I stared at Vanessa for what felt like an eternity in shock. I mean, she just said that she wanted to take things slow, and I agreed that it would be best and that we should get to know each other before any intimacy, and now she’s saying she wants me to go to her room? Does she want to have sex? Is she contradicting everything that she had said? I mean, I know we’re Bonded Souls, and believe me, I am… more that willing to sleep with her, to take her wherever she wanted me to, but she was a virgin, and I didn’t want her first time to be unromantic. Jesus.
I haven’t prepared myself for sex. At all. It had been a while since I’d had sex with Cleo, and since we’d broken up I hadn’t exactly been keeping up with hygiene — it was pretty much nineteen-seventy below the belt, if you catch my drift. Zero maintenance.
The look on my face must have been priceless, because Vanessa let out a loud, beautiful, true belly laugh and leaned against the wall.
“Are you okay?” Vanessa giggled, “The look on your face is priceless.”
“W-well, I uh... It’s just that you said you’d like to take it slow, and I uh... w-well…” I cleared my throat, incredibly embarrassed that my stutter was coming back, and fully aware that my face was as red as a beet, considering how hot it felt. “When you say a tour of your room, what exactly do you mean?”
Vanessa cocked an eyebrow at me, the grin never leaving her face.
“What do you think I mean?”
“I don’t know what you mean. That’s why I’m asking.”
“I just wanted to see your reaction.” She laughed.
I let out a breath of relief, thankful she didn’t want to have sex, because of my lack of maintaining my lower region, and because I knew I wouldn’t last long.
I furrowed my brow as I thought to myself.
What if Vanessa is different from Cleo? What if Vanessa doesn’t mind a little pubic hair? What if she wouldn’t like me to completely hairless like Cleo did? I know I certainly prefer a little hair on myself, but Cleo refused to have sex with me if I didn’t shave everything off, which, now that I think about it, is kind of fucked up and sexist, considering that she only trimmed her pubes every once in a while, never going full Brazilian, or removing her pubes even for a bikini wax. Don’t get me wrong, I could care less how a woman grooms herself, I am pro ‘her body her choice’, but when I brought that up to Cleo she told me to shut up and slapped me, accused me of cheating on her by watching porn, which I never did, and then made me sleep on the sofa for a week. Hmm. Would Vanessa be aggressive like Cleo? Would I be the brunt of Vanessa’s anger like I was for Cleo… Getting slapped for no reason, or chastised for not cooking the right meal? Would Vanessa withhold sex, or refuse to kiss, cuddle, or hold my hand? Would she mock me for getting emotional while watching or reading something sad, and laugh at me because my favourite movie is Titanic? Would she… Would she call me a pussy because I don’t hit back, or put me down, or refuse to listen to me talk about my day. God, I hope Vanessa won’t make fun of me for being sensitive, or for how easy it is for my feelings to get hurt, or because I’m still not fully comfortable swimming. Sure, I could swim, but I wasn’t strong at it, and open water and deep pools scared the shit out of me. Cleo always thought it was funny how scared I was.
I bit my lip and rubbed the back of my neck.
What if Vanessa embarrasses me like Cleo did? What if she makes me feel small and insignificant? What if she doesn’t like cuddling in bed, or dancing to no music, or romantic dinners at home as opposed to at an expensive restaurant… What if she realizes I’m not good enough for her like Cleo did, and she cheats on me? What if she thinks I’m not good enough in bed? What if—
I was pulled out of my thoughts by Vanessa gently cupping my cheek with her small, warm hand, with her brow furrowed in concern.
“Chris? What’s wrong, are you okay?”
I cleared my throat and gave her a small smile, “Yeah, totally.”
“You were a million miles away.” She said softly.
“Sorry. I was just…” I gave an awkward chuckle, “I guess I was just thinking. Or overthinking. I tend to overthink things a lot, I’m sorry. I’m here, promise.”
“What were you thinking about?” Vanessa asked, her thumb gently caressing my cheek.
Is she going to get pissed at me for not telling her what I’m thinking about? But if I tell her, she’ll freak out and get even angrier, and then ignore me for days. I know she will.
“Okay.” She said softly with a nod, “I won’t press you.”
“You won’t?” I asked, genuinely shocked.
“No.” She shook her head.
Before I could say anything, the door burst open and two men around Vanessa’s age walked in laughing, one carrying two grocery bags, and the other carrying three. I narrowed my eyes and wrapped an arm around Vanessa, instantly wanting to protect my Bonded Soul from these intruders.
One of the men jumped when he saw me and let out a shriek.
“Oh my god, is this him?!” He asked in a high, excited voice.
“Who? Oh! Oh my god!” The other man shrieked.
“Honey! Oh my go- okay, stay there! Let me put these bags down, oh my gooood I’m so excited!” The first man pranced over to the kitchen counter, gleefully humming in excitement.
I cocked an eyebrow in confusion as the second man was quick to follow the first, dropping the bags on the counter. I didn’t have time to register what was happening before I was grabbed by each of the men who cooed at me excitedly.
“John! Johnny, oh my god, look at him!”
“I know, babe, I know! Ohh, Nessa, he’s cuter than you described!” The man, John, or Johnny squealed. “Oh, Nessa he’s so beautiful.”
I quickly came to the conclusion that these two intruders were Vanessa’s two roommates that she mentioned, and that they were both incredibly gay, but didn’t know if they were together.
Vanessa laughed and slapped their hands away from me, stepping in front of me as if to protect me.
“Adam! John! Stop.” She laughed, turning to face me, “Chris, these are my roomies, Adam.”
The first man gave me a big smile. He was on the shorter side and a little husky, with a high voice, slicked back blonde hair that fell just to the nape of his neck, and gave off serious flamboyant vibes with his long rainbow scarf, tightly fitted, v-neck white t-shirt and tight jeans.
“And this is John.” Vanessa pointed at the other man.
John was tall and trim, with tanned skin, and black hair that was pulled back into a bun, and was sporting stubble along his jawline. He gave an aura of femininity, but he was also the kind of guy you could tell could fight, and had been in a fight or two, and his voice was deep.
“Hello.” I gave them a nod.
“Hi!” Adam smiled.
“Nessa has told us all about you.” John grinned.
“Really?” I looked at Vanessa who had a slight blush.
“Not all about you.” She said softly, her voice just above a whisper.
“Pah-leeze!” Adam scoffed, “She told us that you’re a doctor, you were gorgeous, you were sweet, and you’ve been here since your residency!”
John went to speak, but Adam held his finger up, continuing.
“And, by the way, you are incredible for taking care of the mentally ill. The world needs more doctors who aren’t afraid to help those who have mental health issues.”
“That was what I was going to say.” John pouted slightly.
“Beat you to it.” Adam batted his eyelashes.
“Guys.” Vanessa hissed. “You’re embarrassing me.”
I couldn’t hide the grin forming on my face. She was embarrassed that she had gushed to her roommates about me, and I was flattered that she had.
“Don’t you guys have groceries to put away?” Vanessa glared at them.
“Come on Chris, let’s go to my room.” Vanessa took my hand and started to lead me down the hall.
“Be gentle with her, she’s a delicate flower!” Adam called out, a hand to his chest.
Vanessa stopped in her tracks and turned to face Adam and John, her eyes a blazing red, showing her anger.
“Fuck. Off.” She growled.
“Ah! Don’t kill me!” Adam laughed as he hid behind John.
I couldn’t help but chuckle as Vanessa pulled me into her room.
Her room was small, with a white twin sized bed against the wall under the only window, a white dresser, white desk with a laptop and several nursing student books on it. Her bed had a pink comforter with yellow sunflowers on it and a frilly pillowcase on the single pillow. The walls were decorated with postcards from different countries, and there were several framed photos on her dresser of who I assumed were her parents and relatives.
Vanessa quickly grabbed a sweater from her bed and draped it over the of the chair that sat at the desk. She tucked her hair behind her ear and let out a nervous chuckle.
“This is my room.”
I nodded and grinned. “I figured, since you’re the only female living here and there is a bra on the floor by the bed.”
Vanessa’s smile instantly dropped and her eyes darted to the floor by her bed where a lacy pink bra lay. She darted for it, quickly bunching it up and stuffed it into a drawer of her dresser.
It was adorable to see how embarrassed she was about me seeing her lingerie, and made me smile even more.
“It’s not the first bra I’ve seen, I grew up with two sisters and a mother.” I chuckled.
A look of sadness washed over Vanessa’s face for a split second before she let out a single chuckle.
“Y-yeah… I wasn’t expecting anyone to come in here.” She fidgeted with her hair, “I don’t have a lot of people over.”
“Do you… want to sit?”
She sat down on her bed and patted the spot beside her, inviting me to sit. I sat next to her and looked at the photos on her dresser, my eyes settling on one photo in particular. A man and a woman in dark clothes with dark cloaks, neither of them smiling with a smiling young girl, who I assumed was Vanessa. The man and woman each had a hand on the girls shoulders as they stood in a darkened room. I squinted my eyes slightly as I looked at another photo, this one of a large group of about fifty men and women, all in dark clothes with dark cloaks, none of them smiling, as a line of smiling children stood at the front. My eyes darted back to the first picture. There was something oddly familiar about it, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Vanessa saw me looking at the photos and her eyes widened slightly before she stood up and lowered the two pictures, face side down.
“Sorry.” She said softly, “My family.”
She turned to look at me, biting her lip. “Like I said, I didn’t expect anyone to come in… Kind of awkward for you to see my family… And me as a child with buck teeth.”
I gave her a soft smile. “Hey, I’ve got pictures of my family on display, too. One very cheesy and embarrassing picture of my family and I at Disney, all wearing Mickey Mouse ears and silly, tourist t-shirts lists right beside my bed. We went there for my baby sister’s fourth birthday.”
“Oh? You travelled a lot when you were little?”
“Mmhmm, yeah. My parents would take us all over.” I nodded as Vanessa sat down, “We had homes in Palm Springs, France, Fiji, England, Maine, a beach house in Malibu, luxury suites in penthouses around the world… Well, my parents still have the houses.”
“Wow.” Vanessa slowly sat down beside me, “You’ve been to France?”
“Mmhmm. My parents have a villa there. We didn’t go there often, though. As kids we opted for Disney, or Fiji, or the bakehouse in Maine, mostly. Oh, except for Christmas. Christmas we preferred Aspen, and went there most years.”
Vanessa stared at me in fascination, nodding.
“Sorry, god - Jesus, I’m sorry.” I groaned, “That was absolutely ridiculous.”
“No, I love hearing about it!” Vanessa grinned.
I chuckled, “Well, tell me about you, and what your family did when you were little.”
She stared at me with that same, almost sad expression, before she leaned in and kissed me, taking me off guard.
I cupped the back of her neck, deepening the kiss as she fell back on the bed, pulling me down on top of her. She wrapped her legs around my waist, holding onto me as our tongues danced around each others. I let out a groan when one of her hands travelled to the front of my slacks, feeling my cock start to get hard, the other taking my hand placing it on top of her breast, to which I started needing slowly. A soft moan escaped her lips as I kissed the side of her neck softly, my hand rubbing and gently squeezing at her breasts. I pulled away from her and looked down at her flushed face as she panted slightly.
“Vanessa?” I brushed her hair out of her face.
“Why don’t you talk about your family? I feel like I talk about mine all the time, but you’ve never talked about yours.”
She looked away from me biting her lip, but I cupped her chin and gently forced her to look at me.
I sat up and followed suit, looking down at her hands. I reached out and took one of her hands, and she looked up at me.
“Just what?” I asked softly.
“My parents… They’re not like yours.” She said quietly, looking down at her hands.
“What do you mean?”
“They’re…” She looked at me with teary eyes, and whispered,
“They’re bad people. Very bad people.”