The Playboy is My Soulmate

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eight

Kayleigh’s eyes were glued to me the entire time I paced around my room. “It’s really not that bad. It means Ezra is a good guy for you. He has many hidden compartments and you just have to get to know them.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m sure he is such a great guy when he works for Playboy.” I shook my head. “I don’t exactly want to marry a man who works for a company where he gets to look at women’s bodies all day. Is it too much to ask him to only look at me if we’re going to be married?”

She shrugged and munched on her chips. “You can have that conversation with him when he proposes to you. But as far as I’m aware, you hate him at this time and you guys are not dating so he has the freedom to look wherever he pleases.”

I stole her bag of chips, shoving some into my mouth.

“Amelia, listen to me. I know you want to marry a great guy. Ezra can be that. Just let him show you. Change isn’t a fast process.” She stood from the bed and came closer, ripping the bag from my hands. “Don’t take my chips again or I will tell Ezra everything we are talking about right now.”

“I can’t help myself. I stress eat and I am very stressed out. Ezra is my soulmate! We can’t seem to stay away from each other. When I fell into his arms at the party, I pictured his smile and felt his warmth wrap around me. I’m supposed to hate him but I don’t. He makes my heart beat too fast.” Taking a deep breath, my hands landed over my heart.

Kayleigh gave me a genuine smile, one that held a real sincerity of joy. “It’s not the perfect love story. It never will be. But it’s yours and that’s what makes it special. If Ezra does anything that is way out of line, you can then come to me and I’ll kick his ass. Until then, what is it that stops you from trying this out?”

“Ezra made a rude comment.” I crossed my arms.

She laughed in my face. “And did he apologize for this?”

I dropped my arms, looking anywhere else but her eyes. “Yes...”

“So, you’re mad that a boy made a rude comment and apologized and hasn’t since made such rude comments? You are so right. This guy is disgusting. I prefer the ones who don’t apologize and continue to insult you.” She began to circle me.

The chattering downstairs was quieting so I couldn’t continue to focus on it. I would have to focus on Kayleigh instead.

“If there is one male in this world that hasn’t made one rude comment towards a female, bring him to me. He’s a treasure. Hell, show me one human that hasn’t made rude comments to another human before. We have all done things we regret. We are humans. We screw up. We make bad decisions. What matters is how we choose to act after those decisions.” She stopped in front of me. “Ezra chose to apologize and respect your wishes. That is a real man.”

I said, “He’s definitely no Edward Cullen.”

Edward Cullen was no Jacob. The two were so different. Jacob was better looking but he had terrible manners and morals. Edward had more of those. Jacob could never take a hint when Bella ended up with Edward.

Kayleigh shook her head, lifting her upper lip to make a face. “No, no he’s not. Edward Cullen will always be on top. He sparkles.”

I smiled a little, grabbing her hands. “Ah, yes. Edward the stalker and Jacob the pedophile. Such a lovely group of people. These characters were amazing.”

Kayleigh twirled herself around. “Bella was as interesting as a brick. Edward was simply a stalker. Jacob was a pedophile. I think these characters were perfect for the story.”

“They destroyed the entire vampire world. Vampires and werewolves were doing just fine without them. Now everyone assumes vampires are Edward Cullen.” I brushed the back of my hand against my forehead.

She nodded, shrugging. “That’s true. But no matter how bad that went, I will always have a deep love for werewolves.”

She loved her werewolves. It was interesting because there was nothing cooler about a werewolf. They turned into wolves. What was it about them that attracted her?

“Let’s get back on topic. We were talking about you and Ezra being soulmates. Is there anything that is stopping you?” Kayleigh directed us back to our original subject.

“Well, there’s...” I had nothing and that was certain. Ezra was good. He had apologized and he was trying to be a better guy. He hadn’t done anything way out of line since that first comment.

“You have nothing, don’t you?” she asked me.

I nodded and let out a nervous laugh.

I wasn’t too sure what I was supposed to do about this. I had no reason to really hate Ezra at this point. There was a theory as to why I did have a vendetta against him and that could be because I loved to hate him, or I hated to love him.

He seemed so different at that party last night. He had shown a whole other side I’d never seen. There was so much more going on inside his head that I never could have guessed. I liked to think of myself as smart but I had never once pondered on the idea that our paths were set despite how we tried to change them. Ezra had cracked it just like that.

Kayleigh was here to help me realize how stupid I was and my brain was here to tell my heart to shut up when it came to listening to Kayleigh. My heart wanted to give up this stupid arguing whereas my brain wanted to hold off as long as we could.

I was following my brain. Logic over feelings.

“Ezra, we need to talk about that night,” I said into the men’s shower room.

“What is there to talk about?” The water was running during our conversation. I’m sure had gotten sweaty during gym and he was just freshening up. Humans just had to sweat.

I laid my back against the wall. “I want to talk about our futures.”

He turned the water off. “We don’t know our futures.” A few seconds followed and he stood in the entryway in just a white towel. His brown hair was pushed back but his skin glistened from the liquid in the shower.

I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t want Ezra at this moment. There was something about a man in a towel that just hit a woman hard. I was hit. I needed a doctor.

“Amor?” He grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head.

My heart wished for me to rip the towel off but my brain knew better.

“I’m sure you feel it,” I said.

“What am I supposed to feel?” He shook the excess water from his and messed up his hair.

“Feel...” My face burned hot before I could finish my sentence. I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell him that I knew we were soulmates. We couldn’t seem to stay away from one another.

Ezra closed the gap between us. “What are your feelings, Mel?”

I swallowed my words. The heat radiated off of him and kept my front side warm to the touch. His head was hovering over mine. I hated myself for even hoping he would close the space between our lips. I was just like every other straight girl in this school who wished to get a taste of him.

I wanted to hate him but I couldn’t get my heart to follow those instructions. I hated how much I didn’t hate him.

Hate was always a strong word and while I made remarks that I hated Ezra, I knew it was never true. I had a strong dislike for him but there was an even stronger like for him that kept luring me back.

Ezra put distance between us as he turned the corner. “You are generally supposed to answer questions, Amor.” He came back out of the showers in his own clothes. He gave me a smirk as he left the gym. I walked behind him and tried to keep up. He was walking faster than usual.

“You’re going to stalk me?” He glanced back at me.

I stopped, the eyes of every human penetrating my soul. Why were they watching us? This was none of their business.

“I guess I’ll leave you.” I backed away. Ezra turned to face me, giving me a confused look. I ran the other way, entering the bathroom and standing in front of the mirror.

I was getting caught up in this mess they called Ezra. He couldn’t change for me. This was a game to him. This was how he played every woman. He was a playboy.

He was messing with my head this whole time. He was never actually into me. He was playing a sick game so I would want him and fall for his tricks. I couldn’t be one of his toys. I wasn’t going to be like the rest of the girls.

“Amelia, what’s wrong? Ezra said you ran into here.” Kayleigh came in, using her thumb to point to the door. She looked at me through the mirror and wrapped her arms around me. “What happened?”

I hadn’t realized tears were falling down until the sobs came. I turned around, hugging Kayleigh tightly.

“What did Ezra say?” she asked.

I rested my chin on her shoulder. “Nothing. He’s just playing me. I’m another game for him. That’s what he does to girls like me. We aren’t supposed to be together. This is just how he wins me over. He makes me believe he wants to be around me and then I want to be around him. He’s going to screw me over like the rest.”

“You mean that literally, don’t you?” Kayleigh giggled.

“Kay, I’m serious!” I pulled away.

She wiped away my tears. “Hey, look at me. How do you know you haven’t changed his heart? You won’t know. You’re making a judgment because of his past. If he is using you, he will eventually kiss you and try to push you further. But what if he doesn’t? What if he kisses you and actually wants to respect your choice?”

I pushed my fists against my cheeks, trying to soak up the tears. “And how do I find this out? Continue to play the game? It’s a game of roulette.”

I grabbed the paper towels from the machine on the wall, using them to dry my eyes.

Kayleigh pushed my hair back. “It’s a scary chance to take. I know. But I will be here the whole time. Edward Cullen never left Bella, except when he left her that one time and she basically died without him. My point is, if he is really into you, you will miss out on that if you don’t take the chance.”

“If I fall and he doesn’t catch me, what am I supposed to do then?” I laid my head against her shoulder.

She rubbed my back and hummed gently. She said nothing more, letting her actions speak for her. She would be here if Ezra decided to leave. Kayleigh was always going to be here. She was the one who always had my back, and I meant that literally, too.

She was the Edward to my Bella. There was just one probably. Jacob was butting in as Ezra and I was trying to choose between the two. Everyone who read the books or saw the movies knew how this would always end. Edward and Bella were the ones who got married.

Kayleigh was my best friend and I would always put her before any Jacob that pried into my life. Ezra would have to make room for her or this could never work out.

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