I paced back and forth until a knock sounded on my door. I opened it and let Kayleigh inside, closing it behind her. She sat on my bed and looked at me. “Well, you promised you would tell me.”
“This boy at school made a really rude comment. When you dressed me up as your doll, he noticed. Without my baggy hoodie on, my skinny jeans and black shirt fit my body, and with makeup, somehow it made him notice. He told me that I would make a lot of money for what I offer on a playboy magazine.” I stomped my foot in frustration.
Kayleigh chuckled. “So he told you your body looks good. What’s the problem?”
“I do not want to be admired for my body. I want to be admired for my brain. I want my brain to make money, not my body. Is that hard to ask for? Is it so wrong that a high school senior doesn’t want to be...a model?” I gestured.
“Well, I mean, it is your body. You are allowed to do with it what you will. Which guy said this? Was it Ezra?” She leaned her chin on her fist held up by her elbow.
She smiled as if she was daydreaming about him. “Ezra works for Playboy. He’s mainly known for his status at school because he has a lot of money. He’s pretty good with the women, or that’s what they say.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me you have a crush on this guy.”
Kayleigh laughed and winked at me. “What can I say? He’s a good looking man.”
I said, “He’s hardly a man.”
“His body is very...wonderful. He could be on the magazines himself! He could be on the girl alternative to Playboy. He could be on Playgirl.” She wiggled her finger at me.
“I’ll believe he’s a man when I see a beard.” I smirked and sat next to her, leaning back on my arms. “Without facial hair, he’s just another boy who’s too into himself.”
Kayleigh giggled. “He’s into women more than he is himself.”
“You would give yourself to him the second you could, wouldn’t you?” I crossed my arms.
Kayleigh looked anywhere else but at me. “Well, maybe. Ezra is really attractive.”
I let out a sigh. “It’s more than just looks. It’s about personality and values and traits. These are things I want to be liked for and that is why I refuse to let looks settle the deal.”
Kayleigh shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just saying, Amelia. You asked, and I answered honestly. I’m just jealous he asked you and not me.”
“Next time, I’ll recommend he ask you instead.”
Kayleigh laid back on my bed. “Can I stay here tonight? My parents are fighting again.”
I laid next to her and stroked her hair to calm her nerves a bit. “Of course, you’re always welcome.”
Kayleigh turned her head towards me. “I’m scared, Amelia. I’m scared because I don’t want to see the two people I love the most split up. I’ve watched them my whole childhood. Maybe I did say gross one too many times when they kissed but I always admired their love. Is this the end of the road?”
I grabbed her hand and held it close to me. “No, no. What they had will never go away, even if they split up. I can’t tell you it’s going to be okay because I don’t know their decisions. But I have a strong feeling that if their love is true, they will fight through this and make it work. Marriage is work.”
“How can their love teach me about love if their love leads to divorce? I don’t want that. I want to be a happy family. I want to go on family trips and laugh again. I want to be in the same room with both of them and not wonder if they’re going to fight.” Her eyes shifted to watch the ceiling.
“I know, Kay, I know.” I put my head against hers. “I’m here for you and I will support you every step of the way. I promise.”
“For a girl who can be so cruel, you’re also the best friend I’ve never had.” She smiled a bit.
I laughed. “You have a best friend, and I am her. Let’s have some fun tonight. We will do what best friends do.”
I looked at the time, reading 2:06 AM. I rolled over, facing Kayleigh and screamed when I noticed her watching me.
She threw a pillow at me, laughing as quietly as she could manage. “You need to keep your mouth shut. You are so annoying.”
“I don’t expect you to be awake at two in the morning, watching me sleep!” I yelled at her in a whisper.
She brought her face closer to mine as she said in a deep voice, “I’m Edward Cullen. You have discovered my big secret.”
We both laughed into the black void that surrounded us. I had my curtains closed most of the time. I did not like the sunshine. That must have made me Bella Thorne. Wait, was she an actress? What was Bella’s last name?
Pushing away the thought, I laid back on my pillow. “Well, now that we are awake...”
Kayleigh laid her head on my shoulder. “We can talk about Ezra’s latest toy.”
“You admit he has toys.” I pressed my cheek against her hair.
“He works for the Playboy Mansion. Of course he has toys. I just wish I was one of them.” Kayleigh chuckled against my shoulder.
I rubbed my stomach and yawned. “Alright, what about his latest toy?”
“I heard she’s a slut,” Kayleigh said.
I choked on a laugh. “You’re one to talk.”
“Hey, I can say that because I am one. Blondes can make fun of blondes. Siblings can make fun of each other. Insiders have that power. Outsiders do not.” She looked at me with a smile on her face.
“What else about her is there?” I asked.
Kayleigh shrugged a bit. “Rumor has it that she goes to our school and Ezra ghosted her when she tried to call back.”
“Is she surprised? He is a playboy.”
She turned to face the ceiling. “Of course not, but any woman would want to be with Ezra for more than one night. I will admit that if I got in his pants, I would be asking for more. He’s just that good.”
I scoffed. “I see. He gives women a taste of what he has to offer and then watches them beg for more. He’s such a pig.”
“Pigs are cute. People still eat pigs right up, too.”
I would have spit out my water if I was drinking some. “Kayleigh, whoa!” I laughed into my pillow, having a hard time controlling myself.
“Come on, why don’t we change the subject?” She nudged me.
“Yes, let’s change the subject to someone much more worth giving our time to. How’s Heather?”
“Heather? Don’t get me started. She’s begging mom for money again. She always gets her way. It’s ridiculous. She’s gonna be the favorite until the day we die.” Kayleigh closed her eyes and stayed silent for several minutes.
I didn’t ask any more questions but rather I stared at the ceiling. It was nearly impossible to see any of the texture on it with his black this room was.
“Do you think we’ll have kids together?” I asked in a small voice.
Kayleigh said, “That would be hard considering we’re both women.”
I laughed. “No, I mean, do you think we will have kids at the same time? Will our kids be friends?”
“I like to think they will be...” Kayleigh trailed off as she fell into a deep sleep.
I pulled the blanket over both of us some more before facing my wall. The silence was peaceful and much needed. The lack of sound was just what I needed to keep my unstable brain at a stable level.
The crickets were nonstop with their chirping or whatever it was that they did. They sounded just like Ana from biology class. Ana was the cricket and we were the innocent humans who just wanted peace and quiet. She never shut up about how cool it was to cut up a frozen squid. That squid was by far the most entertainment we’ve had but Ana made it somehow boring.
I was not looking forward to going back to school tomorrow. If Ezra bothered me, I’d sock him one. I wasn’t sure if that was the proper phrase but I was going with it.
He made me mad to no end.
There was one thing I was certain of. Ezra was an ass and I was not going to fall for his excuses. I was no model and I was going to stick to my path.
Guys like Ezra were very cocky and arrogant. I was stubborn and short-tempered. It was a bad recipe for employment.
“Go to sleep, you damn vampire,” Kayleigh mumbled.
I laughed in a quieter volume. “That’s what you turned me into, remember? I had your baby and you turned me into a vampire.”
Kayleigh didn’t respond to that. I knew I needed some sleep but I was struck by the insomnia bug. I turned on my side, putting earbuds in my ears and plugging the audio jack into the port of my phone. I turned on some youtube videos with nothing else to waste my time. YouTube was endless with videos and it was addictive.
I had a couple of laughs at some wonderful commentary videos. The commentary videos on movies were my favorite. It was a wonderful feeling to know I was going to live longer due to youtube videos and Kayleigh.
My arteries would widen every time I chuckled and they would get more narrow when my stress levels would rise.
I had to spend a lot more time around Kayleigh and avoid Ezra if I wanted to continue to live. He could literally kill me and I would have to come back from the dead to haunt him.
I was nothing special. I would be back in the corner tomorrow with my hood on to mask me from the world. Nobody would remember I existed. Ezra would never find me again. My hood camouflaged me into the depths of the school hallways.
I would be much happier when nobody saw me. It was a scientific fact that I was invisible with my hoodie.
I was going to be much more careful around Kayleigh so I never had to owe her more favors. I refused to become her doll again. That was torture.
Every pair of eyes had watched me. Every voice had whispered about me. Everyone’s attention was focused on me and that was very much a sin.
I needed to go to church now to cleanse myself from the attention of teenage hormones.
Glancing at the clock, I groaned. It was already 3:47 AM. How long had my thoughts been rambling on about attention and Ezra? Too long to say for sure, but I was not paying attention to the videos on my phone and I could confirm that.
I was not going to let a silly boy cloud my mind. I had better things to do than that.
I closed my eyes, dreaming of a world where school didn’t exist and I was free to do what I wanted. Money wasn’t used. I could drive and spend all my time doing what I wished to do.
That was something I looked forward to. Whose bright idea was it to create money? Why was someone going to restrict us like such? Did they not know they were making lives worse? People couldn’t afford homes or food. Something that should’ve been given to those we should take care of was being sold for profit.
There had to be a better way to deal with this system. I didn’t want to pay for another bag of chips ever again.