Thursday December 4th
I walk briskly towards the office, I want to talk to the counsellor about what happened between Nathan and I yesterday, after all, I generally don't go around blurting out my sexual preference to my bullies. Was I truly angry over how stupid he was being? Maybe it was about the way he thought I thought about Ames that set me off? I go up to the office ladies desk and ask to see the counselor, they tell me he is out so I decide to wait, I wasn't going to concentrate well in class with this boggling my mind. Finally ten minutes later he comes back, surprised to see me there, but I can also see the happiness in his eyes that I have returned and so quickly. He probably thinks I'm going to come out with the full truth about what happened the day before last in the cafeteria. Then again he could just be amused to see the white tape across my nose. I shake that thought out of my head and follow him into his office, once invited in of course.
"While your here Mr. Grey, I think I will have you fill out some ACT forms. Is that okay?" I nod and he stands from the chair he was sitting in and across the room to a few paper trays, grabbing a packet from each. "Okay, here, and we can discuss those later, but I'm guessing that the ACT packets aren't why your here, so spill." I smile at his hasty pace of conversation, he is really an odd guy.
"No, I came here to talk about what happened the other day in the cafeteria." A spark of surprise appeared in his light blue, demi-God like eyes. I look down feeling a slight flush grace my face, this man is no doubt beautiful, but I couldn't think of him like that he is my counselor...he is like five years older than me. He comes over to the leather couch and sits down next to me. His arm goes around the back of the couch, behind me.
"Tell me what's on your mind, Hayden" I could feel my face lighting up in a flush and turn away. He smiles, I don't see it, but I can feel it. I sigh and scooch away so he isn't invading my personal bubble.
"Well that Nathan really didn't do anything to me on that day, it was Jake, Nathan has left me well enough alone since his sister and I started to hang out. He confronted me yesterday in the bathroom about not breaking his sister's heart or being more than friends. Basically he just accused me of wanting to get what I 'want' from her and leave her behind. He just doesn't seem to understand anything." I huff crossing my arms like a child, I had no idea I was still frustrated over this. Seriously though it was such a blow to my pride to have somebody think I was that shallow...and straight. I believe in being who I am so I'm pretty sure I'm very open about being gay.
"Is that your intent with the lady or do you intend to be a gentleman to her?" I look to him glaring until I see the remnants of what looks like sadness in his eyes. I sigh and put my face in my hands. "Is it really your intention only to sleep with the girl, Hayden I thought you were a better man than that?"
"You're not understanding anything! I'm not with her at all, I don't like girls, I'm very much into men, and I accidentally told her brother that yesterday, now I don't know what he is going to do with his new information!" His eyes were wide as he put his hand on my back, rubbing it comforting. I look over at him, he had a look of understanding on his face, a feeling that filled his eyes. He at that moment must have decided fuck the rules and wrapped his arms around me. His chin was placed on top of my head and I closed my eyes, his warmth is nice, but very intrusive to my personal space.
"I understand everything now. Hayden-" He moves away from me and I move away from him, I want my personal space back. " I also struggle with what people think of my sexual preference, but I'm not afraid to be who I am."
"You're gay?" I exclaimed and then covered my mouth when I saw his bland expression.
"Na, I'm Asexual." He says and the sarcasm in his voice made me chuckle. "Of course I'm gay, here you are basically fuming because I couldn't tell that you preferred men and here you are making the same mistake." I felt a little hypocritical but before I could say anything we were both laughing because of idiotic mistakes. "So now that we have had our little pow wow, I would like to give you some advice." I sober up from my laughter and look at him seriously."Don't let the people who use your sexual preference against you Hayden." He puts his hand on my shoulder and rubs at my shoulder. "Just remember that you were made the way you are for a reason and that your perfect the way you are."
I sat in his office for the next two class periods, talking and just randomly chatting about his high school experiences and the lessons he learned from his mistakes at my age. Once lunch rolls around we have finished filling out my ACT forms and I'm excused to go to lunch, where I see Ames and Nathan sitting at the table with the girls. I walk over and take my seat next to Ames and across from Nathan, who looks away from me as my eyes meet his. His eyes are dark, unreadable, clouded over with whatever emotion is swirling around in his body at this moment. I look to Ames and smile at her.
"Where have you been all morning, Hayden? I waited at your locker for you after second hour but you didn't show up like usual." My ears prick at the sound of her voice as I get my salad out of my lunch box. I gesture for her to give me a moment and Nathan looks up raising and eye brow at me as I pull out a packet of French dressing.
"I was in the counselors office. You remember, the cute one that pulled me aside when we were in the vice principals?" Her eyes light up and I see Nathan visibly flinch when I call th we counsellor cute. He is probably just disgusted that he has to be nice to sit by me and worries about me probably hitting on him...just because I'm gay that doesn't mean I flirt with every guy I come in contact with, especially ones that beat the absolute shit out of me! I sigh and Ames gives me a perverse look and raises an eyebrow at me. "Now, now Hayden do tell, if you were in his office for so long what did you two do, you know besides talk that is?"
"Amelia!" It takes a moment for me to register that it was Nathan's voice that had spoken her full name. He was glaring at her. Geez you say worse than her and here you are yelling at her so she won't continue no matter how vulgar that conversation may have gotten. She smirks, a satisfied look crossing her face as she sits back in her chair, crossing her arms.
"I see." she mutters looking to her brother and I chuckle, she had done it on purpose to see his reaction, oh Ames. I look over at Nathan who's eyes are smouldering with anger, anger directed at his baby sister. He was pale and didn't look like he felt all that well. Is he sick or something, maybe he is sickened by who I am...let's not think about that shall we. I feel my face flush with embarrassment.
"Ames you have the wrong idea! We talked and filled out ACT things for my ACTs. We didn't do anything that would classify as unprofessional-I mean he did give me a hug-we-um-I'm still a virgin of everything I swear!" the girls spit their drinks and Nathan and Ames' jaws drop open while I sit frozen, my hands in mid air. Why the hell did I just say that? Nathan closed his mouth and a smirk peels across his face.
" This is where I leave you all." He says and stands, leaving before I've even tried to get another word out. oh shit.