Sweet Like Honey

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33

"People would always compare you to food. Like chocolate. Or caramel. But I just thought you were beautiful. And the way the sun kissed your skin...you glowed. I thought you always looked like an Angel. "

I raise my brow. "Sir, it is 2 o'clock in the morning. Shut up."

"I was just thinking," he turns over. "And do you remember when I slept in your bed whenever I came over for the night?"

I sigh. "I remember everything. Everything that's happened to me. So don't ask do I remember because I do. Now shut up."

He sighs. "What about that summer you cut your hair and your father wouldn't let you out of the house, and I snuck in to see you."

I punch him in the shoulder. "Two in the goddamn morning. Shut up! What do you need to sleep? Some melatonin? A bed time story?"

He pouts. "Sometimes you're very rude honey. Don't you realize? We did the one thing we were told we would always do. We...fulfilled our destiny. Sorta."

I scoff, then pulling him in. He looks at me confused. He always did look adorable when he was confused.

I kiss him. "What are we gonna do?" I murmured.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered.

I nod, patting his face. "Good boy," I turn over, pulling the cover over me.

He puts his arms around me. I let it slide. If I say anything he'll start talking again I don't have time for it.

• • •

"Momma," I frown.

"Momma wake up. It's time to go to meet the queen."

I sigh. "We're not meeting the queen. And we're not going until next week."

He sighs, falling over my lap dramatically. I smile down at him.

"But I wanna go now!" He whined.

I brush his hair back. "Be patient. The week will fly by and soon you'll be in the UK, and you'll be miserable."

"I'll be miserable?"

"Do you like...tea and rain and being very polite?"

He shakes his head no.

"Then yes, you'll be miserable. But! You'll be able to tell all your friends you went to another continent!"

He cheers, running to his room. Benjamin has a lot of work before he can take off for the UK. Or so he says.

Like I don't know him. It's killing him. He's finally achieved his destiny—marrying me—and not a damn thing's changed.

It's eating him. That's why he's staying at work, or where ever the hell he is.

He always had an obsession about fate and destiny. Maybe because his seemed pre-ordained. We weren't given choices, we were given fates, and he's obsessed with it.

He keeps his eyes trained on the invisible line he's supposed to follow. When his feet step outside the boundaries of his path, he spirals.

We are well of the beaten path.

And he is spiraling. I wonder...if mother is thinking about me? Is she relived? That he's gone? Or did she think she loved him?

Does she want to see me?

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Benjamin enters the house quietly. I didn't expect him. I stand, cocking my head.

He keeps his eyes on me. "Lets have our wedding night tonight,"

I blink. "What entails our wedding night?"

He sighed. "What we planned. Let's do what we planned."

And there he goes. Off to the past, where he cowers like the child he still is.

"We planned to both be virgins," I smirk. "We planned to have a manor in the hills. We planned to have our first child at 20. We planned to be in love. None of those plans came true."

He clenched his jaw. "Why do you do this?"

"Why do you cling to the past like a child to a blanket? Wake up! This isn't your destiny! Or your fantasy! This isn't what we planned or dreamed, or hoped but it is real! More real than this...this...dream world you keep referring to!"

He sighs sadly. "What do you want? What do I say? What do I do?" He asked me.

I blink. "Accept the situation. We fell out of love. We are never getting back together and this marriage is a temporary sham. The sooner you accept reality, Benjamin, the less it'll hurt. Look at you. Stabbing yourself with the shards of a dream that died over a decade ago."

He swallowed. "If I admit...that everything I've every hoped or dreamed or worked for was for nothing, Jessica, what purpose did my life serve?"

I pause.

"Don't you see? This is all I ever had. If I don't have this, if I don't have you. What am I doing? What did I go to school for? Why did I go I to business why didn't I date or go to parties why did I—"

He swallows. "Why did I exist? My whole life has been about making a family with you, and doing whatever it took to be successful so that we could be happy. I hate this job. I hate wearing suits all day, I haven't slept in years and I—"

He stops talking, going into the kitchen. I frown following.

He grabs some alcohol and a glass before pausing and just taking the bottle. He opens it, chugging it.

"Woah!"

He chuckles. "I'm worthless. Without you I'm worthless."

I look away.

He sits down, and doesn't say anything else. I sit beside him but I don't say anything either.

I gave up a long time ago. But he's right. Him and I...were were never viewed as individuals. We were half of a whole. On our own, we were nothing. But together, we were everything our parents wanted.

Maybe the difference between us is...I chose him. I wanted him. I chose that path, and his feet were just stuck on it.

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