He takes a knife off of the table full of objects and brings it to my throat. "You fucking bitch, you think I wouldn't notice you stealing from the first aid kit." There are silent tears streaming down my face as I look ino his eyes. Smack. The loud noise of my pleas and screams for him to stop as he keeps hitting me. "Stoooooopppp!!!!"
I wake up with Momma shaking me awake. "Baby, its okay, it's okay, it was just a dream" she coos in my ear rubbing down my soaked sweaty shirt. I'm full on sobbing like the ridiculous person I am. I just wish I were normal. Why couldn't I have been normal. Momma didn't come home last night and I fell asleep reading in bed.
"Whe-re were y-ou?" I sob. I don't want to make her feel bad for not comeing home, I really don't but I needed her. She's the only thing that makes me happy and without her I would be long gone. "I'm sorry baby, my boss wanted my job switched, I'm really sorry I couldn't be with you" I look up and see nothing but guilt and honesty in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm so messed up. I wish I was normal, momma. Why couldn't I be normal" I sob into her already soaked shirt. "Shhh baby, you are normal you just went through more than others. But if you think that you are so emotionally and mentally damaged you should get a therapist." I shake my head no.
"Why baby, it will help you" She's says. "It's stupid" looking down shamefully. I hate being vonrebal. "Baby nothing you say is stupid, anything you say is important." "I feel like...... I don't know......... if I say it out loud it becomes real, not just a nightmare." I say while the tears are silently falling down. "Ohh" she says soflty. A tear falls down her face and I bring up my trebling hand and wipe it.
"Ember I don't know what to tell you" she sighs. I've never told anyone what happened to me so I can tell she's struggling. "It's okay Momma I'm fine" Im definatley not. I feel as if the more I try to live past it the more I start freaking out. She looks at me obisouly not believeing me. "How about we do a girls day, we can do what ever you like" "What about your work and I don't want to be a bother" I say.
"Nonsense we haven't been spending time together and I leave work at 3 and come home at 4 in the morning so I have plentry of time." I nod still hating that I'm wasting her time. "Now go back to sleep it's 1 in the morning"she says sternly, little does she know that I never sleep after the nightmares.
I lay down and try to go to sleep. She leaves the room after kissing my foread saying to be reading by 9. I try to go to sleep for a while but it never happens. It's currently 2:47 in the morning so I decide to do some walking. I walk downstairs and my eyes land on the back patio door. As I walk toward it I'm deciding if I should go outside to see if Bentley is there.
I open the door and walk down the patio stairs. The bushes start moving and Im beyond scared but in the depth of my head a voice tells me that it could be over. To let whatever is in the bushrs to take me and die. I wouldn't have nightmares, I wouldn't be so fucked up. But the fammilar sight of Bentley comes out and I run into his soft chest and start to cry. I hate myself.
I couldn't sleep. It's wierd but I want to sleep with her not alone. I want to see her so I get up and walk out of the packhouse. I undress in the woods before letting Bentley be free and he happily starts running to Ember house. Once we reach it I am consumed by her amazing scent she shouldn't be out here this late. But when I emerge from the thick trees she hurls herself into Bentleys chest and cries. I am shocked. WHO THE FUCK HURT MY EMBER. Bentley nessels his massive snout in her neck breathing in her scent.
"Why a-m I s-so mes-messed up" she sobs into Bentleys chest. My baby is so brocken.
I want to change into human form and just tell her it's going to be okay, that I'm here and I'll let no one hurt her.