CHAPTER 34:HEARING THE TRUTH
So far the chat between them was going good,it made me think that Mason didn't mind me inviting Eoin to stay.I know this is only supposed to be me and him-No family involved.But I felt bad,Eoin looked a little upset as he looked through that box of old photos yet seeing Mason again cheered him up.
Mason is so guarded with the people that are in his life-with pretty much everyone actually.I've noticed how strained of a relationship he has with his Father,I know that they don't spend any time together unless it's in the office.That business seems to be all that he cares about.
"Business wasn't doing so good so my Father had to sell up.It's a shame really since that place was supposed to be my future."Eoin brought his bottled beer to his lips and gulped.
"I didn't know."Mason rested back in his chair with the look of guilt on his face."If you ever want a job in the city you know where I am."
"In the tallest building-I know!"Eoin smirked. "You're doing well for yourself Mason.With a thriving business that you're going to take over as your own pretty soon-Money galore and your own home."Eoin looked across the table at me."As well as the gorgeous Jamie here,to share it all with.You must be happy!"
That about sums it up doesn't it.Money,a fancy PH apartment and a strong business.Mason has everything he could possibly want in life.Eoin is wrong about the whole sharing it with Jamie thing,I would never take Mason's money.I appreciate Eoin's words though.
I chuckled lightly."You're sweet.Thank you!"
"Money isn't everything."Mason picked up his scotch glass and drank,the noise of the ice moving in his glass was the only sound at the table for a couple of moments.
"Something your Mother used to say,quite often actually."Eoin sighed."My Father is still broken up over what happened,you know how close they were.
I sat silently at the dinner table.Now there was talk of Penelope I wanted to hear what Eoin had to say,maybe I'll finally find out the truth.
"I'm sure he is."Mason said,with arms folded on the table. He looked away and it was clear that he was uncomfortable with the situation.
"It was a terrible night,one that none of us will ever forget."Eoin was holding his beer bottle between his hands,scratching the paper with his thumb nail."Your accident,it's not something that my Father blames you for."
Blame is brought up yet again!
"What accident?"I asked,because my curiosity had gotten the better of me and I just wanted to know.Once and for all!
"You don't know?"Eoin asked,before looking in Mason's direction."You didn't tell her what happened,I don't understand."
"That's enough!"Mason said,Harshly."This is not something that I want to discuss,i didn't tell her because I simply didn't want her to know."
"Why-What's going on?"I looked between the both of them hoping that one of them would give me an answer.I'm sure whatever it is,it's not as bad as Mason is making it out to be.
"You're together.You should tell her."Eoin was looking at Mason,before turning his attention to me.He exhaled loudly."Jamie..."
"I said that's enough!"Mason snapped,and stood from his chair in a rage."Dinner is over,you should leave before you say something you'll regret."The tension was in the air between them,between all of us actually.Mason left the table and took the stairs up to the second floor.
Eoin and I were left sitting silently in an uncomfortable situation.He stood from the table and released an audible sigh."I'm sorry,Jamie.I should never have intruded on your night.Thank you for dinner."Eoin grabbed his coat from the rack and put it on.
I walked towards him,pulling my grey wool knit cardigan over."I'm so sorry about this.When it comes to his Mom,I know how reluctant Mason can be to talk."
"I didn't mean to push him,Jamie."Eoin picked up the brown box of memories and walked towards the front door.I walked him to the front step feeling the breeze of a January's night.Eoin turned around and looked at me."I was surprised when Harry told me about you and Mason.He never let's anyone in,I thought he would have told you."
"He's guarded,I've tried but nothing seems to break through his walls."I shivered,feeling the cold against my skin.
"Maybe with time..."Eoin smiled lightly."It was nice meeting you,Jamie.Tell that cousin of mine that I'm sorry,Would Ya!!"
"Bye,Eoin!"I watched him retreat to his car, before I closed the front door of the beach house. I stood in silence,looking around the downstairs and the emptiness in front of me.Now what to do?
Clean I guess-It's clearly obvious that he needs his space right now.I'm not going to disturb him.I walked to the dinning table and picked up the plates from our take out dinner.I guess I better get stuck in.
The living room was spick and span,the kind of clean my Mother would be proud of.I had started on the kitchen twenty minutes ago,mid way through finding a memorial card with Penelope's face on it. She died two years ago today!
"Jesus!"I whispered.Two years ago to this very day,I could only imagine how he feels.Mason always acted like his Mother's death was a long time ago but it really wasn't.
"Jamie..."His voice came from behind me, causing me to turn around in a panic. Mason glanced down to the memory card what I was holding."What have you got there-in your hands?"
I extended my hand forward and showed him,and he took it from me and looked at it."I found it in the press when I was cleaning.I didn't know that it was Two years today,I wish you would have told me."
"It's none of your business,Jamie."He placed the card down on the island,face flat yet again."You keep insisting on knowing these things when you know damn well that I don't want you to know."
"How can you say that this is none of my business.This conversation has come up on plenty of occasions so of course I'm a little curious."I stepped closer to him."I just want to know what's going on in your head,Mason."
"Trust me-You don't!"Mason moved me aside and walked into the kitchen.He went straight to the bottle of Scotch and poured himself a glass."I don't want to talk about this."
"If you don't tell me,then I'm just going to find out off someone else."I sighed,and walked closer to him again."Stop drinking and just talk to me,Mason."I shouted,maybe a little louder than I wanted to.
He finished the contents of his glass and slammed it down on the counter,before turning his anger towards me."You really want to know what happened to my Mother."Mason shouted,and grabbed my upper arms."I KILLED HER,JAMIE! I KILLED MY OWN MOTHER!!"
My whole body had that weird feeling of numbness,all the while his words were playing over and over again in my head."I killed her,Jamie!I killed my own mother!"I don't understand.
"Now you know-Are you satisfied?"When I didn't answer he turned his back to me,he went back to the scotch filling his glass a second time."Two years ago tonight I crashed that fucking car and she was the one that paid the price.I lived and she didn't!"He drank from his glass.
"You were in an accident..."Now it makes sense-It all makes sense now."It isn't your fault,Mason.It was a car crash-You're not to blame for your Mother's death."
He turned around and looked at me,glared at me actually."How can you say that-Of course I'm to fucking blame!I had a drink that night and she didn't know-I didn't care.She's dead because I didn't care!"
This wasn't his fault,The accident was exactly that-Just an accident.Now I understand why Mason is the way he is,it's because of his Mother.All the blondes in his life being the opposite of her with me being the Exception!
"You're wrong about this,you can't hold onto this blame."I moved closer to him,moving my hands down the hard muscles on his arms and taking his hands in mine.Mason and I don't do hand holding-But I can't hold back any longer."Mason-I Lov..."
"Don't,Jamie!"He stopped me before I had a chance to finish."Go to bed and get some rest.We're leaving early in the morning."
I turned around and walked towards the stairs without getting the chance to tell him how I really feel.He knew what I was going to say,but he stopped me because the feeling isn't mutual.Standing on the first step I turned around and looked at him,he filled his glass yet again.
I thought I could change him-But I can't!! No one can change Mason Knight but Mason Knight himself!!
The driver pulled the car up outside my apartment block and Mason and I sat in awkward silence in the back seat.The whole journey had been silence,the whole morning since we woke up actually.He didn't even come to bed last night.
"I should go.Carmen is waiting on me."I reached for the handle of the door,preparing myself to leave without a word spoken between us.But he stopped me.
Mason looked ahead to the driver that was sitting upfront."Give us a minute."The driver stepped out of the car and closed the door.It was just Mason and I alone for whatever he was about to say."Jamie,I need to know now if we can make this work without feelings getting in the way."
I can't believe him!
"So you're saying,if I don't keep my feelings to myself this thing between us is over?"I was pissed,pissed that he was doing this to me after everything.
Mason didn't answer the question,instead he just looked away with a sigh.He couldn't even look at me-That's how much of a coward he was being.
"I guess I have my answer then."I stepped out of the car and decided to turned around and leave him some parting words of anger."You're a Coward,Mason!!"I slammed the door of the car,turned around and walked away.
I didn't look back...I couldn't!!