I was here again…
On the beach, amongst the sand dunes. Though this time, it felt different! The fear had been replaced with a feeling of completeness. The panic I had always felt was gone, and I took a moment to just breathe…
The wind began to tousle my hair and the salty sea air now felt enticing and I look about for the same woman who had haunted me for most of my life.
I still don’t understand the significance of it all. Running through the long marram grass that was swaying in the breeze I finally could see something moving up ahead. I picked up the pace even as the course spikes brushed against my legs, prickling my skin a sensation like pins and needles, strange but I couldn’t care less.
I need to get to her; she is the only one that can give me answers and I desperately wanted some…
Something tickles my shoulder; I turn my head to see the culprit to see a butterfly flit and then fly away. Mesmerized by its beauty, I stop and watch as it flies up and up, only then do I notice that I am stood at the bottom of that dune.
The one that I always end up clambering up, to reach the woman that calls to me.
This time though she is still nowhere in sight… I quickly look about again checking to see if I am missing something. This is the same dream and yet so different. To my chagrin still she is a no-show.
My attention returns to the giant sand dune and I watch the butterfly climb to the heights, surprisingly so, even in the wind that blows it still manages to make its way higher and higher until it disappears into the sharp grass that covers this giant mound.
Out of ideas I begin my accent up the colossus. Yet again I feel the difference in this dream, similar to my usual torment yet strange at the same time. My feet sink with each step, my footing is so much stronger and stable, easily allowing me to make my way up the dune in no time at all.
How peculiar is this! The one time I easily summit the dune, the one person I am always trying to get to… is nowhere to be found!
I wonder still where the butterfly has disappeared to? Then notice it lit on a bush blooming with moonflowers. They are now blossoming as the sun has set, I hadn’t even noticed until now that the stary night was deepening. It flutters always again amongst the beautiful white blooms and lost amongst the giant flowers.
All white, all beautiful, I admired their beauty looking across the large bush until something caught me off guard. Two electric blue eyes staring at me through the brush… almost invisible as its white fur blended so well into its surroundings.
Was it her, was she just like me? A Werewolf?
It leapt out, I stumbled backwards a few steps, it stalked slowly towards me. I could feel it’s immense power, its strength was immeasurable.
Certainly, I should be feeling fear and terror, I didn’t have the ability to shift, Oriel wasn’t present with me here. I am all alone and yet It did not feel that way, nor did I feel the fear I should have.
On the contrary I was almost wanting to reach out and touch the beauty that now sat before me. It showed no anger towards me. No…
It looked happy and curious. Then it pushed itself up and walked closer to me, this time I did not move. I waited…
To see what it would do, after all… this was a dream, what damage could it really inflict upon me?
I calmed my heart and took deep breaths with each step it took closer. Willing myself to stay strong and show the mystical animal that I was worthy of its company. That I deserved to be here, just like it did, I do not know why these feelings suddenly arose within me, but I accepted and embraced them.
It just felt right, and true…
Putting my head back and looking to the moon, I left my hands to hang free by my sides. I was strong, free but I was also ready for whatever the wolf would bring to me.
I wanted and desired its presence here and always.
I wished I could be as strong as it, that I could stand up and fight for all the things that I loved, that I could protect them too. To no longer be the weak link but be the final missing piece of the jigsaw.
I could sense it sniff me taking in my scent, it circled around my body.
I don’t know what I expected or what would happen, but I just gave in, surrendering myself almost offering myself to it.
It was the strangest moment, even after all the years that I had experienced these dreams, this one felt more significant.
Like a shift in the world had taken place and now everything that I had once accepted as my life my reality was now somehow changed.
It gave me pause for thought, and while I stared at the night sky, the stars twinkling like little diamonds I was reminded of all that I had been through in the past weeks.
My home has changed, my perspective has changed, my body has changed, my love has changed even my mate is changed to someone new. Someone better.
The wolf brushed against me, across my back then through and round the front, nudging its head under my arm and continued round as my hand and arm swept across its back. The sensation was immense, and a great deal of sorrow welled up inside me.
A feeling of loss…
Tears covered my cheeks. I could not decipher what or why I felt such an ache grow but it was there, and it was old. Long hidden in the depths of my soul only now breaking free.
What had I lost?
Only the touch of the wolf was soothing, closing my eyes I absorbed the memory of this moment. Every breath, every scent and the touch of its beautiful fur coat as it swept around me until its wet nose touched my own.
Then it brushed its face against mine, like it was marking me. Though what for was another question I couldn’t quite understand.
The wind picked up, my hair swept about me all, crazed and unkempt. The marram grass did the same and I could feel the sand whip around at the bottoms of my feet and legs. The place had now become the center of a storm and I opened my eyes only to drift off into the storm.
The wolf gone…
The butterfly lost…
I awoke with a start and sat up gasping for air.
All that had happened was a dream and yet I felt bereft, like I had left a part of me behind. I calmed myself down, knowing full well this was another one of the tricks life likes to play on me.
Atreus’ muscular form was lying beside me. His arm was strewn across my body as he slept deeply, laying on his stomach.
The ripples of his muscles just from breathing were beautiful to me, everything about him was. I just sat there in awe and delight knowing now that we were bonded, mates for life.
It is hard to believe only days ago I felt as if I was in a chasm of fear, loneliness and pain.
This beautiful dark-haired man beside me has brought new life to my weary soul. I will never be able to repay him for this. I thought I had been ruined and now I have the chance of a new life and new beginning.
Atreus even wants me to be his Luna.
I hadn’t even thought about the ramifications of that. Oh Goddess, I am now the Luna of The Dark Orb of Knights. This is unexpected! Huh!
I could feel a slight trembling sprout in my hands, and I held them out to inspect.
Panic is a devil that loves to taunt me, it is part of who I am. I have wished for as long as I can remember that I could rid myself of this infliction, but the shaking of my fingers is proof that I have yet to defeat this enemy.
I shut the lids of my eyes and breathe in calming myself, bringing me back to a place I can feel content when the calloused fingers of my mate entwine in my own.
“Don’t worry love, you will be amazing, and I will be with you to guide you and help you through the transition.” He grabbed me then and pulled me back down until I was lying on my back, within the blink of an eye he pinned me to the bed and captured my lips.
“Ah! Atreus stop that, morning breath, for the love of the Goddess please.” I beg him, but he laughs and kisses me harder until I give in once again losing my mind to this man.
My body was aching from last nights activities, so much for talking… if I do recall this was Atreus’ reason for returning to our apartment, or should I call it boudoir now!
When we finally come up for air, I lie in his arms enjoying the closeness and solidifying our bond. I giggle a little at how quick it was for us to go from discovering we are mates to actually sealing the bond between us. It is a far cry from the last experience I had.
“What are you giggling about?” Atreus asks probably knowing full well the answer.
“Oh… just that we went from like zero to sixty in record time!” I laugh again, I am just so happy, the dreams that haunted me in my sleep long forgotten. This was the now. In the arms of man!
“The truth will set you free…
I have heard that quote many times but, in our case, I think the truth has bound us together…
I will never let you go Paloma!!
I hope you know this. You are fully mine now and I keep what is mine. No one and nothing will get in the way of us. I have lost a bond like this before and I will never allow that to happen again.” Every word is said with such fervor and his eyes are filled with love and the desire to protect me, protect us. Its beautiful just like him.
“Atreus.” I say as I lay on his chest rubbing circles on his skin. “Yes Love.” He replies.
“I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that I want you in it. I want everything you do and more…
but there are factors here that both you and I cannot predict. Nathaniel and Caroline for one. How can they even do what they did?
How can they create a fake bond between two wolves and why did they do it in the first place?
I have been going over it and over it and it does not make any sense.
If it was, to keep us apart, then why?
Then again, what if it was not. What if you and I have just stumbled upon each other.
Can you imagine... we both could have lived separate lives apart from each other, never knowing the other existed to be our other half.” I shudder at the thought; it scares me but what scares me more is the power it must have taken to do such a wicked trick.
“I’m scared Atreus, whomever is behind this is devious and they have witchcraft or something like that.” My voice began to tremble when I spoke.
“Calm down love, there are too many variables and too many what ifs? You could spend an eternity worrying about them. Whatever is thrown at us we will deal with it together. We are one now…” he says and pulls me tighter onto his body.
There was worry mixed into his tone, though I could tell how resolute he is when it comes to us. He is a brick wall and anyone trying to break that down to part us will have great difficulty in doing so.
My thoughts went back to yesterday and all that has happened in the last twenty-four hours. Caroline’s appearance is still worrying to me. The fact she is claiming to be Atreus’ Mate gives me a sickly feeling in my stomach. I can’t even go to the idea that he would have believed her, especially now that our bond has been completed. It scares me so much.
I hope that the Paramount has gotten the answers we all need. That would set my head straight.
And again, I am reminded of yesterday, during the interrogation of Caroline. Elder Tsuki wanted to have a spell preformed on her and then Paramount took the lead…
Cogs start to spin in my head…
“Atreus…” I ask nervously.
“What was that look about?” I questioned him nervous for the answer.
“What look love.”
“The one you gave to Elder Tsuki after the Paramount took over Caroline’s interrogation.” I answered swiftly.
“Ah that…” he breathes deeply, pondering how to answer.
“Well you see, not everyone is on board with the methods that the Paramount uses and the people she keeps company with. Elder Tsuki and I would be two of those. The source of the witches she has on her payroll or under her control are questionable.”
“How so?” I ask my mind brimming with questions, upon questions. How was this woman even in the position she held?
“The Coven she is associated with…
Is a dark one. Known for cruelty, greed, murder the list goes on… but the most worrying acts they are known for is necromancy.”
“Necromancy.” I whispered in disbelief and gulped down in fear.