Chapter thirty six
Chapter Thirty six.
All three of them stayed silent for a long time; it seemed longer than with anyone else and I wasn't sure if it was because they didn't know who should speak up first or if they were still processing everything I had told them.
Just like with Cameron and Aiden, I kept the details to a minimum - they didn't need to know the full extent of the horrors I'd endured.
Jamie stood up suddenly and left the room without saying anything. That was a reaction I wasn’t prepared for; He was devoid of any expression as he walked out.
My eyes flickered to the remaining brothers; did I wait for them to unfreeze or run after Jamie.
Before I could make my mind up Sam spoke up...
"Alex..." He looked just about ready to cry.
"Sammy," I tried to tease lightly before growing serious, "I'm alright, it's not a childhood I'd recommend, but I got through it and now I'm here with you guys, I know it's not my right to ask you not to treat me any differently, because I'm not the same person you knew all those years ago, but I promise I'm okay, or at least I'm getting better." I smile at the two brothers.
"I see a therapist on Wednesdays, that's where I've been going every week, although she can be a pain in my butt," I think back to this past weeks appointment and frown. "She's actually helping me push through things and she's one of the reasons I'm telling you guys all this now."
Lucas stands up, and I fear he's going to walk out like Jamie had, instead he walks over to where I'm sitting and gets on his knees so I'm looking down at him. I watch him put his hands gently on my knees and smile sadly up at me.
He somehow knew I'd feel more comfortable with him in a weaker position, not standing over me but lowering himself in front of me.
"Thank you, for trusting and telling us, and even though we didn't know the reasons why... we knew you were different when you came here; quieter, didn't want to be touched, stumbled over your words. In hindsight we probably should have realised something." He looks down guiltily.
I stroke my hand through his hair and then reach his chin to lift his eyes back to me, he leans his head into my hand.
"You couldn't have known, and I didn't want yous to know... not then anyway, you're right though, I shrunk back from contact with anyone and I was a hell of a lot quieter." I laugh lightly, "bet you wish that one had stuck... I don't stutter around you guys anymore because I trust you all, I'm not scared to be near any of you, alone, together... it doesn't matter, I love you guys. You're my family."
I pull Lucas closer to me and wrap my arms around him, his head leans into my stomach and he grips me tight, embracing me.
"You're next." I say to Sam who looks equal parts proud and somber.
"Can I be after him?" A voice whispers from the doorway "I'm sorry I ran off, I didn't get far, just behind the door so I heard everything you said. Alex, I can't begin to express how angry, sad and impressed I am. You never should have had to go through what you did, and if Derek was here right now, I don't think I'd be able to control myself from just killing him on the spot," he takes a deep breath trying to calm down "but how you've dealt with it and still get up in the morning is more than commendable, you're amazing." I feel Lucas nodding along with Jamie's words.
A strong feeling washed over me; they really believed I was this strong person that had fought her way through and come out the other end. It made me want to believe, and somehow I knew that one day with their help and the help of Dr Greene I would get there.
"Thanks you guys, really... you've no idea what it means to know you don't see me the way I was always afraid people would see me after I told them my secret. I'm glad I got to move in with you."
We talk the afternoon away and finally find enough peace to laugh and joke with each other.
When Aiden finally emerges he looks tired and worn out but when he finds my eyes they shine with adoration.
"She wasn't pleased, and called me all the names under the sun... everyone of them I deserved. Apparently she's been talking to a guy in one of her lectures... she assured me that nothing had happened 'unlike you I can stay faithful' she said, but I reckon if I hadn't broken up with her it was going to happen pretty soon if she was talking to someone else. Right?"
"Oh definitely." Lucas agreed.
"It was coming soon everyone could see it." Jamie added.
"Best thing for everyone it seems." Sam ended.
"Are you okay?" I ask, already making my way into his arms. He wraps me up and leans his head on my shoulder breathing deeply.
"I am now." He whispers blowing air across my skin making my shiver.
A little while later Aiden gets a call and takes it outside while the rest of us continue to watch our movie and eat the pizza we ordered.
When he comes back he looks thunderously angry.
"That was officer Crowley from last night, they've spoken to Martin and his parents. It seems somehow no actual charges are going to be filed because they've assured the police he's being sent to a military based boarding school. I reckon this isn't the first time they've had issues with that kid and are clearly at the end. It makes me so mad that he's basically getting away with what he's done and I don't even want to think about what he might have already done to others. The only good thing is that he's leaving. The legal system is so corrupt, it's easier to just let the parents deal with this so they don't have to, they probably bribed them with a nice little donation as well." He fumes as he paces in front of us.
"Aiden, it sucks for sure," I say, standing and bringing him to a halt before pulling him back onto the sofa, "but let's look on the bright side, he's gone, and honestly, I have to deal with courts and lawyers and everything soon for Derek... I don't really want to have to add Marty into that as well, maybe it's better he's out of our hair now." I stroke his face while he calms down.
"Maybe you're right... he should have to be punished though... I hope he gets the shit kicked out of him at military, on a daily basis."
I laugh "Well, Matt got him pretty good last night, and it looked like he scared him so hopefully that's all he needed."
"He did get him good didn't he." Lucas chuckles.
I snuggle closer to Aiden and put my head on his chest, he kisses the top of my head and we go back to watching the movie.
Today had ended differently than I'd imagined, but I had my Spencer boys around me and I was safe. It's all I could ask for.