Thursday December 11, 2014
"Big brother, Daddy wants to know if your feeling well enough to go to school today?" I shake my head, I wasn't going to school today, no matter what. Easton leaves and I hear him calling to my father. I am such a coward for skipping, but I simply couldn't stand the fact that Ames and Nathan would probably ignore me as well. Hell, the simple though of Nathan ignoring me made the area under his mark ache, he had captured my affection so easily...really without trying.
"Hayden?" I opened my eyes at the sound of that female voice just outside of my bedroom. "Hayden, honey are you okay?" I turned farther to my side so she couldn't see the tears streaming down my face, though I knew she could hear my small muffled sobs. Mothers heels clack against the hard wood flooring of my bedroom.
"What are you doing here?" My voice is cold, I can hear the shuffling of her shoes against my floor. "Just go back to your study and ignore my existence like every other day. What makes this time any different." I feel a hand on my head, running its long money fingers through my hair. It was meant to be a comforting gesture but it just pissed me off even more. "Stop touching me, you don't know me!" Her hand freezes on my head, I turn my head after wiping the tears away and look at her.
"Hayden, what has gotten into you?" She sits down on an area of my bed that I wasn't currently occupying. I move away from her and the look in her eyes is one of bewilderment almost like she's watching me do something horrible, like drugs. "Are you having girl troubles?" I let out a small laugh and roll over covering my eyes. "Or perhaps it's not troubles your having. " my eyes widen and I look to her. "Ah so is there a boy in your life or maybe one you like?" I looked around confused. People whom I talked to for about a week hadn't realized I was gay but a women whom I had barely known or spoken too knew it. "I'm your mother Hayden, I know these things. So who is it you like or you're with?" I don't answer for awhile and soon she gets up turning to leave.
"Nathan-" I mutter his name and she stops, turning around, perhaps she hadn't expected me to answer. "Nathan Davis." I knew that my parents line of work was shared with Nathan's, maybe they knew each other. She moved to a bean bag chair that I kept in the corner of my room and sat there with wide eyes.
"I would never have guessed that Caroline's son was gay...he's seems so masculine." Her breath was short.
"He's bi-sexual, he likes both men and women." She parts her once closed lips in shock "don't go around repeating that either, I don't know how many people are aware of that." My warning had been loud and clear.
"So are you two together?" I shrug, I wasn't sure. Unconsciously I placed my hand over Nathan 'love bite' and sighed. "Are you two...um... Sexually active with one another." I looked her with eyes as wide as saucers.
"Mother...hell no." Her cheeks were tinted pink, it was so strange seeing her like this...it is strange seeing her period. "So." I say after a moment and she sits there twiddling her thumbs nervously. "Why have you come out of your study today?" She looks at me, her dark hair making her look far too pale.
"I wasn't feeling well and actually got sick, I was on my way out of the bathroom when I heard you crying." Mother has never gotten so much as a cold except when she was.... pregnant ...with Easton. Oh dear god no.
"Oh mother, please tell me your not pregnant!" She just seems to sit there for a moment, shaking her head. "Mother it took a drunken night after a Christmas party to make Easton. Is it possible your pregnant?" If she was pregnant that means I would be raising another one.
"No Hayden I'm not pregnant." She says and stands. "I need to get back to work now, see you later." With that she leaves and while I feel better I still feel like shit. I roll over and close my eyes...a nap would do me some good. I don't even realize I have fallen asleep until I'm waking up. I roll over, fixing the glasses that I had neglected to take off and see that the clock read three in the afternoon. I jump out of bed, fixing my twisted clothing and jumping into my tennis shoes. I take off down the road...noticing the droplets of water that were falling....noticing I had forgotten my jacket and was in a short sleeved shirt.
The cold air nips at my arms and I can see my breath in front of me as I run...it was getting harder to breath....the rain was coming I could feel it. I however can't bring myself to complain, not until Easton is with me, his is first priority. I continue jogging even after it starts to down pour and I am soaked from head to toe. My Asthma was going to start reacting and before that happened I needed to catch my breath as my as possible. I stop, looking up as I breathing in and out, my lungs were burning. My tears were falling again...from the pain in my legs and the pain in my heart. I hear a car coming up slowly behind me and look over to see the black car rolling its tinted-ish windows down.
"Although I like the sight of you soaking wet in front of me, you should get in the car before you get sick." I nodded opening the door. I get in and point towards the elementary, too out of breath to really use my words. Once my breath returns I direct him properly. When we arrive and Easton sees me his face lights up.
"Hey little mini Hayden:" Nathan says in a pleasant tone as Easton buckles up in the back seat.
"My name is Easton and yours is Nathan." He says and I laugh. Nathan laughs as well and Easton just gives us confused stares for the most part. Their small conversations went on and on until Easton asked a question I wouldn't have even thought of him asking. "Are you the person who made big brother cry...he was really sad yesterday and this morning?" I could feel Nathan's eyes on me, he is confused.
"I wasn't in town yesterday, it was surprising to not see him in school today, Ames was disappointed." He says as he pulls up in front of my house. I go to get out but Nathan grabs my wrist. I look back at Easton and he just looks from Nathan to me. "Easton, could you go wait for your brother by the front door, I need to speak to him...in private." Easton nodded and hopped out of the car, closing his door and walking towards the porch. I watch as the door opens and my mother looks out at me smiling and let's Easton into the house. "Why did he say you were crying yesterday?" I sigh and go to open the door but he pulls me closer.
"Look it was just a bad day." I say and he turns me towards him, his hand going up my shirt, skimming the still sensitive skin of his mark.
"Don't lie to me, if somebody hurt you physically or otherwise I will have something done about it." I shook my head and glance up at the now closed front door. "You're mi-"
"Shut up!" I yell at him and he looks at me stunned. "Why do you bother saying such things when you and I both know you don't mean them!" He grabs me by the arms and pulls me into a hug. The tears fall unchecked onto his shirt. "Please just stop, I can't take this anymore." I felt like such a baby but he just kept me pressed against his chest, in his embrace. I punch, hitting him in the stomach but it doesn't seem to faze him.
"Hayden stop, I need to have you explain what the hell you're talking about." My head falls to his shoulder, my glasses were filthy with my tears. I'm so tired of crying, crying never resolved anything only made things worse.
"You're all lying. None of you like me, especially you." His arms loosened and he moved away, looking at me with a tender stare. He cupped my cheeks and wipes away my tears.
"I wouldn't have agreed to protect you if I didn't like you Hayden." I shake my head and try to get away. This was all just some cruel joke.
"I don't believe you! You never react to our kisses but I do a...and I don't even understand why at all." I tried to hide my face, it was embarrassing for him to see me this way. He rested his Chen on my head and I calm, this small space is comforting especially the arms that were holding me there.
"Hayden trust me, I react too, in various ways. You just don't think that I do. I react every time we touch and you just don't see it." I shake my head, he is making it up. I try to move away but he tightens his grip on my arms. "Hayden, cooperate with me here, don't fight me." He says and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, I can feel him moving my hand. I felt a warm surface caress my finger tips and spread up my palm. I open my eyes to see that he is making me touch his face. "I'm blushing, but my skin tone masks it. Every time I see you my face feels like this but only Ames can tell when I'm blushing." I blink away a few tears away as he moves my hand downwards. "This is my reaction every single time we kiss." His jeans had a hard bulge in them. I look up at him with a flushed face as he lets go of my hand, cupping my flushing cheeks with both of his. His light pink lips spread into a smile before they are closing in on mine. I submit to him, my body quickly being pressed against the passenger side door. He was between my legs, it was a rather odd position one that brought bad images running to my head. I let off a small whimper as his lips move downwards. Nathan, don't let go...I need this...I need you.