Angelo sat in his car outside his parent’s home, the driveway was full which meant everyone was here, his three sisters their spouses and children. So that meant once he step foot through the doors the women would go on attack trying to set him with friends, friend’s daughters, sisters cousins anything female that could possibly lead to a match. He couldn’t take it today. He could hear his mother now as soon as he stepped through the door. “Angelo when you going to bring a girl home. I need a grandson. You’re not going to have that body and looks forever. Look at your father.” And she always said it in one breath. No help he was all alone when it came to the Binochi women and their meddling. The husbands were no help because misery loved company and his father just laughed and would shout. “I got this way because you’re cooking Cella.”
Everyone in the Binochi house now believed that all the males would come from him since all his sisters had produced nothing but girls. Connie and Ignacio had Tabitha and little Cella, Italia and Carlo had Natalia and Nicole and Marcus just had Victoria. Even his own father had started turned on him. “When will we have another Binochi male Angelo …What will happen to my legacy? My brother has five grandsons, count my fingers ANGELO…Bento has FIVE SONS and your both are the same age. What’s going on Angelo find a damn wife or get some girl pregnant before I die so I can hold my grandson in my arms”.
“ET TU, BRUTE.” He said to his father at their last gathering which had been to watch the Eagles play the Raiders. “Even you Brutus this shit Angelo. Take your Raider loving ass out of my house and don’t come the fuck back unless you a get some girl pregnant with my grandson. How you like them apples? I want a fucking grandson. Hear me boy.” Everyone was shocked himself included.
That had been the drunken Vinny Binochi after the Eagles lost to Raiders, his team, he had and actually kicked him out his family home telling not to come back until he had a son. His sisters and brother in laws broke into laughter. His mother sat quietly saying nothing. Which was unusual. That had been the last family get together.
Now he didn’t have the energy to go into the house. Maybe he should just go home and call it a night makeup an excuse a meeting. He was just about to call the house from his cell phone when he saw the curtains move then the door opened of course it was loud mouth Connie. “ANGELO COME ON IN THE HOUSE. EVERYONE IS HUNGRY AND YOU’VE BEEN SITTING OUT HERE FOR TWENTY MINUTES NOW NO ONE CARES IF YOU DON’T HAVE A GIRL PREGNANT WITH A BINOCHI BOY IN HER BELLY.”
Connie was a constant pain in his but so he couldn’t help but roll down his window in response.
“SHUT THE HELL UP CONNIE, I’M COMING. I’M ON THE PHONE.”
“YOU CAN TALK IN HERE AND YOU’RE YELL LIKE THAT WHEN YOU’RE ON THE PHONE? LIAR.” He watched her go back in the house leaving the door open.
He got out the car slammed the door. He loved his sisters he would kill for them but he hated being the only boy.
He walked into the house greeted by his sister Nicole she was holding his niece. Her husband stood beside her holding a doll wrapped in a blue blanket. “So glad you could join us”. She smiled.
“We Thought you could use this.” Her husband put in. Angelo looked down at the doll as his brother in law pulled the blanket loose to show him that the doll was wearing a little green Eagles undershirt. Trying not to laugh himself he watched as he turned the doll over. Printed on the back in white letters Little Vinny. Angelo walked past his laughing brother in law truly insulted that he was going to brunt of the jokes tonight.
“Angelo the dolls for you it’s a boy.” His brother in law yelled. Angelo turned around holding up matching middle fingers.
“Don’t be like that Angelo. It’s only a joke. “His sister stated trying to contain her mirth.
“Whatever Nicky.” He looked at their laughing faces. He had to admit it was funny but he refused to let them know how hilarious he thought it really was. He left them in the living room laughing uncontrollably at his expense.
Entering the kitchen he found his mother standing in front of the stove cooking. Kissing her on the cheek he looked over at his older sisters Connie and Italia sat at the table smiling smugly at him.as the chopped vegetable for a salade. Something was definitely when his older sister stayed quiet something was up..
“Angelo, why were you hiding in the car?” His mother asked turning from cooking. Her blue eyes bright with mischief. He could feel it in his bones as he looked from his sisters to his mother something was definitely going on he should just make some excuse and leave before the shit hit the fan. What could he say to get out of dinner. .. “Your father had too much to drink last weekend he didn’t mean what he said.”
He sat down opposite his sister Connie taking the beer that sat in front of her he smiled at her taking a swig. “Can we please not talk about me finding a wife and settling down tonight, I’ve had a busy day. And I’m not for it.” His mother placed her hand under his chin lifting his head so that his attention was totally on her.
“Whatever you say honey, but remember you’re not going to have that body and looks forever. Just look at your father.” She smile giving him a kiss on his forehead.
Everyone was acting strange. Something was definitely up.. Not one conversation about him getting married or heirs, this was a first and it was scaring the hell out of him. He couldn’t even enjoy his Alfredo. A thirty year old man, frightened of his family He was CEO Binochi Tools ran it like a fine tuned car without a problem he employed thousands but his family had him spooked . Aliens had to have taken the over Binochi dinner. “Ok where are the real Binochi’s?” Angelo looked around the table. His father gave him a sideways smile.
“I’ve been told that I’ll be sleeping on the couch if I so much as mention kicking you out of my own house.” Angelo looked from his father to mother. “I can’t kick my own son out.”
“No you can’t” His mother said.
“You spoil him too much Cella.”
“He’s our only son and the baby Vincenzo.”
Angelo watched his dad placed his fork on his plate and sat back. He knew that a quite dinner with this family would never happen. He took a sip of wine. He was going to needed it. His father was giving him that look.
“It breaks my heart Angelo that your mother has to cook and clean for you. I told her it’s either me or you.”
“Vinny stop making him feel bad.”
“I told mom she didn’t have to do that.”
“And I no longer will.”
“The spoiled momma’s boy without his mommy to cook and clean what’s the world coming too?”
“Shut up Constance. ”Cella looked over at her daughter.
“You’re just jealous.” Angelo smiled.
“Oh it gets better, I wish they brought me one.” Nicole put in.
He looked from her to his smiling mother. He drank his whole glass of wine. It was coming he could feel it.
“One what? “Angelo asked afraid to find out what the answer would be.
“I and your father paid for a maid service for you.” His mother was beaming from ear to ear, he felt sick.
“You really didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes we did.” His mother said. “Consider it as an early birthday gift.”
“Whose daughter mom?”
“Whatever are you talking about? I found one of the best maid services for you.”
“Mom please tell him the name of the service. Please.” Connie put in.
“I don’t need a maid?” He said looking at his mother.
“It’s called The French Maid. And it’s paid for. And she’s coming tomorrow. Mi Capisce.”
He mother gave him that look that said the conversation was over.
“Capisco benissimo mama. I understand.
Cella looked at her husband who raised his glass in salute. She had to stick to the plan her son was no fool she had to shut the girls up.
“Doesn’t it sound like and escort service?” Nicole laughed.
“Nicole, keep quite. Come help me with desert girls.” Angelo could see it was a conspiracy everyone in the room was involved.
He watched as the women exited the room. His mother leading the way. He turned to the group of men at the table. “All of you know this is a setup.” He looked at each of his brother in laws who refused to even give him eye contact. His father on the other hand looked directly at him a devilish smile on his face.
“Dad help me out here.” He knew his plead was in vain.
“Angelo my boy I had a beautiful dream last night…” He watch his father take a drink of his wine. “I saw you with this beautiful Angle, no pun intended… she had these wings like the Victoria’s Secret model, the only thing she wore this French maid dress you know the black and white thing with the apron. It was real short sexy. Well anyways you two came into the house, you had a baby in your arms and you presented to me…it had on an Eagle Jersey that said Vincenzo Binochi.”
His brother in laws were getting a real kick out of it. “This is not funny you guys.” He pointed to them. “So you’re saying mom still playing matchmaker.”
“Know I said I had a dream about you and a girl with a baby. And that’s all I’m saying because here they come.”
Angelo looked at the Binochi women coming out of the kitchen every one of them were in on it. They all had wicked witch smiles on their faces. He refilled his glass and drank it down in one gulp.