#33 You are enough
“Jagger,” I hear Abby saying into the phone, unaware of me standing behind her. She’s sitting at the kitchen island, her phone lying in front of her, and I see her tap the speaker function. “Please tell me you’re coming home soon. Chris and I are worried sick about you. It’s his birthday soon. At least come home for that, okay?”
“I’m not in the mood to celebrate,” Jagger’s cranky voice replies.
“Neither are we, and it’s not like we’re throwing a party or anything, you idiot,” she says, sounding exasperated. We’ve been trying to reach him for days now, and while I’m relieved he picked up this time, I hate that he’s still shutting us out. “We’re going to order some pizza and watch a movie, that’s it,” Abby tells him, her tone pleading. “Just show up, eat some pizza, tell Chris happy birthday. I’m not asking you to stay the night if you’re not ready. We just want to see you, even if it’s just for one lousy dinner.”
“Fine,” Jagger says with a sigh. “I’ll be there. But you better get me my favorite pizza.”
“Extra pineapple, right?” she teases, knowing fully well there is nothing he hates more.
“Crazy bitch,” he replies, and I know that if he was here in person, he’d be flipping her off. “Tell Chris to stop texting me in all caps, by the way. The dude is old, but not old enough to be texting like a goddamn grandpa.”
“I heard that,” I say loudly, stepping up behind Abby.
“Hey, you’re home!” She turns around on her stool and hugs me, pulling my face down for a kiss.
“Okay, if you’re going to start making out, I’m hanging up,” Jagger says, making gagging noises. “See you soon.”
“Love you,” Abby and I say into the phone at the same time, but Jagger hangs up without replying. At least he heard us say it. I don’t need him to say it back, but I do need him to know that we still want him here, even though he’s been acting out ever since his mother died. I don’t completely get how not being with the people who love him is something that helps him grief, but Abby says it’s perfectly natural and that it’s exactly what she would have done when she was 16. She’s the expert, so I guess I have to take her word for it, but I still think it’s a stupid way of dealing with heartbreak.
On the other hand, it’s not like I was dealing with it much better the first week of Dorothy’s death, and I’d only known the woman for a few months. Abby was the one to pull me out of the darkness and show me that it’s okay to have positive feelings, that I don’t need to feel guilty for still being in love with her and being eager to adopt the boys. Hopefully she can work her magic on Jagger soon, because even though the kid is obnoxious and he hasn’t been in our lives for that long, I miss him. He’s mine just as much as Davy and Yoah are, even if he doesn’t want to be.
“Damn, Dr. Davids,” Abby says, taking in the white coat I’m still wearing. I forgot to take it off after going on a house call, and she grabs the stiff white fabric, using it to pull me down for a scorching hot kiss. “I have this weird rash on my breasts,” she says with a twinkle in her eyes. “I think you’re going to need to rub lotion all over it.”
I laugh and push her wild hair out of her face. “Talking about weird rashes… such a turn-on.”
She giggles and rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine, my seduction skills need some work. Let me try again… The kids are over at Edward’s house for a playdate with Freddie, Jagger is still off doing God knows what, so there is no one around to cockblock us, and I can’t wait to get you naked and wrap my lips around your cock.” She bats her lashes at me. “Better?”
“Much better.” I’m tired as hell and need a shower, but there is no way I’m passing up on a rare moment alone with Abby. I’m falling more and more in love with her every single day, and I can tell it’s the same for her. The way she looks at me sometimes, even if it’s just across the dinner table when she hands me the salt… It totally undoes me every single time.
She yelps when I pick her up from the stool and set her down on the kitchen island, pulling down her sweatpants and panties in one swift motion. I sit down on the stool she was on just a moment ago, lowering my face between her legs. Her loud moan when I run my tongue over her slowly is the best sound ever, and I repeat the motion a few times, causing her to grab my hair and pull me against her harder. I feel so much more confident with her than I ever have in the past.
“Oh God, yes,” she moans, arching her back when I slip two fingers into her tight pussy, fingerfucking her hard while I keep lapping my tongue over her clit. She comes with a shriek, saying my name over and over again while she comes down from her high.
“Good?” I ask, unable to keep a smirk off my face.
“Fuck yeah,” she breathes. “Now stand up and fuck me.”
I could come just from her orders alone. I’ve never been with a woman quite this vocal about what she needs form me. Aside from Chloe, but the orders she gave me… Yeah, I wasn’t going to do any of the things she wanted me to. Not my thing. With Abby, it’s different. We get each other. She knows me and I know her, and we would never tell the other to do something we’re not already sure they will want to do anyway.
My pants fall down to the floor once I’ve unbuckled my pants, and she pulls down my boxershorts, touching my cock with both hands like she’s unable to keep her hands off me. I step between her legs, pushing them open even more, and she leads me to her entrance, moaning loudly when I fill her.
“I’ve never had sex in the kitchen before,” I tell her as I slowly push into her further.
“This kitchen?” she asks, her voice hoarse as she digs her fingers into my back, slowly raking her nails down until she’s digging them into my ass, urging me to go faster, take her harder.
She gasps, her eyes locking with mine. “Me either. So… I’m you’re first?”
“And I’m yours.”
We’re both no virgins, but there is something so nice about knowing we’re doing something with each other than no other person has done before. No, not nice. Hot. Very, very hot.
“Harder,” she orders, her legs wrapping around my waist.
I comply, taking her hard and fast, unable to keep myself from blowing my load into her only a minute later. I try to hold out, but it’s impossible. She kisses me as I come down, moaning softly when I pull out.
“Sorry,” I pant, feeling bad for not being able to last longer.
“For what?” Abby asks, sliding down from the kitchen isle and grabbing some tissues to wipe herself before pulling her sweats back on. “For giving me an amazing orgasm with your tongue? For fucking me in the kitchen? For making me feel like a sexy, desirable woman? Yeah, those truly are things to be sorry for.”
I pull up my pants and kiss her softly, pulling my fingers through her hair. They get stuck on the knots in it, and we both laugh at that.
“Go take a shower, put on some comfortable clothes,” she tells me with a smile. “Want to come with me to pick up the kids from Edwards’s?”
“Yeah, of course.” I kiss her again, silently willing myself to leave the room. And her. Yeah, okay I can’t. “Want to take a shower with me?”
Her eyes widen, and so does her smile. “Hell yeah. Shower sex?”
“Oh God, yes,” I breathe, kissing her again. “I love it when the kids aren’t home.”
She grins. “Yeah, I know. I love them, but they are some serious cockblocks. Or well…” She frowns, and it’s so cute to see her with nose all scrunched up and her brow furrowed. “I guess they’re pussyblocking me, huh?”
“No one blocking your pussy now,” I tease, moving a hand down to grab between her legs.
“Fuck,” Abby grunts. “What’s gotten into you today, Chris? Not that I’m complaining, but… damn.”
I kiss her softly, and she moans when I keep rubbing her through her clothes. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I’ve got something in my pants that would love to get into you.”
She laughs into our kiss. “I love you so much, you weirdo.”
“That was supposed to be sexy,” I complain, laughing too. “Not weird.”
“Lucky for you, I like weird.”
Instead of keeping up this fun banter, I grab her, lift her up, and carry her upstairs. She wraps her legs around my waist, grinding against me while I try to keep moving, walking her into through our bedroom into the ensuite bathroom.
“No one has ever carried me like this,” she says while we both get undressed.
“Never?” I ask incredulously. I mean, it’s not like this is something I do on a regular basis, but it’s not the first time I walked a woman upstairs with her legs wrapped around me.
“I’ve been told I weigh too much for that,” Abby says, her cheeks flushing bright red.
“What?” I ask loudly, shocked to hear her say that.
“Come on, Chris…” She gestures at her naked body, rolling her eyes. “I’m not exactly skinny.”
“You’ve got curves,” I agree, putting my hands on her hips as I kiss her. “Beautiful, feminine, sexy curse. Your ex-boyfriends must have been some scrawny assholes, because you are definitely not too heavy to carry, baby.” To prove it, I pick her up and spin her around, making her laugh. Her breasts bounce when I throw her around like this, and I can’t help but drop my gaze to them when I put her back down. “You’re so sexy, Abby. You make me so hard.”
She moans when I push her against the wall and kiss her neck, grinding my erection against her. “So you don’t wish…” She gasps when I pinch her nipple, and pushes me away a little, apparently wanting to get something off her chest. “You don’t wish I was skinnier? That I would start dieting to get rid off my rolls? I know that I could eat healthier and aside from talking long walks with Titus I don’t exercise, and I should-”
“Hell no,” I interrupt her, not wanting her to keep putting herself down. “You’re beautiful. I love your rolls. And your ass, your breasts, everything about you.” I run my hands over her body, making her writhe against me. “I’ve never felt as out of control and completely under someone’s spell as I do with you, Abby. I love your mind and your body. I’ll love you no matter if you gain or lose weight. I honestly don’t care. Would you stop finding me attractive if I gain a few pounds? Of when I start getting gray hair, or go bald or something?”
“Of course not,” she says immediately, smiling sweetly. “Although I’d miss tugging at your wild curls, obviously.” She does just that, jerking my face down to hers by yanking at my hair, making me groan.
Our kiss is filled with need, and I pick her up again, setting her on the bathroom counter so I can step between her legs. She immediately leads me to her entrance, crying out when I enter her. I’m not even trying to make it last this time. I don’t know why, but I’m totally out of control today. She feels so good that it should be illegal. I move my hands down her back, digging my fingers into her skin and holding her in place so I can thrust into her even harder.
As she wraps her legs closer around me and edges forward while she kisses my neck, one of my hands ends up with the fingers between her cheeks, and she takes me by surprise by moaning louder than ever when a finger brushes over her puckered little hole.
I force myself to stop moving so I can catch my breath, my finger still pressed against her hole. She squirms, her eyes filled with lust and wonder as she looks up at me.
“Have you ever…?” I ask hoarsely.
She shakes her head.
“Do you want me to…?”
Abby nods, her cheeks flushing. The idea that I will be the first to touch her there makes me even harder, and I’m sure I’m going to blow the moment we start moving again. Slowly, I press my finger against her ass, slowly inserting it, looking closely at her face to see her reaction.
“Fuck that feels good,” she says with wide eyes. “I didn’t expect it would.”
I’m honestly not sure what to do except to slip it in a little further and start thrusting again, but she doesn’t seem to need more than that. My finger moves a little each time I thrust into her, and she screams so loud that it makes my ears ring. Her entire body convulse as she comes, her walls spasming around me so hard that I immediately come too, just as hard as Abby.
“Oh,” she moans her I slowly pull my finger out, squeezing her ass after. “That was…”
“We’re definitely doing that again,” I agree, kissing her softly before pulling out. She seems a little embarrassed now that we’re done, so I kiss her again, nipping at her bottom lip. “I love I’m your first at something,” I tell her, moving my lips to her neck. “I’m googling the shit out of this tonight so I’ll know what the fuck I’m doing next time.”
She giggles at that. “I’ve got no complaints, Chris. None at all. I had no idea I’d like that. I’ve never actually…” She hesitates and steps away from me, turning on the shower so the water can heat up before we get in. “I don’t think I’ve told you this before, but I’m used to experiencing a lot of pain and tension during sex, so I’ve never gotten around to trying anything other then oral and, you know, normal penetration.”
“Pain?” I ask, worried about her now. “Did I ever hurt you?” I’m so sorry, Abby. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not you, Chris, never you.” She pulls me underneath the hot water and grabs some shower gel, rubbing it across my back, massaging me while she does. I haven’t felt this relaxed in weeks. “You’re the first person I truly feel safe with, like you would never hurt me, or judge me, or make me feel worthless. Sex was okay with my first boyfriend back in high school, and it was pretty good with this guy I dated in college, but once I started working as a nanny, and…” I know what she means. When the abuse started. I fucking hate what those guys did to her. “Once… that happened, I started having trouble feeling safe and relaxed when it came to sex, and it stopped being something I truly enjoyed. With you, though…” She presses her breasts against my back as she runs her soapy hands over my chest. “So, so, so good.”
“Hmm,” I murmur, turning around in her arms so I can kiss her. “I’m glad to hear that. If you ever don’t feel safe with me, or if I hurt you in any way, you’d tell me, right?”
“Yes, but you won’t,” she says, complete trust shining in her green eyes. “That’s why this works. I need that. I need someone like you. No, fuck that, I need you. Not someone like you. I love you, Chris. So much. I don’t think I’ve ever truly been in love before you.” She presses a finger to my lips when I start to talk, smiling. “I know that’s not true for you, baby, and that’s okay. You were married for five years after all. I just… I guess I just want you to know you’re special to me.”
She’s so cute when she’s all serious and flustered like she’s now, looking at me with so much love that I can’t help but fall for her a little more.
“It’s the same for me,” I tell her, kissing the finger she’s still holding against my lips. “Yes, I’ve been in love before, but you make me feel like I’m a teenager again instead of a grown man turning 46 soon. I’ve never felt so…” I try to find the right words to tell her what she means to me, but I don’t think they even exist. “We just fit,” I say after a moment, resting my forehead against hers. “Abby… how would you feel about moving in with me?”
She laughs, leaning back a little. “You know I already live here, right?”
“Yes, but it’s my house, with my stuff. I’d rather live in a place that’s yours too.”
It’s hard to be sure underneath the stream of hot water, but I think she’s crying a little. “That’s the sweetest things ever,” she breathes, pulling me against her and resting her cheek against my chest. “Too bad I don’t owe any stuff other than what’s already in my bedroom.”
“Then we’ll get you stuff,” I insist. “Paint a wall together or something, and we can put your name on the lease if you want to. I want to make sure that if something happens to me, you’ll be taken care of, and you’ll get to keep our kids. The kid thing will have to wait until they’re officially mine, but we can take care of the house and the money side of things before that.”
“The money side of things?” she repeats. “Are you saying… Chris, you can’t leave me your savings when you die. That’s crazy.”
“Who else?” I ask, touching her face tenderly. “I know we haven’t been together very long, but I already know this is it for me, Abby. I’m not going anywhere, so the only way this is ever going to end is if you chose to walk away from me, which I will try my hardest to prevent. I don’t like thinking about death, but after Dorothy… We have to be practical, and I want to make sure you’re okay, and that the kids are too. Let me do that for you. Let me put you in my will, okay?”
She shakes her head. “It’s too soon, Chris. You barely know me.”
“I know enough,” I insist. “Think about it, okay? I won’t do anything unless you’re on board, but just know that you’re as special to me as I am to you. I love you. You take care of me in all the ways that matter, you hold me up when I crumble, you make me feel loved, safe, wanted… You make me feel like I’m enough, and no one has ever made me feel that way, not even my ex-wife.”
“You are enough,” she says in a choked voice. “You’re more than enough. You’re perfect. It’s me who’s not-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” I warn her, kissing her softly. “You’re exactly who you need to be, and everything I’ll ever need.”
“Okay,” she breathes, smiling up at me. “Guess we’re pretty perfect, huh?”
“Yeah, we are,” I agree, grabbing the shampoo to wash her hair, making her moan when I massage her scalp. “Stop moaning like that or we’ll need a third round,” I grunt, squeezing her ass.
“Oh yes,” she says immediately, smirking. “We agreed on shower sex, after all, and haven’t actually fucked in the shower yet, so…”
Before I can react, she’s already on her knees, wrapping her lips around my cock and bobbing her head up and down while playing with my balls. It feels down good that I have to pull her away from me after a minute, not wanting to come before I’m inside her tight pussy. I push her up against the wall, lift her legs to wrap them around me, and enter her again, not at all feeling like we’ve already been at it two times today. Every time with her feels like I need it the way I need breathing. Like I will die without her.
Afterwards, we have to rush to get dressed and pick up the kids at Edward’s place before dinner. He gives us a look like he knows exactly why we’re late, and he pulls me aside when Abby is tying Davy’s shoelaces.
“You didn’t buy a ring yet, did you?” he teases, nudging me.
“No,” I reply, smiling. “But at the rate we’re going, I don’t think it’ll be long.” I mean that. It may be soon, but I want this woman in my life until the day I die, and I’m not going to wait just because that’s what most people do. I know she needs more time to be sure of me, and to accept that I truly want her. She seems to feel she’s not worthy of me sometimes, which is absolutely ridiculous. It doesn’t feel that way to me at all.
When I met my ex-wife, I felt like I had managed to get a girl out of my league to settle for me, but with Abby it just feels… right. We’re both good people, we love each other, and we give each other exactly what the other needs. I give her the safe haven she’s been craving all her life, and she gives me the fire I sometimes lack. We bring out the best in each other, tapping into our fun side I think we’ve both kept buried inside for too long.
I’m definitely going to marry Abby, and I’d rather do it sooner than later, if it’s up to me.
- This chapter is longer than usual, but I didn’t want to delete any part of it. I know it’s all a little sappy and shit, but I know I’m about to rain hell down on everyone soon, so let’s just enjoy the sappy parts while we still can... (Hahaha, be warned...)
- I received a 2-star review today and it kinda broke my heart, even though I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. The review said that it takes too long for anything to happen in this story. I know this story moves along slowly, but just so you know... That’s not going to change. I get it if you stop reading if you don’t like that. That’s okay. I think it suits the story and the characters to take it slow and to have some less exciting chapters sometimes, devoted to their love and the bond between Chris, Abby, and the three kids. I hope that you guys enjoy the story even though it’s different from my other 4 books in many ways.
- Anyway, on to the next chapter! I will be posting another one in a few moments!
Love, your Goddess xoxox