I had a lot of time to think about my actions, wether they were foolish or not depends on the person. I probably should feel bad seemingly Caroline was not in the best of shape after our encounter, but do I regret it? Hell no, she deserved every punch and slap she received not only for me but all the others she has wronged and I'm sure there is many of them.
In hindsight I could, have done it when there was less of an audience, but -- I just couldn't give up the opportune chance that had arisen. And I kinda do feel more disappointed in myself rather than anything else. Because of my quote unquote actions, the Lunar Council deemed me a danger to myself and others and until they remove the markings I'm to be secluded from the pack.
So here I am in a white padded room, with a blanket in the corner and only 2 tiny windows up real high, that I can get nowhere near. I've been stripped of anything that could be used to harm myself or others and dressed in a hospital gown. How demeaning, do they think I'm on the crazy train now? next stop Lunatics-ville! Wishful thinking boys!
So I'm right now lying in the middle of the padded floor staring at the white ceiling. I think a sane person might become crazy in a place like this, but I won't let that happen. Nathaniel still gotta pay for his transgressions that alone will be the driving force to keep me lucid.
Alpha Atreus brought me here, carried me the whole way and promised he wouldn't let them hurt me. I could feel the honesty in his words, he ment every single bit he said. Though I did notice a little change in tone when he spoke, it felt a little like dought which he swiftly corrected. I cannot blame him for that though, the Council are not to be trifled with and now that they are in the drivers seat it's going to be a bumpy ride.
A soft knock and a click got my attention as the padded door swung open. I stayed still in my spot my hair laying all around me as I looked to the shadow in the door, it was hidden until the clatter and shake of the persons tray and then their figure came closer. I was relieved and sat up to see a smiley faced Niamh holding it. She knelt down beside me putting the tray down then scrambled around a gave me a choking hug, I almost tumbled over with its strength.
In that moment I felt like a lost puppy found, the warmth of a mothers touch radiated off of her, even if she was only a few years older than myself some people have that ingrained in their soul..
It was all I needed and I hugged her tighter, thanking my lucky stars for such a kind hearted friend. We barley met and she still could put faith in me and care for me without really knowing me.
I couldn't hold back the few tears that slipped from my eyes. The people of this pack are true gems, well apart from the obvious two, the others I've met sure seem to be. When she pulled back we both laughed lightly seeing that the other was also shedding a tear.
"Sweety don't cry. There's something I need to tell you." She was on her knees before me holding my face in her hands and wiping my tears away with her thumb. "You have our support, all our support." I was a little confused by her words but she continued on explaining herself. "I mean all the moms and quite a few of the other females, I would say most."
"Why though?" I couldn't help but ask. "I mean I really appreciate your support but I'm new here, I've only met a handful of the pack I just don't understand why they would have my back."
"Your not the first couple that Caroline has interfered with, she's a home wreaker, most of us females can't stand her. But because she is a strong warrior and because she has an illicit affair going on with the Alpha there was little anyone can do about it. It was obvious when Nathaniel took her side over yours that she's got her claws in him aswell. I'm sorry darling, I had real high hopes for you guys." She rubs my face with care then hugs me again. This time I broke down and sobbed like a baby, it wasn't pretty but I needed the release.
"Thank you." Is all I managed to get out between the snuffled cries and sobs.
"No need to thank me darling, we girls gotta stick together. Now sit up and get something into your tummy we can't have my little pups new teacher getting sick." She smiled and nudged me to eat, I struggled at first then after the first few bites I managed to finish most of the food. We talked for a while, even laughed a bit about how she and many others had wished they could have been there, to witness Carolines beat down. She even threw a few right hooks and kicks, her actions as bad as my usual ones and we rolled over laughing hard at her terrible attempts to show her fighting skills. We were no warriors, neither she nor I. We talked for a while longer before she had to return to work.
When the door clicked shut I fell back on the ground, letting the last of my pent up emotions out, until I drifted off in exhaustion, my emotional state wreaking havoc on my energy. It wasn't until the sweet scent of whiskey and the forest tickled my senses that I stirred awake. I could feel soothing warmth and my eyes flitted open.
"You should at least use the blanket to keep yourself warm." The towering blue eyed Alpha said after he wrapped me in it.
"I'm not a baby you know! I can do that myself." I huffed, like a baby! and rolled over pulling the blanket up and over my head. So much for not acting like a baby, huh! I cringed at my own behaviour but before I could apologise the Alpha began to speak.
"I'm sorry this has happened to you, I know it must be very difficult right now. Being stuck in here doesn't help, but you have to trust me. I won't allow any harm to happen to you believe it or not. I also want to apologise for throwing you in at the deep end with the council. I didn't like their plan, but that's no excuse because I still went with it. Its the last time I will blindly follow them. If it's any consultation my home office is a little worse for wear, it got the hard end of the stick when I found out their plans."
It was another heartfelt apology from Alpha Atreus, under normal circumstances I would be shocked that he would even bother. Alpha's tend to have a very strong domineering personality, saying I'm sorry doesn't usually fit with that type but right here and now I'm too caught up in self pity and hatred to pay heed to his out if character actions.
"I accept, but maybe next time your in a quandary go with your gut, so far mines never steared me wrong. Strike that actually its steared me very wrong." Then I laughed bitterly thinking about how my gut sent, no lunged me towards Nathaniel, the mate from hell! I really am the worst wolf, no survival instincts whatsoever.
Still hidden under the blanket curled in a ball, I listened to my Alpha, my leader as he spoke comforting words to me. Now that he returned today I peeked out to get a glimpse and saw the resignation within him.
Having spent hours in talks with the council and after seeing the toll on my body he agreed to their reasoning but insisted that I be freed of any and all charges and that it be made known I was innocent. I cried when he told me, his support was everything, without it who knows where I would have ended up.
The council could easily choose to terminate me or dump me in a cell, to rot away but with his backing I at least had a chance.
He left not long after, what needed to be said was and so we parted. The lingering scent of whiskey and the forest soothed me for a while but trapped in a room with nowhere to go and nothing to do my mind began to wander again.
One thing this place has allowed me to do was reflect on my time since arriving in this pack. Theres so many questions unanswered, like why did Nathaniel bring me here if he despises me so much?
Why did he act so different before?
Was Caroline the mastermind?
And why did I always feel so connected to the Alpha?
Why was it that my body lit up at his touch?
Why could I get lost in his deep blue eyes and why did it feel like home when he held me in his arms?
I just don't understand any of it! The more I think about it all the more confused and angry I feel.
There's one question to top them all though -- why did the Moon Godess mark me?
Does she really have it in for me or is something else going on?
And if I'm so unworthy as everyone who's in the know now believes, why bother?
Or was this a punishment?
Well that was more than one question but I guess all divert back to the main one...
Why mark me?
The hardest thing is -- I have to agree when everyone speculated I am too weak, because I had miraculously tapped into whatever power came with the mark and let me tell you this, I didn't even know there was a power yet somehow I managed to use it. My strength and speed had increased tenfold but the consequences for that -- my wolf and body all but gave out. Oriel is an omega, making me an omega and no matter how I train or work out that fact won't change.
The harsh truth is I'm the weak ass bunny that everyone loves to call me, this was never more evident than in the aftermath of my now infamous attack on Caroline the whore! OK OK I know I should give it a rest with the names but it just so happens I can't, or maybe I refuse to. I guess I've lost control of my life but this is one thing I can control and to me Whore and Caroline go hand in hand.
Then there is Nathaniel, oh- Nathaniel Nathaniel Nathaniel! My head automatically shakes thinking about my cheating mate, our relationship is cemented in stone now and thrown into the depths of a dying ocean to drown and never to return from. That kick he sent my way was the true end, any and all affection is gone!!
Oriel and I are his mate, she was supposed to be the other half of his wolf's soul yet they took us both down with such brutality that Oriel has retreated into herself, her strength gone and with her mate treating her so badly.
She now accepted that he was not the right match for us. What hurts the most though is the affect has been so devastating that I can barely feel her any longer, she is there but like a ghost of her former self. More harm has been done to her by Nathaniel than anything else including me tapping into a mark that I shouldn't have. It makes me wish I never came here, never met that son-of-a-bitch!
Thinking back to a few weeks ago my excitement for a new beginning with my mate, how naive I was. I believed in new beginnings, I had hope for my future. I wasn't a warrior or leader, I didn't ask for this mark or desire the power, I now know it held. I was just content to be a teacher to guide the younger generations so that I at least felt some kind of fulfilment in my life. To help others was to help me.
Memories of my little apartment flooded my mind, I had so many happy times there and now I wished I could return to that dinghy little place, because it was mine. The first home I had made for myself, without the pity, I payed for it, I worked to live there, it may have been small and required alot of maintenance but it was mine, and I missed it so.
Where do I go now?
Back to the house I shared with a mate who doesn't want me?
That's not an option I think I can take. Do I still have a job, after all the trouble I've caused. Do I even want to stick around in this pack, I feel indebted to them for the support but could I watch my fated shack up with another. I had thought of going with Quinn but she hasn't shown up since this morning, could I even do that? It was time to stand on my own two feet, to be responsible and an adult. I can't always run away from my fears and worries this time I am going to face them head on.
Eventually, I drifted off. To thoughts of blue eyes and scents of the forest...
Then she's there again, conjured out of wisps and buttflies till she stands tall and strong atop the dune, with her hair billowing in the wind. Streching out my hand I touch her finger tip and she smiles then speaks in a soft tone...
I will see you soon -- my heart...