I sit on my ottoman front of my full length mirror my hair wrapped in a towel, my fluffy white dressing gown, covering the skin that Wes previously ran his hands over, every inch of my skin itches for his touch again, I throw my back on to the soft fabric of my bedding. Every brain cell is working on overdrive to at least come up with some sort of solution to what the FUCK I am going to, if I cancel my date with Jamie, he’ll be heartbroken. If I go and he finds out the I slept with Wes a matter of hour before hand he’ll be heartbroken, and he’ll hate me. I look at my phone all I can see is. A text message from 24 minutes ago for Brook.
… So you slept with Wes, huh?
I look down at the phone and drop it into my lap and bring my hands to my face.
Can you come to my room, please, I need help man…!!!
I then hear foot steps coming up the stairs until my bedroom door swings open. “Yes? Young one?” I roll my eyes as she sits down on the ottoman beside me.
“I know that if I cancel on my date with Jamie an hour and a half before hand he’ll be so upset, but if I go, and he finds out I slept with Wes less than an hour ago, he’ll be even more upset.” She sighs and looks at me out of the corner of her eye.
“He’ll be upset either way, if you tell him, if you cancel, but, it’ll be worse if he finds out through someone else. You need to tell him.” I look down at my hands and begin fiddling with one of my rings. “But first you need to figure something else out, do you regret it happening, forgetting the Jamie of it all, do you regret it?”
I look up at her and shake my head. “Around Wes, I feel beautiful, sexy, like I’m at home, like the only girl in the world. But Jamie, I just feel bad for loving Wes, like every action I make is like rubbing it in his face.” Smiles sadly and takes my hand in hers.
“But you love him. You just don’t want to hurt Jamie, that just shows you care about him, not in the same way.” I nod and look up at her.
“Thank you Brooke.” She nods and gives me a hug as she walks out of my room.
I push the thought out of my head and pull out my phone and snap a photo of myself before saving it and sending it to the snapchat group chat with the caption ‘Wtf do I even wear tonight?’ I quickly get a response from Gracie, with a complete mug of herself, ‘Chill babes, we are on our way’ I sigh raising to my feet and make my way back to my bed throwing my back on to the mattress.
I scroll through my music queuing my favourite songs to dance about to as me and the girls are getting ready, before I realise much time has gone past Gracie, Lara and Hannah burst through the door, smiling brightly, “So, I messaged Jamie and asked the dress code and I bought so clothes that sounded like he described.” She pulls out floor length red satin ballgown with a thigh high slit on the right leg and a tight bodice. I lace up my red satin lace up ribbon heels I bought and have been waiting for an occasion to wear the pair to for far too long. Gracie and Hannah stand behind me placing hair extension and straightening my hair pin straight. As Lara does applies concealer for my cut crease.
They sing and dance to the music playing over the speakers. “Skye, since when did we become your glam squad?” I turn to Gracie and start to giggle slightly. “Who knows Gray, at this rate I either need to hire an actual glam squad or start paying you guys.” They all giggle as I start filming my reflection in the mirror. I begin flicking through photos from the past few weeks I see the photos from mine and Wes’s date, how simplistic it was, how I had barely any make up, how it was just us, no press or anyone else. I look over at Gracie and Lara, sighing, they look at me with furrowed eyebrows, “You okay Skye, you look bothered.” Gracie expresses her confusion and sits beside me. I look between her and Lara, “Jamie has known me my whole life, surely he knows I don’t care about fancy and expensive dinners, all I care about is time about is spending time with the person I’m with.” I shake my head and sigh as I stand and walk go the door, “Ya know what, I’m being silly, tonight will probably be great; I’m worrying about nothing.”
We all slowly walk down the stairs, and towards the door just as we reach the bottom of the stairs, there is a small knock at the door, Lara takes larger steps towards the door opening it in front of Gracie and me, and there stood Jamie, in smart trousers, a formal dark grey suit shirt and skinny black tie. I smile at how attractive he looks as Lara steps aside and Jamie spots me for the first time, “Wow… I’m speechless, you look absolutely flawless.” I smile and begin to blush, I walk pass Lara, and see a smart street car parked in the driveway, “thats a fancy car.” He smirks slightly and looks towards me, “come on we should go.” I nod slightly and walk towards the car with his hand intertwined with mine, I look in the car, small glasses of champagne already poured.
“Jamie, before we go, I need to tell you something.” He waves his hand as if to dismiss me.
“No ’something you need to tell me’s until the end of the night!” I try and speak again before he looks at me with a ‘what did I just tell you kind of look’ I sigh and slump back in my chair
“So Jamie, where are you taking me tonight?” He smirks ever so slightly and looks over to me “Thats a surprise gorgeous.” I smile, with a slight feeling of being scared. We share a bottle of champagne as we drive through the village near our houses, we quite quickly arrive in a fancy village in the nicer part of where we live the car parks outside one of the houses, Jamie turns to me, “Right give me a minute, I’ll be right back.” He jumps out the car and runs up to the door of one of the red brick town houses. A women that must be in her forties opens the door and smiles, Jamie and the women briefly talk and she smiles before handing Jamie something and hugging him before he runs back down to the car. He comes to my side of the car and opens the door, “Coming?” I smile but my eyebrows furrow. I try to gracefully climb out the car as I hold Jamie’s hand. We walk to the locked gate to the private park for the use of the surrounding houses. He uses a key to unlock the gate and we walk threw, “Did you steal that?” He smirks and laughs to himself slightly. “No Skye, that woman is my aunt, she gave me the key for tonight. I smile as we walk through the small wooded part until we come the centre where a small gazebo is placed, we walk up the steps and he flicks a switch, lighting the gazebo with fairy lights. He begins playing my favourite slow dance song through his phone, I turn to him and smile. He takes my hand in his and laces his arm around my waist and we begin to dance slowly to the song, we smile and talk to ourselves. I look at Jamie and smile he smiles back as he looks into my eyes and leans into kiss me, pull back slightly, and look away. He steps back and walks back over to his phone, “I’m sorry Jamie.” He looks down and sighs, “It’s okay, Skylar. I just wish I could kiss you and not have to care about so other guy or anything but you and me, because that is all I want, surely you know that.” I walk over to beside Jamie and sit on the bench, “I know, I’m sorry, this isn’t fair on anyone, I’m just sorry.” He takes my hand in his and kisses it, “I get it, thank you for doing this all in probably in the best way, I just wish we could skip all of this and you can pick me.” I laugh slightly, “You sound confident.” He laugh loudly, “I have to be, it’s the only thing getting me through.” He stands and offers me his hand, before we begin to make our way back to the car.
We drive through the streets of London and full in front of a restaurant that my dad describes as being ‘full of posh wankers’ I sigh to myself, as I step out the car and watch as Jamie walks round the car, we walk through the door. Jamie looks steps towards the hostess. “Hi, we’ve got a reservation for Bradley Graham.” She nods and leads us to a table in a private room red roses and candles filling the room. I look at the Jamie and shake my head, “Jamie you didn’t need to do this, just because you found out about one aspect of my life does mean that you need to put yourself in a ridiculous amount of debt to impress me, I’m the kind of girl that would rather go to McDonald’s rather than eat tiny little portions and have to gorge on food when I get home.” He shakes his and laughs slightly, he nod and sits at the table and looks towards me. “Skylar, I know that but I wanted to impress you. I want to make this special that is all. Tell ya what we’ll do exactly what you said we’ll walk right out and to the closest McDonalds.” I smile and nod holding his hand in mine.
We walk into the street and press surround the restaurant, we climb into the car and I look towards him “Can I tell you yet?” He shakes his head and looks towards me.
“Not until we are on the way back to yours” I sigh, we quickly arrive at the Bakers Street McDonalds, we step inside and the store looks packed, we walk up to a free touch screen and begin making our order of a box of 20 nuggets to share with ketchup, 2 sweet curry and barbecue dips, I get a medium five select meal with sour cream and sweet chilli dips and a toffee latte. Jamie orders a large quarter pounder and cheese meal with a banana milkshake. We then sit for a while, when I sigh and look up at Jamie. “Jamie, I have something to tell you, I don’t want you to find out from anyone else” he looks up at me with a concerned look in his eyes.
“Is everything okay Skye?” I begin spinning my coffee cup on the table
“Earlier today, I called Wes, I need to asking him something, we got coffee, and ended up back at his. I’m so sorry Jamie, but we slept together.” He falls back in his chair and I can visibly see his body deflate.
“What did you need to ask him?” I feel my eyebrows furrow together as I look at him.
“Huh?” I looks up him, and as he looks at me it almost feels like anger and disappointment in his eyes.
“What was so important that you had to know today?” I slide down slightly in my chair, I’m almost unable to look at him because I’m ashamed, not because of what happened with Wes but because it hurt him.
“I went to work today and spoke to Jenny, about the situation with you, me and Wes, it made me think a lot about when me and Wes broke up, and he said something, that hurt, I need to understand why he said those things.” He nods slowly.
“And? What did he say?” I look up him.
“He said he was a stupid kid, that he was selfish and wanted everything, including things he couldn’t have in that moment. But that he regrets saying them now.” He nods slowly.
“And you love him?” I nod refusing to look him in the eyes. “And you don’t love me?” I shake my head so fast I thing that it’s going to fall off.
“I love you so much Jamie, but in the way I love Gracie, and Hannah, and Lara, but I am in love with Wes… I am so sorry Jamie…” he looks up at me and forces a small smile.
“It’s okay, Skylar. Thank you for being honest, I want to be your friend but I think I need sometime, if that’s okay?” I nod before standing up and embracing him into a tight hug.
We finish our food and quickly make our way out the door and towards the car again, which is exactly when I hear my name shouted by a familiar voice, I look in the direction of the voice, and there I see Jessica, “Skylar!” I walk towards her, and she seems to have been crying, “Skylar, before you say anything, let me just say this, I am so sorry that I told everyone, but before I say the truth, I want to explain, I have been in love with you since we were six years old and then you branched out friends wise, with Gracie and Hannah, that massively upset me, I wanted to keep you all to myself, so when I found a photo of you and your family, the fact you didn’t tell me hurt me, so I wanted to hurt you, I am so fucking sorry it’s unbelievable.” I walk towards her and take her face in my hands and press my lips tightly to hers.
--- One Week Later ---
I walk into Lara and Arlo’s house, an invitation to my dad’s birthday in hand. I step into the kitchen Lara stood by the fridge, Arlo and Wes sat at the island in the enter of the kitchen “Skylar…” Lara spots me and looks quickly looks at Wes with a sad look on her face, Wes looks down to his hands, stands up, announcing “I’m going for a smoke.” Before walking to the back garden. I look to Lara and Arlo, sighing, “I’ll talk to him.” Placing the invitation on the island and walking to the back garden.
I close the French doors behind me and look to the ground as I take steps to the patio furniture and sitting down. “Skylar, I don’t think I can speak to you yet. Maybe at some point, but right now… all I want to do is kiss you and hug you and hold you but you have a girlfriend. I wish I was mature enough to speak to you but I’m hurt right now, I know its immature but I am. I just wish I was good enough for you. I really do. I really always knew it wouldn’t be me because if we are honest… I never really deserved you, I never will.” Each word breaks my heart. A tear rolls down my cheek and he steps forward and wipes a tear away from my skin and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and creases my jaw.
I step back slightly and take his face in my hands. “For a long time, it was going to always be you. You will always own a little piece of my heart Wes and if anything I never deserved you and probably never will. I’m sorry, maybe one day it will be you.” I press my lips to his cheek before stepping backwards slowly.
“I understand why you’re hurt Wes, I do, I hope you know I am so sorry…”
“Do you though?” We slept together a matter of hours before I see photos all over my phone of you out with Jamie, dressed in a ball gown in McDonalds, then kissing that girl that told everyone your secret.” He takes another drag of his cigarette, I take a step towards him and take the cigarette out of his hands and and take a drag.
“I didn’t plan it Wes, I still question every second of every day if it was the right decision, and standing here in front of you if making me think even more that it wasn’t!” Before spinning and wiping a tear away from my face that had fell from my cheek.