Sweet Like Honey

All Rights Reserved ©

41

The next morning...

I drop Henry off at school. I take the trip over to Benjamin's. He should be home.

I knock on the door.

He opens it. "This is a surprise. Come in. Are you alright?"

I smile.

He frowns.

"Yes." I state.

He frowns deeper. "Are you sure."

I say nothing, remembering what I came here to say.

"I was thinking about what you said. And...I agree."

He whips around. "With me?"

I laugh. "Yeah. Listen...I want to try. I forgive you. I...should've a long time ago, and that was my fault y'know? But I think working on a relationship is a great idea."

He steps toward me. I fortify myself. Don't react.

He puts his hand to my forehead. "Are you...sure you're not coming down with something? You don't have a fever."

I chuckle, waving him away.

His brows knit.

"No, no," I step back. "I guess I just realized I want to be happy. With you. And I was...holding myself back. So I want to try. For us and Henry."

I keep the smile on my face.

I bought new foundation.  And I haven't eaten breakfast.

"Well," he says lowly, "I'm glad you feel that way," he keeps frowning. "I just...didn't expect this. Especially so soon—"

"Yeah. I know. I'm just...I can be such an eyesore y'know," I chuckle.

"Huh? An eyesore, why would you say that?"

I blink. "So what time do you leave for work? Around 8 right?"

He takes my hand, looking over me. "Yeah. Come sit with me. Are you hungry?"

"Oh I had breakfast," I smile.

"You're smiling a lot," he notes.

"I'm...trying to be happier. Y'know? Like manifesting. If I smile my day will go better I saw that online," my eyes dart around.

My stomach grumbles.

"Sure I cant get you something? An apple at least?"

"Oh no. I just had a very heavy breakfast—"

"I've never seen you eat breakfast in my life Jessica," he states, "To this day. You never eat more than a bite."

I swallow. "Well I had a late night so I was hungry this morning."

He nods. "Okay."

I sigh. Tightening my grip on his hand. "So..." I smile. "What next?"

His eyes narrow a little. "Well. You know I think...maybe you should take a break. You've been dealing with so much—"

"I'm fine," I smile. "Thank you for asking. I'm glad we had this moment. Now, I have to get to work soon but I just...wanted to share the good news."

"Are you okay, honey?" He asks again.

"I just told you I'm fine? Do I look bad? I just bought a new foundation. I'm sorry—"

His eyes widen. "Honey?"

Shit. I stand. I feel a little dizzy but nothing I'm not used to.

He pulls my back down, bumping his nose with mine.

I nod. "I said I'm fine, Benji. I've gotta get to work," I pause, kissing him. "Have a good day."

I leave. I did it. I did good. I did good. I smile. Yes.

Not always. I'm not always an eyesore. I drive home.

• • •

I clean up before Henry gets home, I do some work. I text Benjamin and set a date night.

I'm doing well.

It's lunch time.

I keep moving. I just don't have time right now. I need to keep going. So many things to do. I look in my closet.

All of my dresses seem...

Mh. Well. Maybe a black one. Slimming. Yes. Was that always there? That...it's fine. It's fine. I look in the mirror, turning around. Why am I so...I fit this before I left.

I sigh. It's fine.

I smile. Yes. If I smile, I'll be happy. Like before. Just smile. Never mind it. Everything can't be perfect.

My god I feel so small.

It's alright. I run out of things to do eventually. I don't think I should've went to the UK. I know that things...issues about me...problems I have from my father come through all the time.

He didn't love me and that fucked me up. But if I smile than I'll be f—

Benjamin loves me. And Henry loves me. As long as I just...keep going. It'll be okay. It's always fine. I will be fine.

I stand. My head hurts a little.

Someone knocks at the door. Who else but Benji even knows I exist?

I open it and smile. "Hey!"

He smiles. "I brought lunch. I have an hour. Let's eat together?"

I grin. "I would love to! Oh but I just ate, so just eat in front of me, and talk okay?"

He goes into the kitchen. "What did you eat? You barely eat put, and I don't see any dishes. I don't smell any food."

"Oh, I heated up some leftovers. Never mind me, Benji, sit. How's your day been?"

He observes me. "Eat something, Jessica."

"I just told you—"

"In front of me."

I pause and smile, looking down at the burger. My stomach turns.

"Okay. If you insist. But if I become an eyesore it's your fault," I chuckle, biting into it.

He smiles. "Thank you."

I keep chewing.

"You're not eating," he says.

"It's in my mouth,"

"You haven't swallowed any food. Eat. Please."

I swallow the food in mouth. I finish the burger and we talk. Eventually he has to go back to work. I walk him out.

It must have been too greasy, because I had to throw it all up.

But I feel better afterwards. I brush my teeth. Henry will be home soon. I should make him something to eat.

I step back out of the bathroom. Benjamin stands there.

I smile. "I told I didn't feel well."

"No. You told me you already ate."

I smile. I wish he would smile.

"Yeah. I ate too much silly. I'll eat dinner. I promise."

He kisses my head. "I'll come back to check on you tonight, Honey. You stay safe alright?"

I nod.

He leaves. I watch him go. I realize I didn't flush the toilet. How disgusting. I go back in the bathroom. I look at the vomit in the toilet. I flush it away.

"What an eyesore."

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.