Nerdy or Nice

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Chapter 6

December 6th 2014

I can feel him standing there, behind me, he wants me. I stand there unable to open my eyes, but I can feel him getting closer to me. I feel his arms come around me tenderly, he's warm. His breath on my neck sends shudders down my spine and I know he can feel me trembling. His hands grab at my arms and unexpectedly they are smooth, soft, by now he is embracing me tightly. I look up, I want him to kiss me, he should be perfect at it. I open my eyes and see the familiar strong jaw line and light pink lips. Nathan is perfect at everything.

I jolt awake, shaking, it takes me a moment for the fog to leave my mind and my dream to come back. I felt disgusted with myself. I would have understood if I had looked up and seen the counselor, but no, I saw Nathan and thought that ,him, of all people , was perfect. I sit up, unable to fathom the thought of my dream, I don't even like Nathan. He is cruel and has made it clear that he despises me even more since he found out my se I am preference. I get out of bed and decide to make breakfast for Easton before waking him up. Once ready I'm sitting Easton up on the breakfast bar, handing him the chocolate chip smiley face pancakes that I made him. I sit down next to him and smile as I watch him enjoying his breakfast. I start eating after a moment and finish before him, grabbing him a glass of Orange juice. Once he finished I helped him off the bar stool and send him to the living room to watch cartoons as I go get a shower. My dream was still captivating my mind and that was making my body react in a way I didn't necessarily like. Why did it have to be Nathan's face I saw? I guess it was just some unrealistic fantasy that my kind and hormones cooked up. I sigh and turn the water to cold , Easton is lucky to be young and not deal with all of this emotional distress. I step into the shower and gasp as the freezing sensation sends me into momentary shock. It's not ten minutes later that I'm stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel off of the rack and wrap it around my body. I dry off and walk back towards my room, passing by the locked door to my mother's study. I could hear the clicking of computer keys as I pass and shake my head, they will never change. I grab my clothing and get dressed before going back to the bathroom to brush my hair. Easton is walking in just as I am leaving and I smile down at him.

"Can we get the tree out and decorate it, big brother?" My smile widens and I place my hand on his head. He looks so much like me, a little version of myself, without the glasses. I pick him up and continue on towards the living room.

"Of course we can but let's do it after lunch okay?" I say and he nods as i sit him down on the couch. I turn the TV back on and grab a blanket, quickly lighting the fire place. "For now let's just relax and watch a cartoon or movie." I sit down next to him and wrap us both in a blanket.

After a couple of hours Easton asks about putting up the tree again and decorating it, I say okay. I go to make lunch before going to make us some sandwiches. I finish and quickly run up to the attic to get the tree out. It was heavy and bringing it down the stairs was so much easier than it would be to put it back up later. I run back up the stairs once I've got the tree down and get out the bins of ornaments , tinsel, garland, and two bins of lights. it take me three trips up and down both sets of stairs before I have it all down stairs. I grab a glass of milk and down it quickly before putting the tree together. Easton looks at the bins with excitement and I can't help the smile that spreads across my lips,he is easy to pleas unlike certain two people who never leave their office. I can't even remember the last time those two had dinner with us at the table. I shake the thoughts off , they would destroy me otherwise. Easton and I start with the lights, helping each other wind them around the tree, same thing for the tensile. The ornaments were the fun part, Easton went a little crazy but I made sure everything was balanced out. I just had everything placed correctly when Easton noticed an old ornament wrapped in news paper in the bottom of the bin, it was glass but it had a picture of Mother, Father, and I, I had to be around Easton age in that picture.

"Hey big brother, why am I not in this picture?" I took the ornament and looked at him with a small smile.

"You weren't born yet, silly, I was your age when this was taken." He cocoa his head to the side in confusion as I walk over and sit the ornament on the counter.

"Why haven't we taken another family picture?" How blessed he was to be so young and oblivious to the big picture, we would never be more important than mother and fathers work, at least not to them that is. It was that way even when that picture was taken.

Mommy and Daddy made me get all dressed up, but for what, I am waiting for lunch still. Mommy has kept herself locked in her study and daddy was standing in front of his computer, hitting the keys. Mommy and daddy never stop working. Mommy comes out of her office and shuffles us out of the house and into the car. I watch mommy and daddy in the front seats as daddy drove and mommy was on her phone, taking to people. she sounded kind of mad. When the car stopped we were at this building and mommy just undid my car seat and carried me in. Before I knew it we were standing together, smiling, as if it was something natural, like we did it everyday. The Moment was however short lived.

I stared at the picture with distaste. The people staring back at me wasn't my true my family. I simply want to light it on fire and watch the lie die with it. If a stranger were to see this picture they would probably believe that our family was always like that, but that's the lie, last time I really saw my parents was at least a month ago. This picture just infuriated me.


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