic attack slowly began to approach.
It was late… middle of the night late. Thankfully I had a single dorm because I didn’t know if I could explain what was happening right now. I couldn’t handle everyone talking about me again. I didn’t want to be the class freak anymore. I didn’t want everyone knowing my name for all the wrong reasons. It felt like I couldn’t breathe.
My throat was closing up as tears ran down my cheeks and I rocked myself back and forth. I needed help, but I still didn’t know how to ask for it. Asking had become somewhat of a foreign concept. One that was too hard for me to grasp.
I was reliving it. Reliving the moment where I hated myself the most. I couldn’t escape it. No matter how fast I ran away, it always seemed to be faster. Struggling to control the sobs that encased me in their grasp I picked up my phone and dialled the one number I knew I could always call.
“Hello?” he asked after the third ring. His smooth velvety voice hit me like a pound of bricks. I’d awaken him out of his sleep and I felt like a bitch for it. He needed to rest, not be worried about me.
“Daddy I’m… Daddy I’m so...so sorry.” I choked out feeling another wave of anxiety wash over me.
“Bug? Bug what’s wrong?” he asked, sounding more alert than he had been.
“I’m not a good person daddy. I’m not even a good daughter. I deserved everything that happened to me. I-” my words were cut off as I dissolved into another puddle of tears and let my dad hear all the pain I was in. I felt horrible doing this to him. I didn’t want him to worry. I just wanted the chance to say good-bye. “I deserve to die.”
“Princess, princess breathe. It’s okay. I’m here and I’ll always be here. You just have to talk to me. You don’t really talk to me anymore. I can’t know you need me Bug if I don’t know what’s going on. Tell me what’s going on.” His voice was soothing. It comforted me a little and made me feel safe. What I was feeling made me regret leaving him for so long. When there was nothing else, it was with him that I truly found my solace. I wasn’t naive though, I could hear him trying to conceal his panic. I knew he was reliving the last time I called him in tears and that only made me feel worse.
“Daddy, ever since I found out the truth about that night with Clarissa and John I’ve felt dirty. I’ve felt like I was no longer myself. To find out that someone had been allowed to caress and grope me in my sleep made me sick to my stomach. To find out that he was going to let it go further before he decided to stop it, makes me want to curl into a ball and die. Mom hated me for not being who she wanted me to be and then when the truth came out, when I needed her most and she could have redeemed herself, she disappeared. Why would she do that? I’m forced to believe that she left me because it was too hard for her to admit her wrongs and apologize. How fucked up is that to think about your mother? What hurts the most is she didn’t even bother to say good-bye? Because of her I lost hope in the one person, besides you, that made me feel alive again. When I lost him it was like I lost myself. I became someone that I barely recognize anymore and I’ve done things that I regret. I’m ashamed of my actions. I almost got kicked out of school for constantly breaking the rules. I was having sex in public and random places with the intention of getting caught. Being drunk beyond belief. Fighting anyone who dared to challenge me, and sometimes just because. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting daddy. I just wanted someone to notice that I needed help. For someone finally to hear my pain. I don’t even realize how much I’m still hurting most of the time and all I want to do is sit down with you and have you tell me it’ll be alright. I was scared though. I thought you blamed me for mom leaving and you being alone. I thought you hated me for doing the same and leaving you alone. I thought you were disgusted with the truth of what happened to your daughter and liked not having me around. I thought I made life harder for you. I was afraid to come back. I didn’t want you to hate me more for putting you in the spotlight again. I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t want to whine. I don’t want pity, but I want to stop hurting. I want to be better, but I don’t know how to start. I want Dave to want me in the same way that I want him and not be confused if he’s mistaken me for someone else. I don’t want to be a replacement for him. I don’t want to be confused. I don’t want you to stop loving me like mom did, you’re all I have left. I don’t want you to disown me because it’ll make life easier on you. I need you now more than ever daddy. I tried getting help and it’s just not working. I don’t need a therapist, I need my heart; I need you daddy. You are my heart.” I was sobbing even heavier now as I tried to catch my breath and calm down. He stayed quiet until I was. A part of me wanted to hang up because I was embarrassed, but a much bigger part knew I had to stay on the phone.
“First and foremost, you are my daughter no matter what. I don’t care what you do, did or have done. You are a much bigger part of my heart than I am of yours. Everything I do is for you babygirl and I don’t care how old you get or how much you change that is never going to happen. You can’t lose me. You can’t replace me. If you happen to lose your way I’ll be there with a light to try and guide you back. I’m here for you no matter what. If you want me to drop everything and just hold you, say that and I will block out the world for you. Nothing else matters to me, only you. Your mother did what she did for whatever reason. That’s her burden to bear. Don’t ever think that I would choose her over you. You come from me and you are my world. You are still my perfect little girl in my eyes. Don’t you dare let a low-life nothing have that kind of power over you. You, babygirl, my little princess, my Bug are and will always be perfect in my eyes. Do you understand me?”
“Yes sir.” I whispered after a sniffle.
“I’ll be home tonight. We’ll get through this together. As for Dave, sweetie go home and talk to him. Ask him whatever it is that is bothering you and for once get through it. You’d be surprised by what you hear. You can’t claim to love him Bug and then give up on him because of your own assumptions. It’s not fair to play with his feelings like that. Now go. It’s already getting late and I really rather you not drive when you can work yourself up into a panic attack. Go home, talk to him and I’ll call you later. I love you princess. Don’t you ever doubt that.”
“I love you too daddy.” The call ended and admittedly I felt a little bit better after talking to him. He was right though, the one thing Dave and I didn’t know how to do was be completely honest with each other unprovoked. It was time to change that. It was time to learn how to stop running away.
It took forever trying to get things set up all the while constantly looking over my shoulder. I was terrified that she would show up before I was ready. I was so nervous I had butterflies in my stomach as I ran around on wobbly legs.
I had it all planned and had even managed to get the team to help me.
Throughout the backyard I had fairy lights strung about. I had even managed to get the ones that twinkled. The lady said it would give a better romantic feel once it got dark. I’d managed to get a large white screen that would spread the width of her wide back yard and a projector to connect my laptop too. I’d even paid one of the JV boys to make sure there was no dog poop laying around, which turned out to be a waste of money. Nothing was there, not even an old forgotten turd lying around.
I had all of her favorites. Her favorite movies were downloaded on my laptop. Her favorite foods were sitting on a long table in their own containers waiting to be eaten. Her favorite drinks sat in a cooler of ice getting cold. Her favorite cake and ice-cream had been left in the house and was causing me stressed thinking she was going to see it.
The guys had helped me to put up a waterproof tent around everything. I remembered the last time I tried to do something like this and it rained before I even had the chance to put the plan into action. This time nothing was going to stop me. Nothing was going to make me not ask her to be mine.
The last thing I had to do before my hours of work would be done and hopefully worth all the stress was setting up our seats. Weeks ago I’d order giant bean bags for us with the hopes that she would actually come back for the summer and we could start over. I’d gotten hers in a galaxy-like style because she loved to look at the stars. I’d even paid the extra to have her name spelled out with the stars like a constellation. Mines was a simple grey and blue color with my name spelled across it. Mickey and Minnie.
They were big enough to lay in like a bed, whether it be alone or together. I had also customized blankets in a similar pattern; and just to make things a little bit more comfortable I had gotten some decorative pillows just to add around it. After setting the cooler between the two bean bags behind the table, I was finally done and couldn’t wait for her to get home.
Tonight was the night. Tonight was the night that I finally asked Maria to be my girlfriend. I was finally in a good place… a better place than I was accustomed to. I was learning to move on without hating myself for doing so. I was finally starting to understand that I wasn’t a bad guy. Yes, I’d done some bad things and made mistakes that I couldn’t take back, but I had learned from them. I was better because of them.
I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror and not have to struggle to make eye contact. I was able to stop walking around with the weight of shame holding me down. I was beginning to be a better man for her. I was headed down a road I had no intention of turning back from; not this time.
… … … … … … … …
I was starting to get worried as I checked my phone for the time again.
Where could she be and why was she taking so long to get here? I had time to grab a shower and all. With the way I was sweating from concern and nerves my grey wife beater was starting to stick to me and the blue joggers were turning out to be a bad idea.
Was she mad at me?
Did she hate me now?
Would she really believe Phoenix over me?
She’d known me since I first moved here what now felt like forever ago and it was like- no. I wasn’t allowed to go there anymore. I had to have faith in the girl that held my heart in her hands. I had to believe and understand that she truly knew me in a way that I wasn’t sure even Natalie would understand. In a way that I didn’t even understand but I had faith in. She was my other half and all I had to do was wait. I’d waited this long a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. Just as I sat down my phone vibrated. I got excited thinking it was her, but it was just her dad.
Mr. Anise: She’s on her way. David I’m trusting you with my little girl. I see what you two can’t, what you are only beginning to see. Don’t let me down son.
Now my heart was pounding. It felt real. This was it. This was finally my moment. I was scared shitless.
By the time I got home all I wanted to do was wash my face, call Dave over to cuddle and just relax for the time being. I was both mentally and emotionally drained from the day and breaking down to my father made it no better. I hadn’t felt like that since graduation; since the day that I left. I had to admit though that I felt like I’d gotten decades of pain off my shoulders after talking to him. To know that he still saw me as me after everything meant more to me than I ever thought it would.
I knew that I still needed to talk to Dave, but right now, it could wait. I just wanted to have at least one peaceful night for us to just be us. Yawning, I headed towards the stairs with the intent to go up them, but the dogs were right at my feet barking to go out. It was almost funny. During everything they just stayed quiet and slept and now that we were home they were wild.
“Come on guys, I just want to relax.” I whined trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. As usual they didn’t listen. The only time they got like this was when Dave was around, but that couldn’t be it because he said that he would be at practice all day. They weren’t hungry because they literally just ate the moment we came in. Maybe they just wanted a bit more exercise. Sucking in a deep breath I forced myself to take a step towards the back door. At least that way I would be able to relax as they ran around. They were still barking and running around my feet. “Okay, okay I’m coming.” I groaned.
The moment I opened the door and stepped onto the patio my mouth dropped. The sun was just starting to set giving the area even more of a glow. It was beautiful and almost brought tears to my eyes as I looked around. Finally my eyes landed on his. The first thing I noticed was that we were dressed alike and I couldn’t help but laugh. Stepping off the porch I took the opportunity to really look around.
“I got all your favorites.” he all but whispered as I finally stood in front of him. He grabbed my hand and led me towards the bean bag chairs. I gasped seeing mine. He’d made me his own personal constellation. I was barely holding it in as I sat down. He had no clue how much I truly needed something like this right now, but he still knew. He winked as he handed me a bottle of grape juice and I laughed.
“David Micheal, what is all of this?” I breathed honestly amazed. Maybe this unexplainable connection we had went further than just dressing alike. Maybe it was also emotionally based. He always knew when I needed him most and vice versa. He stared at me for a moment with a goofy, nervous but cute smile before opening his mouth to speak.
“Ever since that random chance of your dogs running into my backyard and finding me that first day that I moved here and liking me instead of attacking, I’ve been obsessed with you. You went from the beautiful girl next door with amazing pups who I shared a lot in common with, to my best-friend almost instantaneously. The only things that I would change about the entire situation is accepting that money and sleeping with Clarissa. Everything else brought me closer to you than I thought was possible. You didn’t know all that I was going through at first. How broken and misunderstood I felt...that I was. Whatever it was that you initially saw in me, you looked past it. You allowed my truth to shine through. Yes we’ve hit our bumps in passing, but we always come right back together. Minnie you are the best thing to have ever happened to me and will never fully grasp just how much I needed you then. I didn’t even know how much I needed you until I didn’t have you anymore. I know all of this sounds like I planned it out, but that’s only because I’ve had damn near two years to think about this all.” he paused as I laughed. I could still remember thinking what I said sounded like an insult. At least now I knew he thought it too.
“I didn’t mean it like that Mickey.” I said for what felt like the umpteenth time as he just laughed to himself.
“When you finally opened your mouth to speak back, fuck I felt like I was hearing the voice of an angel. I knew my first instinct was right and in this moment, it had only been confirmed even more. You became the only person I could trust; the only person I could truly talk to without fear of judgement, but still my past… that you were unaware of… held me back. I friendzoned you. I wasn’t lying Minnie, I really was sad and alone back there. I wanted a friend, no, I needed a friend. I was determined to start anew without the rumors making it hard. I have the pups to thank for that. I never would have had the courage to talk to you otherwise. The fact that you didn’t cower away from me, and let’s face it, I’m a big guy, and no trace of fear ever filled your eyes is why I opened my mouth and tried. It felt good to be looked at normally again. Once I did it became so easy to do it again. We ended up connecting and just joking around.”
“Over a book.” I smiled, interrupting him. He nodded his head in agreement as he grabbed my hand. Butterflies filled my stomach as I felt the blush starting to stain my cheeks. If things went no further than just what he already said, it would still be perfect.
“First time meeting and we spent hours just talking. It was almost midnight before we called it quits and we still ended up texting for a few more hours. I don’t think that I could have made it through my junior year without you sane. You were more than a friend to me Maria and I’ll never be able to pay you back for helping me find myself again. I know I don’t deserve all that you are, but I’ll try my damndest to earn it everyday. Talking to you every morning and every night was the highlight of my day; and I hated every second that it was taken away from me. I never want either of us to lose ourselves again. I want to be each other anchor. When it all begins to be too much, it’ll be me there to ground you and save you from sinking and vice versa. You are my heart Minerva and now I know just how big of a piece has your name on it. I look forward to spending the day with you and the kids. I love having you take up my time. Between work, school and practice you are legit the best part of my day; and it’s been like that since the end of sophomore year when I first moved here. Whether we’re going out or cooking together, or simply walking around with them. I enjoy every millisecond of it. I love teasing you and having you tease me back. I love how passionate you get when you’re mad at me. Shows me just how much you really care. You ain’t trying to hurt me or push me away, you’re speaking from hurt; a language that I understand so well. You’re trying to get me to open my eyes and see the truth and now I do. I see it so clearly it hurts. I love you and them more than I ever thought I would be capable of again after all that happened with Natalie and Persephone. I knew from the day that I met you, the second that I saw you, that you were all I wanted, but I was scared. I’m not scared anymore Minnie. I want you and only you, no one else. I. Love. You. I love you with every last breath in my body from the bottom of my heart and nothing nor no one can change that. I want you now and always.” Every part of me wanted to kiss him, hug him, and cry yes over and over. First, I needed him to know just how much alike we really were though. Apart from how much we dressed alike and the food we liked to eat.
I don’t know what I was expecting from her once I finished, but I definitely wasn’t expecting her to just sit there staring at me. Maybe I had misread everything and she just used me to scratch an itch. Maybe I had waited too long and her feelings for me had passed. Maybe I-
“Baby say some please.” I begged starting to feel a sinking feeling in my gut as I cut off my internal rant. I knew that rejection was possible, but I honestly believed I still had a chance. I knew she felt the same that I felt. I knew from deep within my ballsack the attraction we shared was more than lust. Still, with the way she was looking at me, every muscle in my body tensed up with the anticipation of her rejection. Finally, she began to open her mouth as a single tear slid down her cheek.
“When I first met you, I was scared of you. I thought you were going to be the kind of boy that would always hit on me no matter how many times I rejected you. After two years of rumors and hell, I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t handle being vulnerable to anyone else. When I found out about your lies, it wasn’t you I was mad at, it was me. It was so easy for me to revert to old ways. You have been completely honest with me and yet, they’re still some things that I’ve kept to myself. Mostly because I fear what people will say if they knew the entire truth.” I was shocked, but expected this confession. I knew it was something that she was holding onto, but I knew better than to press it. I didn’t want to pressure her into revealing anything about herself until she was absolutely ready.
“Nothing you can say will make me change my mind about you Maria. Besides who am I to judge?” I joked which only made more tears fall down her beautiful face. Her gorgeous eyes were so sad and my heart ached for her. What could it have been? How bad was it?
“Only a few people know this, including the police. After everything came out they questioned me and assured me that under the circumstances it was still wrong. Somehow, I still feel like they’re wrong. Like a false claim was made on my behalf.” she half laughed, half scoffed, but it was clear she saw no humor in whatever it was she was about to tell me.
“I’m here baby. I’m not going anywhere.” I whispered, bringing her hand to my lips and placing a gentle kiss on it.
“When I was a freshman, I was young, naive and instantly popular. My mom loved it and me. So I played the part that I was expected to play. As you know John had an older brother. His name was Jace. Everyone always questioned why he would go in the room, or why I was placed in there. It was simple. It was a secret only Clarissa knew and we played right into it.” she paused again to pointlessly try to wipe away her tears before taking a swing of her drink.
“What is it Minnie?” I cooed reaching over to rubbed her back soothingly.
“I met Jace one day after cheer practice. He was telling me all of the things that I wanted to hear. How I was the prettiest on the team and how I was the most talented one. How the other girls couldn’t even compare to who I was, how I looked and how talented I was. I believe it all and soaked it in. Like I said, I played the part my mom always wanted me to play. I liked the way he talked and how he made me feel, but I knew people would feel some kind of way about our relationship. We had a few years between us with me being a freshman and him being a senior. So we began to see each other in secret. It was everything that I thought, that I was raised to believe, love was. Foolishly, I thought I could trust someone who was supposed to be my best-friend. I confided in Clarissa, and told her everything. It had been a secret for a little over two months and I thought I was head over heels in love with him. A few weeks after I told her everything, I started noticing she would ask more and more questions…. In front of people. Now that I’m older, I realize that she was only trying to get us caught; but I was naive. I believed she was my friend. In my mind it was the first time any one of us had done something like this and I thought she was just excited. I didn’t know how wrong I was.” she paused again to stand up and move away from me. She looked so guilty and again I had a sinking feeling in both my stomach and heart.
“Baby?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself. The jealous part of me wanted her to know that she was still mine. So much so I couldn’t even use her name.
“I’m so sorry Dave. I led you to believe a lot of me, because it felt nice to be seen as innocent again. I swear to you that you are my first in the only way that matters most. I gave my virginity to you wholeheartedly, but you were not my first attempt. You were not my first kiss. I’ve been played with before, but I never let him actually enter me, finger or otherwise. I’ve been eaten out. I’ve given hand jobs, but was always too afraid to actually put it in my mouth. I’ve given tit jobs and let him cum all over them. I’m innocent in the way that matters most. He never pressured me to go further, he understood. He was sweet to me. That was why when Clarissa went over to him he believed her. It’s why she placed me in his room on her bed. After she got locked up, I went to visit her. It was stupid, but I had to know. I needed to know the truth. It was right before graduation and I needed to know. She told me everything. Clearly she didn’t tell him that I liked him, she told him that I was finally ready and was waiting for him in the room. She said I had taken something to help me relax. She promised him that I was okay with it and went as far as to show him a message that she sent to herself from my phone. She planned it all and made sure to cover her tracks. The message had been deleted from my phone. Jace was drunk. He meant no harm, but he believed her. She had the proof and she was my best-friend. He knew that she knew about us. So why wouldn’t he believe her? She had the audacity to brag to my face how she knew the moment we entered high school she was going to stab me in the back. She salivated in anticipation of the moment I found out. She knew me well enough to know that it would hurt more coming from others instead of her. She knew I would come to her for answers and she saved the best for last. Her last stake through my heart was the admittance of the fact that she had been fucking you the entire time I was trying to get your attention. That was why I left and didn’t come back until now. I felt stupid, foolish. Everyone knew. She had taken Jace from me and now she had you too. I couldn’t handle it. She made my mom hate me. She made me question my father. She ruined everything. She was the reason Caterpillar died. For years I thought I was the one who had left the chocolate lying around that she’d consumed. My parents said it was old age, but I knew the truth. She looked me in the face and laughed as she admitted it. She hated me enough to hurt an innocent puppy. I never saw her for who she was and I lost so much because of it. I bottled it all up and when I went to college I let it all out in all of the wrong ways possible. For Christmas break, I went somewhere. I brought a plane ticket and had gone to see someone I hadn’t in years. I needed answers from him too. When I got there and saw him for the first time all these teenage, unresolved feelings came back. We talked, he apologized and one thing led to another. That entire weekend we barely left his apartment. We fucked any and everywhere possible. I let my demos use my body and possess me. I became someone I no longer recognized and I enjoyed it. It’s no wonder Phoenix reacted the way he did. Between what I did to him and what you did to his sister, he hated us.” she was smirking evilly. Almost laughing at whatever it was that she did. It scared me to see just a glimpse of that demon within her, but it made my monster laugh with her. This part of her appealed to the part of me I wanted to bury.
“What happened between you two Minnie?” I was surprised that I was still so calm about the entire thing,
“I played with his heart.” she giggled to herself. “I saw the signs. I knew he was falling for me, but I just wanted someone to feel as bad as I did. So I’d pull him close and every time I felt like he was getting a little too comfortable I’d push him away and ghost him. This little game of mine lasted a few months. Every time I pushed and he’d start talking to other girls I’d raised hell and throw a fit. I’d spit so many profanities at him accusing him of stepping out repeatedly striking him daring him to do something back. I had lost my mind. It wasn’t until after Christmas break, after Jace that I decided to get some help and try to bury this demon. One thing remains, no matter how much I try to ignore it, and that’s how much I love you. How much I want you, but I can’t be with you a hundred percent without you really knowing who I am.”
She was twiddling her thumbs and I knew she expected me to just walk away and never look back, but my heart just wouldn’t let me. Even with all the new information, I still wanted her. We could discuss anything else later. Letting a smile take over my features, I wasted no time getting to my feet and closing the distance between us. The moment my lips were on hers as my arms wrapped around her holding in place fireworks exploded. I could feel her arms lifting up to wrap around me as the little monster in me rejoiced chanting that she was perfect for us. For once I actually agreed with him.
“I love you and only you. I can’t imagine my life without you. Please be my girlfriend.” I breathed, breaking our liplock as I placed my forehead against hers.
“I wouldn’t have any other way.” she whispered back a smile of her own taken over her features before I placed my lips on hers again. She really was perfect for me in every way possible.