"I’d rather die with someone than let that person die before my eyes. More so if she’s a girl like you.”
“Sometimes the things that matter the most are right in front of you.”
“Just consider hardships as another part of training and keep working hard.”
"No matter what my heart will be forever yours and I will fight until the day I see you again.”
My eyes water as I finish the two seasons of Sword Art online. Kirito and Asuna are one of the best couples I’ve ever seen. Stuck in a virtual game by the game master they fight for their lives in this game - that’s not really a game anymore. If you die the game, you die in reality and there’s no coming back.
Two warriors bent on winning the game and setting free the SAO players they fight boss after boss trying to make it back to reality.
It’s a wonderful story and I’m sure many people would love to watch these two’s love story but few don’t.
The thought of watching an animation or “cartoon” as many like to classify them as... Which is totally wrong because Cartoons don’t have a story line they are just random episodes leading up to nothing whereas Anime is more coordinated and there is always something to look forward to that big climax at leaves you wanting.
Some people hate the idea of watching anime because they see it as childish but I argue if you can sit and watch a Disney animation that 99.9% at times ends in happily ever after why not take the time to anime? - It’s more realistic... Sometimes.
Shaking my head I dry my tears before reaching over and taking up the remote. I eject the disc and sigh.
“Those two played my heart like a violin,” I say as I stare at the blank screen.
Kirito and Asuna retained their love even in such a life threatening situation, they never gave up and believed with all their heart that they would make it out alive and find each other when they get out.
Love... A word that has so many meanings... A word that can be the most beautiful yet the most destructive.
I look out my bedroom window and sigh at the sight I saw. The sunlight shines into my room brightly as it’s noon now. Dust particles dance around haphazardly in the light as it shines on my bed. I reach my hand out trying to touch them just to have them drift away.
So close yet I can’t touch.
A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts and I sigh before telling them to enter. Lexi pops in with a smile on her face and I smile at her reassuringly. It’s been two days since Lexi and I’s heart to heart and it’s been good. We’ve been spending time together talking and we even had that talk. At first she didn’t quite understand why I left but after half an hour of explaining she understood.
She told me that my actions may have their justification but it wasn’t the best thing to do. I had left her and not to mention Johnattan into a bad place. She’d explained to me her pain but when I asked about Johnattan’s she refused to tell me saying I should hear it from him.
And she didn’t look too happy when she said that. Many thoughts ran through my mind but I shook them away. I couldn’t jump to conclusions I needed to talk to Johnattan but when is the question... When will I be brave enough to look him into his eyes and speak to him?
Lexi makes her way to my bed side with a knowing smile. “You’ve got visitors.”
I raise my brow with a confused look on my face. “Visitors? I thought you went all mother goose and scared them off.”
She rolls her eyes as she defends herself. “You needed to rest, their visits wouldn’t allow that so that gave me every right to go bird shit crazy on them.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m surprised they even came back. According to what I heard you gave it to them good.”
“Well, I’m Brooklyn born and California raised. If I didn’t have little attitude in me my momma would rise from her grave just to disown my ass,” she jokes.
“True. No one was as sassy as Momma Jacobs,” I agree as I think about Lexi’s mother. “She could hold her own with Madea and leave with her weave in tack.”
“Oh, so true and we knew better than to mess with Momma’s weaves she’d have our asses on a silver platter before we could utter an apology.”
We chuckle together as we remember our dear Momma Jacobs. Caroline O’Brien Jacobs, she was like a second mother to me when my mother died. She was there to comfort me and after that traumatic abortion she took me in. She and Lexi helped me to get back on my feet, they nurtured me and they treated me like family more than I could say about my real family. Excluding my mom my other family members didn’t give a shit about me. Yet these people who had recently met me showed me more love than they ever did.
“Momma Jacobs was a powerful, kind and caring young woman. May her soul rest in peace,” I say as I reminisce on her.
I look at Lexi who smiles at me and I remember Momma J. She has her frizzy, black hair, her plump lips and her beautiful smile. The only thing she lacks are her greenish blue eyes. They were the most beautiful thing about her, her eyes brought you to a place of comfort and they compelled you with their unique look.
She once told us that her eyes were what drew the jovial Kyle Jacobs to her. He was smitten with just one look and she was smitten with just one word. His voice was so captivating she fell under his spell like it was a siren’s call. Their love was one of the few that passed the test of time and created this beautiful being before me.
No later than a year after Lexi was born though Kyle died from a heart attack. It was unexpected and the doctors were puzzled at what caused it. Caroline was heartbroken and cried for many nights mourning the loss of her soulmate.
She said at times she was tempted to take her life but one look in Lexi’s eyes which were exactly like Kyle’s made her abandon the thought. She loved him so much that she wanted to die just to be with him but her love for Lexi was stronger and after 20 years of caring for her daughter she finally joined her love.
“Yes may she rest in peace. Plus she must be having fun getting it on with Daddy J and waking up the residents of heaven.” Lexi chuckles at my shocked expression and I can’t but help but laugh too. She sighs turning her head towards the door with pursed lips. “Okay that’s enough joking around, let’s get your guests in here. Come on in guys!”
A few seconds the door opens and a group of three walk in. Two females and one male all dressed on their Klan’s dinner shirt.
“Izzy,” Shanice says as she moves closer to me.
Her black hair is pulled back into a low bun, her brown eyes are filled with worry and in her hand she grips a box of chocolate firmly.
“Are you okay? Feeling better? I haven’t seen you since that night-”
“I’m fine Shan,” I say reassuringly as I reach out to hold her hand.
Her fingers loosen on the box of chocolate and I snatch it from her hand. She gasps in surprise while I waste no time with opening the box and placing a chocolate kiss into my mouth.
I moan in delight. “So delicious.”
Lexi and the others chuckle at my behaviour and I blush a bit embarrassed by my actions.
“Never get between Chrissie and chocolates she’ll go lethal for them,” Lexi jokes and I find myself chuckling with them.
“Oh right...Christina,” Shanice says. “Chev had told us but I’d forgotten.”
Lexi looks at me sympathetically before shooting me a ’you’ve got this” look.
“Well I’m going to make some snacks. You all catch up,” Lexi says as she makes her way to the door.
“Lexi, you don’t have to-” I start.
“No I should we had our chat now it’s time for you to have your chat. It’ll be fine,” she smiles before slipping through the door.
I look up at the faces before me and I mentally sigh as I see the looks each of them carries. They want answers.
“Yes my name Christina Hase,” I say in confirmation. Shan looks at me with a small smile nodding her head and I sigh. Here it goes. “Look guys, I’m sorry for lying to you but I had to. I know you must hate me or feel betrayed but at the time I thought this was the right thing to do. I was running away from a lot of things in my past and in that present moment. My life became confusing, overwhelming and I-I couldn’t handle it. I hurt a lot of people with my irrational actions. I’m sorry if -no not if- that I hurt you guys I didn’t intend to ... I just wanted to leave all those things behind but it seems they still came back to haunt me. Guys I’m -”
“Christina, it’s okay,” Chris says interrupting my ranting as he makes his way towards my bed with a portfolio in his hand. “We’ve all met a point in our life when the road gets rocking and we flee the scene. We don’t hate you, we don’t think you are a coward for running away because feelings are some very powerful things and they’ll push you to do crazy and irrational things. People have their way to cope with things maybe running away to get away from it is yours. Not saying it’s the right choice but we can’t hate you for it.”
“He’s right Izzy,” Chev pipes up. “If you hadn’t run away we wouldn’t have met you and we wouldn’t all be friends. I do feel a little betrayed at the fact that you hid your identity from us. By us I mean Shan, Edward and I because Chris knew all along so he doesn’t count.”
Chris scratches the back of his head while Chev shoots him a stink eye. “Anyways during those days you were unconscious and the week that followed we all discussed it and we have forgiven you. You had your reasons. You felt the need to hide and we don’t blame you. We were strangers at first and you didn’t trust us as yet. We had no right to know about you or your problems. You could have shut us out completely but you didn’t.
Shan nods her head and sits down beside me as she speaks. “You shared a part of you with us and we befriended you because we loved that part of you. This minor detail about you not telling us your real name isn’t enough to get us to hate you Christina, Isabelle.... We don’t care. We are still your friends no matter what name you choose to go by and that will never change.”
Tears stream down my eyes and Shan wipes them away with a small smile.
Their speech had touched my heart. These people... These wonderful people I call my friend. I don’t deserve them they are too good to me even when I’m not honest to them.
“I love you guys,” I say through my tears. They look at me with a chuckle before replying together. “We love you too Izzy.”
After our makeup session Lexi came in with snacks and we all decided to have some food before carrying on.
Lexi is an amazing cook but she doesn’t really like to cook. She only does it if she has to. She made grill cheese sandwiches, chocolate brownies, shrimp and cheese pasta and some banana juice from scratch. And that’s just lunch! Imagine dinner.
Suddenly I’m grateful I’m sick... It gives her a reason to man the stove.
Is that wrong of me? Well I don’t really care, she’s stuffing me and my baby and I’m thankful for it.
My baby... One more thing I’m yet to tell her about. They just forgave me and I’m still hiding something or rather someone from them... Oh, the secrets we keep.
“Here,” Chris says as he hands me the portfolio- knocking me from my thoughts.
We are all in my room feasting on Lexi’s meal. Lexi and Chev are having their own conversation while the others and I converse among ourselves.
“What is it?” I ask as I put my empty glass on the nightstand and take the portfolio from his hands.
“Well, if you don’t open it you won’t see darling,” he says with a duh tone and I scrunch my nose.
“Well, what if wanted you to tell me so I have an idea what I’m going to look at?” I shoot back. “A real presenter presents his idea before referring his audience to the portfolio in their hands darling-”
“Just shut up and open the blasted thing,” he huffs rolling his eyes.
The girls and I laugh at Chris who sits back in his chair that’s placed beside my bed. They are all at my bed with chairs actually. Chris and Shan on one side and Lexi and Chev on the other.
“Alright I will,” I say as I open the portfolio.
I look around taking a deep breath. I raise my hand slowly as I attempt to open the portfolio trying to build suspense.
“Just open the damn thing,” Chris says annoyed.
“Okay, okay,” I say as open the portfolio. Okay stop playing with Chris, Tina.
My mouth drops as I read the words on the paper. I look over at Chris who looks over at me with a smile.
“Read on,” he says softly.
(Formerly known as Klan’s Diner)
The portfolio goes on to speak about diner renovations, new additions, a theme change, uniform change and other upgrades.
I couldn’t believe it... This couldn’t mean what I think it means.
“Christina, I thought long and hard about the suggestions you had made about the diner. The addition of a roller rink, bowling area and arcade. I think your ideas are interesting and I’d like to go along with them,” Chris states and my heart hammers. “I want to go into business with you. I want you to take my dinner to the next level and bring in a larger crowd so we all can still have a job after this Christmas season. Based on my predictions I don’t think we’ll make it carrying on like this.”
“Oh my god, Chris I don’t know what to say,” I say in surprise.
“Say yes!” Chev shouts in at me and I laugh unable to fight the tears and smile making their way onto my face.
“Yes I’ll love to go into business with you,” I say and the girls cheer.
“Great! I’d went ahead and typed up some ideas, you can overlook them, make suggestion or changes,” he says enthusiastically.
“I will! I will! Thank you,” I say reaching forward to hug him.
“No thank you Christina,” he says as he embraces me.
“Well looks like you have something to keep you occupied,” Lexi says with a sigh. “She’s such a baby, ′Lexi I’m bored’, ‘Lexi my anime’s finished what should I do now?’, ‘Lexi I’m sooo bored’..."
“Okay, okay, maybe I’m a little annoying,” I say as they all laughed at me.
"A little?! Try a whole fucking lot. My head still hurts from all her whining,” Lexi says and we all laugh.
The guys ended up leaving a little after eight. They wanted to taste Lexi’s fantastic cooking before leaving. I couldn’t blame them, my best friend could cook.
The girls had helped me shower and into a blue nightdress before leaving. They even combed out my hair and braided it.
“Did you have fun?” Lexi asks as she comes to sit beside me on the bed.
“Yeah, I did.” I say with a smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a project you know? Interior designing is something I adore and not being able to do it for so long had me in the dumps.”
“Well I’m happy your spirits are being lifted,” she says comfortingly.
“Me too,” I say with that same smile plastered on my face.
My phone vibrates on my nightstand and I look over at it. Lexi raises a brow before reaching to grab it.
"JBear,” she says as she gives me the phone.
I look at the message on my phone with a small smile before placing it in my lap. Lexi shoots me a look and I shrug.
“Aren’t you going to reply?” She asks.
“I... I’m.... No,” I say with a sigh.
“I don’t know what to say to him,” I reply with a frown.
Lexi pinches my chin and makes me look at her. “You need to talk to him. You’ve been patching things up with everyone since the week began. Why not him? Isn’t he important to you?”
“He is. He is so much but I can’t-”
“No, no. None of that. You are Christina Hase, you always find a way and you are not a coward,” she says sternly. “You need to take up that phone and tell that man to come over right now because you two need to talk.”
“Can’t it wait...?”
“No!” She says determined. “Now.”
She hands me my phone and I look at it before looking up at her ‘try me’ face.
“Fine,” I say taking the phone from her hands. “Happy now?”
“Very,” she beams. “Now text him.”
I sign bringing up the chat and with a moment of hesitation I finally formulate a simple text.
Hope you had a fun day today Christina. I heard you had some visitors.
I know you won’t reply but I just wanted you to know I have you on my mind. Every day and every night. Every minute. Every second. ;)
Yes, I had fun today. It was relaxing to have some friends over but my visiting hours aren’t over yet... Johnattan would you please come over? We need to talk.