The Playboy is My Soulmate

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I stepped back, eyeing my plans. “This has to work. If it doesn’t, Ezra will never let me live this down.” I looked at Kayleigh.

Kayleigh crossed her arms, shrugging all at once. “I think it should. Although, I don’t know why you want to do this to Ezra.”

“We’ve been over this. I’m doing this to get back at him for what he did. If he wants to believe I’m on my period because I’m having a shit mood, I’ll give him a bloody tampon. It’s not actually my blood. It’s just fake blood but that’s the beauty of it. He doesn’t know it’s fake. I’ll correct his wrong with my wrong. What better way to fight back than with the topic that started this all?” I looked over at her.

The sealed envelope had Ezra’s name on it while the fake bloodied tampon waited inside. I would slip this into his bag and he would learn to never mess with me and my period again. If he wanted to make period jokes, I had a right to make them in return.

“Alright, are you ready to do this?” I smirked at Kayleigh. She peeked out of the girl’s bathroom door and looked back at me, giving me the thumbs up. It was time to put this plan into action.

I pushed the envelope into my hoodie pocket and left the bathroom with Kayleigh. Three... Two... One...

“Mel!” Ezra yelled. He came running down the hall before stopping by us. “Hey, hello.” He waved with a smile on his face and teeth showing. They were so white.

“Ezra, what is it that you want from us? Are you always going to stalk me at school like this? I can find you a new hobby. There’s just this thing that says stalking is very wrong and illegal. Also, girls happen to hate it unless they enjoy that, in which case they would not be right in the head.” I twirled my finger in the air.

He laughed as he shook his head. “Mel, you are so cute. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

I nodded at Kayleigh and she moved in his path. “Hi! What is it about Amelia that intrigues you? Am I pretty? Would I be a good model for your magazine?”

As he gave her looks, I slipped behind him, dropping the envelope into his unzipped bag. It was perfect because Ezra never zipped up his backpack. Who expected him to?

“That’s nice of you to offer but we have currently closed to new applications at this time.” He smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that was a big, fat lie.

Kayleigh frowned and nodded. “Alright, I understand. But when they reopen, I should be the first to know,” she said with a new smile.

Ezra gave her a nod and looked at her once more. “I promise I will let you know.” Another lie.

“Well, Ezra, we’ll have to see you at lunch.” I smiled and waved my fingers at him, walking away. He was in for a surprise. Kayleigh followed me down the hall. “I can’t wait to hear how it goes. This is going to be so funny. I hope he doesn’t hate you.”

I laughed at that. “Relax, he won’t hate me. At least when he finds out the blood is fake, which is when I tell him that.” I turned to face her with a smirk on my lips. “After he thinks it’s real, of course.”

We heard some shouting from afar. My attention focused on Ezra and the dude in front of him. “You were shadowing me. You knew I needed help and you were right there. That is so rude.”

Ezra lifted an eyebrow. “Dude, I was walking behind you like everyone else does, like you were walking behind others. I wasn’t shadowing you. You needed help with what, walking? Fixing your untied shoe? Don’t be lazy. You’re not entitled to be treated like a king.” Ezra walked away before the guy could say anything in return.

My eyes landed back on Kayleigh. “Huh, so Ezra doesn’t believe in entitlement. At least he knows that much.” I spun on my heel and walked into my classroom.

“What the hell is this?” Ezra’s bloody hand slammed down next to my foam plate of food.

I looked at him. “Oh, I see you got my fun surprise. You don’t like it? I’m so hurt.”

“Is this because I made a period joke?” He used a napkin to wipe it off.

I took a bite of my food. “Well, of course. I’m glad you could see how mean it was. Period jokes are never funny, are they now?”

“You...” Ezra paced back and forth before showing me the dried blood stains on his palm. “This is your blood. This is-” His eyes darted down at my pants. “-your period blood.”

I swallowed my food after chewing. “No, it’s not.”

“What? Oh.” His eyes went wide. “Whose blood is this? Did you fish a tampon out of the trash?”

“Ezra, that’s not real blood. It’s fake blood, duh. I would never actually make you touch period blood. That’s disgusting and unsanitary. Maybe now you’ll have learned your lesson about making crude jokes. Period jokes are sexist, you know. Women are allowed to be upset without it being linked to our insides being torn apart. We are humans. Think about it. Men get upset and you guys don’t have periods. Women just happen to have them but we can be upset anytime of the month, not only during that time of the month. Okay?” I took another bite of food. The pizza wasn’t anything glorious but it was good enough to eat.

Ezra sighed. “Alright, I get it. I was out of line. I’m truly sorry.” He sat down at the table.

“I know. I just thought it would be fun to get back at you.” I smiled.

“Does this mean we’re at some war?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Not necessarily. I was only teaching you a lesson. It’s not fun being the butt of a period joke. Plus, it’s cute to see you look so scared and angry at the same time. You thought you had uterus blood on you. That is golden.”

He glared at me and stood from the table. “Fine. Have it your way, Mel. Don’t come crying to me when you want my forgiveness.”

I laughed. “Oh please, I could never ask for your forgiveness. You look like the toilet paper I wipe my ass with.”

“Whatever. I have to go to study anyway. I’m failing math class. Not that you would care.” He shot me another glare before leaving the cafeteria.

I finished my lunch before throwing the plate and milk carton in the trash. I went to my next class before Kayleigh or Ezra could catch me.

After school, I headed home and was not the least bit surprised when Breanna was sitting in the kitchen. “Does mom ever ask you to bills?”

Breanna looked at me and shrugged. “Why would she? She can afford it. I’m only twenty.”

“Exactly. You should get a job.” I put my bag on the kitchen chair. I pulled drinkable yogurt from the fridge and drank it in one sitting.

“I’ll get a job when they want me to get a job. It’s not like I don’t do anything all day. I do help out around the house. I pay my dues.” She nodded.

I sat on the stool. “I see. I see how terrible you really are. You’re mooching off of them until you find a husband to mooch off of.”

“I’m not. I’m working on other projects.” She gave me a look.

“Projects? As in...binging TV?” I leaned against the counter.

She got out of her chair and grabbed my hand, pulling me up the stairs. We entered her room and she pointed to a dress form that wore an elegant gown. “I’ve been working on this. I want to be a fashion designer.”

I walked over to the dress, touching the silk fabric. “Breanna, this is stunning. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because there’s no point. You always make fun of me for not having a job. I’m always working on new pieces. I’m submitting to magazines and famous designers and companies and anywhere I can just so I can get recognized. I want to be making dresses the actresses wear on the red carpet.” She walked over to her table of countless sketches.

I walked over, admiring her work. “You have a talent. You have a passion.”

“And you always make fun of me. What else is new?”

“Breanna...” I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I knew I had to apologize. It was my fault. She never talked about it and I judged her. I had no idea why she was jobless. I assumed wrong. She had been working on her future this entire time. “I’m so sorry. I really am. I should never have judged you.”

“It’s okay, Amelia. I don’t hate you. You’re my sister.” She wrapped her arms around me, holding me close. “And if I hear one more joke again, I swear...”

I laughed, pulling away from the hug. “No. I promise I will never do that again. I really do promise.”

“Good. Get out of my room.” She smiled.

“Breanna.” I dropped my jaw.

She pointed towards the door. I slumped my shoulders as I dragged myself out of her room. Our rooms were across the hall from one another so it took me two seconds to go into my own.

Sitting on my bed, I looked out of my window. Ezra wasn’t out there, thankfully. My room wasn’t full of boy band posters or dolls. It was a normal room, really. The bed was never made and my bedspread was a solid purple color.

My walls were white and the dresser in my room was the same brown wood it came in. It was basic, exactly as Ezra had said.

I sighed at the thought of my brother. I missed him so much. It had been a while since any of us had seen him. Breanna didn’t seem to miss him as much, despite the fact those two grew up as best friends.

Ezra knew about Breanna but he had no clue I had a brother, too. Who would? Nobody remembered him but me. We weren’t always so close growing up but that didn’t mean I didn’t want him back home. I loved messing around with him.

Breanna was not the type of sibling who enjoyed practical jokes. That was where we didn’t bond. It was a tough situation but I couldn’t stop Jake from his big dreams. His future mattered to me. I cared about futures, and that included everyone. I wanted to see success for all of them.

I laid back on my bed, looking up at my ceiling. I tilted my head, reading the words someone had written. “Ezra was here in this bedroom.”

I groaned, rubbing my face. “He wrote on my ceiling. I’m going to kill him so much. He is never going to live this down.” I sat up. I knew Breanna was good for one joke she suggested to me. She was the one who came up with the idea that I could make Ezra fall for me. I was not going to fail and I was even more determined to do such a thing. The poor guy would never see it coming.

It would be a piece of cake, seeing how every day made it hard for him to avoid me. He was always right there. This boy didn’t stand a chance against me.

Queen Amelia. Ah, yes, what a fitting name for me. I was the queen if I could make Ezra himself fall for me. I would own a castle someday and eat all the sweets I needed to survive. I would have personal chefs and butlers. This was a silly dream but if I could make Ezra fall for me, I could end up in a castle. It was not impossible.

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