SUBMIT (BOOK 2, DSD SERIES)

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Chapter 12

Chev pushes open the door to the building and I slowly move forward with the crouches helping to keep me upright.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get someone to help you up?” Chev asks as she follows me into the lobby.

“No, I can do it.”

Pain is coursing through my body right now and by my grunts and facial expressions I’m sure she can tell. But that someone she wants to help me is someone I’m not ready to see just yet.

“Izzy-”

“Chev! I’m fine!” I shout catching her off guard. I sigh relaxing my body and turn to face her. “Look I’m sorry but I’m fine. Just get the elevator and doors for me.”

She gives me a knowing look before shaking her head. She walks away from me towards the elevator and presses the button. It opens and she steps in looking at me while shaking her head. I make my way inside and the doors close bringing us closer to my floor.

Dread takes me over at the elevator moves up and my heart beats frantically in my ears. My mind plays on Johnattan and I can’t help but fear seeing him again. I’m not ready, I can’t do this. His eyes. His eyes are what bring me back to that night. Just one look in them and I see Liam’s.

God, I wish I could just forget that night. Forget him, but everything that happened still plagues me. It’s the one thing I can’t forget.

As the elevator dings I take a sharp intake. Chev places a hand between my shoulder blades giving me a pat and I jut at the contact.

“Izzy calm down,” Chev says with an exasperated sigh. “You’ll be fine, stop worrying and let’s go.”

She’s right I need to calm my nerves and believe that it’s going to be okay. I’m a big girl and I can do this. For me, for Johnattan and most importantly my baby.

We slowly make our way out the elevator and down the hall or am I the one doing all that extra slowness?

“Come on Izzy pick up the pace, you’re walking slower than my grandma. And don’t say it’s because your leg is broken you’ve been walking at a good pace up until here,” she says as she leans on the wall beside my apartment door with her arms cross.

Dang, there goes my excuse.

“It’s acting up now. That’s why my pace is slower.” I say as I give her a nervous smile.

She shakes her head and give me a ‘bitch please’ face. “Girl if you don’t get your ass over here.”

I look at her with pleading expression by she just raises a brow daring me to challenge her. I slowly make my way towards her and she gives me a small smile before stepping aside. I stand before the door with creases brows before looking over at Chev. She looks at me confused. Oh god not tonight of all nights the suspense is putting me on edge.

Will he be in there? Will he not? That is the question that plagues my mind.

I go to move back but Chev block my path shaking her head. “Nope, don’t even think about it... Get your ass up in that apartment right now.”

“Chev I can’t -”

“Izzy I ain’t playing. You are going to get your little white girl ass up in there.”

I shake my head moving to go around her but she just blocks me. “Where are you off to crouches? The door’s over there.”

I look up at her disapprovingly. “You know name calling isn’t helping your case right?”

“Ump, less talking. More moving,” she scold.

I nod turning around and trying to pass the door only to be blocked again. Chev shakes her head with a perplexed look. “To the door Izzy.”

“Aren’t you afraid all that shaking will make your head fall off,” I say narrowing my eyes in annoyance.

“Aren’t you tired of trying to run away with your tail between your legs like a pussy?” She shoots back.

I roll my eyes in defeat. She’s right. I’m acting like a coward, something I’m not and won’t let any man turn me into. “Fine, open the door.”

“It’s already open just push,” she says motioning to the door.

I turn towards the door taking a deep breath before releasing one of the crouches - keeping it steady under my arm - and push open the door.

It creaks as it opens and the first thing to greet me are barks. I look forward and time seems to slow as my Roxie turns to corner and dashes towards me.

“Roxie!” I say in glee as she runs and pounces on me.

She lands on my chest and I move back a bit before Chev catches and steadies me. Roxie licks my face and I laugh in glee.

She barks enthusiastically and I kiss her head as I hold her up with one arm. “I missed you so much girl.”

I feel tears come to my eyes only for Roxie to lick them away.

Damn these hormones. ”I love you girl.”

“It’s that cute. The dog’s getting more love than me.”

I look up and Lexi comes into my field of vision. Her hair is in a messy bun, a blue maternal top and black sweat pants. She looks puffy, glowing and her stomach stands out, it is way bigger.

“Lexi,” I breathe and Roxie jumps off as if on cue. Lexi moves towards me engulfing me in a hug.

Her stomach pushes against mine as she holds me and I smile as I hold her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

I feel tears fall from my eyes as I hold her enjoying the feeling of having my best friend so close.

“It’s okay,” she says as she pulls away and tips to kiss my forehead. “I’m just happy you’re back.”

“I’m such a bad best friend. I shouldn’t have left you all alone,” I say and she shakes her head.

“Let’s save the apologies for tomorrow. Right now come on in, you must be hungry.”

“Finally someone notices that we haven’t left the door,” Chev says sarcastically. “And Izzy you’re not light so steady yourself so I can let go.”

I flush as I notice that Chev is still holding me upright. I steady myself and she lets go. “Sorry I didn’t remember -”

“Oh I noticed,” she says with a glare. “Imagine she forgets me after walking through the same door she didn’t want to go through. Typical, you forget who was helping you here after you finally made it to your destination.”

“Oh, someone sounds like she’s jealous that someone forget them after seeing someone,” Lexi teases as she makes her way to the kitchen.

Chev rolls her eyes closing to door and makes her way after Lexi. Roxie makes her way towards me and I smile. My own escort, how sweet.

I move forward slowly before stopping in my tracks. Johnattan. He may be there, in the kitchen. My heart hammers in my chest and try to peep around the corner. From where I am only Lexi is visible and she’s conversing animatedly. She spots me and shakes her head.

“He’s not here. You can come in,” she replies as she moves to the sink.

I sigh relieved but a bit disappointed. I didn’t want to see him yet I wanted to. I’m so confusing.

I make my way into the kitchen with Roxie beside me and carefully prop myself upon a stool. As I face the girls Lexi places a bowl of soup in front of me and Chev hands me a spoon. Roxie runs off to her bowls at a corner of the room and I smile as she chows down.

“Eat up,” Lexi says walking to the fridge.

“You need it,” Chev says as I take the spoon. She smiles before taking some of the cake from the plate in front of her and places it in her mouth.

I take a sip of the soup and moan at the taste. Finally food to treat your mouth!

“Thanks Lexi, this is the best meal I’ve tasted in days,” I say as I sip some more.

She chuckles as she comes and sit in front of me with a slice of chocolate cake. “I figured... Last time I checked hospital food wasn’t so tasty.”

She pauses as she sees my gaze on her cake and shakes her head at me. “Mine.” She says possessively.

I look up at her with puppy eyes and she looks at me unimpressed. “No.”

“Pretty please with chocolate cake on top?” I say with my imitation of Roxie’s best puppy eyes.

She signs pushing the plate to me and I smile taking some and popping it in my mouth. The taste explodes on my tongue and I moan in pleasure.

She pulls away the plate and I open my eyes shocked. “So first you take it, now you’re having a foodgasm in front of me? You monster!” She says in mock hurt.

“Sorry?” I say a bit confused.

“Just sorry? I don’t know you anymore,” she say placing her hands over her swollen breasts.

“Wow Lexi you moved from oranges to watermelons in a few months!”

She gazes at her chest with a blush tainting her cheeks. “Yeah, I guess the little one is to be thank for that.”

She rests her hand on her stomach with a smile and I look over at her fighting the urge to do the same. She looks at me before removing her hand and shaking her head.

“Sorry Chrissie. I didn’t mean to-”

“Lexi, it’s okay,” I say with a genuine smile. “How does it feel?”

She looks up at me unsure but I nod her on.

“Yeah, how does it feel to house another human in your stomach?” Chev asks.

I shake my head. “Why did you say it so weirdly?”

“I did not... It doesn’t sound weird.” She defends.

“Yes, you took all the magic from it. Come in really ‘how does it feel to house another human in your stomach?’. Why not ‘what’s it like to have life growing inside of you?’?”

“Oh shut up Izzy,” she says playfully. “When since are you about sounding all magical?”

“I-”

“It’s wonderful,” Lexi says breaking our petty argument. “Feeling him or her kick and move around. The idea of having a mini you inside of you just feel... It’s so... It’s unexplainable. It’s magical.”

“See!” I exclaim like a three year old. ”Magical!”

We laugh at my silliness and after a few more conversations and finishing my dinner I make my way to my room. Chev and Lexi are doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen so they said I should go and pick out my PJs. According to Chev she’d have to help me to shower since I have on the cast. Not something I am looking forward to. Trust me I know I’m drop dead gorgeous but this drop dead gorgeous body hasn’t seen a razor nor Nair for a few days.

Yeah...

I push open the door and my mouth nearly drops as I take in the scenery.

“Oh my god.”

I cover my mouth with one hand as my heart thuds loudly again. In my room there are clusters of blue balloons scattered at various parts of my room and letters stacked on my desk. Purple Hyacinth, white Peonies and red and pink Carnations are scattered across my bed, around and makes a path towards it.

Oh my god.

I make my way forward following the path and as I reach my bed I notice there’s something on my bed. Surrounded by a heart with one layer of Purple Hyacinth, white Peonies and red and pink Carnations is a small pink teddy bear with a small IPhone between its paws.

The IPhone’s cover is adorned with blue diamonds and there’s a silver and gold C in the centre and Christina written in gold underneath. It’s so sparkly and cute... My poor hormonal heart is igniting... Yeah sure Tina blame it on hormones.

I take up the phone slowly and as I turn it around and press the power button there’s a photo of me at the Villa staring out at the sunset. When was this even taken?

I’m in a towel and it’s barely doing anything to cover my body, my hair falls down my back in luscious brown curls and the sun shines on my face making me look enchanting. Under the photo are the words Mi diosa.

My goddess.

I feel tears roll down my cheeks and I smile as I wipe them away. I swipe the screen and a message pops up. I click on it and my heart warms at the words displayed across the screen.

Purple Hyacinth - please forgive me, White Peonies - I’m sorry, Red and Pink Carnations - I miss you and you are unforgettable. That’s the message hidden in those flowers mi diosa and one more thing...

I’m never gonna give up.

J.


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