Sweet Like Honey

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10

I spend more time with Harrison. He's a cute kid, and I find myself drawn to him. He falls asleep next to me, as I sit beside him rigidly. After a moment, I lay his head down on the couch gingerly, standing.

This was...

Interesting? Uncomfortable?

"He's asleep," Benjamin whispers.

I turn around, nodding. "Yes."

He smiles, taking my hand. I look down at his hand over mine in confusion. Is he?

He leans down kissing me gently. What the fuck man. This is just too much.

"What are you doing?"

I step back. "This isn't going to work."

He blinks. "What? Isn't going to work?"

"Any of this. Your son. You. You're way more than I bargained for."

He takes my hand. "Then you got more than you wanted. Isn't that good?"

"No. It isn't. I don't even know you that well."

He looks down, "Then get to know me. I think you'll like me. Give it a try."

I shake my head. "No, Benjamin. I don't really think I want to."

He narrowed his eyes, and then smiled. "Okay. I understand," he stepped back. The air between us went cold.

"Well, I won't trouble you. I'll give you a ride home?"

I shake my head. "I'll catch a cab."

He scoffs. "Pretty cold, aren't you?"

I pause, sighing. "No more than I usually am," I look at my phone, calling for a Lyft.

Benjamin crosses his arms, watching me closely. His face is still, no emotion showing outwardly. I just want to leave here. Too much, right now. It's all too much.

"I keep thinking..." He says finally.

Something in his voice catches my attention. It's not superficial like he normally is.

"I just keep wondering. If you really don't remember me. Or if you're playing dumb."

Clearing my throat, I step towards the door.

"What are you talking about," I smile shakily.

"You've always been this way. You did the same thing before, remember? When you dumped Harrison on me, the night you left me."

"Now you're just spitting nonsense," I scoff, opening the door.

He shuts it. "Oh Jessie. You may not have the money you used to, but you're the same transient woman you always were. Did you think a new hair color and some contacts would fool me?"

He takes my curls between his fingers.

"Don't touch my hair," I swat him away.

He smiles. "Harrison misses his mother, Jessie. Don't you miss him? Or does he not matter to you either? You always were a cold bitch, you know that?"

Shaking my head, I back away from him. "Don't you dare pin this on me," I whisper.

He smiles. "Right. Because I made you abandon him. I made you leave him on my doorstep, in the cold, alone."

"You did!" I stop myself, smiling. Fuck this. I didn't come here for this shit.

"How Jessica? How was it my fault?"

"You screwed me over! More times than I can count! And just like right now, you blamed me for everything!

"Oh so I wasn't the best boyfriend, but you didn't have to drop off the face of the planet. You didn't have to leave the country, leave your son! You didn't have to pretend like you and I never existed!"

"I wished it never did!" I scream, "I didn't want to live that way! Under you family's thumb, constantly forced do give in to every word that you said! And you lied. You said I wouldn't find you that way again--"

"I had my faults, but Harrison was innocent."

"He was yours," I state, "I wanted nothing to do with you."

He looks wounded for a moment.

"And now?"

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know. My Lyft is here."

***

I close my eyes, putting my head against the cool window. Damn it. As soon as I saw him I should've just left.

It was a mistake. A stupid mistake.

My phone rings. I roll my eyes.

"Really?" I pick it up. "How many times do I have to say it? You're dead to me."

He sighs. "Jessica,"

"Don't," I sigh.

"Jess—"

"Are you obsessed with me or something? I said you're dead to me, Benjamin and I meant it. Don't call me again."

"You're not coming in to work then huh?"

I roll my eyes.  "Bye."

"Jessica, just hear me out. Harrison...he needs you. Just—"

"I'm not someone how you know, Benjamin. We just met by happen chance at a fundraiser, and had sex. I can't help your son."

"Dead to you huh?"

"And him? Is he nothing to you? Your child is nothing to you, Jessica?"

I close my eyes. "Bye, Benjamin."

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