I sat on the couch in my living room with my blush coloured woollen throw wrapped around me for comfort...But nothing could really stop the chaos that was going on inside my mind!!It's been days since I've seen Mason,days of sitting at home on my couch mulling through it all.
But what good is it to me?
He didn't call-He didn't text-But neither did I!! I didn't want to make that first move since it's on his terms if he wants this to work.How can he expect to have me in his bed night after night, spending my days with him and him alone and not get attached.He's being selfish and he's not thinking about my feelings,just about his own!
"You look like you're in need of this."Carmen handed me a warm mug and I took it between my hands.The smell of the instant coffee awakened me a little.I haven't been sleeping well."How are you feeling?"
"As bad as I look I'm guessing."I joked,trying to make light of the situation.But Carmen knows me well-She knows when I'm putting on a front."I knew that it was going to end in disaster,but I slept with him anyway."
We all know that I did more than just sleep with Mason Knight,I was stupid enough to fall in Love with him.I thought and hoped that I could change him but in the end no one really could.
Carmen sat down on the couch next to me,placing a rectangular pom pom cushion on her lap."You could never have known that it would end like this.It was clear that he was changing,I think he just needed a little more time."
I rolled my eyes with attitude.Not at Carmen-But just at the mention of time."Time-More Time is not something that I can give him.He's either in or he's out!"
Don't cry,Jamie! Be strong!!
"You should tell him!"Carmen sighed, audibly."I know you don't want to see him,But he deserves to know. You can do this without him-But you shouldn't have to."
"I'm scared."I murmured."Mason isn't ready for something like this,he's made it quite clear that he's way too selfish to care about anyone else but himself."
"I understand what you're saying.But that's not your decision to make,Hon." Carmen pulled me closer to her, wrapping both her arms around me just like I had done for her many of times."I'm here for you,I can drive you over there if you like."
I know that it's the right decision,but sometimes the right decision is the hardest one. Seeing Mason again is going to be heart wrenching pain that I would rather avoid but I know I can't.
I was standing in the elevator of steel walls,my bare legs were shaking I was that nervous about seeing him. Damn it,Jamie!! Today of all days,you shouldn't have wore a dress. It gives him easy access and that's definitely not the way I want things to go down. This is just a talk and nothing more.
Harry answered the intercom when I rang Mason's PH apartment and Patrick at the front desk used his
special elevator key and was riding it up with me. I wondered why Harry answered and not Mason? Maybe the two of them are discussing Business or possible talking about Penelope.
"Most likely business!"I spoke out loud, instead of keeping my inside thoughts exactly where they should stay. I'm just having one of those days.
Patrick glanced in my direction."I'm sorry,Miss?"
"Nothing."I mustered a smile."I was just thinking out loud."Like a total idiot. The elevator doors opened and I stepped out and looked back at the man in his forties."Thank you,Patrick."I received a simple nod in return before the doors closed.
I turned back around with a sigh and glanced around the apartment that I've become so familiar with over these past few weeks.The dark tones I've grown to love,because those dark tones were Mason Knight himself. It was exactly how he was feeling on the inside. It's sad really.
I guess I better face the music!
The apartment was silent so I walked down the three steps and stood between the kitchen and living room."Hello!"I called out. Could the two of them be in Mason's home office?
The door opened and Harry walked down the hallway."I'm sorry,Jamie.I didn't hear the elevator. I was just grabbing some things from the office." He looked out of sorts,definitely not his usual smiling self.
"That's okay. I just came by to talk to Mason,Is he home?"I looked behind him,thinking that Mason would walk out of the office any second.
"No,He's not home!"Harry sighed, and rubbed the peppered facial stubble on his face."He's gone,Sweetheart."
He's gone-What does he mean he's gone? Like to work-An expensive bar perhaps. I had a fear inside,telling me that it was much worst than that but I really hope not!
My brows knitted together,in confusion. "He's gone-Where? I-I don't understand what you're saying."Please I beg of you,tell me that he'll be back in thirty minutes with that usual pissed off expression on his face.
"I don't know,Sweetheart. Come sit,let's talk."Harry walked towards the kitchen island and I followed behind him. I sat on the stool that he pulled out for me and he stood at the other side."Do you want something to drink?"
A drink-The least of my worries right now is staying hydrated. I shook my head."I just want to know what's going on."
He looked down at the Marble worktop. "Mason called me last night and told me that he was leaving. He only called to tell me where all the business documents were,he wanted to make sure that I could hold up the business alone."
"He didn't say where he was going?"I was trembling and my heart was pounding in my chest."I mean maybe he wanted some time alone and he's gone on holiday."
This can't be happening!!
Harry gave me a weak smile."I really wish that was the case,Sweetheart. Mason is putting the apartment up for sale and he's asked me to take care of the details. I don't know where he is."
"He could have boarded a flight by now,we could check that maybe."I was getting desperate at this point,he can't do this. He can't just be gone!!
"I've already checked that,My son has money and he knows how to use it.He doesn't want to be followed."Harry extended his arms across the counter top and took my hands in his."I um-I don't think he plans on coming back anytime soon. I'm sorry,Jamie.
I can't believe this!
He really didn't care for me at all did he, If he did then he wouldn't have left the way he did. At this point my main goal isn't to have him back and confessing his love for me-My main goal is to tell him what I came here to tell him. But I'm too late.
"I should go."I stood from the stool and walked towards the door not capable of forming the words to continue the conversation. I was in this weird place in my mind,knowing what was in store for me and knowing that I had to do it alone.
Harry followed after me towards the elevator,obviously concerned given how fast paced he was walking."Are you okay? I know that you two have become close over the past few weeks,Jamie. He should have told you."
I mustered a smile."I'm fine. I just need a couple of days,Is that okay?"He nodded his head in reply,understanding my reasons. The elevator doors opened again and I stepped inside,I turned around and looking at him. "Goodbye,Harry."
I took the elevator down with Patrick, all the while trying to hold back exactly how I was feeling on the inside. Rage,Definitely!! But most of all I just wanted to cry!!
Patrick looked across at me."Are you okay,Miss Harris?"
"Sure,I'm fine."I wiped my glistening eyes. Come on,Jamie. Pull yourself together. I'm sure you look like a total idiot!
"I know that Mr Knight has left and I'm sorry. As a man who works the front desk 6 out of 7 days a week I know the ins and outs of this building. I think you should know that he was different with you. No one ever came back a second time...But you did! That has to mean something."
"Thank you for saying that."I gave him a week smile and walked out of the elevator,through the busy lobby and out the front door of the building.
As I stepped out into the cold and the rain,I pulled up the hood of my light rain jacket and walked the streets. The rain soaked my bare legs,right down into my tan ankle boots but i didn't even care. I thought about Patrick's words.."No one ever came back a second time...But you did! That has to mean something."It doesn't,it doesn't mean anything.
I opened up to him and he just left. It definitely wasn't the reaction I was aiming for after trying to confess my Love to a man. He could be half way around the world by now.
I sat anxiously with one leg crossed over the other,my hands were fidgety and I had a little bit of a sweat on. I never usually mind places like this,but it was more the reason why I was here that was making me so nervous. It was unfamiliar ground.
It's been a couple of days since Mason left and there's been no sign of him since. I don't know if Harry is looking for him-But like he said,Mason doesn't want to be found. I need to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't want to be apart of my life.
"I have your results here,Miss Harris." The doctor rested down in his swivel chair in front of me."You are indeed pregnant,just a couple of weeks so it's still early days."
I was looking at him,nodding my head in agreement as he talked. I already knew that Mason Knight had gotten me pregnant,coming here was just to be certain.
"I recall you being on the contraceptive pill for a number of years now."He glanced down at my File in front of his desk."It looks like you didn't pick up your last prescription. This was a planned pregnancy?"
My cheeks blushed with a hint of embarrassment."No,Not planned. I was caught up with work and I just forgot to swing by to pick up my prescription. It's just me-There's no one else."
There's no Father!
The poor excuse that I gave him,I'm sure he's going to think that I'm a total idiot. It's a pill that's taken on a daily basis,I didn't even remember to pick it up. Telling my Doctor that I was doing this alone was heartbreaking.
"I'm sorry to hear that."He smiled at me lightly,trying to show his understanding but all I felt was pity."I can book you in for your 12 week scan and checkup. But for the meantime I recommend that you keep a well balanced diet and take your folic acid daily."
"Okay,Folic Acid and a well balanced diet-I can do that."I stood from the chair and hung my black bag on my shoulder.
He stood up too and walked around the table."Well Congratulations,Miss Harris. The excitement will come once the shock settles."He extended his hand out and shook mine."You have a good support system,you're going to be fine."
"Thank you,Doctor."I shook his hand, turned around and quickly left the office. I've never dashed so quick in my life. I had crossed the underground parking lot and straight to my car, resting back in my seat with a sigh.
I better get used to this-Telling people that I'm doing this alone. That's just the way it is. I'm pregnant with a Billionaire's baby and he doesn't even know.
Oh,God!! There it is again! I opened the car door in a hurry and puked onto the ground of the parking lot. I don't understand why it's called Morning sickness why it's constant. I rested back,trying to ease the nausea.
"You can do this,Jamie! You can do this without him,you can raise this baby alone."I placed my hands on my flat stomach,with so many emotions but the one that outweighed them all was the love I already had for my unborn child."IT'S JUST ME AND YOU!!"
END OF BOOK ONE
Thank you for taking the time to read "Yes,Mr Knight." The first book in the series of five books. Book Two is called "Penelope"
Edited December 2020